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    View JadeGreen's Dream Journal

    Recent Entries

    Lust, Ink and Answers

    by JadeGreen on 10-08-2020 at 01:40 PM
    Spoiler for NSFW Sex:


    -+-

    In dream I was at work and I had a small tattoo on my left arm. In dark blue ink I had a dreamcatcher on my bicep and it was wrapped in plastic wrap. I couldn't remember why I had gotten it or how I had made it through (IRL I'm terrified of needles) but nevertheless I was showing it off.

    -+-

    Manei and I met in what seemed like a restaurant kitchen. She is telling me about a date she went on that went badly, that she saw some guy and he didn't like her. I don't remember her exact dialogue but she complained that the guy kept telling her she was too tall and looked too skinny from the side.

    "First of all, that sounds really shallow. Second of all, this is a lucid dream, can't you look however you want?"

    "Well of course I could. How one wants to express their truest self in a [plane of existence where such things are malleable, (this part was in dreamspeak and didn't translate, as is everything else in this convo in brackets)] is a form of self expression that nobody should deny or try to change, ever. If someone doesn't love you for who you really are then that's their problem not yours. I mean having an opinion is one thing but you shouldn't be a dick about it. But he didn't think that and thats why I didn't agree to a second date."

    We left the kitchen and were at a fancy beachside resort at twilight. It had a tall hotel tower with a lot of balconies and large pool. There was a long sidewalk with dwarf palm trees on both sides leading out onto the beach. There were two suns, one smaller than the other and the big ringed Saturn planet so this must have been that dream planet. She asked me how my 'date' went and for some reason implied the earlier dream.

    "Well it wasn't much of a date, not much emotional bonding." I said openly sharing the memories of the prior dream. "The guy finished in about 5 seconds, and he was wearing spongebob underwear."

    She abruptly changes the subject. We sit down together in a large net hammock.

    "I was born in [Either Hawaii or Southern California on some other timeline, so don't bother looking for me in records]. I got sick when I was about 12, and died when I was about 18 or 20. I never got to go out and meet people and fall in love. Even when I was at the end, when I so weak could barely move, the doctors would bring me out in a wheelchair or a bed to watch the sunrise in the beach and would tell me that I was smiling. When I passed the higher ups gave me a lot of choices since I had a short life and didn't get a chance to do what I wanted. I chose to do this, to live on as a fragment of someone else. Its one of the few ways I could keep my individuality and most of my memories."

    "You know I can't truly believe that. It's hard to believe you're anything but a fragment of my own consciousness trying to justify its reason for existence."

    "Science and physics as you know them does not explain everything, you know that. Its intentional, the higher ups intentionally constructed your plane of existence that way. They wanted it to be so convoluted and difficult to comprehend that humans wouldn't bother to try but yet you try anyways. Right now I think humans of your earth are close to some big breakthrough but the Higher ups aren't ready for you to make it yet, thats why they put that virus in there, to distract you."

    "Here's the part I never understood. Why would god or the higher ups or whatever hide his true presence?"

    "They told me but I can't comprehend or understand either. [Think like what Marcus said. The difference between a monkey and a human. Their cells and bodies are 99% the same but that 1% is the difference between a monkey that can break a nut with a rock and a human that can build a spaceship that flies to the moon.

    The Higher ups are like just a few more percent, because to them we are monkeys looking up at the moon and not even understand it as a place you can go. Try as a might you cannot explain to a monkey how a rocket or particle accelerator works or the complex political and scientific reasons you want to build them. The monkey will just ask why you didn't spend that time getting food or having sex. Your motivations are so complex compared to them that they might as well be nonsense. Sometimes its seems like they are hurting you causing disasters and pain and killing humans. When someone who is Cristian says "the lord works in mysterious ways" they are not just trying to make an excuse why bad things happen when their god should be watching over and protecting them. Well... sometimes they are, but what they really mean to say is this.

    You can not believe anything else I ever tell you but please believe this. Those higher beings are out there, you can call them aliens or gods or visitors from other universes; they don't really care what we call them but they exist.]


