Yossarian22

[2-3 sequences, non-lucid, 1-2: Getting shout at ; Controlling a group of people who had no contact with money, 3: Film-like Scene, where a secret agent kills a group of Nazi-officers]

1-2.

- You drive me nuts, you drive me nuts!

A woman is shouting at me. I'm sitting in a room of my old apartment, it's dark outside, and it's unbearable hot inside. I'm sitting there half naked in my pajama pants.

- You idiot, you idiot!

The woman keeps shouting at me. She seems really angry, but I don't know why. I'm looking into the television. There is some reportage about a celebrity.

- Isn't this Henry Fonda?, I asked the woman.

- Fonda? Fonda? Is that all you can think of? It's 16:00 pm, you still have your pajama on, you slept until now and you are just preoccupied if this guy is Fonda or not!

Silence. She keeps on repeating "you're driving me nuts". In the meantime I'm eating some pizza.

- Besides, she says, it's not Fonda, it's Henry Ford.

- Impossible! Are you sure you're not crazy or something?

My view shifts to third person, I'm floating through the ceiling and stand before a gigantic warehouse or something

There is a door in front of me, which opens. A good friend of mine opens the door. he's walking backwards and seems to hold a lecture to a group of people. He says:

- Isn't it unthinkable. Some metal pieces that controlled the whole world!

He stretches is hand out towards me, behind his back. I take my wallet and give him some paper money and some coins. He re-enters the ware house and closes the door. But I leave it a bit open, so that my friend can easily open it.

I'm really preoccupied, I know that we are doing something wicked. I don't like it all. 2 other friends approach me. They came with another crowd of people. I have the feeling that they came to see the other people inside. I close the door again, so that no-one can lurk inside.

- We should tell them, i said to the other friends. It's not cool withholding the truth about money.

I was referring to the people inside. My two friends shake there heads.

- Don't be that preoccupied! There's nothing wrong about that.

The door opens again. My friend from inside comes out the same way as before.

- And that's why all kind of money should be refuted!, he says to the crowed.

- What do you want from me?, he asks me.
- You know that you're doing wrong to them?, I say, you can't keep them shot off the real world

He seemed a bit guilty. But than he said:

- That's why we gathered all those other people outside, so that reality can hit them hard. really hard.

- Yeah, we want to see the dummies!, someone yelled from the crowd.

All the people suddenly open another door and enter the hall. I'm running after them to see what's coming next.

Inside, it seems to me that I knew that the place isn't real. It seems to be a school, but not an ordinary one. I remember that I visit this school only in my dreams. At this moment I wake up.

3.

- This is going to be violent!

A general is talking to me. We are in my home town in a narrow street, in front of a hotel.

- Yossarian, you are going to infiltrate the room of those nazi-officers and prepare the terrain!

Around me there is a group of youngsters, mostly girls, some of them between 14 and 16. I'm wondering how old they are, because I know that I am bad at guessing ages.

So I walk into the hotel. I get past of 4 guards. It seems to me that they are mistaking me for a German lieutenant. I enter a room. There are a general, a captain and a colonel inside. There is also another guy. I know that he is, like me, an agent. But he seems really frightened and uneasy. The colonel talks to me in german

- Hallo Kamarad! Was gibt es Neues von der Front? (Hello comrade, what's new on the front?
- Das übliche (the same as always), I answer.

The three Germans open a door. There is a gigantic bathroom, which seems to be twice as large as the first floor. They tell me that they are dressing up, so that we can go to the opera.

They walk inside. I take a look at the other agent who seems relieved.

- It was getting unbearable inside here, he whispered to me. How could the general think that it is a good idea to infiltrate the squadron 2 weeks before. I don't speak any German at all! How was I going to survive to just say "Ja" and "Nein" all the time??

I ignore him and lock the door of the bathroom. The German soldiers didn't seem to notice. In the meantime, I hear how the girls and the general knock out the guards outsides.

The bathroom door opens again, they come out. One of the Germans tell me a joke, but I don't get it. I'm forcing a laugh.

The general comes in with two of the prettiest girls (which definitely where 20).

- Did you miss me? He says to the colonel in English. He seems not surprised at all.

