The Cusp's Surrealistic Pillow

[The Cusp]

I spent the majority of last night trying to recreate last nights experience at the beginning of sleep. And I couldn't consciously do it. In retrospect, my attempts felt like those of that kid in the picture above, like I was trying to do something that just doesn't work that way. I did reach a half sleep, where I had some sort of dark shapeless object before me which I was trying to manipulate. This object seemed like an empty container, and looked dark and dull like when I drained me brother's DC of energy from a few dreams ago. The things I was attempting (Which I can barely describe) didn't work, but they cause some fort of spike deformation to appear in the object's shape. I started getting those spikes consistently, so I decided to focus on them and see what I could do with them. I tried to recreate whatever was causing the spikes, to make multiple spikes, to make the spikes bigger. On and on all night, but most of the stuff I tried wasn't working, or I just lacked an understanding of what was really happening. Eventually I noticed that I only had two hours left till my alarm went off and decided I had better let myself go and get some real sleep. My first real dream started, and almost right away, my efforts from earlier in the night stayed with me and created a split consciousness dream, in which I was lucid. The Split Clarity: 3/10 Importance: 7/10 Sleep: Shitty Sleep Position: Unknown I'm in a warehouse trying to deal with a zombie. As I engage him for the first time, I become aware of a split in consciousness. The other me is sitting behind a desk somewhere apart from the scene I'm in, still trying to do the stuff I was attempting to do earlier in the night. The Shock of being in two places at once, and also because the dream was so fresh, causes me to become lucid. I observe what's happening with the split for awhile, then decide to team up and work together with myself to defeat this zombie. One slight problem is that the other me was focused single mindedly on continuing it's experiments, and that self wasn't aware of my lucid self. Luckily, I knew what my desk self was trying to do, so I was able to plan my actions so we were working together. I was no longer trying to defeat the zombie, but more interested in manipulating it with the double team of my split awareness.

[The Cusp]

Had trouble sleeping all week, too hot, which killed my recall. Finally got some rest last night and didn't want to interrupt it with recall attempts. Fragment: Wanderer I'm lucid and I notice a guy wandering around the dream who seems to have the same measure of control over his environment as I do. While the rest of the dream bends to my whims, this guy stands apart, unyielding to my attempts at influencing him. The guy doesn't seem to notice me, he's just doing his own thing, like he's just passing through the dream. I'm so focused on this guy, I begin to see his face on posters on the street. I keep on trying to influence this guy to try and find out what he is.

[The Cusp]

The second lucid fragment was part of the first dream, I just can't recall the linking part. Torn Hinge Clarity: 4/10 Importance: 3/10 Sleep: Good Sleep Position: Unknown I'm in my apartment, which has a steep slope, almost 45 degrees, from the front door to the balcony. The logic of the thing doesn't seem right, and I try to figure out how that can be. The apartment below me should be supporting my apartment, there is no way my apartment should sag like that. Then I figure all the apartments below me must be on an angle as well. The incline gets worse, and I'm in danger of falling right out the window, so I climb to my front door. There I see my apartment is connected to the bottom of the door like a hinge, but this seam is slowly tearing from one side. As I watch the tear gets worse, and my apartment begins to twist sideways in addition to the steep slope. I go out into the hallway before my apartment falls off completely. In the hallway are other residents of my floor. Their door are all open, and I can see they have the same strained hinge connections from their doors to their apartments. I talk with the people in the hall about it, then go back inside my crooked apartment. Fragment: Soothing the Savage Beast I'm lucid, and am forced to battle my brother. We're in front of a trailer, looking in, and the inside of the trailer is slanted downwards away from the door at almost a 45 degree angle. There is the outline of a star tetrahedron overlayed on the trailer, and I mentally grab my brother and throw him inside. Then I begin to shake the trailer, tossing him around. After a quick round of jostling, he comes out and no longer has the urge to attack me. Next, all my high school class mates want to battle me, and I give them the same treatment two at a time. I mentally hurl them in pairs into the slanted trailer with the star tetrahedron overlay, and shake them up, like I'm bouncing around chicken wings in a large bowl with BBQ sauce. After a short round of shaking them up, they come out calm and normal.

[The Cusp]

Fragment: Nasty Ass Some girl is bent over, getting me to check out her ass in comparison to some other girl who's showing off her stuff. As I look at the bare bottom of the bent over girl, I'm not impressed. It's actually pretty nasty looking, and the more I look, the more nasty details I find.

[The Cusp]

Fragment: Symbolic Representation I'm doing a specific task, working towards a goal, which I think was chasing women. Somehow I end up with a rune like symbol that represents the whole of what I was trying to do. I'm amazed that such complexity and be so perfectly described by suck a simple thing. I put the symbol on the wall, and people who see it begin to act out the the scene and desire it represents.

[The Cusp]

Fragment: New Trick I'm lucid and practicing my control/awareness techniques. I start off just working with my "tunnel vision" technique, where I initiate change by focusing on a single element. Then I find myself using a new technique, where being focused on one element, I kind of roll my awareness off it, and kind of roll over to face something else. In this manner I'm able to combine the influence of two elements. I'm also able to take in more elements in between the starting and end element. It's hopeless to try and describe what was happening.