    "Okay." I respond. I can tell the dream is destabilizing and I put my arm around her shoulder, feeling how solid it is. "Daymn, gurl. Your shoulder feels like steel." I say, completely shifting the tone of the conversation. She laughs and despite my attempts to stabilize the dream fades out.
    Categories
    lucid , non-lucid

    Video Project, Diary Leaks, Xenomorph in the Basement

    by JadeGreen on 10-05-2020 at 12:33 PM
    I am assigned a project in a class in high school or college. For the project I am assigned to make a TV show in one weekend though it doesn't have to be high quality. Everything has all the hallmarks of very ammeter filmmaking. I pick out a few classmates. One is this korean girl, another looks like Jak and another is this elderly woman with one eye sticking out who looks like an old witch or shaman. (She actually looked like a character from a recent chapter of my book.) We get to talking and decide we decide to make a cop show, and I'm going to be a filmer/cameraman and everyone else will play characters.

    Episode 1:

    We get some policeman costumes, buy a box of doughnuts and ask actual police officers to film outside the station. Idr what happened here but Jak and another boy who had joined the project were sitting outside eating doughnuts and talking about a recent crime. The scene ended on a dick joke.

    Episode 2:

    The Korean girl is filming a scene where she is a private investigator hacking a companies' computers for signs of corruption. This was her scene idea and its super tropey (black hoodie, dark room, eating cheetos, like five monitors and her saying "I'm in" after typing on a keyboard super fast for like thirty seconds.). We spent a lot of time getting things set up the way she wanted it.

    Episode 3:

    Some kind of murder mystery and me (who was normally the director/filmer) got to guest star as the filmer. We filmed on my phone which we taped to the ceiling and applied a filter to make it look like security camera and Jak wearing a robber mask shot me with a nerf gun. Then cut to the old witch woman wearing a sherlock holmes outfit looking at me pretending to know forensics and me laying on the floor in a puddle of ketchup. (IIRC she just looked old but was actually a teenager)

    Episode 4:

    We went from a cop show to a cooking show. I was in the classroom where the dream started but it was now a kitchen, washing a big silver bowl and talking about what food I was going to make.


    ...

    Someone found one of my old sketchbooks. They proceeded to publish all of the worst/most awkward or embarrassing things out of it online and make a detailed wiki more or less with the intention of slander. (Though they were supposedly some kind of semi legitimate media outlet they were clearly doing it just for story.) They constructed a detailed report about my characters and stories obviously cherrypicking specific scenes and lines of dialogue out of context in an effort to make me appear racist and bigoted. I remember seeing a drawing I made of myself as a cowboy shooting someone (that I actually made IRL, in like the 5th grade) and him saying that because of that drawing I was a school shooter. Then another drawing of dream characters where the article went on to say I was bad at drawing faces and had psychological problems because I associated with dream character. (This drawing was not one I made irl)

    I then ended up running into the head writer in a wal-mart parking lot at night and asked him why he did it. I told him if he didn't write an article telling the truth and admitting that he just did it for story, and post it on his website with a video of him and his writers apologizing that I would try and sue. He just laughed at me so I went to wal-mart and bought a sledgehammer and took it to his yellow Bentley. When he came back with his friends started crying saying it was a gift from his father who died. Obviously I didn't care cause the guy was an asshole.


    ...

    I was in the basement of my old house playing video games with a friend (IDR which friend if it was an IRL one or an OTD one). He was playing halo and got attacked by a xenomoprh came out and jump scared him then killed him in game. Then it broke through the glass of the TV and came out in real life, and started eating him. I wasn't particularly scared in spite of it being a gory scene but I still ran upstairs and tried to get outside. I ran past my father who was confused and seeing him caused me to become lucid.

    I was still running and a quick glance over my shoulder showed me the xeno coming out the door and it had killed my father. Now lucid, I saw a useless construction in the middle of the yard. It was like a big ramp and set of walls made out of random scrap plywood and 2x4s and stuff. I affirmed that when I got around it there would be something to help me fight back. When I did I found it was an open suit of power armor and a railgun rifle. (It looked just like one I currently have in my WIP drawing folder) I got inside and all the panels closed sealing me in. I could still see normally but I had a HUD now with a radar and health bar like you do in Halo. Movement felt slightly sluggish but very strong.

