Roseburg

In my dream, Scott was driving somewhere and almost ran off the road twice, the second time he almost ran us into a river. Then I looked around and there was a small office next to the river, and the river was part of the decoration in a larger room outside of the office. I spoke to a dream person and asked where we were and they remarked the river, and said that they love it and come down to swim at it all of the time. Then there were many dream people that almost seemed menacing. Excitedly I began to wake up in the dream and I realized that it would be fun to go and take a closer look at all of the textures, smells and tastes inside the dream. I turned to Scott and told him these people are just “Aspects of myself- watch!” I asked a younger girl what she represented and she refused to tell me, I became angry and told her “NO! I know what you are, tell me what you represent!” And grabbed her tightly and pulled her in so that I could get right into her face and yell it over and over again. She tried to turn evil and then fight me, but I kept the fear down and kept repeating that I knew she was representing something and to tell me what it was. Finally almost annoyed she said – "I am your younger self." Confused I said "what does that mean?" Exasperated she said – “ I am the aspect of You fighting your younger self!” Instead of being kind to her as I have been in the past to aspects I felt even angrier and told my husband to defile her since she was just a part of me that I did not like- at which point the aspect sense left her and she was only a container or projection and I woke up feeling sick and angry at myself for being such a horrible person. WTF is actually wrong with me? I have to go back in and call for her, we need to talk, I need to say I am sorry.

I had a dream that we lived in our neighborhood and my 9-year-old daughter kept sneaking out and playing in outher peoples houses in the middle of the night. I was upset with her, but not too much, I figured it was a phase she would grow out of and she would stop after I told her too. Then a pregnant lady that looks like my 9 year olds teacher came to my house and rang the doorbell in themiddle of the night, she was very angry, she was returning my diaghter to me and said "your kid was playing in my house in the middle of the night!" I appologized, she said "this happend all of the time and everyone is sick of it!" I appoligized agian and then she said "We all just want uyou to know that we think you are a terribal parent and we want you to leave!" "We don't want you in our neighborhood anymore!" I started crying because it was so mean and I said- why would you say that? am so lonely, maybe if you just let me walk with you guys or do things I wouldn't be so lonely and my girl would act better. She got angry and told me that she did not appriciate me trying to manipulate her! Then she aksed me what I was going to do about my girl. I picked my daughter up by her ears!?? Ans was tellign her sh eneeded to listen and I was so angry that now we had to move and no one liked us because she wouldn't stop doing what she did. I was sobbing and breathing hard in the dream and my 10 year old woke me up because she was worried- hearing me breahting so hard.

I had an amazing lucid dream last night. I suddenly became aware that I was lucid so I turned to the woman standing next to me and and asked - do you represent a part of me? For the first time in the history of ever one of my dream characters said yes. She said Yes! I said wow really what do you represent? She said "the truth of yourself." I said how does that work? She replied - Ask me anything. SO I said - I've been having an issue with a friend that is really bothering me, I dont agree with what they are doing ... And all of a sudden she yelled "THAT'S YOUR EGO!" Her face was angry and mean. I said , you don't understand this is really bothering me, let me tell you what is bothering me and I started telling her the situation again and she cut me off- She looked at me and screamed "That's selfish! That's your EGO!" Her face even more angry than before. I was taken aback and so I tried one more time. But this is really upsetting me..."NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! THAT'S SELFISH! THAT'S YOUR EGO!!!!" I was really freaked out and pretty embarrassed. SO I said ...I am sorry

Her face went back to normal and she looked all sweet again and she smiled at me and said ...."That's okay

" WoW! What a cool message from the universe! I totally understand now.

The second part of the dream - the devil was chasing me, I ran and hid and ran and spent most of the dream trying to get away from him. Finally he cornered me and I looked at him and saw his horns and suddenly felt sorry for him because I thought the horns must hurt. I reached up to touch them and my hand went right through them, I said " your not real!" He smiled at me and said, no I'm not.

