KingYoshi's Dream Journal...My World is Different

May 5, 2011
Lucid Dream 228: Origin of the Muskox
Series: Land of Dreams, Episode 12
DILD
around 5:00am



There was a group of us standing around a camp fire. We seemed to be in an extreme northern climate. It was cold, I could see snow covered mountains in the background, and very few trees/plants around the area. The ground was covered in a very light skiff of snow that seemed more frost-like than actual snow. Jacob Black (from the Twilight series) was there at the campfire along with several other DCs I did not recognize. We had tents set up and I was looking for the bottle of vodka I had brought. After searching for a bit, I randomly became lucid.

I stepped out of the tent and looked around. The environment was incredible. Suddenly, Jacob ran up to me with an excited look on his face. He said, "Dude, lets go throw some spears!" I was now curious, so I followed him over to a large area. There was now a Muskox with us and another guy with blonde hair. There were a pile of spears laying on the ground. I saw Jacob pick up a spear and throw it. It stuck a good distance out in front of us. The blonde guy threw his spear and it landed several feet short of Jacob's. I watched as the muskox grabbed a spear, stood up like a human and launched it. It was a really shitty throw. It was very wobbly and started curving to the right. The spear spiraled down and stuck right into Jacob's shoulder. He hit the ground and I started laughing at the situation.

I threw my spear, but it disappeared off into the distance. I decided to throw another one and try not to cheat with my lucidity as much. It landed in the same general area as the first two throws. I walked over to Jacob and saw that he had removed the spear. His arm had a huge gash and was bleeding badly. I could see muscle and bone in the deep wound. He shook it off and we walked to the next tee box. It was set up just like a golf course, only we were throwing spears. Jacob threw a very short throw with his mangled arm. The blonde kid had a decent throw and then I threw and landed right on the flag stick. I then watched intently as the muskox threw. He launched another horrible spear that wobbled and curved way off course. This time I saw the spear flying toward the blonde kid. The spear was spinning around in a circle and sliced the kid clean in half. It looked like a mortal kombat fatality. I thought, "Holy shit!" Everyone just ignored that this happened and we continued to the next tee box. On my way to the next tee box, I walked by the pile of body parts and blood that once was the blonde kid.

Once we got up to the next tee box, Jacob cried out in pain and clutched his shoulder. Suddenly, he collapsed and a muskox climbed out of his shoulder wound. I heard a strange noise and turned around. Another muskox emerged from the bloody pile that was once the blonde kid. The muskox gathered in front of me and started all throwing spears. They were all terrible throws and some curved backwards right for me. I realized that they were trying to birth another muskox using me as the victim. I took flight and started dodging the flying spears with ease. I caught one of the spears and then swooped down at one of the muskox. I sliced it in half and it burst 100 tiny muskox. These tiny muskox attacked the other two full grown ones and started eating them alive. I thought to myself, "This has got to be one of the strangest sights ever..."

The tiny muskox army devoured the two larger ones in seconds. They then started running for the campsite. I flew over to the campsite and could hear screaming from the tents. After a few moments the muskox had devoured everyone at the campsite as well as the tents, sleeping bags, and whatnot. They all jumped into the campfire one after the other and seemed to be sacrificing themselves. I awoke as I watched this strange event.

May 4, 2011
Lucid Dream 227: Return of the S.S.
Series: The Wonderful World of Ack, Episode 1
DILD
around 11:00am



I was in the local Wal-Mart parking lot with my friends Diddy and Mike. I was smoking a cig and we were talking about going downtown later. Someone came up behind me and put their hands of my eyes and did the "guess who." It was a familiar female voice. All I got out was Kate, when I became lucid.

