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I know I had many dreams but I only recall one. To start the family and I were at my Granny & Papa’s (a place long since gone in RL). CF (my ex-husband) showed up and needed a ride. He asked to spend some time with the boys so I told him that he could come with us to ‘the Houston house’ (another place long since gone). This made TH angry but he conceded for the boys sake. When we arrived it was apparent the house had been left to sit, it was unlived in but generally clean, it was on the market. There was a big beautiful fluffy dog locked in the master bathroom and it had soiled the floor. There was urine and diarrhea everywhere. I remember thinking that I would not be cleaning it because my mom and stepdad were the ones to leave the dog there. We were trying to figure out what to make for dinner but the fridge and pantry were empty. CF was following me around. He was not really spending time with the boys. He seemed to be trying to make a move on me. He was making himself too at home. It made TH angry. It made me uncomfortable and I wanted him to leave but I realized he would be stranded in Houston. I was hinting at him needing to leave. He had a friend come pick him up who was obviously a fellow drug addict. We were making dinner.

I had no recall over night. I only slept approximately 4 hours.

I took a midday nap. I fell to sleep in mantra. First I dreamt I was at SB’s house at a friend gathering. The layout was strange. TH (my husband) was in the shower. He broke the shower curtain and was asking for a friend to come help him because I’m too short. I went to retrieve said friend from the kitchen. There was a door to the kitchen. Someone locked it. TH stood on the other side, banging on it, repeating his own name in a grotesque manner. SF (our middle son 6yo) was terrified. Someone looked out of a window at TH and they too seemed terrified. My heart sank.

I woke and fell back to sleep again. TH and I were going to an event at the college. We sat in a large crowded auditorium. He sat with the students, I sat with the professors. Someone nearby had a boom box. We all danced. I was nervous, which is unusual, I like to dance even in crowded rooms. I wondered if TH was watching and if it made him happy to see me dance again. My side of the auditorium was dismissed. I couldn’t find TH. I went to the truck to wait for him. Inside the truck I found my middle school boyfriend, Matt. He responded as if we were together and he had been the person I attended the event with. I felt as if I was cheating but memories of my husband started to fade. I had the thought that I was only with Matt because I was lonely and I felt generally unhappy with the situation. I wanted to go home. I wanted to find TH. I asked him to take me home. The truck began moving but no one was driving. A blonde women with her hair in a bun and a dress on came to the window, she had the distinct look of an elementary school teacher. She spoke into a walkie-talkie, presumably notifying the police of our driverless vehicle. I hopped in the front seat and tried to drive. I’ve never been able to drive in my dreams. I ended up going the wrong way down a one way street. The city we were in was decorated with Christmas lights.