After 2012 I began to lose interest, because I had no questions I wanted answered. I hit a wall so to speak. I am back. I have questions.

Have been having extremely vivid dreams lately due to the fact I have been drinking a little less Kava and recently enjoyed a legal treat in Colorado, which seems to make my dreams very deep and vivid. I took a nap this afternoon because I had a very sore back. In my dream I was a teenager again, and my friends were getting together to hang out. I didn't know I wasn't an adult because when a friend and I were hanging out in a bedroom I pulled out some weed shared it with her. I laughed and said "That's one of the reasons I like being a grown up!" To which she looked at me like I was crazy and said "Your not grown up." I looked in a mirror and realized that she was right, I looked like I was about 16. Then we went to an out building where people were shooting pool and listening to music, there must have been 100 people that I remembered from the past, I was lighter, happier and more jovial in the way I interacted with people. I'd run up to people and smile so genuinely and give them a hug or pat them on the shoulders, I was flirtatious too, the feeling that I could potentially make any of the guys fall in love with me. It was truly like being 16 again. I smiled at one guy who was very handsome and looked very Native American, he gave me some kind of complement, like "you are so cute!" and then looked me strait in the eyes and said "I miss this part of you." That's when I woke up, he was one of those DC's that seemed to represent a part of myself, he definitely acted in an unexpected way. I felt light and happy for a few hours afterward, but thought about how I did miss that side of myself, and how I should try to rekindle that outlook on life.

This is an interesting dream because I have been to this dream location before, and experienced many of the same feelings. I am in a city, I am in the older part of the city, in a place where the main road makes a T down the original main street of this town. Next to the intersection is an open field surrounded by kitschy tourist shops and a couple of mom and pop restaurants where the price of coffee hasn't changed since 1971. The old waitresses hangout outside the places in their starched aprons and "Flo" hats, smoking cigarettes and chatting about the past, how wonderful it was, how the times have changed. The times have changed, the city has moved on, sometime in the late 90's all of the business moved further down the freeway into a new part of the city, leaving these people and their memories relics of a past not quite too old to remember. I am there on a college trip, we are doing anthropologic studies. My husband is with me. I go and interview the people at the restaurant right at the T shaped crossroads. There are Splintering Wagon Wheels framing the ponderosa style deck, the restaurant hasn't seen a face lift since 1986. If you look down the old main street you can see a row of shops, grand windows now empty, now webby and dusty, some cracked some boarded. The local I am interviewing sighs * "It wasn't always like this, this was the place to be until about 1998, and then everything moved further down to the city. This place was a paradise, an escape in the summer for the high school kids, back in the 70's they would fill up the park and the bandstand, laying out in their bathing suits and spending their money at the shops. At Christmas the shop windows were filled with gifts and Christmas displays, people would line up and walk around the block just to see them all"- my interviewee look sad, reminiscing about a past that will never come back. He shows me a picture in a very 80's frame hanging on his restaurant wall, it is a picture of Christmas Eve, a huge "Macys day - esque" parade is going down the street, there are announcers on a float. People are crowding into the streets, bundled up in moon boots and hats with fuzzy balls adoring the tops. It is all so real, I remember people looking like this when I was a kid, the details are amazing, the children are in snowsuits with alligator clips on their mittens, there are balloons being handed out but they only float half high because of the cold. Then the picture comes alive like one of those pictures in Harry Potter, He is narrating the whole time - "Important people came to see the festivities, everyone was here- even Hollywood Stars watched them. I see Woody Allen step into the street holding his daughters hand (I realize in my conscience mind that he will marry her someday, and I think about how gross that is) I see his wife looking annoyed and rushed as they cross the street. The picture stops moving. I realize at this point that even though I am watching all of this, i ma actually pulling most of my information about this place and it's past from some sort of memory, being either my own or a collective one I have tapped into. I feel a sadness of the place that lost it's greatness, for the memories that were trapped there like a ghostly echo bouncing off of empty glass windows, moving though deserted diners and dying in the whispery grass where loud amazing summers had boomed through the field. I had a final thought : "I just experienced something amazing, I think I saw through someone else's memory." Then I slipped seamlessly back into the story line and had another dream about a friend falling in love with me, we lived in a crazy apartment complex where natural disaster had flooded it and broken it apart. I had a courtyard with a fountain that lit up. He told me he was in love, I said No, I am married, he took me on a bus and started driving like a maniac- I told him to let me off and he did. I felt bad because his sister was still on the bus with him. I went and told my husband about it. The dream ended and began a new one where I the details are so fuzzy now I can't piece them together.