- We have 4 guards out there, the colonel answers in English. What are going to do about that?
- We knocked them already out, what are you going to do about THAT?

The general makes me sign I should leave the room, what I do. I'm standing for a moment in the floor, but I realize that I'm going to miss the epic showdown. So enter again.
The tallest girl is pointing a gun in some sexy pose. all the Germans are shot.

- And now to the opera!, the general says.

[Half lucid dream in 3-4 episodes. First episode: monster attack. Second episode: Ex-girlfriend- attack. Third and Fourth episode: A pimp attacking my car and war-games turned bad ]

1. I'm walking through a mall. A lot of people are around. They are walking in every direction talking to other people etc. A typical day at the mall. I want to go to a cinema, which apparently is in the mall, although the place seems to be in one way very familiar, but in another very bizarre and strange. The place is mixed, it has features of at least three other places I know in real life: my favorite mall, my favorite cinema and the main railway station in my town.
I'm tired from walking and I take a rest before a public toilette. The place is strange, the roof is tilted, it looks like I'm standing on a hill. I sit down and there is this guy. He looks like stoner. He starts to talk to me:

- Hey you! How's it going.
- I don't know, I'm lost in this place.
- Aren't we all lost sometimes?

He giggles.

- No, you don't understand, I'm looking for the cinema. I want to watch ...
- The New Alien film?, he finished my sentence. Ah man, you know, those films are really special?. sometimes a bit awkward, but rather fun. Isn't it?
- True my pal, I said, especially this one scene where ...

Our conversation get's interrupted. People are screaming, running away. They shout repeatedly "He's back, he's back! ". I stand up and see that the mall is attacked by a gigantic monster. It's running through the lanes, it looks like a scorpion, a lion, a boar and a snake mixed together . Something hideous like that I've never seen in my whole life. It's black-green-ish and has sparkling red eyes. People run away from it but it devours one person after another.
Strangely enough I'm not that feared by the sight of the monster. I had a simple but clever idea to stop this mess as I realized that this might be a dream:
I closed my eyes. After all, when I can't see the monster, it isn't there and can't see me.

2. I open my eyes back again. I'm still in this mall. But this time, I'm in front of the cinema. I feel relieved that I saw a few friends of mine. We walked to the cashier. But the place is really crowed. I have to push the people aside. As i walk through the crowds I see HER. I'm really shocked about it, cause I didn't want to see HER. SHE is my ex-girlfriend, I haven't talked to since 3 months and haven't seen her since our break-up. I'm really irritated. Should I talk to HER or should I simply ignore HER? I recalled a conversation from last weekend that I had with my best friend. I said that I'm not angry anymore and that I'm totally cool about it, so cool, that I could survive such an awkward moment. I also recalled that I resisted every attempt from HER to get me back. But than I recalled that I haven't seen HER in waking life, but only in my dreams. So I feel really confident about it and start talking to her.

- Hey M. Hey M. !
She was looking away.
Some one else said HER name and pointed towards my direction. She turns around.

- Oh, hey, what ...? [SHE seemed surprised]
- Hey it's me! I want to talk to you!

She excuses herself and walks towards me. We go to a place with fewer peoples around and where there is less noise.

I see that SHE has lost enormously weight. SHE has a fine silhouette in waking life, but it seems that SHE only weighted half. Her arms were thin, her legs too, she looked really fragile.

- OMG, I said, what happened to you? You've lost so much weight!

I grabbed her arms. They were so thin that her too arms would have fitted in one of my hands.

- I know, SHE says, I did. People say that I'm a mess ever since I dumped you.
- You're lying and you know it, I say. You aren't really her, I'm just imaging you around. It's a dream. You aren't real.
- I'm not the problem, She answers, you don't let me go. This is your imagination world, not mine. Just simply let me go.
- But I did it!, I protest, I haven't see you around like ages. The memories about you are fading.
- But they come back, or don't they?, she rappels to my mind. You aren't over me for 100 percent.
- How could I?, I replied again.
I feel that I'm loosing the battle. I just want to dump her in my dream for the fifth time. To this day I resisted her attempts, or better said: I resisted to my deepest feelings in my subconscious. But this time it's really hard.
- Don't you remember all the promises I made? I told you that I would never let you go and you answered me that you would ever stand by my side. but you didn't!

