Agapito

In 1986, when I was 22, after graduating the year before from Florida International University with a degree in Fine Arts and moving to Boston, I passed through a difficult period of life, feeling a sense of hopelessness and deep despair. At the beginning of this period I had dream in which I saw a butterfly fluttering in my hand, and some kind of toxins spilled on it, and it died. In the midst of this time in which I felt spiritually dead, I had a dream….

Funeral Noel

In a dream, I watched my funeral,
surprised to see it seemed a festival.
The happy mourners sang, as I was witness,
around my coffin, “We wish you a merry Christmas!”

Soon after, in March, 1987, I had this transformative, life altering, unforgettable dream of God's touch…

I walked on a slightly curved path of stones and realized that I was in the front yard of my childhood home in Virginia, by the beech tree for which I had always felt a strong affinity. It was around my same age and like a brother to me.

I felt the presence of three versions of myself: in all the surroundings, the sincere, childhood freshness, newness of everything, simple rapture under the night sky; an older version of my self, as a teenager experiencing a first awakening to the mystery of life and consciousness in the universe but with no living knowledge of the world, of working and suffering; and finally my self as I was, a mess in a mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical sense. As with my beech tree in winter, all the leaves had fallen.

I (we) stood beside the tree, and suddenly I felt a Subtle Fire being placed around me as if by two invisible cupped hands that felt as though they had sprung into the moment from outside the universe. For the first time in so long, I felt healthy and whole. I jumped for joy to know that the touch of God's love can create life from abject destruction and death. I flew over the house and the trees in a beautiful springtime world full of colors, toward the forest I had explored as a child. Far below, on the side of the house, I saw a sign with writing and three faces. I felt that that these were pictures of family and that the words written were: this trip is sponsored by the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

dream archive, 1987