Kumara

06/21/2011

1mg melatonin

- I woke up with an image of watching two people merge into one. A blonde-haired, blue-eyed "good" guy merging into a 'twin'. A narrative was running through my mind about how the one I was watching was a "man who visits brothels". I slipped out of the dream as my alarm went off and I received a clear message (it may have been in text on a dream-ticker) that "One is part of the All."



06/22/2011

1mg melatonin
200mcg huperzine-a (pm)

- I was walking down a street that looked like it was by 3rd and Pike/3rd and Union area in Downtown Seattle. To my right was a "JCP" department store (JC Penney?). I was surprised that there was one "just down the street from me" and I had only just noticed. (IRL there is one just down the street from me but I don't live in Seattle anymore.) I walked in and the merchandise was all really inexpensive, and extravagantly beaded and glittery gowns and hats mostly in black and gold. I had an idea to buy it all and then resell it "next year", for 99cents a piece, then realized that didn't make sense, I wouldn't make a profit because it cost more than that.

- I was in a kitchen talking to a woman who looked like Heather P. I think we were disagreeing about a philosophical view, emotional tone was more as though I were being lectured. She was kind of ranting about life being a long string of moments and waiting for the NOW that never comes. I was thinking that she probably wasn't making sense. I may have gone into
a small bathroom to hide from her.

- I was in a kitchen washing dishes with a female friend, telling her about the website Baggage Reclaim and how much it helped me when I realized I was emotionally unavailable,
dating emotionally unavailable men. I even shed a few tears. (This was related to a conversation I had with a friend the night before who seems to me to be pretty delusional about her marriage but at least on the right track to sorting things out. I wanted to tell her about how much the information on the site had helped me but it didn't seem appropriate.)

Note to self: I want to remember to process the emotional stuff (a la Ryan Hurd's suggestion) BEFORE I go
to sleep so my dreams aren't doing the crappy processing work.