° ceq's Lucid World °

april, 2010

Nighttime, I find myself walking in a path through high hills and some mountains, I see a refuge, a mountain shelter or something like that, the lights inside are on and I can notice some people motion; I move to that way and I walk in: i'm in a pub, two big rooms at my left and right side, many boys and girls sat at the tables sipping their drinks. On a table, between other young people, I see a girl, a dear friend of mine and colleague and I think: “ ah, she's here too!”...i start to observe through people to see if I find someone else I know, but the only familiar person's just my friend who's talking with girls; she sees me and comes to me, and maybe a bit dunk because of some beers she comes closer staggering, she grabs the collar of my coat to leave it right after and seems she's moving out but she says me to follow her and she adds she wants to give herself..! “You wouldn't do this in real life, I would like too in this moment but I think it could bother you if I use you like this..” (unnecessary paranoia, a dream's just a dream, an elaborate perception of one's thoughts, but that moment I was feeling such a sense of respect and friendship for her that I kept refusing!) At this point she says she wants stay in the car; I got there on foot, it doesn't occur to me to fly, so I think my car is not far from us, I picture it in my mind and instantly I teleport myself in front of it. “Good” I think, “now I leave so she cannot reach me” but she appears soon after so as other people from the pub. I think “ok, I'll take her under my control”. I could easily run away from that situation, I knew I could but I did want to be clear with that friend-mental projection, and I would have told her the next day i'd have seen her, proving her my respect...i quickly teleport myself in the car, directly founding myself with seat-belt on and my hands on the wheel, I don't even have time to go that my friend sits next to me, insisting she wanna give herself, again; she's taking of her coat, with seat-belt still on...so at this point I get it off and I make her vanish! I turn the car on and I star driving not planning where to go but I keep thinking what's just happened, doubts start coming up! “ was it really good for her? Was it worth it that I refused her to show respect, even if in a dream...? ” then i've had enough and I wake up.