    The Xenomorph caught up with me and tried to kill me by vomiting dark green acid on me. The HUD gave me a warning saying not to exit due to chemical hazard but said that the armor was made of nonreactive metal and acid resistant and the threat level was "low". The xenomorph tried to stab me with a scythe appendage but it just deflected off the armor; though it pushed me back some. I punched it back, which seemed to crack parts of its exoskeleton and hurt it pretty badly, causing it to bleed more acid. I then managed to grab hold of its tounge thingy (the little inside mouth thingy xenomorphs have) and pull it out. As the monster recoiled I picked up the railgun rifle and pulled the trigger.

    Nobody told me that thing was fully automatic with a machinegun-like rate of fire. One short burst and shots rang out on streaks of plasma with very noticeable recoil that I could feel right through the armor. The volley turned the alien to a puddle of green goo and black chunks and well as flattening the neighbor's house and four or fire cars completely.
    Categories
    lucid , non-lucid

    Concerts, Demon Pigs, Samurai Jack (Dream Drop)

    by JadeGreen on 09-26-2020 at 01:29 AM
    Some of these dreams are very old May 2017 it says. But I don't know why they've never been published. I'm lopping them in with some more recent stuff.

    I was at a rave. Infected Mushroom is on stage but we're also supposed to be seeing Shpongle and some other group that I know was a group that was original to the dream and not one that actually exists in waking life. They are playing part of the track Dancing with Kadafi but with a more modernized sound to it for a bit but then go into this portion that sounds more breakbeat and then onto what I think was a led Zepplin song.

    Manei and S were there. The song stopped and Amit said that it would be a ten minute intermission. I turned to Manei and S and said "That means there will be another hour and a half set, so let's stay here even if that means we'll be up until one in the morning." S said he was bored and that he would take the car home by himself and I didn't care in my semi lucid state. Amit then started taking questions from the audience and some girl in goth makeup and a black tank top raised her hand and asked something about the drums. This ended in her going onto stage attempting to demonstrate something and playing a really poor drum solo.

    Erez said that it was good but just needed a few refinements, but the girl was really embarrassed and started crying causing her makeup to bleed. I got bored and we walked back into the front room of the music theatre we were in. They were selling merchandise and food out of a store that was like a small convenience store. Manei wanted to buy something but I told her not to because it would cost too much.

    -+-

    I had a false awakening. My mom explained to me about how she read one of those creepypastas about how to preform a ritual. She said that his one allowed you to summon the grim reaper and you had a small chance to learn about the cause or the date of your death, and an even more slim chance to alter the date and cause of death by greeting the grim reaper as a friend.

    The ritual was easy. You wake up at midnight and light a candle and stare into it repeating a mantra about death. You have to feel for how many times you think is right to repeat your mantra and not lose track. Then you blow out the candle and get into bed and the grim reaper should walk into your room. I told my mom she was full of bologna and told her I would prove it to her by trying the ritual.

    I did. I got into bed and heard something outside the door and saw this big black boar walk into my room. It was so large that it broke the doorframe as it squeezed its belly through. It had a car engine or some type of machinery very similar to one imbedded into its body and there were mechanical cylinders moving in and out of metal-framed holes along its spine and belching clouds of black toxic smoke. It emanated fear as some people describe monsters and nightmares but I could tell that it was not the grim reaper. The ritual advised that if something other than the grim reaper is summoned, you should keep a religious artifact handy to banish it. I was semi lucid to the point where I recognized it was not a demon, but a nightmare. I reached under my covers and felt around until I found a dreamcatcher and held it up to the boar like a crucifix. It made a squealing sound and turned and ran out of my room.

    I pondered how I would explain the damaged door frame to my parents and lost the dream.

    -+-

    Manei was trapped in an underground compound and working to escape. The situation was something like that of a video game and it required that she spend days navigating labyrinthine underground passages making her way towards the surface and outrunning her captors. In the dream she is wearing an indiana jones costume, and using my variation of my bow.