I turned around and Kate Beckinsale was standing behind me. I kissed her and told her it had been a while. I turned back around and saw that Diddy and Mike had been restrained and were now being dragged into a large van. The men who were taking them hostage were very familiar indeed. One of them flashed a fake badge and said, "Don't worry, we are just going taking to get ice cream." They got in the van quickly, burned out in the parking lot, and sped off. I grabbed Kate's hand and we hurried into the back seat of a nearby vehicle. My sister was in the driver's seat. I told her to follow the van. Kate looked at me and said, "Its alright, they were government officials. We can trust them." I laughed and said, "I trust government officials about as much as I trust the Taliban." I then notice a group of Taliban members standing under a tent in the Wal-Mart parking lot. They were passing out rocket launchers and AKs. I then looked at Kate and said, "Besides, they weren't true government officials. They were S.S." She looked confused and said, "They didn't speak German." I replied, "S.S. otherwise known as the Shiny Spiffers." She looked at me like I was crazy and I explained, "I used to write stories about them in middle school. They are named after their spiffy Donald Trump hair, dark sunglasses, and black suits with the penguin coat tail." I was really excited because this was actually true. I used to write stories about these guys. They were a "mature rated" comedy series called, 'The Wonderful World of Ack'. The stories were actually inspired from a dream I had back around that time. I wish I still had them.

We followed the van at a safe distance, but lost them at some point. My sister asked where they might be headed and I replied, "Oh, I know exactly where they are headed...Duke University. Their secret base is there." We drove for a short period of time and caught up with the van. It pulled into what looked like an old plantation with a sign that had the blue devil symbol. I asked my sister where she put the guns and she told me they were behind my seat. I pulled down my seat slightly and pulled out an assault rifle. We waited for a moment and the boss got out of the van. Kate said, "Theres the boss!" I looked and noticed it was Mel Gibson. I jumped out of the car and shot at Mel Gibson. He seemed to be one step ahead of me though and was in mid-dive when I opened fire. He dove behind the van and pulled out a pistol. We had a shoot-out for a few moments. I then acted like I was reloading and as soon as he popped out from the car, I blasted him. I walked over top of him as he was dying and said, "Silly Mel Gibson, lucid dreamers don't reload." I then shot his body a few more times.

I sneak around the nearby building and looked through the window. For some reason, I knew I had been tortured in this building before with electricity. I was tied up and standing in a water pail. I saw there were a bunch of captives in there as well as Mike and Diddy. I then ran around to the door of the small building. I looked back behind me and saw an old mansion a top a hill behind me. I could see security cameras everywhere and knew I had to act quickly. I shot the door lock and then kicked it open. I yelled for all of the prisoners to escape and people started running out the door screaming like they were running from Godzilla. I told them to be quiet and there was no need to scream, but the bastards didn't listen. I looked for Brandon and Mike and found them sitting at a poker table. They were smoking cigars and playing poker with two other guys. I said, "What the hell are you doing, I'm rescuing you." Mike said, "Yeah thanks, just wait for us to finish this game real quick. I laughed and turned back to the doorway. There was a tall man that resembled an elf from Lord of the Rings. He was holding a katana in each hand. I start shooting at him, but he was blocking all the bullets with same crazy ass swordsmanship. He closed in on me, so i dove head first out the window.

I landed and noticed the clip to my gun had fallen out. I thought, "Eh, I don't really need it anyway." The elf guy jumped down and started running at me. I tried to shoot him, but the gun as no longer working. The Elf was just a foot or two away when I heard a gun shot and he dropped dead. Diddy had shot the elf guy in the head. Diddy said, "You could have told me we were dreaming!" I shrugged and flew back up into the window. We grabbed some of the scattered guns and exited the building. We were heading back to the vehicle when I saw Wormtail from the Harry Potter movies. He was running down from the mansion shouting, "Stop in the name of Lord Gibson! Stop this instant." We ran around the building and I looked for Mel's dead body. I found it after a quick search around the hedges and picked it up. I walked over to Wormtail and threw it at his feet. I said, "Here you go, chap!" Wormtail looked panicked and leaned toward Mel's body. I then shot the shit out of the dead body. Blood splattered all over Wormtail and I got into the car.

Me, Diddy, and Mike were all shooting out the windows at the line of vehicles following us. We were in a pretty intense shootout when I had a false awakening. I started to write down my dream in a notebook, but my writing kept vanishing. It took me several moments to figure out I had a false awakening. I then dove head first out of my window and took flight. I flew around for a short period of time before actually waking up.

Series Details
The dream series, "The Wonderful World of Ack," is based off of my old short story series that I wrote in middle school. Stay tuned to this series to see just how fucked up my mind was, even before the drugs and alcohol, lol.

