Delenn's dream journal

With the school semester behind me, and Thanksgiving over (finally), I had some brain energy to devote to dreaming.

I attempted WBTB last night. It failed to produce a lucid dream, but I did remember 3 dreams during the night. That's better than things have been recently. Often times I just fall into bed and don't remember my dreams at all. I have 2 days off coming up, so I will try again then.

I haven't been paying attention to dreaming much lately. Life has been getting busier. But last night I thought, "I'm going to lucid dream." And I did! It was a little different from other LDs I've had; there was no point at which I consciously thought, "I'm dreaming!" I just gradually became more aware. It was a very long dream.

I was part of a group of people who had to recapture some kind of relic from an underground place. It was being held by enemies of some kind, maybe orcs. I see it--a small glowing thing--on a ledge about 50 feet away. We manage to sneak by the orcs and capture the relic. Suddenly Sarek of Vulcan appears. I say something like, "Sarek, it's an honor to have your here." He replies, "Your name is no less esteemed." (Seems like a very Sarek thing to say.) I get the impression that we are doing a good job on our missions vs. the bad guys.

We casually walk out of the place without anyone stopping us. We might've had disguises; I don't remember. Just as we're going through some large double doors, there's an uproar behind us. One of the group, a white woman, shoots up in the air and starts flying. I think for a second that, "Whoa, she just did that. Maybe I can too." So we leave all our bags behind and just shoot up in the air. It was around this time that I became lucid. I was thinking that my dream-flying was different from any other time I've done it, that I was more "floaty". I was really enjoying myself. I thought about how I was really lying in bed, and I knew I was starting to wake up. I focused on the face of the woman beside me, in an attempt to stabilize the dream. I don't know her face. The stabilization works, and I stay asleep!

Later we are in a shopping area, a cute strip mall or something. I think, "I want my backpack." (The one I left behind.) I hold out my hand and make it appear beneath me! This is another 'first' for me. I felt like Q from Star Trek, making something appear just by willing it to happen! Later we are in a different shopping area. I remember the pumpkin challenge for October. There's one pumpkin right in front of me, but it's already broken open and there is trash inside. I go looking for another pumpkin. There's a nice orange one. I plan on using my hand to cut it open, but then I think, "This isn't my pumpkin.. maybe I should ask if I can cut it open." I smile at this person, a black woman. I ask if I can open the pumpkin and she says yes. But at that time the dream abruptly ends.

I have some funny dream logic. What do I need with bags in a dream, anyway? And do I really need permission to open a pumpkin in my own dream? Silly brain.

I'm walking around my mom's house. I'm naked. I think, "Why am I naked? This isn't right. I'm dreaming!" I think about my body lying in bed. I have the odd sensation of being both horizontal and vertical at the same time. I wake up.

Though it was short, I'm taking this as encouragement! Lucid dream #4.

I took last night "off" from attempting to remember my dreams and lucid dream. I don't think I sleep as well when I do that. I was headache-y and just not feeling good as a result. I did remember one dream from last night anyway--I dreamed I was a member of SG-1 (from the show "Stargate SG-1"). Sam Carter and Jack O'Neill were there. We were talking about getting the team back together. I'm excited about the idea, but say that I would need some training. I've been out of action for a while.

I was happy to get a good night's rest, though this came at the cost of dream progress. I'm not willing to sacrifice the quality of my sleep, at least on a constant basis. I'm also not willing to sleep much more than usual. I have a lot to do in waking life! I do not want to give up on lucid dreaming though, by any means.

I talked with my husband. Turns out he's actually a really talented lucid dreamer. (I'm not sure why we haven't talked about it before.) He suggested I get *really* specific about my dream goals. Instead of saying, "I want to say hello to someone", I should decide who I want to meet, where we're going to be, what clothes we will be wearing, etc. Every detail I can think of. He suggested I say "Hello" to Carl Sagan, and then ask him for his apple pie recipe!!! I love that man so much. (My husband. Oh, and Carl Sagan.)

