Schmaven's Dream Journal of Randomness

In a crowded section of New York City, flames erupt from the sewers as Satan himself rises from hell and bursts through the pavement of the road ahead of me, sending cars flying through the air and people running and screaming in all directions. He has a gang of demons around him, all made of flames, forming a painful looking perimeter of death and destruction around the Devil.

I am holding a dark gray cat, almost black, with white on its face and some of its paws I don't remember picking it up, but it seems to like being held. I cradle it on its back like a baby in my left arm, against my side, and hold its tail out in front of me like a cannon. I aim it at the Devil and make my best "Pew Pew!" noises. Almost like a "pshhyeeeoo!!!" As I make my very best laser noises, bright blue laser beams shoot out of the cats tail. They move through the air at about the speed of a jogger, so Satan easily dodges them.

I run toward Satan, aiming the cat's tail a few paces ahead of him and with "Pew Pew Pew Pew!" shoot four slow moving lasers out of the cat's tail into Satan's path. I almost got him this time! With great enthusiasm I go wild with my best "Pew Pew!" noises, filling the streets and alleys with blue lasers. 'If I shoot lasers everywhere, I can't miss.' I tell myself.

Satan dives behind a sky scraper and out of sight. I pre-fire a few laser blasts from the cat's tail down the next street in case he tries to run for it, and then run down the alley to cut him off before he can get away. He gave me the slip somehow, and I haven't got a clue where to find him now. I find myself at a busy intersection, looking every which way as traffic flows through. Next to me is a fire fighter and a cop. They look at me, then at the cat I'm cradling in my arm, and then at how I'm holding the cat's tail out in front of me with my other hand, and then look back to me.
"Check this out" I tell them as I aim the cat's tail in a harmless direction and say "Pew Pew Pew!" sending three bright blue laser beams slowly through the air.
"That's pretty cool" they tell me.
"I know, right?!"
"Aren't you going to film it or take a picture or something?" The firefighter asks me.
"No, I don't think anyone really needs to know about this. Plus I've gotta get Satan"
They both give me an understanding nod, and I start walking away as I think about where to look.

I got home early, before everyone else got up, and rather than go up to my room, I decide to nap downstairs on the couch. The stairs are loud, and I don't want to wake the dog and have the dog wake everyone. It's just an hour and a half before everyone normally gets up, so I'll just nap on the couch until I hear someone, then I'll go to my room and go back to bed. That's my plan.

I find myself walking down a hallway, and come to an opening where I stand with a big group of people around a fountain or some other centerpiece. It occurs to me that I was just asleep on my couch, so I am definitely dreaming right now. Everyone looks at me. I look at everyone. The DCs look oddly familiar, but all just wait for me to do something. Rather than do anything, I just generate a loving feeling toward all of them. Then I make it stronger. I look at each DC again and feel a blissful tingling all through my body. It's like the more I love them, the stronger it gets. I enjoy this feeling for a while, then wake up.

Well that was nice, but I'm still tired, and it's still early, I think I'll close my eyes and rest until I hear someone again.

Now I'm standing up in my living room, and my sister (who is out of state) comes in, but 10 years younger than she is now. She's really upset at me for some reason. I'm not sure why. But I am sure that I was just laying down, and that she's older now, so I am definitely dreaming. I let her yell at me as I enjoy the relaxing peace of being in a dream where there is no reason to be offended, upset, or defensive about anything. I generate some love in my mind for my sister, and make it stronger and stronger until everything feels just amazing. She calms down, stops yelling, and I wake up again.

I hear someone in waking life this time, and get up to move to my hammock in my room. I wonder if my plan to get up and move when I heard someone was the main reason I had these lucid dreams, or if it was just due to the easy circumstances within the dreams themselves such as remembering I was just laying on the couch and now I'm not, or that my sister is in fact older than a toddler now. Maybe the plan to wake up at the first sign of noise put me in a lighter state of sleep that is more conducive for lucid dreams. I don't know.

I'm scaling a steep cliff on the side of a mountain fortress with a large group of medieval soldiers seeking to take over the castle up ahead. It is a difficult climb, and all progress is halted as the defenders unleash a massive deluge of boiling hot oil that spashes down the cliff. Fortunately, it's steep enough that we just press ourselves flat into the rock, and the oil flows just over us all, missing us by just a few feet. Then some sort of god flies out of the castle and levitates above the stone walls as he laughs at us. He thinks it is barely worth his concern, but nevertheless throws a few fire balls at us. Several people are killed instantly.

He looks over at me, and now seems threatened somewhat. With a spin, he disappears from sight, and I am immediately teleported to a small town inside the castle walls. Somehow we breached the castle and there is utter chaos as people are running everywhere. It turns out everyone is running because there is an army of Djinns (the kind from the show 'Supernatural') - a kind of genie that puts people to sleep, fulfilling all their wishes in their dreams while draining their blood and killing them in the process. Just one is scary, but there are over a hundred here.

I am immediately surrounded by about a dozen of them. I'm not quite sure what to do about this. Before I come up with a plan, one of the female Djinns (and quite an attractive one I may add) tells the others to step aside and watch. She holds out her hand and uses telekinesis to spin my body around. I want to fight it, but just go limp as all my muscles relax. She softly lays my body on the packed dirt ground and closes my eyes all with telekinesis. This is the part where the nice dream is supposed to start. I'm given a moment to choose, but can't decide what to dream about.

The moment is gone, and there will be no pleasant dreams for me apparently. Since the Djinns are psychic, they know that I'm awake in my body, even though my eyes are closed and I cannot move it. I can still feel everything. They take delight in knowing that I'll be able to feel all the pain of being slowly drained of blood until I die, with nothing I can do about it. I feel a sharp stabbing pain as a large gauge needle is roughly stabbed into my arm.

Rather than languish in pain as I am slowly killed, I imagine that I'm someone else. Someone very alive, and experiencing blissfully pleasant feelings. I know it's not real, but I decide to believe it anyway because the more I do, the more real it becomes, and the more this excruciating painful death seems like a distant memory than a current reality.

Right before I fully switch to being someone else, I wake up.