LuluD49

This whole situation with D. is wrecking me up. Hardly sleep at all anymore.
Around 6 am tried a WBTB with following meditation. Couldn't relax then the guy next door gets a delivery (on Sunday morning!!). Had a short dream about my cat dying. He died ten years ago. But last night he died again in my dreams. Maybe I should take a break from everything. It's just too much right now

Read about the SSILD technique and tried it. Not sure if this will be a good one for me. Woke up without any alarm. Tried the relaxation cycle. Fell back asleep. Nothing. Tried again and again as I kept waking up during the night. Nothing to report here.
In the early morning hours I dreamt I was back in FL. I met all my friends again. It felt wonderful. We were at Winghouse. Suddenly we were all living in a medieval house (more like a castle). My friends all dressed up as if they would go to a re-enactment. They looked great. It was funny. They all were part of a procession and tell me to go with them. I just stand there and watch them. Suddenly I'm back at the house and the maidservant is telling me in an evil voice "Maybe they will never return from the procession!". I think something might be really wrong and something bad will happen to my friends. So I run through the house, open all these old fashioned locks and when I finally reach the last door I wake up.

Woke up around 3:20 am with terrible toothache. Took pain killers. Went back to bed. Was awake for two more hours. Rolling around not able to relax or fall back asleep due to my toothache.
Only remember a dream fragment in which my boss calls me and asks me about a project on which I'm working on in my waking life as well.

Crazy night. Wrecked myself up over D the whole day therefore no good sleep and no dream recall

Woke up around 4 am with a terrible headache. Took a pain killer, went back to bed.

I'm at an airport. Suddenly I'm at a hospital. Someone I know is treated there, probably my mother. There is this creepy guy walking down the hallway. He reminds me of Rumpelstiltskin from Once upon a time. So I follow him. He seems to be a threat to people at the hospital. I get my taser out and basically roast him. Of course a lot of people gather around us to see what is going on but I keep torturing him with the taser. Suddenly we all yell "Rumpel, Rumpel" and he literally evaporates and turns to dusk.

I like to listen to this one audio for lucid dreams on youtube when I fall asleep. Even though it hasn’t given me a lucid dream yet, it always helps dream of D and have good dreams.
1. Mum and me are at D’s place. Somehow it doesn’t seem to be right. Suddenly D leaves and Mum tells me to put my shoes on and follow him, as I still have some stuff in his car he should give me. So put on some red slippers with sequins and follow him down the hallway. He wears this cremecolor sweater he wore on our first night out and his blue sunglasses. The main door is open so I can see him getting in his car. For some reason I don’t want him to see me and I turn to the left where there suddenly is a stairway (this doesn’t exist in reality). But D sees me anyway and gets out of the car to talk to me. I don’t recall the exact conversation but it was really positive and flirty. I was very happy.
2. Something about D again
3. Another dream but I forgot
4. I'm on the bus with this girl, Regina, who used to go to school with me about 10 years ago. We talk and seem to be good friends. Suddenly we have to chance seats for some weird reason. My dad is in the back of the bus so we decide to sit with him. Mum is in the hospital? And he took time off from work to take care of me.

I'm so happy at least in my dreams D and I still talk...

Came back to my apartment after the Christmas holidays. This was my first night back at my place and I didn't sleep/dream well at all.
1. dream: I'm driving a car and obviously I'm going way too fast as suddenly I'm being dragged out of the curve. This dragging sensation is so strong, that I wake up

2. dream: A woman, I don't know her, presents me a greeting card with a stork on it. The stork looks weird and his beak is either missing or hidden. Later she asks me what a good reality check would be. And I tell her, well something was wrong with the stork. AND YET I DON'T DO A RC OR REALIZE I AM DREAMING!! She just shakes her head and says "I'll ask someone else. You don't know shit about lucid dreaming!"
And that night she was right, I didn't realize shit

Recently I keep dreaming of my grandmother. There is no real good reason for it, besides maybe the fact that she is giving my mother a really hard time right now.
The only thing I remember is that I had two dreams that night and grandma was in both of them.

Didn't sleep well, had a terrible headache.
All I remember is that I dreamt that I sent D another email, asking him to respond to me finally.
During my morning nap I dreamt of grandma visiting my parents. And grandma needed a new phonebook? So mother tells her this special phone book can only be bought at the airport around 200 miles away and therefore we need to drive there next Friday? Weird, I know.
But it gets better. I'm 30 and now I tell grandma "Thanks, no I have to spend my next weekend at boarding school because nobody will be home because of your freaking phone book.

Last night a guy I know was performing a chakra healing for D and me. All I can think of is what I can possibly do to help him overcome these obstacles
Dreamt of D again.
1. We are walking down a main street, probably in Europe.
2. My mum is mad at me because I don't go anywhere without my phone anymore. All I can say is "I need it in case D finally contacts me!"
3. D is telling me (as he once did in real life) that his company is paying for him everytime he needs to move somewhere else.
4. There is Nick, haven't thought of him in years, but for some reason he needs to be found and contacted.

Tonight I'll post and ask for help here.

It started off totally weird:
I'm at my former dermatologist (haven't been there in years) and I tell the aesthetican that we need to do something about my wrinkle on my forehead. For some (at this point unknown) reason I'm totally obsessed with plastic surgery and to look great. The doctor cuts me in my forehead and tells me this is the best way to make the wrinkle go. I'm totally ok with it. Suddenly I'm with my mother and she tells me we can't be late as we are flying to Florida now. It turns out we need to fly to Florida as we are looking for a wedding dress for me there - I'm getting married to D. Of course I am very excited and happy. Obviously D and me are friends again, and even better we are in love and getting married now. We arrive at an airport and my mother's bag is missing. I walk up to the TSA lady (as she's the only one in the arrival hall) and tell her about it. While she looks at our passports and tickets to figure out what happened I hear a terrible voice, almost like one of these public announcements. Don't worry about the bag or anything, nothing of all of this will happen anyway. I woke up crying.

In the second dream I was watching Nicky and David (which seemed to be one person?) in a youtube video?? It was very short and weird.

Woke up at around 7:30. Went back to bed around 8:30. Did a 20 minute meditation, felt good. My thoughts are with D and if there is anyway to save and fix the friendship. More and more I feel like I should give it a shot and ask for help in the beyond dreaming section here.

Probably one of the hardest New Year's Eves ever for me. R didn't call or at least text. There are no words to describe how much it hurts losing him. Not even talking anymore.
Felt pretty sick the whole day and night.
Back to bed around 10 am.
Dream: I'm walking along a road with my mother and other people we seem to know. It looks like we are walking home from the city. My mother and me seem to be fighting over R. Mother recommends to give him time to cool down whereas I am scared he will never talk to me again. These other people suddenly involve themselves in our conversation as well and recommend to contact this or that person for help. I'm angry. Why do these people talk to me about R? I don't want them to. I want things to work out. Suddenly we are in the car. Only mom and me. It seems like we are in the city close to where E (mom's friend) lives. We are driving. Someone on the radio is talking about a horrible car crash in that city. Mom turns over and tells me I was the victim in this crash??

That night mom dreamt she saw R again and tried to talk to him again but he didn't stop and run away when he saw her.