I have tomorrow off, so I can sleep in. Time for some dreaming!

I had several non-lucid dreams. None particularly memorable, but I did observe something interesting about how I dreamed. I remembered one dream fragment, and one lengthy dream before my WBTB alarm went off. This tells me that lucid dreaming is possible before WBTB because obviously I was already having dreams. I had some other dreams after my actual wake-up alarm, but I don't remember them. I also hit my snooze a few times, and each time I drifted into a short dream. These are more lucid opportunities, supposing I extended my "snooze" to 20 or 30 minutes.

I've been contemplating why I want to lucid dream. "Because it's cool" is not a good enough reason; plenty of things are cool and do not require so much time and effort. I think the answer may lie in just wanting to be more observant and aware at all times, including my dreams. I have always had a fascination with the freedom that lucid dreaming offers, too. Why do you lucid dream?

I read the October dream challenges. I'm hoping to accomplish at least #1: finding a pumpkin and seeing what's inside.

For some reason I want to try to lucid dream again. I thought about it a few days ago. That evening I had a lucid dream! I was pretty excited to have one after months or years of not thinking about lucid dreaming at all. I got to fly, and I kissed someone. Heh!

One interesting point is that the evening of my lucid dream, I was woken up at 5am by an Amber Alert on my phone. It was very loud and I woke up very abruptly. My lucid dream came after I fell back asleep.

I used this information the next night: I set an alarm for 5 hours after I went to bed. It did not work (I had no lucid dreams), but I will keep experimenting with this idea.

I have started my paper dream journal again. My dream recall is improving already. I also read about the All Day Awareness method (ADA)-- basically becoming more aware in my every day life, and thereby becoming more aware when I am dreaming. In this way the entire day becomes one big reality check. As I am a beginner I decided to focus on just one sense at a time--sense of smell, sense of sight, etc. Sense of smell is especially difficult for me because I don't think I have a very good sense of smell.

My goals right now are:
1. Lucid dream again.
2. Say hello to someone in that lucid dream. This is a modest goal, but honestly I can't recall ever purposely speaking to someone in a lucid dream. I am naturally a quiet person so this doesn't surprise me. I think just speaking aloud will be a good first step.
3. Increase awareness in my every day life.

I am going to start keeping track of how many lucid dreams I've had. I know I've had at least 5 in the past, but because I can't recall exactly how many, I'm just going to start the count over at 1.

Not many dreams lately -- life has been interfering with getting regular sleep. When I got to sleep at 5am.. interestingly, I don't remember any dreams. :p

Had 2 dreams last night that I remember. I wrote them down and don't really feel like re-typing them ATM. Sorry to be lame. I just want to keep a little online momentum going so I don't forget about this website. Cheers and good luck to you all as you dream tonight (or the next night, as your time zone permits).

I remember 2 dreams from last night.

The first wasn't particularly memorable, though I did manage to wake up and write it down. It was still dark at the time.

The second was a lengthy "frustration" dream. I have started classifying certain dreams as "frustration dreams" because that's what they're about.. situations in which I can't do whatever I'm trying to do. I try and try and try, and get thwarted no matter what I do. Well, this dream was extra lengthy and varied in the ways it frustrated my dream self, and it was a pretty lousy way to wake up. I must have been dreaming for the last hour of an 8-hour period. Luckily I was able to go back to sleep for another 2 hours and sleep off the crappy mood.

I believe the frustration dreams echo the deep frustration I have experienced during the past year (in my waking life).

Anyway, on the plus side, I did wake up and write down both dreams, so that was good paper-dream-journal practice.

I was on the edge of lucidity during the first dream, but wasn't quite there. Maybe tonight.

I often dream of writing in my (paper) dream journal, just after waking up. I am mostly asleep but thinking that I should be writing. I keep my journal and a pen right next to my bed so that I can write my dreams down right away. But often it is dark, or I am really tired and don't feel like writing.

