Hello, JoyRide! Welcome to DV!
I can't say for sure, since I don't know you, but I'll throw some ideas around and hopefully they'll help you, even if I'm wrong.
I have no idea how your marriage was nor how it ended, but you said "(eeks)" about being in bed with your ex-husband. Then, you cut his penis off. I'm going to assume that, in real life, you're not too fond of him and, in one way or another, you'd like to do something against him? I know that there are a few things I'd like to do to some of my exes.

But later, you end up offering the money to him, so maybe you know that, deep down, you'd feel bad about taking action against him, even though you wish you could.
About the cops... not so sure. In my country, there have been some heated discussions about whether or not the people here trust the police, so that's what I first thought... that there's some figure of authority in your life (police? boss? someone/something else?) that have two sides, a good and a bad one, and you can see both of those sides.
Anyway, as I said, just throwing some ideas around.
*Moved to Dream Interpretation*