nightmare

my sister calls me. I answer the phone and say, "mom's dead, isn't she?"

I appeared alone in a forest for her funeral, crying. there are clear tubes wrapped all through the trees and then music started playing. the music was absolutely beautiful, like nothing I had ever heard. when the music started playing, this liquid started flowing slowly through the tubes and changing colors. I started crying hysterically at this point because she was the liquid and she was there, right in the forest. I heard my mom say that she was happy she had a brother who set this up for her.

my grandmother appeared and I wanted her to see what I saw so I played the tape again. the music was really weird and off and my grandmother was confused so I started trying to rewind it for her, but she disappeared. I cried more and more in the forest, then something told me I could switch places with her. I almost did because I couldn't bear it. but then I thought of how hard it would be for her in my place and I decided against it.

notes: my grandmother died a little over a month ago and my mom doesn't have a brother.