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    It Ain't Lucidity

    3 Comments
    by
    atramentis
    , 01-12-2017 at 07:05 PM (718 Views)
    So last night I had a dream that I was lucid. Which really isn't the same thing as being lucid, and I refuse to be satisfied with this...

    The Sad Stone Harbor Dream
    So Stone Harbor is basically my favorite place in the world to be, and for whatever reason it's pretty common for me to dream that it's the last day of Stone Harbor and I'm wondering where all the time went and trying to figure out how I could've used it better.

    This time, I dreamed that mom was making me go to a soccer game on the last day of Stone Harbor, when what I really wanted was to be at the beach, in the sun. This made me so upset that I started crying, and ran upstairs... now I was in the 1319 house, heading for the balcony. I brushed past dad in the hallway, got to the balcony, and jumped off so that I could fly.

    This is where my thought process was a bit weird. Apparently, I believed that I was awake, but that by the time I got to the balcony, I would be dreaming, without having to fall asleep. At the same time, half of me was considering the possibility that I would simply plunge to my death off the balcony in my mistaken belief that I was dreaming. I was actually pretty surprised when I practically lifted off the balcony as soon as I stepped off it, and though I was happy to be flying rather than, y'know, dead, I was a bit confused as I tried to figure out when exactly reality had become a dream. Frustratingly enough, I completely discarded the possibility that the entire thing was a dream: I firmly believed that the frustrating soccer situation constituted "reality," but that I had somehow transitioned to dreaming at some point.

    So, I won't call it lucidity. Although I believed I was "dreaming," it didn't make any conscious sense. If I had been conscious, I would've realized that the entire thing was a dream, and that it's impossible to transition from awake to dreaming without falling asleep. It was like a nonsensical dream version of lucidity...

    Farther along in the dream, while I was trying to survive the local serial killer and his sadistic games, I straight-up thought to myself, "I'm dreaming," while flying. I even repeated it a few more times for good measure, trying to make it sink in... but c'mon. If I'd been actually lucid, I would've realized that I could've blown up the serial killer with a thought, instead of my only ability being flying.

    I want to be awake in a dream. I'm barely even awake in real life...
    Verre and RelaxAndDream like this.

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    Categories
    non-lucid

    Comments

    1. Verre's Avatar
      When I first saw the title I thought "Sad Stone Harbor" was the name of a place, until I read further and saw that you were using "sad" as an adjective. But "Sad Stone Harbor" is such a wonderfully evocative name! I want it to be a real place... or at least a dream place.

      And while it can be frustrating to not quite recognize that one is dreaming, it sounds like you're almost all the way there! Moreover, I think it is valuable to practice analyzing your mental states so carefully. Your standards are high, which is a good thing, but lucidity often comes in shades or layers, and there's probably always room for improvement, so it sounds like you were semi-lucid at the very least. In your second encounter, when you told yourself "I'm dreaming," it sounds like you really did recognize it on some level, even if you didn't realize the different ways that would enable you to deal with the situation.
    2. RelaxAndDream's Avatar
      hey there good progress i think!
      all i can remember i never had a dream of lucidity where i was not lucid. i often had this "oh is this a dream [failed dreamcontrol]" and keep on non lucid but i always asked myself how it would be to dream of beeing lucid instead of beeing lucid^^

      i would call your dream semi lucid too
    3. atramentis's Avatar
      Thanks guys <3

      I agree, I think names of places that have actual descriptors of the mood there would be quite nice...

      The thing is, I've had fully lucid dreams before... ones where I was able to recognize that I could do anything if I could just trick my own mind into accepting it as possible. I've also had times where I was able to use lucid powers, but wasn't actually lucid, and I would categorize those as simply being dreams of lucid powers (since one can dream of anything). I do think that my attempt at lucidity here was... pretty good? But not great. I'm craving that feeling of power when I really know that I'm awake while asleep and can turn my dream into whatever I want it to be.