[The Cusp]

Had lots of dreams or one long one in which I must have been lucid, practicing my control techniques. It basically comes down to how I look at things. I have two methods for looking at things so far, and I can't describe either of them. NASA Tech. Clarity: 3/10 Importance: 4/10 Sleep: Good Sleep Position: Unknown Me and two other students are rushing across the school parking lot so we can catch a space shuttle we're supposed to board. Peggy tells me to run because we don't have much time, and I oblige her, but I doubt we're really in that much of a rush. They couldn't have timed a space launch that badly. We stop at some empty spots in the lot, then hear a loud roar from overhead. Before we can even look up, a piece of crap rocket ship drops down onto the pavement with a clunk. I look and see the bottom of the rocket is make of an old garbage can that got really dented in the landing. We're all shocked at how cheaply made this rocket looks. It isn't even big enough to hold one of us, never mind all three. The rocket turns into a gas pump/vending machine, with arms that come out trying to sell cans of pop with alien writing. Peggy says something about what a piece of junk this is, and I say "At least we get to try space pop from the future.". I am very disappointed that with all this future technology, this is what they put it to use for. The rocket becomes bigger, and we climb aboard, with me at the top. The rocket doesn't look like it seals up properly, before I have time to worry about it, we lift off. My fears about the leaking atmosphere were unfounded.

[The Cusp]

Yesterday my alarm was screwed up and I woke up with 15 minutes left to leave for work. Absolutely no time for recall. Not sleeping well these last couple of weeks. Fragment: Work Issues I'm inspecting a freshly sanded and stained floor I've just finished. On the butt end, I see the drum sander had cut into my edge leaving a ridge. I follow the ridge down the butt end and around the corner down the length of the room. The farther I do down the room, the deeper the ridge gets. At the far side of the room, the middle of the floor is sunken at least 3/4 of an inch deeper than the edge. It's just a horrific sanding job I'm flaberghasted as to how I could have done such poor workman ship, even more so how I could have gone ahead and stained it when it was obviously so badly done. Teamed up with another crew yesterday. The one with the company clown. THis guy is such an idiot, and I never understood why they don't fire him, but I think I do now. Some people are just such fundamental fuck ups you have just learn to accept that about them. They can't help it, that's just who they are. So the guy I work with is a paranoid schizophrenic, and the the guy working with the idiot is ready to kill him. Seven people have worked with this guy since I've been at this company, and every one of them has quit. The boss just loves him though. That guy asked my if I'd be interested in switching partners, and Im like hell yeah! It can't happen soon enough.

[The Cusp]

Fragment: Giant Alien The is a humongous pale skinned alien with a squarish head who is picking people up by the legs with one hand, and swinging them about, smashing them into things. I'm lined up with a bunch of people waiting for our turn. Once I see what is happening, there is no way I can just stand by and watch, I have to intervene. I tell the others to run for it. They tell me not to do anything stupid, that the alien is indestructible, but I don't care and attack him anyways. As I fight it, the alien becomes closer to me in size, but is still a good couple feet taller than me. Yeah! Don't mess with earth, baby!!!

[The Cusp]

Been favoring sleep over recall this week, was really tired, but I feel good now. Even though I wasn't trying a few dreams stuck with me. I've forgotten at least two lucids in the past two nights, but at least I know I'm having them. I think I was trying to enter and take over DC bodies last night. Had a lot of dreams yesterday, but I started drinking beer when I got home for work, and the buzz destroyed my recall. I remember one of them now. Fragment: Fort William There was something about sharks in the water, the the beach was just packed with boats at the fort for the long weekend. I'm laying on a towel on the beach, on my stomach, watching Sandy and Danielle. They don't seem to recognize me and are arguing over something. I interject with a solution to thier problems, grinning as they recognize who I am. Then I join them and we go off and do stuff. Seems I always dream about this place on long weekends. I've got to get out of the city! Crazy Ninja Woman Clarity: 6/10 Importance: 2/10 Sleep: Super Sleep Position: Right I'm watching a psychotic ninja woman through my apartment window. She's running around slaughtering people with various bladed weapons. In a parking lot is standing a child of about 5, who is challenging the ninja woman, calling her over and egging him on. The kid has a confidence to him, and I just know he can handle that ninja woman without any problems. He has a trick up his sleeve or something. As the ninja woman approaches the child, I realize I'm one of the few apartments that still has lights on this late at night. I figure I had better shut them off before I attract attention to myself. I do, and am now confident I can watch the fight without being seen. I walk back to my balcony window, but before I can get there, the ninja woman and child come crashing through the curtains and glass into my living room, locked in combat. The lights going off must have attracted their attention! The ninja woman looks up, sees me, holds up a weapon with a golden handle, and grins at me like she's completely insane. She attacks and I manage to defend myself, but I'm not making any progress offensively. As we fight, the child calmly begins to set his plan into motion to deal with the ninja woman. He seems completely unconcerned about her deadly antics.

[The Cusp]