    At one point she enters a portion of the passages that looks like my house. I am able to alert her that an enemy is approaching and she shoots him in the knee with an arrow to keep him from moving.

    -+-

    I am in my Art History professor's office to talk about my grades. I see that I have gotten an 83% on my exam and realize I don't have to.

    -+-

    I am involved in an absolutely massive space battle taking place above a cratered planet. The scene seems somewhat reminiscent of the first scene from Revenge of the Sith. I am flying alongside two other dream characters in small fighters. We weave our way through the battle, but our squad gets shot at by a dagger-shaped enemy warship and of the person on my left gets shot down.

    The scene ends with us landing in the hangar of the enemy flagship and the dream scene changes to a farm field. Some enemy troops still exist even though the hangar scene is phasing out. The other person who was in my squad who was still alive gets out; he is the Scotsman from Samurai Jack. He used his machinegun leg to kill the guards and the scene completed its transition to a farm.

    I asked him how he came to exist in the real world and he said that he was actually just the voice actor of the character; but that wasn't what I was expecting to hear. I was more curious as to how a 2D animated character became superimposed on a realistic 3D world. He turned sideways and was paper thin and I thought it was funny.

    He then said something about "that damn rabbit" and I turned to see a trap he had set up on the farm with an old rifle pointing at a rabbit eating some crops in the field. He said that he thought the trap had not worked because the gun was too old but I suggested that it might be because he left the trap out in the rain and the gunpowder got wet.


    More Recent Stuff

    I'm driving in an OTD town. There is a gas station next to an old fashioned abandoned brick building and I am trying to put gas into my car. The gas nozzle is like a hexagon shape rather than a round pipe and so is the port/gas cap on my car and its annoying because I have to fit the hexagonal nozzle into the hexagonal pipe on my car. In the dream I am very tired and don't want to fuss around with unnecessary inconveniences like this. I then notice that the gas I am about to put in my car is diesel, e85 or something that my car won't take and get really frustrated. Without pumping anything I go to another gas station across the road. I get lucid and then get even more frustrated when I feel tired and lethargic in my dream, since the dream was happening during a nap and I was frustrated with the fact that I was napping to feel better and then just having a dream where I felt tired.
    Categories
    non-lucid

    The Aliens and The Egg

    by JadeGreen on 09-23-2020 at 05:51 PM
    I was in my gym from primary school. A male gym teacher was there and I was doing normal exercises with some other kids. Everyone else left but for some reason I stayed and Marcus arrived and said one thing.

    "When aliens arrive they will be so different to us that we will not even understand them as beings."

    Then, floating in the middle of the gym appears a large sphere, about five meters around. It is made of mercury or a metallic silvery material that is highly reflective; almost mirror like and his hollow with holes allowing me to see inside. The mirror layer has fluid properties and is constantly shifting with new holes opening and old ones closing as the liquid flows around but always maintaining a perfect sphere. Inside the mercury layer is a cluster of crystals; which had a distinct milky pink color and were constantly growing and shrinking, and glowed slightly with pink light. They mostly stayed inside of the sphere but every so often the crystals would briefly spike outside of the sphere before shrinking back in again. The being also had a bluish white aura of light surrounding it; somehow not conflicting with the pink glow of the crystals or the sliver mirror component.

    In retrospect the level of detail and actual appearance were really good... better than I think I could ever perceive with my IRL eyes. I can't really describe it lets just say it looked really good.

    The alien (who for the remainder of this entry I will be naming Mirrorball) opens a dialogue with me, communicating in dreamspeak with simple thoughts and no distinct words. Mirrorball tells me it wants to show me something.
    I become Lucid as it invites me to fly with them. They deconstruct the gymnasium, exploding it outward; each seperate brick, wooden floor panel, roofing panel, screw and support beam floating separately like an exploded view. The both of us take off through the middle, flying up through the clouds and into space. Accelerating exponentially faster with each second we quickly hit relativistic speeds and are flying past stars and eventually break out of the milky way.