April 30, 2011
Lucid Dream 226: The Land of Judgement
Series: Tartarus of the Dream World, Episode 1
WILD
around 8:00pm



I woke up from my previous dream and got something to eat. I watched some t.v. for a bit and still felt tired. I decided to WILD. I performed my technique and soon SP set in.

I started to slowly spin around in my bed and then floated around the room. I heard some muffled conversation and a few screams here and there. Finally, the dream settled in and I stood up. I noticed there was a man standing in my room. He looked familiar. I shouted, "Where the f*** have you been?" The old man turned around and I noticed it was Merlin the Wizard...my "dream guide." He spoke up and said, "You haven't needed me, but I have always been watching." I thought that was a little creepy, but replied, "So, what brings you here now?" I noticed Merlin was wearing a long brown traveling cloak, and held a large, white magical staff with a blue crystal on the end of it. His long, white and grey beard matched up perfectly with his long hair. He looked at me and said, "It is time for you to uncover the secrets of this world." I was very amused and intrigued all at the same time. I performed some quick stabilization techniques as Merlin began to chant.

After a few moments a portal opened up and he ushered me into it. I dove head first into the portal and found my self in some sort of weird water slide. I was sliding head first through a strange purple tube. The texture was soft and very slippery. It reminded me of a frog's skin. The tube was many shades of purple and the more I observed it, the more it felt like I was inside the intestines of some strange creature. Luckily, there was nothing gross about it. It was an extremely fun water slide that twisted, turned, and had several awesome drops. Finally, i came to the end of the slide which was suspended over a massive lake. I fell around 100 feet from the end of the slide/tube and landed in the lake below.

I plunged underwater and looked around. I could see several other DCs swimming around in the lake with me. I also noticed that the bottom of the lake could not be seen. The lake water was clear as crystal, but below me was nothing but a dark abyss. I freaked out a bit and kicked hard for the surface of the water (I have a slight fear of extremely deep water). I broke the surface and noticed everyone was swimming in a single direction. I figured I would follow. Suddenly, the person to my right was grabbed by something and drug under water. Splashing occurred all around me as demon-like beings began grabbing people and pulling them under. I sprang up out of the water like a dolphin and took flight. I flew to the shore. Several others made it to the shore and many seemed to be surprised by my flying ability. I told them all that we were lucid dreaming right now. One of them laughed and said, "Yeah...so is everyone else. You still shouldn't be able to fly down here!" You must be one of the chosen ones, eh?" I pondered the thought for a moment and then asked where we were. He replied, "We are in Tartarus of course." I looked around at the area I was in. The walls and ceiling were all made of crystal. The crystals and lake reflected a purple and blue light. The room was absolutely stunning. The DC warned me not to lust over the lake or it would draw me in. He also told me that this was, "The Lake of Judgement," and the unworthy would be dragged to its depths.

After talking for a bit, we all walked through a large white gate. There was a group of about 30 of us and I just casually walked along with the crowd and tried to take in the environment. We made our way through many maze-like rooms. There was blood scattered all throughout the place as well as many dead bodies. After a bit, demon-like creatures began attacking. I easily fought these off with super human-lucid strength. I found a spear and began stabbing demon after demon. It appeared that most everyone in the group struggled fighting off the demons. Many died and were torn to shreds. After battling off the demons, I noticed the DC from before was still alive, but breathing heavily. He seemed amazed that I was able to use so much lucid power. I asked him for his name and he told me it was "Ash." We all began sliding through the same type tubes as before.

This time, I landed in a large forest. Many of the trees had sinister faces and branches that looked like claws. I took off running through the forest and the rest of the survivors followed suit. Many were snatched by the evil trees and ripped to shreds. Whenever I came close to one of the evil trees, I placed my hands on it, focused, and set it ablaze. Once I made it to the end of the forest, there was a huge field. The sky was incredibly dark and I could see the silhouette of an enormous castle in the distance. Me, Asher, a hot female in ninja-like gear, and a native american man were the only four people left alive. The native american guy was actually a teenage version of Nightwolf from the video game series, Mortal Kombat. The female ninja was the teenage version of Jade from Mortal Kombat. Nightwolf said, "We have finally reached the land of judgement." I asked them who's bad ass castle that was and they told me it was the kingdom of Thanatos and the god resided in the castle.

