haylaycat

I only remember fragments of this dream.
Firstly, all of the people in my dorm hallway were living in a house, and I remember the feeling of pining for Ryan's attention, but he was only interested in Audrey.
I also remember walking alone at night in a neighborhood in Utah, going to my old house and talking to the woman who lives there now. I feel like I was looking for my brother Garrett. I didn't like talking to the woman because I feel like she stole our house and my old life.
Then I went to the movies with my family and my floor. Well, it was either/or because they kept switching. We were seeing Wizard of Oz, and of course we got there hella early to see the Cinemark First Look shit that my dad always likes to see.
I thought I would have to go to the bathroom a lot during the movie, so I went before and met this weird, scary lady who was super judgmental of everyone. I feel like she was Judgement personified. She would look at someone and immediately decide who they were and what they liked and what was happening in their lives. Pretty much, totally judging a book by its cover. She was judging Lauren, my roommate, but Lauren was standing up for herself. I felt weak because I knew if she were to judge me out loud I couldn't stand up for myself.
Then we went back to the dorm and I just remember singing "On My Own" from Les Mis and having fun belting it out.

Mostly, I think this relates to the resentments I wrote about last night right before bed. I wrote about two Mormons, one was my ex boyfriend and the other was his mom. I constantly felt judged by them solely because I wasn't what THEY wanted, i.e. a mormon. I felt less than them and like I couldn't stand up to them. I didn't think I was good enough for them because I didn't have their same spiritual beliefs. As a consequence, I judged their religious views really harshly, and they are currently two of my greatest resentments.