    We continue flying, seeing the huge sponge-like structure depicted in extremely large scale depictions of the universe. Mirrorball informs me we are going well beyond the current sphere of earth can observe of the universe due to the speed of light and expansion of spacetime. More filaments come into view as the universe seems to becoming more densely packed with galaxies and stars. We start to slow down, flying into a vast galaxy. I'm intuitively aware that its at least a billion lightyears across; countless 'smaller' galaxies wrapped into it into it. We fly in near the center to a vast star cluster in a dense nebula impermeable to vision but glowing with the activity of hundreds blue giant stars. These stars are ringed in vast constructs, rings and spheres drawing off matter and energy and surrounded in countless planets much larger than earth covered in the lights of cities. Some of the planets look odd, like sections of the surface have been detached or removed intentionally and are on low orbits nearby. Taking a low trajectory we fly very low over the photosphere of a blue giant star, beneath a huge arc of plasma. It was during this time that I felt the burning heat of the star, and a strange prickle of radiation permeating me.

    We arrive at the center of this hub of activity; an immense symmetric mandala-like structure built around the largest of the stars at the apex of the cluster, partially shrouded in a cloud of glowing gas which fades from blue to purple to red to a muddy brown as it goes out. I'm positively awe struck, not necessarily by the sense of scale or what I'm seeing but in what great detail and color I am able to see it. I try to hide the fact that I think I am not ready for whatever this is.

    Mirrorball senses this thought and reassures me that he would not have come had I not been ready. Seven other members of his race/civilization then appear in front of me seeming to slowly expand into existence. Six are in a hexagonal constellation with the seventh in the middle. Though the seventh is larger and has more variation in his crystals and aura which rather than just pink are pink, blue, cyan and green. His metallic layer is also tinted slightly blue, like liquid osmium. I immediately assume that he is some leader or authority figure for this civilization and am informed that this is correct. I can also sense that while the six surrounding him and the og mirrorball who is still next to and slightly behind me are separate entities each with slightly varied temperaments and personalities.

    Leader Mirrorball informs me that his civilization has technically existed since before the big bang and when the universe was created his civilization "impregnated" the universe through a sexual metaphor. Explaining that their father civilization created a "sperm" which impregnated the universe and was now inserting its genetic material. He explains that humans are the genetic material of the egg and that once we have sufficiently advanced and our civilizations have made contact we will grow into a singular greater being. He goes on to explain a little bit about his civilization explaining how they are 0-dimensional beings of pure will folding the fabric of spacetime through consciousness and the constructs I see surrounding them are just perturbations caused by their immensely powerful souls altering spacetime.

    I begin to wake up. OG Mirrorball informs me it is time to return home with this information in hand.

    Updated 09-23-2020 at 05:57 PM by JadeGreen

    Categories
    lucid

    Meditations on Limitations

    by JadeGreen on 09-19-2020 at 06:28 AM
    I am at my old high school, specifically in the weight room. Manei is there, demonstrating her ability to lift hundreds of pounds with relative ease. Though provided dream bodies don't degrade from inactivity (and the fact that everything is imagined, and just a construct with no physical limitations besides the ones imposed by my subconscious) this seems to be a rather pointless endeavor besides getting a dozen or so gym rats to oggle her in disbelief. I am spotting her and slowly becoming lucid as things progress. Eventually she decides she's done working out and the two of us leave.

    We begin navigating a fairly faithful recreation of my high school though eventually arrive back in my bedroom in my new house. There is some unusual temporal stuff as this seems to be happening simultaneously with another event.


    In it I am on the street in front of R's house at night, Manei and Marcus have followed me here. I am explaining an enhanced form that I had discovered my ability to access at some time ago. Manei doesn't seem convinced until I show her. How I went about changing forms wasn't easy and whatever I was trying to do, she thought I was just yanking her chain with the first couple failed attempts. But eventually I managed to get it. Now I would be lying if I said that I hadn't accessed this form before on a few occasions, but in the dream I expressed a familiarity with it that could only be explained by false memories or repressed memories of dreams that I haven't written down.

