Brienne

Wow, a lucid dream inside of a non lucid dream! Cool! Actually it was a shared dream. There were malevolent spirits of some kind that would come and force people into nightmares. People in the same room put under by the same spirit shared the nightmare. They weren't random nightmares. The spirits were trying to communicate something. I don't know what.

During one of these nightmares I held onto the understanding that I was dreaming. There was a woman in great emotional agony and I wanted toh elp her. I made a gun appear in my hand and I shot her to wake her up. Somehow this gave everyone the power to leave the dream.

I woke up to dream layer one. There was a large group of people; a class, I guess. Apparently the teacher had told the class that once we finally escape the nightmares we'll have a party. I was supposed to have brought dessert but I had nothing with me. I ran downstairs to the food court to find dessert. Meanwhile irl there's a construction crew outside. I encorporated their racket into my dream by interpreting it as the sound of a blender in the food court. Shortly thereafter I woke up for real.

Sorry for my absence. Things have been hectic for me of late. I've been helping Phillip prepare to move into his new house while also moving myself.

~~~
Here's Aug. 7. It's called The Great Turkey Liberation Operation.

I had some more nightmares. This time focused on Mom and Lloyd. But there was one incredibly vivid dream. The one right before waking.

We were driving to Dad's. Mom had a boyfriend and he was horrible. Possibly abusive. His car had two sunroofs but they were covered up. Lloyd and I exposed them and opened them. He was extremely angry.

We stopped in Vtown for gas. Mom was in the front and Lloyd and I were in the back. I have no idea why but there was a wild turkey that belonged to Mom's boyfriend. His pet, maybe. Or perhaps dinner.

Mom motioned for me to get in the front. "Really?" I whispered. She nodded. Quickly I did so. I was wearing shoes I couldn't comfortably drive in so I took them off as quickly as possible. I locked the doors and took off. It was a chase scene for a while when he got in his other car (which he somehow had at the gas station). It was a white SUV with black trim. Eventually we lost him. It was quite exciting if stressful and frightening.

Mom left the dream at some point. We arrived at my Grandparents' old farm and it was just me, Lloyd, and the turkey. By this time we had a plan to set the turkey free in the woods. There were new people living on the farm and farm workers scattered about.

I held the turkey as we ran to the barn. We knew Mom's boyfriend would get here eventually. The bird was calm and easy to hold. We went through the barn, which was multiple levels and a little hard to navigate, and ran into some workers just before sliding through a tiny door toward the back. "If a man comes looking for us," I said to them, "don't tell him where we went.

At this point I remember vividly making sure the turkey felt safe and comfortable. It was hiding its head under my chin and her feathers were soft and downy. I was concerned for her because she didn't know what was happening and would likely feel abandoned. In the end, though, she'd be happier free in the forest with a flock and a family.

We hopped down a level and through the final exit to the middle meadow, as Grandpa used to call it, running the whole way. We went to the woods on the north side of the field--and here's where things get *really* vivid.

There were so many wild flowers on the hillside by the forest where the bushhog couldn't go. There was a patch of lavender colored wild irises--or perhaps giant violets. I thought, "We should bring Mom a bouquet on the way back." There were white and yellow flowers on vines low to the ground and they smelled sweet and light. I looked for one of my favorite species with a similar but more powerful scent, but I found none.

We stopped at the top of a small but very steep hill at the edge of the forest. There was barbed wire to contend with and this spot had the most room beneath the lowest line. Lloyd lifted up the wire and slid down the hill on his back. I was worried about the turkey and we tried to find a way to pass it over the fence, but it was too impractical and we were short on time. Carefully I flattened myself against the ground and protected the turkey best I could from the wire and the sudden stop at the bottom. We slid down and it was fine.

There was one more barbed wire fence to get through if we wanted to leave the turkey near the creek where it could drink. I don't remember passing through this fence but I know it was easier and there was no hill. We left the turkey safe and sound and headed back toward the meadow.

Going back up the hill and under the fence was harder. There was a coil of barbed wire at the top and I pricked myself several times but was mostly unscathed. Lloyd followed. We tore off back to the barn in the hopes of crossing the valley to Dad's house before Mom's boyfriend found us, but it was too late. With the barn in sight we watched his white SUV pull up by the gate.

We got in the car. He was livid, of course. He talked of going through the woods and killing every turkey he met 'till he found his. But we drove off to--somewhere. Somewhere back in Vtown, I think.

In front of Mom he apologized to us and said he loved us. I was furious and said, "Fuck you. I'm out." I gathered up my things that would fit in a backpack and Lloyd did the same. We decided it was Mom's decision if she wanted to stay with him but we didn't have to. We'd be hiking the whole way to Dad's farm so we packed ponchos in case it rained.

Lloyd and I set out through the town, the meadows, and the forest, toward freedom and safety, never to return.

~~~
Aug. 8, 2010
I had sex with Phillip. Don't remember much of it. I was disappointed when I woke up not because it was a good dream that was over but because in the dream I went though all of the emotional preparation and effort I'm usually cause myself when I have sex, and I knew I intended to have sex with Phillip irl that day. I didn't want to have to go through it again.

Earlier dream: Phillip was trying to make an ice cream Sunday at DQ. He wasn't doing a very good job of it.

~~~
Aug 10, 2010

Remember very little. I moved into Robby's house yesterday (irl) and things have been hectic. Missed yesterday's entry entirely.

I remember one brief weird scene. There were chickengs. I wanted to go make friends with them. But they were scared and kept running away. I kneeled down and opened my palm to a less frightened one. He slowly approached me and was Phillip hunched over and squatting down. In the dream I still considered it a chicken. and didn't know anything was weird. He poked my hand a few times, hugged me, and we both fell over and play-wrestled a little on the ground.

I talked to one of the older chickens (an old man with glasses) about making friends with his flock. He said humans just want to teach them things. They bring books and make the chickens read. I said I didn't want to do that and I wasn't even sure chickens were capable of learning to read. One chicken said she knows she's not capable because she needs new glasses.

~~~