Alcohol is the most commonly used sleeping aid on the planet. While it's good at putting you to sleep initially by creating low brain activity, it tends to wake you up later with an intense rush of brain activity later in the night. So really, it doesn't help, it just cements the problem. But for dreaming purposes it's great! I want to wake up during intense brain activity to remember the kick ass dreams! Maybe not so good for weeknights, but for a weekend when I can sleep in it rocks! Of course I'm wide awake now, so I'm going to have to rinse and repeat in order to fall back asleep. Nothing like beer at 4 in the morning! The Debate Clarity: 6/10 Importance: 10/10 Sleep: Not too shabby Sleep Position: Unknown I'm lucid, and debating something with a very stuck up professor type, who's narrow mindedness and oversimplified scientific explanations leave him blind to the truth. Being lucid, I normally wouldn't waste time arguing with DCs, but in this case, I'm having a blast in the way I'm doing it. I'm not debating the guy directly with words, but rather causing my thoughts and ideas to materialize and become solid, mostly as people. These thoughts then march right up to the professor and do my debating for me. Sick of the professor's using shoddy grade school science to back his claims, I summon up Einstein, Freud, and Newton to confront him. Newton walks up to him and says "I'm sorry, but you're wrong." Einstein then puts his hand on the profs shoulder and says "Your scientific arguments are incomplete, we just can't accept them." While the first two seemed gentle and tried to calm the professor, Freud acts like a dick and begins to berate and insult the him. That's when I first notice my thoughts aren't following my will, that they seem to have lives of their own. I begin to watch how my thoughts seem to have a mind of their own. It's like improvisation acting, every thought is a character with a distinct personality. I use my thoughts to achieve my goals, but often they are counter productive. Even thoughts I would have thought to be perfect for my goals had characteristics or moods that didn't help at all. I'm really amazed at how much I'm working against myself. Holy fuck my lucids are difficult to describe!!!!! Have more dreams, but I'll wait until morning to write them out. Took some good notes, so they're not going to fade on me. That's like the third or fourth dream where I cause the intangible to manifest physically. Likely due to my work with my dream control theories, since I've been noticing how dream control applies to waking life more and more. Actually, I've been reading Laberge's "Exploring the world of lucid dreaming" and he hints on several occasions that dream control applies to the real world. Other than that, the book is boring if you know a lot about lucid dreaming, although the section on schemata was very well done.

[The Cusp]

Target Practice Clarity: 8/10 Importance: 5/10 Sleep: Good Sleep Position: Unknown I'm floating on a large flat barge with a bunch of military personnel. The general is telling me they control this territory and they are the only one sho can access this lake. The scenery is pristine and beautiful, untouched by human activity. The general then says he heard that I wanted to try some target practice, and indicates a military jeep parked in the distance surrounded by a small deserted camp. He then shows me a mortar/rocket launcher set up on our barge. I waste no time, tilt back the gun, light the back end with a match, and watch as a rocket shoots towards the jeep. It's angle is too high, and I think it's going to miss, but at the last moment, the missile drops and lands dead center of the camp. I let out a loud cheer. The resulting explosion is almost nuclear in proportions, and sets off all the ammunition that was stored at the camp. These smaller munitions make littel mini explosion within the main blast, much like fire works. The mini explosion create patterns in the blast that look like little hand painted spirals. The explosion actually looks like something Van Gogh might have painted. The explosion subsides and I notice the previously pristine surface of the lake is now polluted with thousands of tiny bits of plastic and broken glass. Our barge heads for shore, and I sit on the edge of it with my legs dangling in the water. One long thin peice of glass bumps in to my leg, drawing blood, and I yell out "Owwwww!!!". The general says something about how he thought I'd be tougher than that, and I say it's nothing, I just cut myself on a peice of glass. We approach the shore, and eveyone hops off the barge into the water to wade to dry land. Problem is, there is so much broken glass floating on the water, and sunken into the sand, that nobody can get out without getting covered in broken glass. I watch people limp out of the water with glass filled feet, my parents among them. I try get out, but the glass on the bottom is too much, and I throw myself backwards into the water away from the shore. As I do so, I can feel the glass in the water, some of it sinking into my flesh like tiny slivers. I run my hands over my skin and can feel painful little lumps everywhere. I float down stream a little ways, under the shade of some trees overhanging the river, and I notice there is no glass in the water here. I put my feet down, and there is no glass there either. The trees must have sheltered this area from the raining glass shards. I'm able to get out of the water without lacerating my feet. Broken glass in my swimming holes was always a big problem growing up. That and fishing hooks. I had a pair of shoes just for swimming to avoid those kinds of injuries. River Safari Clarity: 3/10 Importance: 4/10 Sleep: Good Sleep Position: Unknown I'm checked into a hotel room, and pull back the curtains in my room to view the city. Out my window I see river cutting through the city. It sort of looks like my city, but it also looks Russian. Movement in the water catches my eye, and a Hippopotamus emerges from beneath the water and chases down another smaller animal before sinking back below the surface. For such a big creature it can sure move fast! My gaze returns closer to my hotel or resort, which was build right on the very edge of the river. There are more hippos in the water, along with elephants and rhinos. Exotic birds, plants and animals are everywhere, and other guests are standing by the river watching the wild life. This river by the hotel runs through a super large building, and this wildlife sanctuary is actually indoors. It's a perfect ecosystem, where the animals can wander free without predators.

[apachama]

That first dream is so strange. Elements of environmental catastrophe brought on by man, how did that make you feel?

[The Cusp]