I was pumped and wanted to go battle Thanatos. I told them to catch up later and I took flight toward the castle. Once I got about halfway there, I noticed something flying at me from the distance. it was a dark silhouette and I knew it was Thanatos. Music started playing int he background. I could barely hear it at first, but as Thanatos approached, it got louder. It sounded like battle music. I decided to try and summon my keyblade. After a couple of attempts, I managed to summon a solid black sword. I decided that it must be my Zanpakutou (weapon/sword from the anime bleach). It was all black like Ichigo's sword, but the blade was much thicker and looked more like a claymore.

I started to get excited as Thanatos approached. His face seemed human, but it was solid white. He was holding two large scythes, one in each hand. Each scythe had multiple black blades and at first it appeared as if he was actually holding about 20 of them. I swung my sword and he blocked it with one of his multi-bladed scythes. I landed on the ground and held my arm into the air. I shouted some nonsense that I can no longer remember and a stream of fire blasted from my hand. The dream became unstable at this point. I continued to battle Thanatos even though the dream was blurry, but I couldn't manage to keep the dream going. I stopped and tried to stabilize, but it was too late.

I shall definitely be battling him again. This dream was one of my favorites so far. It felt like I was in some sort of bad ass anime-type story/plot.

Series Details
In the series, "Tartarus of the Dream World," an evil, yet beautiful land lies before me. Follow along as I explore the darkest depths in the dream world. Stay tuned for more entries to the series.

April 30, 2011
Lucid Dream 225: The Chaos Wagon
Series: Fearless, Episode 6
DILD
around 5:00pm



I'm sitting in the back seat of some sort of SUV. There is a decently attractive chick sitting beside me. My friend P is driving and there is some random DC in the passenger seat. I was talking to the chick beside me and trying to get some play. At one point we start kissing and she starts unbuttoning her pants. She then says to me, "Oh, btw...I have metia." I though, "I don't know what that is, but ti doesn't sound good." I looked at her and said, "Sorry, but there is no way I'm doing you." She looked pissed and tried to talk me into it anyway. I sternly refused and she fell silent with her arms crossed like a pissed off elementary school kid. As we drove down the road, I randomly became lucid.

I performed a few nose pinch RCs to stabilize and immediately told the other vehicle occupants that we were lucid. The chick beside may said, "Good...will you fuck me now?" I didn't hesitate. I lifted my leg and kicked her square in the face. The door behind her flew ajar when she slammed into it. She fell out of the moving vehicle and we just kept driving.

I punched out the sun roof and stood in it. I yelled down at P, "Get ready to f*** some sh** up!" I then held out my hands and acted like there was a control stick and panel on top of the suv. I shouted to P, "First off...machine gun rampage!" I pushed an invisible button and the vehicle began firing machine gun rounds from the grill. I used an invisible joystick to control the direction of the bullet spray. We drove through town and I was blasting out windows, shooting road signs, and even a few unfortunate DCs who happen to be walking along the side of the road. After a bit of machine gun play, I decided to try something else.

There was now a full control panel on top of the vehicle. I shouted down to P, "Summoning ninjas in 3...2....1..." I then pushed a large square button. I saw several portals open up on the side of the road and loads of stereotypical ninjas leapt out of them. They began running beside the vehicle and kept up with our pace. As we approached a crowd of people, the ninjas spread out and began performing stealthy acrobatics to get in position to take out the group of people. I saw the ninjas close in and kill the entire group of people in about 5 seconds. They then returned to the vehicle, running along side of it at blazing speed. We took out several more groups of people before I decided to try something else.

I shouted to P, "Get ready for the big show! Firing off a mini-nuke in 3....2....1..." I pushed the button once again. I looked around for a few moments and then spotted it. Off in the distance, I could see the nuke falling from the sky. It was leaving a trail of smoke in its path like a jet. It landed and massive mushroom cloud erupted from the spot. However, it was completely silent. Suddenly, I noticed a shock wave approaching. Buildings, cars, and everything in the shock waves path was being heavily damaged. It was f***ing awesome. Like it was straight out of a movie. I held out my arms as the shock wave approached. It felt like was hanging my head out the window of a car that was driving 300 mph. After the shock wave passed, I heard a massive explosion like a shotgun had just went off. A second and much more powerful shock wave rolled through taking out buildings, sending cars through the air, and uprooting trees. I watched in amazement at all the destruction going on around me. It was awesome. I just looked around at the environment as we continued to drive through the ruined city. At some point I ducked back into the car. P started yelling triumphantly and shouted, "Don't f*** with the chaos wagon!" I joined in on the yelling/cheering. I noticed that there was now a different chick sitting beside me. I placed my hand behind her head and she immediately unbuttoned my pants and started blowing me. I awoke during this time.

