squidnapping's journal

Paul Rudd’s coming over for a date with me. I’m serving up dinner for the family: fish and chips, sweet corn on someone’s plate, another plate got a cup of tea but it’s inside half a lemon or is half a lemon/lime, maybe that’s uncle Michael's. I put the plates on the floor of the living room, so we can all sit together. Paul arrives. I put our plates so Paul and I will be next to each other. He disappears off to the loo. I realise I haven’t started eating, after several minutes, though others have almost finished. I go get a plastic fork and start eating. After one thing, I eventually go for a second thing and notice only one prong is left on the little white fork. I show Jesse and Paul, and giggle. So yeah Paul comes back during that time and he says he wasn’t able to flush properly and sorry he took so long but that’s why(?) and also sorry but he’s left something in the toilet. I look to Dad to explain as I start to say “sometimes that toilet..” or something, not really sure and/or not wanting to be the one to say. Soon Paul and I go off somewhere to be alone and have our date properly.
There’s Paul and me and another person, like blind Jenna from Pretty Little Liars. We’re on a hill, near a little waterfall, and there’s a wooden fence like for a sheep paddock. Maybe Jesse is there too, at some point(s). Before too long, things are going wrong. Paul doesn’t seem to be enjoying himself. Granted, I’m 20 and he’s 50, and I’m sure we both knew it would be weird. But I’m making an effort to enjoy myself (actually no duh I’m automatically having the time of my life iTS PAuL RUDD) and to help him enjoy himself, but somehow things don’t go smoothly. I just remember getting to the point where he was (or they were) offering me/us (me and Jesse?) a plastic case of little bags of nuts and like things, and I was suspicious from the start and trying to read the labels but they looked normal and I couldn’t see how they’d have injected anything bad into them - the bags were whole. So I tried to at least be polite and not let on, until he said something about having everyone we know die or have something happen from eating those, and that was of course the last straw, so I/we argue back to him/them, and at some point not too long later Paul and I are talking about what went wrong on this date and we’re talking about starting over and I think we wonder why I’m being so optimistic and forgiving or why or how we reached this decision and I say maybe it’s because I’ve been trying to make it work, not giving up - or something like that.
So we try again. We go the other way from the house this time, walking along a grassy part near a river. Things go well, and he actually likes me. At some point I link my arm through his - my right, his left - and ask him if he’s having a good time. I just love being with him, and like knowing he too is happy while with me. When I link our arms, he’s noticeably a lot taller than me, the top of my head coming up to about his shoulders, perhaps a tiny bit above. I’m looking up at him. At some point we must be talking about how we’re having a good time this round and I say it could be because we’re going the other way, along by the river. The river is just nearby, in the background, behind us. We are walking along and up a bit, the long-grassed ground is sloping gently.
We’re in a building, like quite a fancy house, carpeted, upstairs, quite a lot of space, and lots of people there, for an event like, a party or a convention. From some point we know it’s [our annual summer camp], but not at first I don’t think. I'm with Paul at first, and maybe Jesse and/or others too, and then Paul crosses the room through the crowd and I quickly look after him and try to follow where he went, before he disappears. He no longer looks like Paul, he’s now an older, shorter, wider man, with white hair, a black blue and pink horizontal-striped t-shirt, or that’s how I imagine him because he looks like someone you’d see like that, someone you can’t easily imagine without a fanny-pack.
Then I remember we're looking at a house, and I'm excited because Paul and I have decided we're going to buy it, we're going to get married and live here. I'm so happy and excited and content with everything. We're about to say we want the place but just before us another person says they'll take it. Oh well, we think, we can find another place.

When I woke up from this dream I was genuinely very sad that I was not with Paul Rudd. (