That first dream is so strange. Elements of environmental catastrophe brought on by man, how did that make you feel? I was disgusted. Pisses me off how the military can justify extreme environmental damage in the name of defense. Killing whales and dolphins with sonar, spreading uranium with missiles... Saturday, August 2, 2008 The Hand, part 1 Clarity: 5/10 Importance: 7/10 Sleep: Nap Sleep Position: Unknown I'm bodiless and come across my body just standing there, so I try to take it back over. My body is alive, but completely unresponsive. I mentally open my hand and see an equilateral triangle on my palm. I begin to take glowing threads of energy and wrap them around the corners of the triangle, hooking more and more of these threads on in intricate patterns. Somehow, doing this ties me to my body. Why the hell do I keep doing weird stuff like that while lucid? I have no idea what any of that means. Forgot that one yesterday. It only came back to me as I was falling asleep. And I actually did fall asleep as I was recalling it, which pretty much brought me back to the same dream. The Hand, part 2 Clarity: 5/10 Importance: 7/10 Sleep: OK Sleep Position: Unknown I manage to WILD while recalling that dream, and the transition from awake to sleep is almost instantaneous. One second I'm in bed, the next I'm completely in the dream. I'm amazed there was no foggy transition where things were unstable, but maybe that had to do with me not having a body. Anyways, the dream I found myself in was an exact replica of the the start of the previous day's dream. Curious as to what the hell I was doing, I decide to recreate the previous dream. I can't find my body anywhere, so I settle for a random DC wandering around in the dark. There was no scenery or anything, just DCs walking around in a big empty blackness. I mentally grab the DC, open up his hand, and find a Star of David (2d Star Tetrahedron). Again I hook those glowing filaments onto the corners and string them across the shape. Before I can finish my task, the dream fades to black in about 1 second flat, and I find myself back in bed. I was amazed how abruptly that dream started (and ended). If I could learn to do that all the time, that would kick so much ass! That repeat dream set the stage for the later half of the night. As I was trying to recall my dreams, I would fall asleep and relive the dream I was trying to recall (non lucid), only slightly different each time. I was trying to recall some dreams like 6 or 7 times, but ended up with too many different versions of the same dream to recall anything. Poor Me Clarity: 7/10 Importance: 7/10 Sleep: OK Sleep Position: Right Side (Left Brain) I wake up in a basement apartment due to noise of people at my street level window. I recognize the drunken voices of Robin and Brazeau calling me and trying to open my window. I get out of bed just as they get the window open and Robin peeks in, drunk as fuck. They come in and try to get me to come to a party, but I tell them I'm dead broke and am just going to stay in. They try to convince me for a bit more, then leave. Was feeling kind of down since I didn't have the money to go out an party last night, just stayed in and took it easy instead. It's quite possible I heard some drunk people outside while I was sleeping. The drunken window visit was very common back in college. Video Game Party Clarity: 7/10 Importance: 6/10 Sleep: OK Sleep Position: Unknown I'm at Donald's house (long deceased in RL), watching my brother play a video games. It's an old NES game, but it looks very original considering that system's limited capabilities. My brother is saying "This is the BEST!!!!" I hear Donald's voice call me over top come sit with them, and follow it into the kitchen where I see my old Chi gang clustered together playing videogames as well. I say hi to Billy, and notice his brother doesn't seem to recognize me, so I greet him by name as well. Donald is still calling me to come sit over there. I can hear him arguing and fighting with someone, and again I follow his voice around teh house, only to end up where I started with no sign of him anywhere. Smashed in the Head Clarity: 8/10 Importance: 4/10 Sleep: OK Sleep Position: Right Side (left Brain) I'm at a jumpin' house party, when some girl starts freaking on me for no reason. She's telling me off and I return the favor in spades. It's a big scene which dies down, and I wander off into the kitchen where I start hitting on another girl who seems receptive to my advances. I lose track of the girl for a moment talking to some other people, when a girl walks up, grabs me by the collar, and plants a big kiss on me. I assume it was the girl I was just hitting on, but as she pulls away from the kiss, she spits into my mouth at least 10 times in a row in rapid succession. Now I recognize her as that bitch from the other room. Since I have a mouth full of her spit in my mouth, I spit it back in her face like a shot gun blast, covering her entire face. Her boyfriend, having seen what I just did, comes over and begins to hastle me. The girls grabs her boyfriend and give him a big kiss, getting spit all over his face. Once she pulls away from the kiss, she drills her boyfriend in the face with her open palm, sending him staggering backwards. She then leaves the room The boyfriend blames all this on me, and he seems like he wants to get violent, which is rediculous considering he's half my size. He keeps mouthing off to me, so I swing across the crowded kitchen trying to punch him in the face. Unfortunately I miss and hit some other guy in the face. I see the guy I was trying to hit suddenly got several feet taller as I swung. That's when I realize I'm there alone, don't know anyone and don't have any backup. The guy I hit immediately smashes his beer bottle over my head. I see the broken glass falling, then a wave of beer foam fills my vision, but I don't feel anything at all, and am not sure if he hit me or not since the place is so packed. The moment the bottle smashes, everyone in the kitchen freezes, staring at me. It seems like people are trying to hold me up, and I hear someone mention blood. I'm really confused since I don't feel a thing, but everyone is staring. I look up to try and see the blood on my head, but instead I see the arm of the guy who hit me still holding the broken neck of the beer bottle and grinding it into my scalp. I'm totally confused now because I still don't feel anything, and everyone around me seems to be frozen.

[The Cusp]