Series Details
Join all the action in the dream series, "Fearless." You never know what I may run into, but you can guarantee I'm ready for a fight. Stay tuned for more blades, guns, and explosions in this series!

April 30, 2011
Lucid Dream 224: The Best Kind of Slushie
Series: Sexcapades, Episode 7
DILD
around 3:00pm



I was sitting in my living room and I thought that I saw a vacant chair move on its own. I stared at it for a moment and determined that my eyes were playing tricks on me. I stood up and out of the corner of my eye, I saw the chair slide out of my vision. I quickly turned my head and saw the chair sliding down the hallway. I freaked out a little and thought I was being haunted. I heard a dog barking outside of my front door. I turned around and saw a black demon-like dog. I took off running for my gun. I grabbed it, turned, and shot the dog between the eyes as it was leaping toward me. The dog crumbled at my feet. I thought, "Wait a second...a bullet can't kill a demon-dog." I kicked the dead dog a few times, but it didn't move. I thought about the events that had just occurred and suspected I was dreaming. I performed a nose pinch RC to confirm.

Several more demon dogs had entered the house, but I ignored them. I dove headfirst through the sliding glass door and took flight. I flew over a couple mountains and picked up some massive speed. I found myself flying over a highway. No matter which direction I flew, I couldn't get away from the highway. Knowing I wasn't going to make it anywhere, I decided to get some help from a DC. I landed beside the road, stuck out my thumb, and began hitchhiking. The first vehicle that passed just stared at me and never slowed. I wanted to attack him, but I decided not to. Another car approached and I could see them slowing down. It was an SUV. They stopped and the passenger opened the door. It was an older lady in her 50s and the driver appeared to be her husband. She told me to get in the front seat with her. I jumped in and said, "You guys are on your way to the party aren't you?" The nodded and the woman immediately began unzipping my pants. I figured, "F*** it," and I let the older lady suck me dry. During this I had a false awakening.

I woke up in the back seat of my car. I immediately knew I was still dreaming and was surprised at the strange location for my false awakening. I melted through the front windshield and took flight. I flew for a bit until I saw a lake below. I put my arms tight to my side and began to free fall. I landed beside the lake and noticed that there were college students partying all around the lake. There was a large building off to the side of the lake. I entered the building and found myself in a gymnasium. There seemed to be some sort of fencing competition going on. I walked through the gym and exited the other side into a hallway. A random DC walked up to me and said, "Hey Zack! You were going to get a slushie weren't you?" I was a bit taken back, but I said, "Sure..." I then followed this DC to the slushie stand.

Once we got there I decided to make it interesting. I'm not sure what the DC ordered, but I stepped to the counter and said, "I would like the Psilocybin Slushie." The girl at the counter made my slushie with grounded up shrooms. It was red and I immediately began drinking it. It tasted like a normal slushie. I followed the DC and we arrived at a set of bleachers. I sat down and finished off my slushie. A few moments later I started tripping balls. Everything around me looked like th movie waking life. I could hear the tune of "Nuthin But a G Thang" playing inside my head. It felt like my head was actually a music box and my ear was slowly rotating around like the handle (of a music box).

There was an attractive chick in a cheerleader outfit sitting in front of me. I placed my hands on her shoulders and she leaned back against me. I bent my head down and began kissing her and rubbing her thighs. I ran my hand up her skirt and began rubbing on her. She started moaning a little and then started singing a strange song about cocks. I can no longer remember the words, but it was quite amusing. I unzipped my pants, and she sat on me. I awoke from the dream as I was pounding her from the bottom, reverse cowboy style.

