Schmaven's Dream Journal of Randomness

With my friend's car, I drive around town. He needs it back soon, so I get on a motorcycle and start going really fast. It's awesome. I'm mostly looking for a pawn shop so I can get a guitar for cheap, but don't see any. I end up riding the whole night and as the sun comes up, I find my mom at the University welcome center. She's trying to get me to live on campus a year before I start taking classes. I explain that housing is way cheaper off campus, and ride up the hill through lots of tents as she follows me. Apparently there is a big cult that has set up camp at the university, and they're kind of threatening. All dressed in the Sam white clothing, and full of pride, they all stare at me blankly as I ride along their camp. I pass them quickly but reach a dead end. Not for me. I dive and slide under a barbed wire fence to freedom! I see a road in the distance and make my way back to the relative safety of society.

Riding that dirt bike really stood out as a main part. Throwing it around, taking really sharp turns, power sliding all over, just an amazingly fun time.

I hear some noises in the kitchen and walk over there. I see a young lady throwing lettuce everywhere. Fist fulls at a time. Reaching deep into the bags of lettuce and giving it a full strength pitch. Sometimes at a salad bowl, other times, well, I'm not really sure what she is aiming for. Lettuce covers just about everything now, all over the counter top and floor, and even filling the salad bowl amazingly. I think I see some shredded carrots fly through the air at one point.

I wake up thinking, "I should eat more salads"
And then I did.

With a visual migraine, I lay in bed watching the pretty colors swirl around in fractal patterns of beautiful blues, reds, and yellow geometric shapes that grow and pulse with bright color. Suddenly I'm in a dream and am trying to use metal chop sticks on an electrical outlet... I get electrocuted of course and wake up.

Working at some new job involving answering the phones and a square table with a few people standing around it. We are putting parts together sometimes, answering phones other times. I decide not to wear the uniform - some tan shirt with a collar. There are some other people out of uniform also. We get to talking a bit, but don't get along. Then I find out that they are the highest corporate bosses in the whole company, and they are upset about me not being in uniform! I tell my coworker if he thinks it'd make a difference to get in uniform. He's not sure. I tell him to wait here and I'll be right back then take off sprinting to my locker. I'm not sure what my locker combination is. I think it's 27, 3, 33 or something with a 17 or a 29 in it. I manage to get it right, and open the locker. Inside, no uniform. It must be in my other locker... I leave the lean-two locker room and run across a field at night to another small lean-two with lockers inside behind a small counter / cafe / bar where someone is serving food or drink. This time my locker is not even locked. Inside is the lock, with the combo set to 1337. I leave it inside and grab my shirt. It someone takes my lock, I don't really care, I just keep my work shirt in here. I put it back on and return to my post after what seemed like 20 minutes of trying to get the first locker open.

Sitting in the living room on the couch by the fire, my friend is busy doing something with headphones on. I take my headphones off and they want to eat. I have a few shopping bags with various kinds of chicken and cabbage, but think it'll be too hot to cook it inside, even though frying it is the best. Rather than decide what to do, I pick up my guitar and start learning how to play. I don't remember the chords after 7 years. I make up what I think is the A chord, barring my first finger across the 2nd and 3rd strings of the 4th fret, and playing the 3rd fret of the 5th and 6th strings. I strum with my thumb as a pick, and then see a pick stuck in between the strings near where I'm strumming. Perfect! I use it and play the chord and then the individual notes of the chord to a peaceful rhythm. It sounds awesome. I find a chord diagram and stand up to play so I can see it, but without a guitar strap, I don't yet have the strength to hold the guitar and play it. The B chord is wonky. The diagram indicates that B is just the 1st and 3rd fingers on the 12th fret of the 2nd and 5th strings with the rest open. Seems too far along the neck to be right. Before I can play it, another friend comes in and does a really fast yoga routine right on the wood floor. Looks like a pro. I take in the moves for later reference: Cobra, Downward Dog, and others. Then I go back to playing with the too open because I'm always worried that everything I do is displeasing to others.

I'm driving my mom's car for the first time in a while, and am having a grand old time doing 360s on the snowy road, while avoiding crashing into the other traffic on the road. I turn up a hill to my right and the back end of the car whips around half way, I turn the wheel the other direction, slam it in reverse and put the pedal to the floor, causing the car to do 2 complete spins. I'm heading toward a big snow bank, so I turn the wheel the other way and keep the pedal to the floor. The car starts going back down the hill toward the road. It's really slippery, so I start turning about a hundred feet before the road. Sliding sideways pretty fast now, I keep my foot on the gas and power slide out into the main road. Another car is coming the opposite direction. I do some fancy maneuvering with the steering wheel to get out of the power slide and just barely avoid the oncoming car. Close call there. Now on the main road, I'm just driving normally. Another car comes, but it is really straddling the center line. I move over to avoid it, but it's too far on my side. I spin my car sideways to avoid a head on collision, and just tap the front headlight of the other car with the rear bumper of mine. I pull over into the nearby store to see if the other car is damaged or not. She has already pulled in, and the store owner and her are looking at the car. I get out, turn the car off, and walk up, seeing a bunch of fluid pouring out of the other car. It looks like radiator fluid. At least it's coming out of the radiator, it really looks just like water. The store owner says, "You might want to add some oil or antifreeze to it." The other driver looks at her, gets a really upset look on her face and yells back, "Really?!? Obviously I'll have to add more coolant to it! How could I not?" I notice a pipe has come completely loose. If that pipe could just be welded back on, she'd be good to go. I think about possible repair costs and mechanic labor. Looking at the pipe again, a new pipe might not be that expensive, it's a straight tube going between two fittings. So one pipe, one fitting, and an hour tops to weld it, can't be much more than $200. I'm relieved that it won't be very expensive because I'm broke. Although it's really ironic that I didn't crash at all while messing around, but only when I started to drive safely that something happened...