When I first started lucid dreaming, I had a nightmare in which I realized my tormentors were actually me, and I've never had a dream I would consider scary or a nightmare since. Until last night. This next dream scared the living crap out of me! Haunted Mirror Clarity: 8/10 Importance: 6/10 Sleep: OK Sleep Position: Right Side (Left Brain) I'm working in a customer's house, about to start the job, inspecting what there is to be done. The woman who owns the house is showing me around. After I've seen everything, I'm ready to bring the equipment in, but the woman warns me we might not be able to work because the place is haunted. Her two kids, a boy and a girl of about 5 and 6, begin to tell me stories about a haunted mirror that appears in their house. They seem terrified, and the woman seems quite sure it will interfere with our work. I calmly reassure them that everything will be fine, I just know it. I speak with a calm confidence, and manage to calm and reassure the kids, but the woman still isn't convinced, but she'll let us try to work. I say to the guy working with me that we will probably be doing a lot of this in the future. I'm referring to calming people down by manipulating their attention with my dream control techniques. The front door is wide open so we can bring in our equipment, and as I walk towards it, a frame winks into existence on the wall. I look at it and it winks back out of existence, only to reappear again, this time framing a silver mirror. The moment the mirror appears, I'm pulled to the ground by what feels like intense gravity, immobilizing me. I begin to hyperventilate uncontrollably for no apparent reason. The kids panic and scream to their mother that it's back. I'm still pinned to the ground, terrified. I look at the mirror and see that it doesn't reflect anything. It's surface is an immaculate silver with no reflections whatsoever. Even though I can't move, I desperately want to get out of there. I think if I can manage to make it across the threshold of the front door, I'll be safe. When I look to where the open door was, I'm horrified to see it's gone. In it's place is a window. I follow the length of the wall with my eyes past another window, and finally see the door. One of the kids is trying to open it, but it won't budge. It won't even vibrate! Outside the door looking through the glass are two more kids who have horrified looks on their faces. I'm totally panicking, sucking in huge breaths of air, yet I can barely breath. I either wake up or wake myself up. I woke up still gasping for breath, hyperventilating. I was so drenched with sweat, I thought I might have peed the bed. And I was still scared. Almost didn't get out of bed to take notes on that dream I was so scared. And when I went back to bed, I kept glancing at the empty wall at the foot of my bed to make sure there was no mirror there. Fragment: Medusa I'm on my hands and knees, completely encased and immobalized by a thin layer of grey stone. I'm not worried because I know that in order to free myself, all I have to do is fall asleep. I relax and feel myself start to drift off, and the stone casing starts to crack and flake off. I focus on the flaking stone which ruins my sleep attempt and solildifies the stone again. I'm now having trouble falling asleep.

[The Cusp]

Fragment: Communication Breakdown I'm tryng to talk to my boss, when he turns to one of the other employees and says "I have a hard time understanding what he says", reffering to me. I keep trying to talk to him, but the boss just looks at me with a puzzeled expression, then turns to his right hand man and says "You see what I mean?" Down Under Clarity: 6/10 Importance: 9/10 Sleep: OK Sleep Position: Unknown I'm on vacation for two weeks in Australia with my old work partner Shane. Shane tells me he has to fly back for a week and asks if I want to come. I think that's the dumbest question I've ever heard. We're only here for two weeks, why would I waste one of them back home? Shane leaves, and I'm left in the hotel alone. I don't know anyone, and am starting to get lonely. I'm just not enjoying myself, and decide to head back home. The only question is where home is going to be. I hate my job and the thought of going back to it sickens me. My parents invited me back to stay with them in my home town. I still have a lot of friends back home, but there is no work in that town. I think it over and decide to go back to my parents. Back home, I find all my old friends, and it's like I never left. The guys and I go out to a house party. As I mingle, I realize that this is not where I want to be. I shouldn't have come back. Just then I have an epiphany. What I should have done was look for work in Australia! I have to find Shane, since he has the plane tickets to return to Australia. There is still a few days left in my vacation, and my accomodations are still waiting for me back in Australia. Luckily I run into Shane at the party, in a room with Corey and Trevor from the Trailer Park Boys. I ask Shane for the ticket, but he tells me he has to go to Wisconson instead. He's such an unreliable crack head, this doesn't surprise me in the least. Working in Australia... I was very excited by that idea when I woke this morning. That's something I might have to look into. As for me on vacation, only in my dreams. I am so sick and tired about hearing about everyone else's vacations. If one more person tells me about their vacation, I'm going to tell them to fuck off.

[The Cusp]

Monkey in the Middle Clarity: 3/10 Importance: 4/10 Sleep: OK Sleep Position: Unknown I'm walking back from a party at night, and some guy I know if following along behind me. Not just following, he's stalking me. He's a vampire who wants to suck my blood! I walk down an alley, and the vampire calls me, warning me something is coming. He jumps out of the way of a transport truck and catches up to me. Just as he's about to make his move and attack, a group of my friends walk into the scene. They're looking for this vampire guy and want to kick his ass. They surround him threateningly, but I consider the vampire a friend as well. I don't want to take sides in this situation. The vampire and I walk up to a basketball hoop in the street and start shooting baskets, while the gang surrounds us and steals our ball. Since they are all my friends, my instincts are screaming at me to get involved and stand up to the bullies, but I'm unsure who the bullies are. I'm paralyzed with indecision. Shadow Room Clarity: 8/10 Importance: 4/10 Sleep: OK Sleep Position: Unknown I'm walking down a deserted road at night towards my car, which is parked in by some nature trails in the middle of nowhere. I'm going to be sleeping in my car this night for some reasons. As I get closer, I see my car lights are on, but very dim because the battery is almost dead. I get closer and can hear the radio on as well. Once I reach my car, I see the doors are all open and the hood is up. Someone has broken into my car!!! I check things out, and the car is completely empty. I'm a little bummed out to have lost my favorite CDs. I wonder why the hood is up, and wonder if they were stealing parts from my car. I try to see under the hood, but it's too dark. I feel around blindly, but it seems like everything is still there. I try to start the car. It makes some noise as I turn the key, almost catches, then dies completely, drained of power. I wonder what I'm going to do. I'm in the middle of nowhere and don't have a cell phone on me to call for help. I look around and see several other cars parked next to mine, also with the doors wide open, presumably pillages as well. There are other cars further away, and I spot some people wandering around in the dark. Hoping I can get a boost, I approach them and see a group of well dressed people. Some sort of family gathering. I walk in the middle of them and ask "I don't suppose any of you would be able to give me a boost?" A well dressed blond woman tells me "I can't give you a boost, but I can help you get your car started." I wonder how she plans to do that without boosting me, and she say "Why don't you just use the Shadow Room?". I look around and see a small brick building among the trees and wonder what kind of power this Shadow Room possesses.