Series Details
Class is thrown out the window in the dream series, "Sexcapades." Not unlike your favorite porn video, I unleash my inner "Ron Jeremy" and give those DCs what they are looking for ! Stay tuned for more entries to the series!

April 24, 2011
Lucid Dream 223: On the Verge of Adventure
Series: Gotta Catch 'Em All, Episode 1
WILD
around 9:00am



I woke up early after a night of partying and decided to try and WILD. I performed some Reverse Blinking to get myself back into tired mode. I had some brief HH and then felt my body transitioning. My body felt like it was spinning around in circles and it finally stopped. I stood up and stabilized the dream.

I looked around me and saw my friends Zach and Oaka were sleeping in the same places as waking life. I already knew what I had planned for this dream. I woke them both up and said, "Hurry or we are going to be late!" Oaka asked, "Late for what?" I replied, "We are meeting Professor Oak today...remember? He is going to give us each a pokemon." They both said similar things to, "Oh yeah, I forgot." We then exited the house.

I asked Oaka in which direction Professor Oak lived and he pointed toward the woods and said, "Right through there!" I attempted to fly, but for some reason, I could barely even jump. I decided just to slowly walk through the woods and give the dream some time to settle in. I told Oaka to lead the way. As we walked through the forest, my legs sort of locked up on me. They were stuck in a bent position, so I just crouch-walked for a bit. I figured they were stuck in the same position as my actual sleeping body. After a bit of this, I was able to stand up once again. We walked down a large sloping path and arrived in front of a house. Oaka said, "This is it!" Before I could step up onto the porch, I instantly woke up.

I was pissed that I had woke up, but something didn't seem right. I knew I was still dreaming. I performed a nose pinch RC to confirm. I woke Oaka and Rack up once again and told them that we had a false awakening. We exited the house once again. I was determined to find an easier way to get to Professor Oak's house. I saw that there was a van parked in the driveway. We all got into the van and I took off driving toward the woods. My goal was to fly the van over the woods and land at the Professor's house. I lifted the van into the air, but didn't get enough height before I hit the woods. I crashed through several trees and soon fell out of the air.

I drove the van through the woods and came upon a large creek/small river. I attempted to gain some speed and fly over the river. I barely managed to get the van off the ground and I crashed it into the river. We floated along water and soon floated right to Professor Oak's house. I melted through the van door and jumped to the shore. Oaka and Zach managed to jump out of the van as well. We walked up to the house, opened the door, and entered. The outside had looked like a normal house, but the inside was clearly a scientific laboratory. There was scientific equipment everywhere. I saw a man standing at the back of the room. His back was to us and I knew it was Professor Oak.

I spoke, "Professor, sorry we are late." He turned around and sure enough, it was Professor Oak (a live action version). He told us it was quite alright and he pulled out a plastic walmart bag. He told us that he had three rare pokemon/pokeballs in the bag and we would each randomly draw one. I stepped up to draw first. He looked at me and said, "Ah, it appears we are out of time for today's show." I was confused and looked at Professor Oak. He then said, "You are waking up!" I thought, "No I'm not, am I?" Sure enough the dream started to fade. I tried to hold on, but couldn't. I then woke up pissed off at Professor Oak for putting the "waking up idea" in my head. That bastard!

Series Details
In the dream series, "Gotta Catch 'Em All," I take on Pokemon related tasks and adventures. My ultimate goal will be completely filling out my Pokedex. Stay tuned for more entries in the series!

April 22, 2011
Lucid Dream 222: A Day at the Range
Series: Friends, Episode 11
DILD
around 1:00pm



The first part of the dream I remember, I was at one of my house parties. The night was winding down and I was wasted. I was passing out on one end of the couch and Cliff was passing out on the other end. I told him that I would try to find him in the lucid dream I was about to have. We talked about lucid dreaming for a bit and I then closed my eyes. I immediately started seeing HI/HH and completed a brief transition into a WILD.

I got up off the couch and woke up Cliff. I told him we were dreaming. He then went and woke up my friend J-Dub and told him the same. We exited the house and I told them to follow me. I took flight and they followed. I flew for a while until I noticed something interesting. It was a driving range. I figured it would be cool to hit some golf balls in a lucid dream. We landed and there was a golf bag sitting nearby. There was also a row of bleacher behind us. There was a whole crowd of people on the bleachers watching everyone at the driving range. We started hitting golf balls and then using our lucidity to make them catch fire, travel an ungodly distance, or travel in crazy patterns.