In a group of people, we are all taken prisoner. Our captors try to get me to give out information to help them capture and kill more people, but I refuse. They threaten to kill me if I don't tell them. I think that's a good reason to die. I get pushed down to the ground, and they threaten me again. I close my eyes and go to my happy place. I hear machine gun fire, and feel bullets ripping through my flesh. My shoulders, arms, legs and torso are all hit repeatedly, and I can tell the bullets pass right through me. I'm in shock. I can't open my eyes. I don't want to open my eyes. My visual awareness starts to swirl together and then get all whispy. Although my eyes are closed, even the glittering blackness begins to fade. Then I see horrible faces all around, like dark gray demons scowling and growling at me with menacing faces. I don't feel that I have a body anymore, just a consciousness. I generate my best mind of Love for all the demons, but it's pretty clear that regardless of what I do, I'm going to a very bad place right now. I pray for help, confident that no matter how late, there's always help to be had if I'm open to it and want it. The demons fade into a dark gray for a bit and then come back. This definitely feels like dying. It also feels like I'm going to hell or something like that, but I'm not terrified. I'm a little bummed out because I don't think I'll like it, but I think it's worth it to help everyone. With what seems like my last moment of this stream of consciousness, I sincerely pray for everyone to attain enlightenment. Suddenly it all seems hilarious. I get a few brief visions of Vajrayogini smiling at me. Then I wake up.

I take a picture of my mom's dog and cat as they are both sitting in the kitchen right next to each other. They both smile and look at the camera. The perfect shot. Funny how both the dog and the cat look alike, and also look like my dad's weird dog he has. My sister wants to see the picture, but when I look at it, they aren't looking at the camera anymore, even though I already took the picture. I look for another picture, but all I have are photos of the Simpsons in real life. Mostly weird ones, like a tiny animated devil sitting on a chair, with Maggie poking her head around the side, and Marge in the background. Or a photo of Mr Herman.

Suddenly I am on an airplane right next to an animated Mr Herman. Apparently he's a really fat guy, I'm not sure where his character comes from. He says, "I'm Mr. Herman!" and suddenly we're both falling from the plane. Now I'm watching us fall, hit the ground, but all cartoon like.

I stand up, the cartoon effect disappears, and there is a big bottle of whiskey in front of me. Kind of like Goldschlager, but with red bits instead of gold. Must be cinnamon flavored... An old friend next to me tells me I should have drank it earlier, but I can still drink it now. It seems like a tasty idea, so I reach for it, but wake up because I can't feel my arm, and my shoulder hurts. Arm =/= shoulder.

...All of this in an unplanned nap on the couch with the cat on me!

I decide to stop in to a place I used to work at. Arriving around 8:30 PM, I am included in an orientation group for new hires. I am a little surprised because I have yet to apply, but I do need a job so I just go with it. We get a tour, and the woman tells us about the company. Only lasting 15 minutes, I decide to go buy some food before the store closed at 9. Out on the floor, I see some old coworkers from CSU, Robert and Alberto. I am completely famished, so I talk with them as I browse for food, mostly looking for fruit. They seem to only be interested in distracting me, and not talking, so they leave. I end up eating a pound of cheese.

Now I see some night crew people starting to arrive before the 9pm shift. I walk to the back room like I work there to see if I can find the night crew manager. I'm wearing a jacket and carrying a bunch of things, too much for comfort. I find my old locker, still with my things in it from 3 months ago, and stuff my sweater and a bag into it. As I hang up my winter coat, I see that I have 2 winter coats of the exact same type. That's strange. It must have been because I ripped the side of it. I don't remember ever having 2 though...

The night crew introduces themselves to me. There are now about 20 people on the crew. Compared to 6 when I was working there. The manager tells me he's called Justin, and then we all just wait around in the break room for the shift to start. Justin lays down on the bench seat and keeps encroaching on my space. I keep moving over until I have to stand up. He goes even further so that his head and upper body are not even on the bench seat anymore. There is a chair I was going to use that he now is using as a pillow. He moves around and it doesn't look comfortable at all. I move the chair out of his way and he looks upset at me. "Well are you using it as a pillow, or is it hurting your neck?" I ask him. He laughs, and everyone gets up for the start of the shift.

I clean up the back room, making to throw out some plastic and recycle some cardboard, but the trash barrel is 30 ft tall. I try to throw it into the barrel, but it's just too high, and the plastic doesn't throw well. Someone starts using an industrial vacuum, but is having trouble with it. I'm not sure they know how. I remember that's the same one we just got when I quit. Now I see that the 30 foot barrel is just several barrels stacked up to clear the floor for vacuuming. I walk to the receiving dock where several people are standing around, getting ready to unload the truck. One guy puts a climbing harness on so he can climb up a 20 ft pallet, and attach ropes to unload it with a crane. That looks like the best job to have! Too bad I quit earlier, now other people are having all the fun. But I seem to be back on the team now, so it's all good.

I've been injured, and somewhat maimed by machinery or something like that, and just stand there, bleeding and in pain. Suddenly a woman comes out of no where and kisses me upside down. With her upside down, floating through the air, her dark brown hair hanging down below (above?) her. As she kisses me (just a peck) I feel some energy pass from her to me, and heal my wounds, eliminate my pain, and also change my color. I got a lot more tan with each little kiss, and could see the color change spread down my arms and hands. I don't recognize this woman yet, but I feel like I know her.