My perspective changes to third person. I see how we are talking and talking. I can't hear what we are talking anymore. My view starts to fly, I see the talk from above. And suddenly one sentences got to my ears. "Take me back, it was my fault." It was the voice of HER. I've heard this sentences in nearly all my dreams, where she comes around . Instead of SHE kissing me and I getting upset and saying to her all the bad things she did to me, I kiss HER. I feel really guilty from my third perspective. I feel the kiss, it was cold, it didn't seem right. My other self and SHE went along together, I felt bad, so bad that I had the desire to throw up at both of them. BUT instead I disappeared through the ceiling.

[The next section contents sex, violence and bad language]


3 - 4.[SIZE=4] I'm driving a car through the night. I'm on the car park of the mall. I'm really upset about a thing I can't recall. a friend of mine sits on the passenger seat.

- Yo Yossarian, he said, don't drive that fast!
- Go fuck yourself, I say.

We are exiting the car park. I turn left to the exit lane. There is a traffic light where none should be. I brake and wait that it get's green. But it doesn't. The waiting is unbearable to me and I light a cigarette.

- Those bastards are going to kill me someday.

I open the window to my right. My friend starts coughing.
Suddenly two prostitutes run towards us.
- Oh shit!, my friend screams. Close the window, they are mistaking us for some clients. Drive backwards!

That's what I do. I drive backwards away from them. They seem really disappointed. Suddenly their pimp jumps up through a bush and starts demolishing the car with a baseball-bat.

- Oh noes, my friend laughs, Pimp-attack!
- that's not funny, the car was expensive

I don't remember what happens next but suddenly I'm in a room with a handful of soldiers

- My pals, the general said, today is victory day! As you know, we are going to win the annual war-games. This is the plan from today. You should ...

I don't listened to his talking. All I can think about is when was the last time I got laid. And the creepy man standing in the corner of the room. He's bold has bad teeth, a beard and has crazy eyes. He's smiling. It's like he can read my filthily thoughts. I shake my head.

- Everything clear now?, the general says.
- Yes sir, the group answers.

We go outside, But I and a captain go to another direction.
- Hey private, he says, we are launching our sneak attack!
- So it is, I lied.
I don't know what he was talking about. The scenery changes. We are in a bunker.
- I'll take a piss, I say and go to the restroom.

After doing my duty, I washed my hands. My teeth start aching suddenly and i open my mouth and look into the mirror. I see that my teeth are in bad shape, one molar has a hole, another vanishes before my eyes. I spit three molars out. I'm not happy about that. I talk a paper towel to press it against my molars. I want to gout of the room, but the creepy man from before jumps out of nowhere and says:

- That's my towel.

And he takes it from me and vanishes again. Perplexed I go out with a fresh towel.

In the bunker again, the captain is to be found nowhere. The outside door opens and he comes back in. He has a black eye.

- What happened?, I asked bluffed.
- I had a fight with a filthily girl.
-Why? What did you do?
- I tried to rape her.
- You did what?
- You heard right. But she didn't want to.
- Does that even amazes you?
- Yes, I always get what I want.
- Are you nuts or something?, I objected. If you wanted sex, go check a prostitute, they are everywhere.
- But I wanted her.
- Did you never try to talk to girls first? That's the way I do it: you talk, you befriend and than you fuck.
- That's too complicated. I wanted her now!

I shake my head. What a bastard, I think. I go outside to look after her.

She has a wound on her neck, some scratches too. I help her and make her a bandage. She is very delighted of it. She looks nice.

- I heard you are filthy, is this true?, I asked her.
I can't believe that this is true.
- Yes, you're right. I'm a filthy whore. Everyone can have me, do dirty things and so on. Except the captain, he is a bastard. He doesn't know how to talk to a girl.
- Yes I know. By the way, I'm going to say something but please don't be upset. It's just a proposition, you can accept it or refute it. No bad tricks.
- Ok, she said, go on.
- Do you want to have sex with me? I'm feeling horny now.
- Why not, she said, that's the only thing good that will happen today.
- I bet it will be.

And so we started and the dream finally faded