After hitting a few golf balls, we decided to mess with the other golfers around us. I walked up behind one guy and every time he swung, I used telekinesis to knock the golf ball off the tee and he would miss. After missing several times he got pissed off. He teed up the ball and perform a very quick swing. He connected and I used telekinesis to send the ball straight up into the air. He was looking down range for his ball when I slammed it on top of his head and knocked him out. He collapsed on the ground and just laid there. I walked down to another golfer. It was actor, Richard Griffiths (Vernon Dursley from Harry Potter). I decided to mess with him a bit.

I turned to find Cliff and J-Dub, but didn't see them. I called out for Cliff a couple times and he came around the corner and said he was pissing on some golfers. I said to him, "Let me borrow your boat horn for a minute." He then reached in his pocket and pulled out a small boat horn. Just before Richard swung through the golf ball, I blew the boat horn. He hit the very top of the ball and it bounced a total of about 20 feet. He looked pissed, but didn't say anything. He teed up another golf ball and this time, I put the boat horn right next to his ear and blew it. He about fell over and shanked the golf ball completely sideways. The whole crowd on the bleachers behind me started laughing. He pulled a remote with a single red button on it out of his pocket. He pushed the button and a fire alarm started going off around us.

All of the people in the bleachers started to panic and yelled, "Fire! Everybody run for your lives!" They all scrambled and some of them fell off the bleachers. People all around started running toward their cars. As I watched them run around like mad, I felt something solid slam into my head. Richard had hit me in the head with his driver. I stumbled a bit and it actually hurt a little. Now super pissed off, I turned and started beating the shit out of Richard Griffiths. I told J-Dub to get the biggest driver he could find. I had knocked out Richard Griffiths and set him up on top of a tee. I told J-Dub to send him over the mountains. J-Dub performed the happy Gilmore swing and launched Richard into the air. He flew beyond the outer fence and landed somewhere in the woods.

We decided to make a change in location. I took flight and the two of them followed me. We flew around for a while and was about to land on top of a nearby mountain when I felt the dream fade and I woke up.

Upon waking up, I realized that I had been dreaming the entire time. I had actually WILDed within the dream. So, I classified it as a DILD.

Series Details
In the dream series, "Friends," I join the DC counterparts of my waking life friends and tackle the dream world. You never know what we will be up to next, but I guarantee it will be one hell of a time. Stay tuned for more entries to the series!

April 20, 2011
Lucid Dream 221: A Little 3-Way Action
Series: Sexcapades, Episode 6
DILD
around 7:00am



I was at a big 420 party and we were all smoking. There were like 12 of us in a circle passing around 3 different bongs with blunts nestled in them. Some random guy was sitting next to me and was talking about having sex with the girl he was with later. He asked if there was somewhere he could take her. I told him we would figure something out. Later on, we were playing beer pong. My partner was a very attractive female and her friend. They told me that they were bisexual and they have had sex with each other before. I told them that after this game, we would go back to my room and smoke a blunt of my best stuff.

The dream may have skipped ahead. Me and the two girls were smoking in my bedroom. One of them was sitting on my lap and the other was sitting beside me on the bed. One of them asked what I had done earlier that day for 420. I tried to think what I had done, but I couldn't remember. I then realized that I had no idea when this party even started. I got a strange feeling and I realized I must be dreaming. I did a nose pinch to confirm.

I said, "F*** the rest of this blunt.." I then began kissing on the two girls. After a bit of kissing and feeling them up, they both started blowing me. I looked over and noticed that the guy from earlier was getting a blow job from a girl right beside me. I looked at him and said th following in a very concerned manner, "You are still here! I thought you had left already?" He looked confused and said, "Nah, man...I am here to party!" I then said, "Sorry man, I thought someone had told you already. Your mom was in a car wreck and she is at the hospital right now." He looked shocked, pulled up his pants and ran out of the room. I looked at the girl who was blowing him and said, "Its unfortunate, but there is no need to stop the party." I then beckoned her over. I laid back on the bed and she crawled up on top of me. She proceed to get completely naked and assume the 69 position. I was giving her head as the three of them were giving me head. Unfortunately, the dream faded after a bit of this and I couldn't manage to hang on to it. I awoke from the dream.