I did it! This morning when I woke up at 9:30 am I decided to use the extra time before work to go back into dreaming and try to LD. I had an amazing dream earlier in the night where I was with a young boy in a bubble like spaceship and he brought me down to earth - a different version of earth, one where most the land was changed into small islands. We splashed down and motored over to a bank, I had the feeling that this used to be our world but somehow we had caused this change. Non of the DC's would allude to this though, they ignored my repeated requests for deeper understanding of the environment. The island was small and long with old Maine-esque type structures lining the shores. I could still check FB on my phone which was a great comfort to me, since I didn't feel totally cut off from my version of reality. I remember going into use the bathroom and the bathroom was on the front of the house I was at. It had long tall windows that looked out to the sea, I was about 2 inches from the water I marveled at the beauty of the glistening pebbles in the lapping water. 1st LD- I closed my eyes after several repeated attempts ( children and birds coming in and out of my room) visualized the floor of my room and it quickly turned into a dream scene I fallowed it until I could look up and construct the walls as well- at this point I happily told myself- I was lucid. I opened the door and flew out into the sky up into a leafy green canopy. It was a very shallow lucid, I could feel how close I was to the edge of being non-lucid. I decided to get to the point- I shouted to the Sky- "Tell me something interesting!" I heard nothing...I shouted "Tell me something important!"...I heard nothing... frustrated I began to wake up. 2nd-I visualized again and brought myself back into another LD I flew up through my house to the second floor (which doesn't exist in our real home)and there was a girl sitting in a bed by a window- she looked sick like "Pesentucky" from Orange is the New Black. I decided to ask her who she was- she wouldn't answer, so I took her by her arm and asked very bluntly and loudly- who she represented- she began to let off a bad vibe and get evil looking. I decided I wasn't deep enough in the dream to deal with nasty DC's yet I let myself wake up. SO I know now that I have to re do all of that work I previously did getting passed my ego's defenses - I had made it to a point where I encountered no more scary or demonic DC's - guess their back.

I fell back asleep around 8:30 am. And I had a dream that I was seemingly no longer an alcoholic but able to have fun and party if I wanted too. Then the dream spun into a divergence of reality and obvious non reality- my hallway filled up with water and the bottom dropped out to make it a short pool. I stood looking at the water, feeling a negative presence. I looked up and saw a demon that had black eyes and tried to say something to me but in anger that I was being deceived I yelled at it to go away. "You are a deceiver!, You have no control over me! Get OUT GET OUT GET OUT!" "YOU are Simply a thing of my mind- NOW DISAPPEAR!" And I blew it into dust with my mouth. I then wanting to prove to my self the utter silliness of the situation belly flopped into the pool, and the water felt like condensed air but not wet like water and I levitated myself a few inches from it. I realized the significance of the dream- that I could speak out, when before my voice would become muted and I couldn't hear my self shout. I gained some sort of power this way, mental or spiritual in some way. Between this and the next dream sequence I tried to wake my self up but I couldn't pull myself through to consciences and saw my physical body trying to separate from my spiritual body. It was not going to happen so I let myself slip back into dreaming. Next I remember realizing that I had been on some sort of wild drug and alcohol binge that I could not remember. I had sewed the sides of my arms like I had been sutured for a wound. I realized that this was bad, that I had been completely gone mentally when this happened. I went to my husband and said I know something happened but I cannot remember using or what I did what did I do? He explained to me that at first I was happy and energetic, almost crazy- thinking I could fly and making sounds like a jet engine, then it turned dark. I closed my eyes and I could see flashes of memory almost like circus posters first of the fun and manic episode and then the darkness that took over. He shivered and said that it was something special I could do that. He then said he would remove the stitches from my arm- my father called and I woke up.