[The Cusp]

Had all left side (right brain) dreams last night, since it was hot and I slept facing my fan. Can't read some of the notes I took, but they were all strange dreams last night. In the one I can't read, the only word I can make out is experimenting. I think it was a lucid too. Figures... *Just managed to decipher it: Experimenting---> Simple to hard Look + Touch ect Still don't know what it means. Fragment: Spiral Attraction There are Phi Spirals coming out the palms of my hands, extending off into infinity in ever widening loops. These spiral lines of force have the effect of making people attracted to me. It's almost a magnetic attraction. I notice that the attractive force is much weaker as the phi spirals distance themselves from me, and are much stronger the closer they get to my hands, as the spirals are more tightly wound in the very center of my palms. The Aurora Gateway Clarity: 5/10 Importance: 3/10 Sleep: OK Sleep Position: Left Side (Right Brain) I see a shimmering wall of energy before me. It seems like it's been stretched out, spread really thinly, so that there are just vertical slits of energy with with a bit of empty space between them. As I watch, small things come through this energy into our world at random intervals. Seeing that this energy has been stretched so thin, I condense it all into one vertical gash of energy, creating a solid gateway to... somewhere. It's big enough now that I could travel through it. As I watch, something large begins to come through from the other side. It occurs to me that this energy is almost identical to the aurora borealis. The Northern Lights are actually one big interdimensional gateway! Third Eye Communication Clarity: 7/10 Importance: 8/10 Sleep: OK Sleep Position: Left Side (Right Brain) I'm unloading my work equipment outside a house, when I see Jeff, who works at a company I used to work at, pull up to a house on the same street. I go over to see him and say "Well, well, well, what do we have here?". We chat for a bit, and Jeff asks me if I have a big job today. I tell him no, it's tiny. He tells me he can't talk because he has a lot of work to do. I go back to my job, and my 18 month old niece is there. I play with her instead of working, and don't feel bad about it all since it's such a dinky little job. For some reason we touch our foreheads together and there is some kind of communication taking place. My niece gets into bed, and I curl up beside her, and again we touch our foreheads together. I can feel an energy that expands a little beyond our heads, and by touching foreheads together, our energies overlap into each other's heads. She's teaching me things about energy, while at the same time feeding off my wealth of life experiences. Once we're finished, I get up and find myself in a house party. The girl from the Money Mart is there, and we just connect. Her friends are concerned about her, and keep asking me what my intentions are, and if I'm going to call her. They don't want to see her get hurt. I tell them of course I will! The MM girl asks me if I've eaten breakfast. I tell he no, and she walks out the door, presumable to go get some food. I stick my head out the door to ask her where she's going, but she steps into the elevator and she doesn't hear me. I tell the remaining guys we should go wait for her outside to get some fresh air, and one of them follows me outside onto the roof. He too asks me if I intend on calling her, and I confess to him that there's no way I couldn't call her, as I've been in love with her for the longest time. I realize we've been outside too long and should head back in so we don't miss her.

[The Cusp]

Mortal Mist Sleep Room Clarity: 4/10 Importance: 4/10 Sleep: Poor Sleep Position: Unknown I'm at the Mortal Mist headquarters, in a small room filled with small cots for sleeping. It's a bit crowded in this room, but there are two rows of tall flowers in front of the window. Each plant is a different flower, and each member has put two flowers there. Mine are a rose and a long purple flower. The flowers are alive and still growing. The diversity of the flowers is stunning, each of them are stunningly beautiful. I'm impressed with how they've made the best out of such a small place. My brother is there, and for some reason, we're pretending to be a gay couple. But my brother isn't playing along and is ruining the illusion. We argue about it and begin to fight. Fragment: Pearls and Swine I'm talking to my uncle Dennis, asking him leading questions. He says to me "Why do I get the feeling you're trying to steer this conversation?". I want to discuss spiritual matters with him, but not in front of the rest of the family. “Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you” My Reiki Master uncle was down visiting, but we never got to talk properly.

[The Cusp]

