Schmaven's Dream Journal of Randomness

There are spiders using telekinesis type powers to propel themselves rapidly around my house, stringing strong webs as they go. I chase after them, trying to clean the webs away and close doors to keep the spiders out of the other rooms in the house. One spider in particular is really loud, and is yelling to the other spiders. He's giving a sales pitch, talking about how he has found some high quality katana swords in several colors, he has blue, candy red, and black right now, starting at $1800. They sound cool, but I don't trust the spider.

I turn a corner and find myself in a coffee shop, cornered by a salesman and woman, trying to sell me their book that tells how to make thousands of dollars a day from home. I know that crap is all a scam, so I get up to leave, but am blocked in by several tables and chairs, stuck in the corner. I squeeze by, and the salesman makes an offer for me. If I buy the book for $45, he guarantees I'll get $500 today, and if not, I can return the book for a full refund. In the stupor of the dreamworld, I accept his crazy offer and pay him the $45.

I wake up briefly and notice that infomercials are on TV, so I turn the TV off and go back to sleep.

I have a job where I have to cut the tails off of lobsters to sell them to people... I am shown how to do it, but really don't want to do that to any lobster. It looks too painful. I look back at the lobsters and see through the normal reality of things. I see a female lobster as in actuality a fairy riding a red dragon through the ocean. Then a male fairy, also riding a red sea dragon comes over and gives her a dandelion puff flower. They pass it between themselves using a dried cone flower, and swim off into the sunset. The guy jokingly launches a jet of water at her, pretending to try and soak the dandelion, but always misses.

I am flying a jet pack! Zooming through the air for at least 2 solid hours, I fly from southern VT to my mom's house. I run out of fuel in her front yard. The jet pack uses the final bit of fuel in one quick burst, sending me 30 ft up in the air then dropping me like a rock. I hit the ground hard, then walk inside and refuel the jet pack. I use the jet pack to hover over a chair, a sofa, a desk, and a bed that are in my way in a hallway. I get to a room and see a young girl looking into the window. I go up to the window and yell loudly, startling her. "Did I scare you?" I ask through the glass. "Yes" she nods. I feel bad for scaring her.

I crawl out of the room through a small chamber with cinder block / concrete walls and a dirt floor. It's way too small for comfort, and there are other people ahead of me. I'm not the first to have to go through this, so I follow the others. The room gets smaller, so I have to crawl on my back and pull myself along grabbing the ceiling. There's no going back now. At the exit, a beautiful woman is giving her milk to everyone. Kind of unusual, but it seems to be the only way out of this room, and it isn't optional. I crawl toward her on my back to get out. She shakes her boobs at me, gives me a hj, and lets me go. Very unexpected!

I'm trapped inside a long building with a tornado approaching. I'm safe in here, but I learn that there is a group of people outside. They're trapped out there, and in great danger. So I draw a picture that turns into reality - covering all the ground in foam. They are imposed on the picture, but the ink for their eyes bleeds because it is fresh. I add a vicious zeebra/dog just for fun. Then I flood the world with invisible water, and drop the water level down to my chest. I can breathe underwater, but just in case others can't, I drop the water level again to below the entrance to the safe building.