I was tossed head long back into the insanity of a nonsensical dream seemingly out of nowhere.

I have been drinking Kava at night for about 3 months. It blocks alcohol cravings which is wonderful. It also blocks lucidity it seems. Last night I had a dream about my ex Mother -in-Law who takes care of my son most of the time (ugly ex story when I was too young to figure out how to advocate for my rights as a mother) It was most definitely a stress dream, not a lucid. I found out she decided not to bring him for his yearly month long visit and was beyond angry. Where I told her that she had made the wrong choice and I was going to talk to my lawyer and have him reinstated to me. She then disappeared and I couldn't find him and she was no longer a person but some sort of a shriveled up, sick spirit hiding from me. I never got the issue resolved in my dream.

After a dry spell of a year or so, I have been able to become lucid again, my dreams are extremely vivid with the help of lateral Kava Root imported from Hawaii.

I have been asking DC for a gift, it was a challenge. SO far 2 have given me something, but the first I can't remember upon awakening and the second gift I couldn't understand. My last dream was about flying through a valley with undertones of reminiscence for the 90's. The hills were singing and the songs where beautiful. The colors were deeper, richer and brighter than anything you would see on earth. Still I am having a hard time reintegrating into the lucid landscape again. Hopefully it will come back again as strong as it was a few years ago.

I had a very fast moving lucid dream that involved a lot of sex and fighting with DC's. I begin to get bored with these activities and wanted to focus on doing something important so I turned my attention to feeling different textures on things to see how real they were. I also started picking up things and tasted them, then I saw a refrigerator and very exitedly opened it and saw purple punch. I drank it strate from the container and swished it around in my mouth It was perfect replica of grape kool-aid at home in the waking world. I could taste the sugar and the tartness smoothly mixed together. I made a note in my mind to remember this for my monthly quest. Second thing I began to do was read things, I was frustrated with the text changing on them. I asked a DC why the text changes and they wouldn't give me an answer. But the DC did give a hint as to reading the text- the DC said you CAN read the text and have it make sense but you must do it very quickly before it changes. I experemented with that for a while and the DC was right. Still I wanted to understand why text shifts int hat world so I began asking DC's why and they didn't know or didn't ant to tell me. One finally said I cannot tell you "they" are watching. Excited I said who are "they" (because I ran into this answer once before when asking about God) and very adimitly I requested to meet one of these "Theys" I said I want to meet one of them, I am not afraid , show me one. I turned around and almost feel over someone and he laughed at me, I asked who he was and he said he was a number one. I asked why the letters change in this world. He said he couldn't tell me. He was black and was wearing a purple tunic that had a waffle impression in it but it was made of silk or something soft and shiny. He had an all knowing and humorous air about him, he was kind and nice and patient but would not tell me. I just sat near him and took in the different senses of the fabric he was wearing and the colors and the way he smelled, like clean linen. I turned around to ask someoene else about the shifting text and when I turned around he was gone. I was very upset and wanted him to come back. I headed off and decided to fly and watched the black outline of a plane fly above me for a while then landed on a city street. I decided I wanted to see what it was like to use a flat screen tv as a portal. I walked up to a display and began to place my hands through the tv, then someone grabbed my arm and I turned around - it was me! It was an excact replica of myself telling me not to use the portal. My replica convinced me to try to have sex with some DC's (I always seem to get side tracked from important work in this way) ...I began to hear my family talking in the waking world and my dream faded out.