Fragment: Uncle Dennis I'm talking to my uncle Dennis, and he asks me what I'm going to do today. I reply that I'll go for a swim and wonder about why my father will lend the boat out to anybody but me. I'm pissed because I know the riber like the back of my hand and my father keeps lending to my uncles who keep hitting dead heads, and he uses that as an excuse not to let me use the boat. Fragment: Aunt Nikki My aunt Nikki wakes my up to tell me she's leaving. I say good bye and see her off. When I go back inside, I see my parents house has all hardwood floors, all freshly sanded by me. I don't remember doing that at all, and my parents ask me if I've done their bedroom as well. I look and that's the only room that hasn't been done, but it's full of furniture still so I can't work on it. They ask my to do it anyways, but I don't have the equipment anymore. Fragment: Postaholic I'm checking my dream control thread, and tons of people have replied. I do my best to answer all the questions, but everytime I post one reply, there are 10 more questions. Fragment: Flattery I'm browsing the forums. Half the posts I read are from people telling me they love me, the rest are filled with flattery. Fragment: Exclusion I'm walking across a bridge with some guy from Bishop Smith after a party sequence, and we spot my class mates playing some sport in the field below. I want to go join them, but the guy with me says they won't let him. I find that odd, since they always let me play, and I suck at sports. We go down to the field and walk along the water's edge. Fragment: Bus Home I get on the schoolbus to go home. I look out the window and see Sarah, and wonder what she's still doing here, since it's almost 5 o'clock. But there are plenty of other people around as well. I see a super large hand stitched quilt on the grass where people are sitting watching a soccer game. Jewel Thief Clarity: 7/10 Importance: 7/10 Sleep: Ok Sleep Position: Unknown I'm in a house when I notice on a shelf a crystal that is shaped like one of the Platonic Solids. I go to inspect it, and find several naturally formed crystals, all shaped like the platonic solids. I decide I'm going to take them, and begin stuffing my pockets with these geometric crystals. The edges are razor sharp to the touch, and I almost cut myself handling them. The more crystals I take, the more I find, and eventually I begin to find what look to be ancient Egyptian artifacts. I take those as well. Loot in hand, I make escape, grabbing a few more Egyptian artifacts on the way out. I run out the back door and see the home owner's son playing in the back yard. I only live around the corner from this house, and don't want him to see me, but it's too late now. I run past the kid and down a wooded path towards my house. I hit the street and see a woman pull into the driveway of the house I just robbed, so I hide. Before long, the kid leads the woman right towards me, and I know I'm busted, so I prepare to hand over my loot. The woman walks up to me and demands to know what I did with the plastic garbage can that was in the hall. I remember moving it out of the way, and am shocked that's what she's concerned about. I just hand over my bag of jewels sheepishly and go home. That's kind of a recurring dream I haven't had in awhile. I'm always robbing the same house. I've burglarized that house in my dreams so often, the last few dreams there was nothing left to take.

[The Cusp]

Aug 13, 2008 Arms Dealer Clarity: 7/10 Importance: 3/10 Sleep: Ok Sleep Position: Unknown Some guy dumps an arm load of jet black fire arms onto a table. I'm supposed to sell them. A bunch of military leaders and dictators show up, and I launch into my sales pitch and demonstration. The walls, floors and ceiling of the room we are in are completely covered in black gymnasium mats. I grab one if the weapons and fire of a few demonstration rounds, which hit the mats on the floor. Amazingly, the mats are bullet proof, and only show a slight discoloration where they were hit. Next I pick up a sleek black shot gun, saying "You really have to handle them your self to appreciate them." I hold out the shotgun in my left hand and fire a glancing shot against the wall. Again there is only a whitish discoloration where I hit. I'm absolutely amazed how bullet proof these mats are, and the people I'm trying to sell the weapons to likewise seem more impressed with the mats than the weapons. I must be trying to find alternate jobs I would be good at. Black market arms dealer goes on the list. Aug 13, 2008 Makin' Bacon Clarity: 8/10 Importance: 5/10 Sleep: Ok Sleep Position: Unknown I'm in a basement waiting in line with a few other guys. We're waiting for our turn to have sex with an asian woman on the couch, who is having sex right in front of us as we watch. I'm wondering what's going on here, and want to ask her, but she answers her cell phone while having sex, and from the sound of it, she doesn't speak english. I notice a doorway behind me, with 4 asian guys standing in it. At first I think they are in line as well, then I realize they must be her brothers. Maybe they're pimping her out? But I see no monetary transactions, so I just keep waiting for my turn. The asian woman asks the next guy in line to join in, so that it's two on one. My vision jumps to the upstairs kitchen, where I see a man walk in. The microwave is running and he opens and and pulls out a strip of bacon, which he holds in front of his face and inspects closely. He then holds the bacon strip at arms length, whistles like he's calling a dog, and says "Here boy!". He's trying to call me up from downstairs, and I think that's the stupidest thing ever. Who would run for a strip of bacon like that? My vision returns to the basement, and I have become the old guy from Empty Nest. I watch as he sniffs the air, smells the bacon, and runs off upstairs with a Homer Simpson like "MMmmmmmm... Bacon...."

[The Cusp]

Fragment: Secret Cymatics I'm digging through a small mountain of photographs, when I notice a striking image of water taking on a fantastical shape through cymatic sound vibrations. The picture seems to be mounted on a thick board. As I handle it, I accidently uncover a hidden compartment on the back, and open it up to find...I don't remember what. Maybe keys to secret chambers of something. Party at Chunk's Clarity: 6/10 Importance: 8/10 Sleep: Good Sleep Position: Unknown My family and I shoe up at the annual Chunk Family cottage party. It's a huge end of the year celebration. At first, it's just the families, and someone's baby sees me and runs right up to me, arms out, wanting to be picked up. I set the baby on my lab, and people just look at us and shake their heads, amazed at how good I am with kids. THis kid just won't leave my side. As we sit there, an automated toy car-like thing zooms by, and the kid jumps down to chase it. It seems to be programmed to interact with the kid perfectly, and I'm impressed at how perfect their interactions are. Now free of the kid, I get into the swing of the party. It's getting later and the younger crowd is taking over. There's lots of drinking. I hook up with Erin, and we cuddle and make out for awhile. Erin goes outside for a moment, and I can hear the others teasing her about being with me, since I'm a bit older than she is. The teasing doesn't bother her in the least, and she comes back inside and cuddles up with me once again. I feel special that left the party like that to be alone with me. I lose Erin at some point, and Chunk gets me to man the gates, acting as a bouncer, deciding who gets into the party. I suddenly remember an old dream I had, which mistake as part of this reality, and ask him "Didn't the boats get sunk here last year?", which is what happened in that other dream. He doesn't reply. All my friends are graduating school this year, but Sarah says she has to stay for one more year. Since we'll be the only two left in town, I make a mental note to call her later. Her friend Mel keeps talking about "angry massage sex". It's getting late, and my family is ready to leave. We all meet in a movie theatre across the street, and I notice a group of cute girls. The girls are talking on their cell phones about going to a party, and I get the idea to invite them over to the Chunk's. I know I'm supposed to be leaving, but If I can get all these girls over to the party, it could get really wild. So I do. There's always so much going on in my party dreams, it's hard to keep track of. Fell back asleep while recalling the details of that dream, and of course I re-entered that dream. Aftermath Clarity: 7/10 Importance: 3/10 Sleep: Good Sleep Position: Unknown It's the morning after the party, and I'm woken up on the couch by people talking. Jack Black is there, and he' stalking to some stuffy old guy who looks a little like the Monopoly man. He's referencing some Adam Sandler movie that had stuffy old rich people by saying "A little movie by SAND - LER." The stuffy old guy asks him what he liked about that movie, and jack black goes into deatail about some little joke from the movie that he is expanding into a whole routine. I just stay on the couch, groggy and hungover.

