squidnapping's journal

I’m in bed with Mum lying next to me, Adam is in the room too, it occurs to me this is strange, I look at digital clock, it says 7:18, and then look away, look back, it says 7 but the rest has been wiped away, I realise it's a dream. But I absolutely find it impossible to move properly, to move my arms or even turn my head. I start to hear my 9:20 alarm, and try once to sit up and turn it off, only to realise I am still in the dream. I consider that it isn't even really going, and I am just imagining it. (Shortly after I do wake up to it. I snooze it and go back to sleep.)

Then I’m in the main living room, and I crawl across the floor, I know I’m dreaming, and I decide to lie down on the carpet and close my eyes to go into another dream, a deeper level. After a few seconds I decide against it, get up and go to the front window. It’s darkish out there, dark twilight. Dad I think is out there. I phase through the glass, and during this I’m telling the dream, I don’t remember in what words, but to feel longer, to put more time into the dream, to experience it longer than it really is. I sort of float down to the ground, then I start flying up towards the sky. I remember wanting to do the saving-someone-from-aliens Task of the Year. I swim through the air like it's water. As I fly up, I address the dream, state rules for how it’s going to run: when I get to space, a voice with tell me I’ve reached it (so I won’t keep flying on into oblivion, coz that s**t’s scary); and I’ll have lights put in my eyes so I can see. I can tell when I get to space, because it's dark and because the earth is below me now; still, I instinctively grab a small ball that I see floating past me, thinking it might be Earth. Part of space lights up after I give the command for the dream to give me lights in my eyes; I say “thanks!”, even though the light isn't from my eyes. I recall I’m supposed to find an alien spaceship, so I choose what’s near me that already looks like a spaceship and perhaps accuse it of being one, or label it one. I do see some aliens on it: little stuffed toys, kinda like the little green and blue alien on Toy Story. However the ship is probably two feet across, and the aliens are smaller than my hand. I need to find the human, so I open a little compartment and pull out another alien creature. I figure that’s just a suit or disguise that the human is wearing. I take the little creature and place it on something else floating near me, and will it to change form. It changes a little - becomes thinner and grows blonde hair - but I’m thinking I need to have it turn into some specific person or I won’t be able to count the task. Then I notice Abigail Breslin standing nearby, she says something but I don’t remember what, might not even pay attention, I just point at her and then say ‘turn into Abigail Breslin’, and then my alien becomes a second Abigail Breslin. Now I have my human, I banish the spaceship, “banish!” I say as I point at it, and I start to threaten “or I’ll destroy you” but then it disappears or zooms off - kind of a cross between the two, like it starts to disappear before it shoots away. Then, aware I need to get the kid home or the task won’t be complete, I’m a bit fearful that I’ll wake up too soon. I ask the girl where she lives, to show me. As I fly her down, I can see on the earth the places like on a map, and we’re above the US which is lucky coz that’s where she’s from, and she points out which state, might start with a K, and I follow her finger as I fly us down; “that’s my town; that’s my street; that’s my house right there.” It’s pretty easy to find, doesn’t take long at all. I’m quite excited coz I’m almost done. We get to the ground, and I take the girl to the house, and her dad's working in the garage and she runs in there. Anyway, my task complete, I enjoy the street a bit more, it’s got nice houses, wide white driveways and red doors. I think it’s here I see Mum, and I am just about to go and try do something else, but after seeing her I wait a moment and then go and hug her, feeling i can't pass up the opportunity to hug her, it’ll feel real and I haven't hugged her in a while.

Go into ‘Nana’s house’, call for her but she seems to not be there, it’s dark, (it’s basically Kandy crescent house, but not fully,) I go around looking for something, but weird things start happening: in the dim light I can just see a chest of drawers come sliding down the hallway, and either it bumps into me or I kick it; I kick it and the drawers fly out. I call out “who’s there?”, “Nana?” and “stop it!” Soon I start to walk down hallway to leave, and more things happen, things just fly around, I might scream, I hear noises, and I might shout at them. I think I still ask about Nana; do I ask if she’s here, if she’s ok? I know I need to leave this house. Outside, I’m flying, and it soon occurs to me that I’m dreaming. I’m aware of this for a few seconds before I decide to actually stop what I’m doing and do what I want to do. Then I’m like, ok, be lucid, I’m lucid, and then I go down on the ground and I think of eating lettuce, a basic task of the month. I basically am on a mission now, I expect a fridge is where I’ll find lettuce so I find a house, actually I think I go back into the same house, but I am hoping it will look different to before, and it does. I go to the kitchen, open the fridge, on my way to there I'm sort of rushing, thinking I want to get it done fast before I lose focus and forget or wake up, but then the rushing means I’m not even experiencing everything I’m doing, so I force myself to slow down, and think about what I’m feeling and seeing as I open the fridge, hoping to kind of move at the same speed as my body, not letting it get ahead of me. I seem to remember seeing carrots, but don’t think I do anything with them. I decide to open a tub of margarine and scrape some up in my fingers, hoping I can smell and taste it strongly and be anchored more in the dream. I sniff it but can’t smell it, it barely has a scent. I give up, must somehow get the butter off my hands (I don’t remember, perhaps I just forget it’s there), and then look to find some lettuce; on the bottom shelf, on the left, see a lettuce, or a third of one, the bottom third, but it’s a lettuce nonetheless, I’m sure, not cabbage, and I pick it up and take a bite - suddenly outside again? - and I’m feeling pretty amazed and on top of the world because I just for the first time ever completed a task in the correct month and it feels good. I take another bite or two of the lettuce. It’s quite thin leaves, or the first was, but it still feels ok, not like rubbery or old. I don’t focus very much on the taste or texture. Then there’s something about Mum, and Adam? I think of other goals, there’s a person here and I try to think of a lucid goal involving them (though there might not really be any)? Expect I soon lose lucidity.
At like a little beach or lake, with my mother (maybe Jenn Husser from Claws) and others, I start to notice and get suspicious about part of the water, basically the part of the beach/shore next to a building the others are standing nearer to, so from where they are they can’t so much see it, but a few dogs are standing on the shore, maybe first just a couple and they’re barking, and also another person - Polly? nah maybe not - says something about it. I’m getting ahead of myself - I think first, I’m suspicious, but can’t prove anything to myself, and finally the other person points things out, points out the bones which confirm my suspicion that my mother/Jenn (if that’s who it is) killed her sister and this is where.
Ask Polly about other woman’s, my mother’s, sister, who died, if she knows anything about it; remember as I'm about to ask that it was Polly's sister who died; ask anyway, hoping I might still be right about that. Polly’s face changes a bit like she’s thinking about it and worried and then she quietly says ‘yes’, tells me about it? Or her telling me yes is enough for me. Then I go into the room, upstairs (?), and Polly comes too, and are we packing? Preparing to leave?