So today I again dreamed that I had written down my dreams, but actually did not.

I only remember this:
There were 5 people sitting in desks (school desks, perhaps), in a circle, facing one another. I'm in this circle. But I don't remember what I was doing.

Conclusion: I need to find a flashlight and put it by the bed. I also need to make a greater effort to wake up and write.

10/19/10
Dr. B from college is with me. He is acting weird. At one point he is sitting behind me, and he keeps touching my waist and leg. I find it weird but don't try to stop him. My (real life) husband is with me, I think. Dr. B gives me a little packet of rolled-up notebook scraps, tied with twist-ties. He leaves. I open one of these scraps. It says something about love on it. I say to my husband, "He's in love with me." Husband says, "I know." We sort of shrug with a 'that's weird' sort of attitude. Later Dr. B is talking about a paper-writing competition that I should enter. I say I wouldn't know what to write about. He says I just need to build off this other paper I wrote about religion and culture.
I say that I've started composing a song (on the piano) for the competition to go with my submission. (The song is actually Mariage D'amour by Clayderman, which I learned to play a few weeks ago.) There are two pianos here. My mother is playing the full-size one. The other's keyboard is very short, maybe only 1 1/2 octaves. I wonder to myself if I will have enough room. I try it and determine I need the full-size piano. I ask my mom if I can play the song. She says yes. I sit down and start playing. I struggle. I don't quite remember the notes. Eventually I can play a little of the song. (I am playing without sheet music.) Dr. B is there now. I am hoping to impress him but he doesn't pay much attention to my playing. He is walking around me with cups and champagne (?) saying, "[She] has not yet agreed to marry me."

At one point I am saying to him that I'm not sure I've ever written a truly good paper. He responds with not-quite-reassurance.. something about how when he gets a whole class-full of papers something in them must be good.

There's another scene where I am with some women (friends?), describing my encounter with a blonde woman. This person was a religious fanatic. I was talking to her as research for my paper. This woman said something like "I hate all niggers and jews." And I asked her, "This is because of your religion?" And she says yes. I am acting out this exchange for my women friends and acting really obnoxious when I am playing the bigot woman. Dr. B says that I asked the right questions.

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Commentary:
I don't recall ever before having a dream in which I play piano. That's really interesting. (I've played piano since I was 7 years old.)

The Dr. B love stuff might just be day residue because I was reading about King Henry IV on Wikipedia last night, and he was a huge philanderer and had a zillion mistresses.

Interesting that my mom made an appearance too, and that she was playing piano. (She does play piano in real life.) All I saw was the back of her head, though. She had brown hair, not quite shoulder length. She has gray in her hair now, though, which was not in the dream.

10/17/10
My dreaming was pretty intense.

At one point I was in a bed. There's a female with me, a friend, I think. I cannot see. Then I am aware of several males around me. They are pinching me, hard. I do not like it. I squirm away. I know that the female friend has arranged this. I am betrayed. Somehow I can see again. I am angry. The friend says something like, "Come on, it's not like was going to let them rape you or something." I have the leg of a chair. I start whacking people in the head and neck. I succeed in hitting some of them and they all go away.

Not sure what quite happened next.

This may be a separate dream-- not sure -- but then I was with 2 friends, one in a wheel chair. We are trying to find a car. One large white sedan appears.. it has three seats across the front, plenty of room. But when we get in it later it only has 2 seats.

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Commentary:
Something significant about the first part of the dream is that I fought people and actually landed blows, and perhaps even won the fight. Usually when I am fighting I can't land a punch or other blow, and I definitely lose the fight.

I also remember detail about the table leg I used-- it was similar to the legs of the small chairs from my mom's house. Tan color, with rounded ridges. Maybe 18 inches long.

There were 5 males and 1 female (the friend).

I didn't recognize any of them from my waking life. I don't remember much about what they looked like, actually.