[The Cusp]

Hammer Toss Clarity: 8/10 Importance: 7/10 Sleep: Good Sleep Position: Unknown I go down into my parent's basement to find some kind of factory assembly line set up. There are a series of pullies (like on a clothes line) and ropes, but the very last one is missing. My brother is working there with a bunch of people, and one fat guy is yelling at everyone and calling them names. I march up to him and tell him if he call anyone names anymore, I'm going to beat his ass. That pretty much puts an end to their work and everyone goes upstairs. Disgusted by their laziness, I tell my brother to come back down stairs with me so we can fix the machine. We root around the basement for the missing part of the machine. I find half of it, but can't find the other half, and give up, since it's nowhere to be found. Somehow things change so that we're preparing for a deadly game. We run through the basement looking for anything we can use for a weapon. We're going to be fighting another team to the death. I pick up a baseball bat, an arm full of hammers, and a hand saw I plan on using like a sword. I hear our opponents coming down the stairs, and my team stands against the far wall waiting for them. THere is me, my brother, and two other guys against a team of four other people. We face off across the room and begin to throw hammers at each other. As hammers whiz by my head, I think this is really fucked up! I announce to everyone that I don't want to play this game, and walk away to head back upstairs. French Girls Clarity: 8/10 Importance: 7/10 Sleep: Good Sleep Position: Unknown In the plaza parking lot, some guy hands me a book on magic. I quickly skim through it page by page. The guy tell me it a really important book, and I tell him it's absolute crap. The guy attempts to demonstrate the validity of the book by performing a demonstration. He's looking at the sun through a cardboard tube with circle of paper at the end. I get the feeling he's trying to create the image of an eclipse or a Viscera Pisces. He tells me the image is much clearer on video. We then launch a model rocket through the sky. The rocket attracts the attention of a some sort of ranger girl, who tell us that she warned us about doing stuff like that. We smoke her a joint, and the poor girl gets completely blitzed, and sits cross legged on the ground right out of it. Now there are two girls sitting there, both stoned out of their minds, and wearing tube tops. They're so baked, we convince them to take their tops off, and they get up and run around. Now it's just me and the two girls, in a cobblestone alleyway. I get the feeling we're in France. The girls are completely wasted, making a big scene, but nobody seems to mind. I figure this is normal in France. The alleyway is really filthy, and as the girls stumble around drunkenly, they too begin to get dirty. Before long they are completely covered in mud, and I figure this too is normal for France. The more I look at how muddy the girls are, the more filthy they become. It gets so bad, I can see dirt right on one of the girl's eyeballs. I'm a little freaked out that it doesn't bother her having a clump of dirt directly on her eye, even more so that she doesn't even blink! I can practically feel the dirt on her eye, and it makes me really uneasy.

[apachama]

*Shudder* God, your last dream reminds me strangely of this really odd French Surrealist philosopher I'm studying for my degree. I may be just French connection and the dirt. But also the emotionally disconnected way you tell the story. Really creepy. Urgh.

[The Cusp]

*Shudder* God, your last dream reminds me strangely of this really odd French Surrealist philosopher I'm studying for my degree. I may be just French connection and the dirt. But also the emotionally disconnected way you tell the story. Really creepy. Urgh. I didn't realize surrealists came as philosophers. I thought it was only painters! Something Fishy Clarity: 3/10 Importance: 4/10 Sleep: OK Sleep Position: Unknown I'm working in some sort of fish factory. There is an old sea captain in charge, who is firing or murdering the other employees, and I'm one of the few workers remaining. The sea captain expects me to do everyone's work. There is a huge metal tub full of fish guts or urine or something gross. The captain wants me to take care of it by myself, but it's too much work for one person. Plus it's really, really gross. I tell the sea captain that I quit, and he's not happy with my decision in the least. The old sea captain pulls out a machine gun and begins firing at me. I become lucid, hold up my hand, and stop the bullets in mid air. Then I make them disappear. This infuriates the old guy even further, and he attacks me with various other things lying around the factory. As I deal with his attacks, I can see a whitish glow around objects before the captain uses them to attack me. I'm either seeing the future or the potential these objects have. I start making things disappear before he even gets a chance to use them, which leaves little colored glowy spots in the air that slowly fade away like an after image burned into your eyes.