Dream Dream Dream Dream Dream Dream

IM STRUGGLIN. I should not have tried to set lucid dreaming goals during finals week...

Missed yesterday but now I'm back.

Dream
Shoot man I don't even know what was going on in this dream. Alright, so I'm in this odd underground area that sort of feels like a gaming map, and a long distance away I can see this teenage boy on the enemy team with a gun, aiming at something else. I'm behind cover (kinda looking through a window at him below), and I've got a gun too (some kind of modern, silver handgun) but I'm not completely sure I know how to use it.

Still, I decide to do my best: I leave cover and stand, holding the gun carefully with both hands at arm's length, aim down the sight, and start popping off shots at the teenage kid. The first few miss, but each time I'm correcting my aim a little, and the two-hand grip is helping me not get thrown off too badly by the recoil. The kid is starting to scramble as he realizes he's being shot at, when one of my shots hits him dead in the forehead and he goes down (with some gore, icky). I don't feel too bad about "killing" a teenager... it feels like a multiplayer shooter, except that I'm seeing the person and their character rolled into one.

I'm just proud of that moment, because I was being so careful and methodical rather than autopiloting. Progress!

Other parts of the dream (or a different dream) featured me inducing multiple pregnancies (and, a few days later, abortions) in myself because my sister wanted me to (and was doing the same thing, I think). Somehow it helped her out. I kept doing this until the more rational part of my brain caught up and I became legitimately concerned that the abortion pill wouldn't "work" somehow, and I'd be stuck with a pregnancy... and besides that, I wasn't sure how I felt about ending a potential human life, even if it was still only at the "potential" stage. Some part of me was wondering what color eyes and what kind of personality would've been represented by the exact combination of genes that I kept discarding (and combining more, and discarding).

Today's dreamsign is: knowing that I can shoot a kid without consequences (but I thought it was because I was in a game rather than a dream hmmmmmmmm ... I should do reality checks while gaming I think, maybe every time I do something that would normally have a consequence if it were real life).