Schmaven's Dream Journal of Randomness

My attention is immediately caught by the oven timer making its usual obnoxious beeping sounds. It is an older oven model, with analogue clocks on it, and gas burners. Mostly black, with white and brown accents. I go over to it to see what is done, but there is only a single pot of soup on the stove, and it is not yet done. I look to see how to turn the beeping off, but see no off switch. Each oven burner has a mechanical timer dial, so I check each one individually to make sure they are in the off position, and they all are. Strange.... I look again to the main control panel on the far side of the oven, the part that sticks up a few inches from the back, but all the dials there are in the off position as well.

My meditation teacher is nearby and tells me that "someone was making french toast, and left without turning the timer off." Alright, "then there must be a way to stop it" I think as I decide to turn the whole stove off using the unit's off switch on the top left. Before I turn it off, I check again to see which burners are on, and at what level they are set to, so I can put them back as they are when I turn it back on. It is just the soup burner, set to medium heat. Easy enough, *flick* the switch goes off, the burner stops, but the beeping continues!

I really don't like the beeping, and thought for sure this would end it. It is still definitely coming from the stove somehow. I turn it back on, and my friend Tim turns the gas on high for the soup, then does nothing else. I turn the dial to the ignition position as I look away to shield my face from any possible explosions, and with a large poof, all the gas ignites. We laugh at the explosion, as I turn the flames down to medium level.

Looking away, I see a group of janitors far outside through an open door, all standing in a circle, stretching in the grass before they go to work. "I need to stretch" they remind me. I start stretching my groin, and glutes, but it really isn't very nice to do with that awful beeping penetrating my ear awareness. "I'll just unplug the stove, that should stop it."

Getting up from the kitchen floor, I look behind the stove to see where it is plugged in, it is not the plug next to the stove unfortunately, but directly behind it, rather low on the wall. "I'll have to move the stove out to do this" Positioning myself to get a good grip on the stove, I wake up.

Now laying in my bed, I still hear that loud, high pitch beeping sound! How is that possible?

IT IS MY **** CELL PHONE ALARM! (exactly the same beeping)