    I first explain that this enhanced form comes with an extra set of arms; meaning that I have four arms rather than two. IIRC I documented another dream about the first time I experimented with an extra set of arms and how the first set of arms seemed to be my real arms and had much more intuitive control, where the lower set felt like extra and took more concentration to move. Since then I seemed to have developed an at least competent level of awareness and control for my second/third set of limbs. I also go on to mention that upon waking up I often feel as though a part of myself is missing and that I have "phantom limbs" where my second set of arms should be, at least for a few hours after waking up.

    The dream transitions back to my IRL bedroom (though it seems to be an iteration of it before it was painted.) Rather unusually I'm in my waking life body (theres a mirror in my room to confirm that.) Manei is laying on my bed. This has come to define an entire genre of dream that has gone mostly undocumented on this site where I think she is expecting something else to happen here but every time it instead it turns into a therapy session for my personal grievances with life and existential dread.

    Being in my WL body feels so restrictive, so lethargic, and slow by comparison. All of my dream control abilities that I would normally have access to seem restricted. My perception feels so linear and so fuzzy. This was something I've verbalized with her before. In dreams the world can sometimes seem so impossibly detailed, clear and vibrant that coming back to reality you sometimes feel like you're going through life with ear plugs in and looking down binoculars made of toilet paper rolls. I vocalize this by saying something to the extent of. "I'm trapped in a weak, fat flesh prison and every night my soul yearns to be free of its suffocating and claustrophobic embrace." Going on to explain that I feel like my body badly limits what my mind can perceive and do, and my mind limits how I want to think about the world and reality because its from a human perspective.

    I can tell she thinks I'm being a bit overdramatic and waxing philosophical in my wording but seems to understand my plight. Though I cannot help that fact. In dreams, particularly lucid ones, I often find that when I commune with other dream characters I don't even say a particular dialogue. I communicate with concepts and ideas. If it does translate to a dialogue it can become stilted or somewhat awkward to write out. Hence why more and more my dream journals tend to omit this dialogue.

    ...

    Second dream. Starts out in front of R's house as night. I remember having this device that looked like Captain America's shield but had a rocket engine in the center of it. Initially it seemed like a fairly useless contraption but I pretty quickly cobbled together that it could essentially be used as a hoverboard. Though it only has a single downward thrust vector and is thus very difficult to control. (Why my subcon seem to be so concerned with accurately emulating thrust vectors during flight for stability and maneuvering in the same dream realm where one can fly by sitting in a chair and then lifting up the sides is still a mystery but let's ignore that.)

    Theres some flying. Theres a large OTD lake with dream characters swimming in it. Jak makes an appearance. Except he's comically muscular. His torso and arms are like the size of a house, but has a regular human sized head on him. He's trying to swat me out of the air but I'm dodging him for some time. Eventually I get careless and he lands a hit. I lose the flying shield and am stuck in the water.

    ...

    I had yet another Lucid that started out in front of R's house at night. (This actually seems to be an extremely common dream location. I would make a note to mark it as a dream sign save for I always find myself lucid or at least semi lucid every time I arrive here.) This time around I decide to fly with my thrusters. Flying starts off low and slow but with a bit of encouragement I manage to ramp up the speed, impressed by how well the dream renders the nighttime clouds and lights of distant towns as I ascend higher into the atmosphere. Though rather quickly I begin to sense that I'm shooting off too quickly and start to fly off into space. Luckily I'm able to arrest this in time and begin orbiting earth.

    I descend near a city in America, I believe it was supposed to be Chicago judging by the presence of the Willis Tower in the skyline but I landed in California. It was just after sunset. I began looking for Manei, making my way down the street to a beach. The dream was crowded with a lot of dream characters doing beach activities, buying food and concession stands, carrying surf boards and the like. Eventually I find her relaxing in a beach chair in a bikini. Though her form is minced with a male and has long curly black hair everywhere. Her pits, her stomach, her face, and a very noticeable bulge in her bikini bottom. I find this some combination of funny and just odd but try not to make a mountain out of it. If she had a dollar for every time I'd minced my physical form.

    She gets up and we open a dialogue for a bit but the dream fades out pretty quickly.
    Categories
    lucid