nightmare

Lights out at 1:35AM. At 4:13 the cat woke me up and I wrote this:

A train. Packing. Fear. Playing something on the computer. Train goes between states off consciousness? Maybe. Can't remember. I'm a little girl and I'm scared. I'm all the DC's. Or at least two. The little girl's afraid of me. Should she be? Maybe. Where am I taking her on the train? Have to hurry--the road closes at night. Levels. Of what?

At 8:38 the other cat woke me and I wrote this: Drinking with Lloyd in Mtown, then driving to Dad's along the river in my old convertible. Stopped at a playground along the way. The slide was made of wood. Dad's house was different. Much bigger. Sharon had something painted on the back of her brown dress. It was for work. I felt anxious and wanted to be alone. I ran through the house to the back room and shut the door. But Lloyd followed me. He was trying to convince me to come out and socialize and he got ever more condescending about it. He just wouldn't stop. Eventually I was in tears and though the cat *was* trying to get my attention what woke me was the sound of my own voice when I yelled aloud, "Just leave me alone!"