Bennerman's Dream Journal

Had this dream where my doppelganger was eating the souls of tulpae. It was weird, because every time he killed a tulpa, a credit sequence (like the end of a video game) scrolled over a fractal in my vision.


When I opened my eyes, I was sitting up. I didn't wake up and then sit up. I woke up from the dream IN a sitting position.

No idea what it means.

I was visiting Portugal or something, and got separated from my mom. It was weird because everyone was speaking Portuguese and Italian, but all of the influences and people were Asian.

Semi-nightmarish:

Watching TV while talking on the DV webchat. An episode of How I Met Mother is on where Ted and Robin are both going to therapists about dreaming. What scares the shit out of me is, when Robin realizes she is dreaming, everything got really loud and really slow. An episode of Friends came on that was the exact same. When I woke up, I was too scared to get out of bed. >.<

For some reason the loud slowness always scares me.

Was on a computer. Had a weird dream involving an odd Batman Game, that morphed into a weird top-down MMO. I switched between that and talking on a chat every so often.

Dream 2:

I stabbed a bunch of really long toothpicks into myself because I didn't want my clothes touching me (think putting a bunch of toothpicks into a cake so the plastic-wrap doesn't touch the icing). Taking them out got messy. We then went to go get subway. I created my sandwich out of thin air. My brother told me that it made no sense, and my sandwich disappeared. Rather than realize I was dreaming, I just got mad at him for "making my imaginary food disappear".

Have non-lucid:
Looking on a weird question and answer site. One of the questions I asked is supposedly from the night I tried to kill myself, but the date is wrong: August 10th, 2009. I am begging for help as I am overdosing, and the only answer is an automated response about how suicide is bad. In my brother's room. Other than that, there is activity in the house, so it isn't that scary. Wake up. Check for False Awakening, but the check succeeds, and I realize I really am awake. Go back to sleep.

First lucid:

It starts as a documentary about some gangster. It says that the gangster called for backup, because the cops were raiding him. I become one of the cops, and a gunfight ensues. I then realize I am dreaming. "Sounds like fun", I think to myself, and start shooting. For some reason, the situation slowly changes into a western, with the cars turning into horses and the pistols turning into revolvers. I decide to ride away and explore. I find a Native American village, and hang out there... quietly killing randoms. I wake up.

Lucid Nightmare:

I look at my fingers to do a reality check, and I am very disturbed to find that one of my fingers is 95% torn off, and is loosely hanging off the middle knuckle. I accept that I am dreaming, OR may be having some weird medical emergency. I go downstairs and notice the drink I asked for sitting on the table. I try to leave the house, but the door is locked. I look above the door to a sign saying something like "You will pay for what you have done, and you will NEVER leave." I realize this is a dream, and I try to make myself wake up, but I can't. I try to call my tulpa but the words won't come out. I turn around, terrified, and look in the mirror. There's two of me. One matches my actions, but the other just sits there, grinning at me. My dog walks over and barks at where the other me WOULD be if he occupied physical space, before looking as though he is in a trance.



The next part is disturbing, so don't read on if you can't stomach it.



The dog walks over to me, knocks me over and then rapes me. That's the last I remember before I wake up.





WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED THERE?!

Was at a former friends house with my brother. When the former friemd came back, i hid. He found me and we reconciled.

Odd, very vivid dream.

I went to the grocery store with my dad and bought a crapload of stuff. This odd fictional episode of American Dad, where Roger had this Elephant gun. Went back to the store again. Came back, a rerun of the same episode came on.

Crazy-ass mental trip, wherein I would be in the kitchen talking on the webchat, only to open my eyes and be in bed. This happened about 5 times, after only an hour of sleeping.

Will type more as I remember.

Seems to have been triggered by malt liquor, of all things. I know I was drinking Colt 45 the day of that lucid.

I had 4 False Awakenings in this dream. I became lucid on the 3rd, and retained it through to the 4th:

Wake up in my own bed. I don't remember anything prior to this, so this is probably where my dream started. I hear people calling me from downstairs, but I'm in a bad mood from my waking life, so I ignore them. It sounds more and more desperate, but I persist; if it's THAT important, they can come up and get me. I know this is a dream because they didn't. Try to go back to sleep.

Wake up in my own bed once more. I have a smoke in my room and go downstairs, leaving the light on and closing the door behind me, because it's early, and I didn't want to wake up my mom. Go downstairs and see the Easter Chocolate on the table (my parents still give us some chocolate at Easter, but don't make us look for it anymore). Look at the card, it's from my dad, and says "I owe you 80 dollars." Huh? I look up the stairs to see light. Damn, my cat opened my door (Which isn't TOO weird, my cats can do that in waking life). Have huge fight with mom, she says she hates me, etc. etc. etc.

Wake up third time. At my dad's old house, in his room. Of all things, a silhouette of Ghastley from pokemon is clouding my vision. Realize this makes no sense, therefore, I must be dreaming. I flinch at the incoming nightmare (all of my dreams become nightmares when I realize I am dreaming), but it never comes. I rub my hands together to stabilize. I go downstairs, and the house is empty. I go into the kitchen. Everything looks like it is normal, except for the kitchen, where the space between the counter-top and the bottom of the cupboards is far too low. Don't remember what happened, but something woke me up...

...In my dad's old bedroom again. Retain lucidity. Start rubbing my hands together and feeling the blanket I am holding to keep myself there. Decide to parkour over the railing instead of walking downstairs. It works alright, but I fell too fast (somehow I expected gravity would be slower, but it wasn't. Still a good landing, though.) My brother is on the computer with two girl friends. Say I've never met them before, and ask for their names. I don't remember what they responded with, but I remarked that (A) looked like one of my brother's IRL male friends. There's nothing noteworthy about (B). I ask my brother if I can trust him, and he says yes. For some reason, I am hesitant to tell him, but then I explain that I am dreaming. Brother and (B) both laugh at me. (A) says nothing. I say "whatever, I'm going to get food." As I walk into the kitchen, (A) says something along the lines of "If I were dreaming, I'd use ice to stabilize. Simulates the sense of touch." I turn around and look at her, confused, and she gives me this understanding wink, as though we had some form of rapport. I smile at her, realizing she is the only one who knows this is a dream, too. I walk over to the freezer, and she shouts "Chili tastes good in dreams." (I don't know either) and grab some ice. I rub it on my arm, and I feel nothing. I ask "am I supposed to feel anything?". "Not yet", she responds, or something like that. I think a few more things happened, and then I woke up.

1st question: Is it possible (A) is a dream guide of some sort? Kinda confused by her presence, as I could SWEAR I've seen (B) before in waking life, but (A) seems as though she was created for the dream. Sorry, I'm tired, and rambling at this point.

2nd. Anyone get headaches from lucid dreams? All of my other lucids have lasted less than 30 seconds, but this was almost 20 minutes, and I woke up with a headache. And I never actually WAKE UP with a headache. Usually if I am going to have a morning headache, it'll happen 30 minutes after waking up, but this time I woke into the headache.

Thanks for reading