memorable

I am in a self-improvement or psychedelic video game of some kind. The start of the game should be really awesome and soothing, but I don’t remember it. All I remember is that the theme was space and the universe and the music was soothing yet energetic and upbeat. The reason was that my clock radio was playing Maudlin of the Well’s Part the Second (it’s a free downloadable great CD for those interested, check out maudlinofthewell.net). This wasn’t astral travel or anything, but still more than normally relaxing, and it felt symbolic, important.

I finish the video game or whatever, as the fourth track ends, as my mind equates it with the ending of a level. Then the credits sequence follows the start of the fifth track and its just as relaxing as anything, still interactive.
Some time into it, I make it to this giant wall on a metallic planet, with lots of little nodes on it. I have to follow the notes. I have little fragments of other things going on, especially that I met people in a house in between, but alas. As I climb it, I communicate with an old lady sitting at the far end of the well, that she should climb it too. It frustrates me a bit how slowly she reacts. I think I had known her in the past in the dream. Was she the elderly form of a love-interest? It wasn’t as much climbing as getting transported by the nodes, and it wasn’t as much a wall as… several sides of a huge cubical object. When I get up there and look out into the distance, I see a planet that is metallic like the one I am on. I immediately realize what’s going to happen, and literally clap and cheer. The planet is somehow the one I am one, but not, and I somehow know that it is captured by a fascist party, that I throughout the dream debated back and forth whether was nazi or that was too obvious and stupid a target for the occasion. I knew what was going to happen as if though I had seen it before, perhaps on the back of the jewelcase. The moment feels all romantic and perfect, I don’t think the woman ever made it up, because my mind had sort of forgotten about her, but everything about her as she was there pointed towards that she would make it up to witness the explosion, and that’s how I treat it. That far off planet, that is also our own, is blown up. These massive solar-flame-like beams hit the planet, and it explodes. This is somehow a good thing, the symbolic death of the fascist party. The explosion is one of those where you just see a single extending circle of energy. At first I thought it was disappointing, but then sparks started flying where the planet had been, and the lightshow really started. My vision was sort of zooming slowly in on the planet.

What happened afterwards I don’t remember. I want to think that yet again something new and amazing happened, but that might just be my recollection of the first time the “game” extended. All I remember was that when the fifth and final track was over, I woke up.

And this was sort of conceptually a video game, but felt like so much more, and I forgot about that fact.

That was a nice Christmas present.

05/12/10

I am in this game. (INNER AWARENESS) It’s one of those dreams where I dream I know the area and have been there before (INNER AWARENESS, beat the game before, So I am a small as a mouse, and I think I was summoned to where I was by Pinky and the Brain (INNER AWARENESS, FORM). I was following this zipline that probably had some every-day purpose since I was so small. I was together with a girl. At this point I didn’t know much about her. When I got up to an upper floor, I triggered this cutscene where a guy started talking. I never saw him, but the girl spits and say “pfft, you’re just a butterfly!” in a pissed off voice. We venture into a corner that is a dead end and back out. Then there is a memory lapse.

Suddenly I stand at the end of the game. I dunno, in the dream, I think the game is F.E.A.R.(INNER AWARENESS) It really felt so recognizable in the dream, as if though I should know what game it is. First, I am with a boy. I am possessed by someone, standing in an ominous plane, and I kill the boy, quickly and deadly. Then time jumps back and this time it’s the girl standing in front of me. This time I see her, I fall absolutely in love. In hindsight, she wasn’t that beautiful, but I felt in the dream as if though she had proven her worth as an admirable person in the memory lapse. I perceived her as highly intelligent and loving. Jesus Christ was I wild about her in the dream. Physically, she looked a bit like Hermione, but her hair was less flowing, and more boxshaped right around her face, from where it extended to long, fuzzy hair. She was wearing a slightly futuristic battle armor, slightly akin to a F.E.A.R. clone’s armor, and she had a rifle. She says something I can’t remember, but it was sympathetic and smart. But of course, shit happens. This is the same scene as before, like an alternate ending. So this time I kill her, while possessed. I don’t know who possessed me, but I sort of saw Paxton Fettel lie dead on the ground a couple a times, along with other bodies I don’t remember. It might have been his dying vengeance.

Now that was fucking painful, and if it wasn’t enough, I get to rewind and see the fucking last ending, where I kill her again, painfully. It was painful the first time too, not like with the boy. I slap her across the face repeatedly, with inhuman speed, until she dies.

God damn it. And I was one of the most happy people when falling asleep that night, what the hell.

Inner Awareness 42 Action 70 Form 53 Context 47

This one might scare some people. I am not sure what policy affects it. Viewer discretion is advised.

Grizzly in a psychedelic kind of way. Scary and ominous, but it brought me nothing but fascination.

I am in a bus with my mother. Apparently I have decided to kill myself, for I get off and abandon her, thinking forever, at the world's hotspot for suicide. There are people everywhere, jumping into the air and falling back down face first like swallows, practicing their jumps to the death. But some people have come here to live, too. They are peasants, and seem at ease, desensitized. Almost a bit as if though they have no emotion at all. It is an area ripe with nature, only a few huts house the inhabitants. Some of the peasants are cultivating a kind of yams that apparently grows from trees and falls like a lawn-dart, with a long needle-end, piercing your skull into your brain. While being deadly, they also taste sweeter than anything in existence. These are everywhere, constantly falling with a light crack, ominously. The people who have decided to die chase them merrily, pledging themselves to the ambrosia they offer until the fatal fall occurs. One stunningly beautiful and intelligent looking young woman offers me to come closer and taste some of hers. I am appalled, and yell that in no way would I do that, I could die, and how could she live with herself cultivating those things. She asks me, if I came there not to die, what then? I am silent.