Series Details
Class is thrown out the window in the dream series, "Sexcapades." Not unlike your favorite porn video, I unleash my inner "Ron Jeremy" and give those DCs what they are looking for ! Stay tuned for more entries to the series!

April 17, 2011
Lucid Dream 220: Munchies
Series: Friends, Episode 10
DEILD



....I completed my DEILD and found myself laying in the floor. I stood up and noticed I was in some random house. Cliff and Chris R were there, along with a couple of DCs that I didn't recognize. I stood up and perform some quick stabilization. The door bell rang and one of the DCs answered it. There was a pizza man standing at the door holding a pizza. The DC handed him a 100 dollar bill and I thought, "That is a bit much for a pizza isn't it?" The DC closed the door and turned back to me. He said, "Now, it is time for the best smoke on this side of Alaska!" He opened up the box and there was bag of some very nice looking bud. The entire bag of weed was in pellet-like buds. I jumped up and said, "Lets smoke this shit out of the Wooly Mammoth!"

I walked around the house looking for the largest smoking device I could find. I walked into one room and saw like 30 different glass pieces. I wanted to smoke out of them all, but I resisted. I looked around a bit more and opened up a closet. In there, I found a glass bong that stood over 6 feet tall. I brought it into the room and set it down on the floor in front of the couch. I stood up on the couch, so I could hit this massive beast of bong. One of the DCs was about to light it for me when I said, "Don't bother!" I held out my hand and he handed me the lighter. I lit the lighter up and then used my other hand to grab the flame. I then dropped the flame down and it hit in the stem perfectly. I took a massive rip from the gigantic bong. With a wave of my hand, the stem pulled/flew from the bong and a DC caught it. I was instantly high as a kite.

The two unfamiliar DCs were amazed with my flame drop and stem trick. I told them I was simply, magical. Cliff and Chris looked at me weird and then performed nose pinch RCs. I could tell they had now became lucid as well. The others took turns hitting the mammoth as I walked around the house a bit, trying to figure out where it came from. I examined it, but I determined that it had been completely created by my mind. I didn't even notice a familiar room. I walked back into the living room and one of the DCs was eating some chips. He looked around and said, "None of you guys bought your own munchies?" I said, "Motha fucker, if I get hungry I'll go out and kill me a farm animal...like a goat!" Cliff and Chris laughed, but the DC seemed concerned. He said, "You can't just kill a goat!?!" I then proceeded to tell him the "jungle law" from the live action Jungle Book movie. I said, "Yes I can. You kill to eat or to keep from being eaten. That is the jungle law." The DC seemed enlightened by my words.

After a few moments, I started feeling hungry. I looked around the room and saw a black goat just randomly standing in the corner of the room. I grabbed the goat and it was trying to bite me. It had huge canine-like teeth, so I grabbed it behind the neck to keep it from biting me. I then walked around the house looking for a knife. I found a pizza cutter and I carried the goat back into the living room. I slammed it on the coffee table and slit its throat with the pizza cutter. I then cut open its chest and stomach. I reached in with my hand and pulled out its heart. The heart felt like it was nerf. I took a bite and the texture was that of a nerf football, but it tasted like a juicy steak. Everyone around me reached into the goat and pulled out some organs which also appeared to be made of nerf foam.

After eating a bit, Cliff told me he wanted to teleport to a different scene. I told him I would make a portal for him. He said he wanted to go see Mickey Mouse. I waved my arm in pretty ridiculous manner. After waving for a bit, I managed to open up a fairly small portal on the wall of the house. I told Cliff he just had to take off running and dive head first into the portal. He backed up and took off running toward it. He dove, but missed the portal completely. He passed through the wall. I looked out the nearby window and saw him soaring through the air. He landed in the parking lot below and then took flight and flew off into the distance. I felt the dream slipping and I just allowed myself to wake up.

Series Details
In the dream series, "Friends," I join the DC counterparts of my waking life friends and tackle the dream world. You never know what we will be up to next, but I guarantee it will be one hell of a time. Stay tuned for more entries to the series!