Schmaven's Dream Journal of Randomness

I'm in a driving car, with my mom's boyfriend, on our way to see my mom's new house. We drive through some windy roads through the woods. Going around a familiar corner, I tell him, "I was going 50 mph on this road one time, and this corner nearly killed me!" as he slows down to 25 mph for a sharp bend in the road. "Don't tell me stuff like that, that you haven't told your mom." he tells me. I say to him, "Alright, it was when I was learning to drive though."

Ahead of us, I see a huge hill, on top of which is a house. "That's it." he says as we drive closer, and pull up the driveway to it. It looks very similar to our old house [our current house], only the hill it is on is very steep. We have 1 neighbor very close by, within spitting distance, but not another house in sight otherwise.

I drag my bags up to the top floor where my room is and begin unpacking. While moving some things around, I notice that the house is missing a large portion of its roof, but not the part where my room is. I think to myself, "I guess we'll just have to go to this side of the house when it rains"

I look out my window, and see our goat, whom I named, "Turd Furgeson" walking on some horizontal trees, hanging 30 feet over a 50 foot drop to a steep hill with loads of trees. He walks casually very far out onto the limbs, and eats the leaves out at the end. I yell to my mom to "Look out the window at Turd Furgeson!" and reach for my camera.

I turn my camera on, and look back out the window just in time to see Turd Furgeson return back to solid ground. "I'm glad he didn't fall" I think as he starts wandering around our yard again.

I go outside to visit the goat and the horse, and see my mom shoveling a bunch of horse poop, and piss drenched hay down one side of the very steep bank near our house, the side opposite of our neighbor. Not seeing the horse or goat, I decide to go for a jog down the road to explore the surrounding area. Finding nothing but dense woods, I decide to turn back and head home before it gets too dark.

On the way back, I run into our neighbor, who immediately gives me the creeps, and asks to see what we've done to the house. He follows me up the driveway, and acts kind of weird. Once we are at the house, my mom comes over and our neighbor tells her that we are being too loud. I look to my right and see his house less than 30 feet away from ours, with a shared yard space in between them, and less than sound-proof looking walls. My mom also has a bunch of friends and relatives over, as well as my ex-step aunt and uncle.

My mom and I are inside the house, as everyone else is outside in the yard, clearly visible through a double glass door that is open. My aunt tells everyone to pose for a picture in the back yard. I watch from inside as everyone lines up for her. My mom tells me I should go join them, but before I do, my aunt and uncle, with four of their friends pull guns on everyone and tell them not to move or they'll be shot.

I run upstairs to my room to think of some sort of plan for what to do. My mom doesn't have any ideas, and stands in our living room frozen. I go back downstairs and we decide to light the wood stove on fire to cause a smokey distraction, and make them think that the house is on fire. I go over to the wood stove, and pull two wires out of the wall, accidentally shocking myself with them a few times. I cross them in the back of the wood stove, causing sparks. Soon, it is on fire, and smoking. We grab a nearby chair and catch it on fire as well, then put it on the back porch where it sends up a bit of smoke, but then goes out relatively quickly.

My aunt and someone else walk by the back porch and point their guns at us. My mom yells to them, "Just shoot me and get it over with!" I tell her, "Don't say things like that, you'll probably get shot" My aunt then fires three shots right next to us, before walking back over to her hostages, without saying a word.

I go back upstairs and rummage through my drawers for all the bottle rockets and smoke bombs that I have. I also grab a knife with a hammer end on the grip. I look outside my window. It is dark outside now, and there are 6 people with guns holding about a dozen others hostage. I go downstairs and tell my mom, "I'm going to light the bottle rockets from one side of the house, then run in from the other side of the house and knock someone unconscious with this knife." She doesn't want to do anything at all.

Slightly frustrated that it will be just me, I go back upstairs to my room to find my night vision goggles so I can see where everyone is more clearly. I grab them, then go outside, and creep up nearby in the woods, where I can see the hostages still standing at gunpoint.