memorable

I'm struggling to get myself in a lucid dream. That one time I was lucky, but since then the dreams have been pretty much controlling me with the occassional attempt at the end of me telling myself this isn't how I want it to end and able to change the ending slightly, but that's about it. Instead I've been having disturbing dreams.

Dream 1

Several nights ago I dreamt I had found a small snake in the house. It was red and white and I wasn't sure if it was poisonous or not. It kept striking at me as I tried to find a way to get it out the house. I then found a long stick with a hook that looked like a massive key ring on it and I found a way to hook the snake on it and then threw it outside. But the metal was strained like it had been prised open and was quite sharp, and it cut the snake into 3. I looked outside to see the tail and head still moving, the head was severely damaged and exposing muscle. Seeing it was still alive but in pain I quickly picked up a small tupperware box and put all 3 parts into it carefully, then called out to Tony saying "Tony, we're going to need to take it to a vet." We got to a vet and when I opened the box I saw 2 heads. The vet said the second head was just a ghost head and nothing to worry about. The tail had somehow reattached itself to the body but it wasn't on properly and I could see into the tail and it was hollow, the head was still moving and I could sense that the snake knew we were trying to help it so it had calmed down to let us help but it was in a lot of pain. I was starting to take control of the dream as it was coming to a close in wanting to separate the tail from the body and reattach it properly, and seconds from waking I managed to see the part where the vet had severed the tail and was now pressing it against the body to reattach it and another vet went to get some bandages to hold it in place.

Dream 2

I was playing a prank on my cousins who were back as children except for the eldest one. We were walking down a street and I was creeping up behind them as if to scare them and then hide my hands again as if I wasn't up to anything. We neared a building and my eldest cousin was in a room that was his. His sister came in knowing I needed money and said she would sell her guitar to get me some money. I told her not to do that. We went outside and saw down the street a massive alien pod that had opened up. My cousin told us all to get into a giant spaceship that sort of looked like the one in Battlestar Galactica. My mother was there too and a few other people who were related or meant something to us. When we got inside he was able to control 2 other smaller ships that were hovering around the alien pod. One looked like a giant christmas bauble and the other was a very small ship. "Let's see what this does" he said, and the huge bauble began to flash rapidly and shot multiple thick beams of white light into the middle of the pod making a very loud noise. The smaller ship began to swing around the pod and was shooting blue lazers at it. The pod began to flicker rapidly and made a loud noise as if it was charging up and the world began to shake. "Let's get out of here!" he said, and sent the ship to go upwards into space. We sailed past the moon and my cousin said "We should be safe here." I heard a loud high pitched sound coming from Earth, outside the Earth was glowing bright and then it exploded with a loud echoing bang, sending out a massive shockwave through space. I suddenly realised we would be in space for a very long time as we hadn't yet found of a hospitable planet that wouldn't take several generations to get there and we didn't have any resources like food, water or oxygen to live that long. As the dream was coming to a close I began to take control and was thinking to myself won't the shockwave shatter through the moon and still kill us or the chunks of Earth pulverise us? We're not going to avoid it, and trying to rewrite the dream as us getting as far as Jupiter and hiding behind it, but we weren't gonna get there that fast as it took a long time for man to get to the moon and Jupiter was a lot lot further away. I woke up before I could rewrite the ending to make sense.

Past few nights I've had trouble recalling dreams, but last night I was able to recall one of them.

I was back at my very first home where I grew up as a child. I was looking out through the wide kitchen window to the back garden. As a child my mother made it a large allotment of prize winning gooseberry bushes, blackcurrant bushes, raspberry canes, rhubarb, and she had a greenhouse where she doctored young plants she found selling cheap that were half dead and then grew them into amazing blooms. But now as I looked out there was little left of the back garden I once remembered. The privet bushes had been cut down half their height, a low wall was added by the concrete paving stones below the window with steps leading up towards a more higher lawn and cracked paving stones going around it. At the other side a shed was built right by where the rhubarb plants were, which were still there but massively overgrown. There was also bits of hawthorn and fuschia bushes that were badly in need of trimming in front of the shed. I looked with dismay at the empty lawn and said in a dejected voice "Oh mother..." I could feel her presence and her sadness of knowing all those years of working in the garden together picking berries to make into jams and wines were now gone forever, and I swear I heard her whisper to me "I know."

I woke up feeling this wasn't just a dream but that I was actually there with her in spirit. I'm considering looking the place up with google maps to see if it really looks like it did in my dream.