3 drinking dreams in a row~ no awareness in my dreams that I should make better choices. Though I do realise in my dreams that I do not enjoy the feeling of being drunk I continue to drink and hide it in my dreams. Need to become Lucid during my next using dream and put a stop to this behavior. I have decided that next time I become lucid I want to ask the narrator to show me "The Clear Light of the Mind" the energy that is pure and the result of letting go of attachments and duelism. No aura colors- just clear light. The narrator or someone answered me last time i asked a question so I will ask a new question.

I've started taking Prozac for anxiety, for the first week I didn't dream at all- but the effects of the meds were so amazing and life changing that I struggled with the idea that maybe I wouldn't dream anymore. Same night I had a lucid dream. It started out as a non lucid, I was watching after someones bird, who kept getting out of my hands and running away, sqeezing into places and I was consantly looking for this bird. Finally I got sick of chasing him and said to myself I am dreaming I could do anything I want why chase a bird? To do a RC I stuck my finger through my palm and when it went through, I thought of a question I would ask the designers (of my dream). At the same time the idea of the color green or the representation of it kept bombarding me over and over agian. First I noticed that some of the senses were duller than normal, the air smelled stale, the colors wern't as vivid as they should have been and things wern't sharp. I wondered if it had something to do with the Prozac I was taking. However, I realized the opportunity shouldn't be wasted and began shouting at the sky "What is the signifigance of Green?" "Why did you pick green?" Why do you keep sending me green?" "What is the signifigance of green?" I yelled until I was begining to get irritated. When ever I attempt this quest no one answers. I thought that of course no one was going to answer agian and I stopped yelling and turned around where I practically feel over someone standing in back of me. I didn't know they were there, it was a complete suprise! I appoligized for tripping over him/her/it (it didn't seem to have a predominate sex) and it just laughed at me and said that it was okay. Then I asked what are doing here? and it replied "I came to tell why the green is here." I was so exited to get an answer I said "oh yes please tell me what is the signifigance of green?" It laughed agian and said " it is here because I wanted it to be" as if to say it was designed by this being this way to be asthetically pleasing to it. I said ..."Oh, ( A little let down by the casualness of the conversation) I began to feel a certian sense of fear towards the being. I ask if it was evil and it shook it's head and said "No I don't think so" with a smile, I persisted and said that it felt evil or scary and it agian stated "No, I am not either, I don't think". It didn't morph or change to meet my expectation that it was evil it continued to be calm and smiling. Then I woke up.

I remember one of my early lucid dreams before I knew anything about it. I started telling the DCs "this is a dream! This isn't real!" Some wouldn't respond, some would say something like "Is this some sort of eastern philosophy?" or "How do I realize this is a dream? Should I meditate every day? How long does it take?" They didn't get it. They still thought that it was real and that I was enlightened or something. I kept saying "No! THIS RIGHT NOW IS A DREAM! WAKE UP!" and they still thought that I was just a Guru or something.
Later when I started studying yoga and Buddhism I always remembered this dream and thought about that must be how the enlightened feel about the seekers. The spiritual seekers that go to see the Gurus all reminded me of these DCs. Funny...

Two nights ago I had a lovely lucid dream, I noticed everything, the world was very vibrant, I was talking to a man in my dream and he had a very "normal" name, I told myself that I needed to wake up and write down this name because it was different and not part of the dreamworld. I kept telling myself this I felt it was of the utmost importance and that the name was a real name, and that it had something important to do with waking life I kept reminding my self of this, saying his name over and over again. The DC's around me were different than the man, they lacked depth, he did not, he seemed very real and human. The DC's coaxed me after he left me and said "you will remember, don't worry, you will remember, this is so important it will stick and you will remember." I felt like they were trying to get me to forget, they were distracting me until the memory would slip from me. I woke up in the morning vaugly remembering the "real" man and I couldn't remember this important name, I felt irritated with those decietful DC's for stalling me until I forgot.