The Cusp
DreamSlinger

I need to pee IRL as badly as I need to in the dream. I'm in an apartment store, and rush into the bathroom to pee. All the stalls are taken, and there are no urinals, so I whip it out and begin to pee in the sink. I'm peeing and peeing and it just won't stop. After a few minutes, it sinks in that there are no urinals, and I look up to see three women staring at me aghast. "He's STILL doing it!" one of them says in disgust. They think I'm a flasher, and I try to explain that I'm not, but the fact that I'm not putting my penis away would seem to indicate otherwise. I just can't stop peeing!

I put my dick away and run out of there before the cops show up. I run outside looking for somewhere more private to pee. Down the street there is some sort of NFL billboard with a talking robot dude which provides a bit of cover, so I go to pee there. The talking robot sure swears an awful lot as I go. For some reason my penis keeps getting longer every time I look at it. "Impressive", says the robot, "want me to hold that for you?". I actually think him holding the end might be a good idea, since it's now so long it's difficult to keep straight, and the pressure is making it hard to pee.

At this point, it's almost 5 feet long, and I'm considering cutting it off since it's obviously some sort of alien parasite.

End up at a friend's house, still peeing non-stop, before I finally wake up and pee for real.

I'm captaining a starship, and recieve 10 warnings from what I assume to be my future self. We avert the crisis, then I realize it was not my future self that sent those warnings, but a PARALLEL self! I don't trust this parallel self has the same ideals and self interests, to I take measures to insulate myself from such interference.

It's an unspecified apocalypse. There are giant rocks falling out of an ominous sky, and the first zombies are starting to spread. Shit is going to get very bad, very soon. I'm focused on gathering supplies and getting out of the city, and am leading a small group.

People are already fighting in the grocery stores, which have almost been stripped bare. I focus on raiding unattended stores and gas stations, houses that look empty. In one house, there are canisters of supplies, guns and ammo, food. As we grab the canisters, a little +10 or +5 appears in the air like when you pick something up in a video game. That almost tips me off that I'm dreaming, but I get distracted with my mission of gathering supplies. There's a nice rifle with a scope in the basement of one house, I'm the first one to spot it, and I lay claim to it by announcing "That one's MINE!". Morgan disagrees and grabs before I can, and I tell him I'm willing to fight him for it. He's being a total dick, the kind of person who gets people killed, and as we fight, I regret not having any of those knives I scavenged on me.

I'm in my high school, where they are holding the lamest school election ever. It's long, drawn out and super boring. Meanwhile, I'm preoccupied with how to defeat Jiren. Goddamn universe is about to be erased and these idiots around me are playing make believe! I've been elected part of the council who has the final vote, but it's so mind numbingly dull that I leave.

How to defeat Jiren? That beast will kill me with one punch! Then I remember he's not allowed to kill me, so I figure I might as well at least try to fight him, I might get lucky. I go find Jiren and we scrap. I put up a pretty good fight, but I clearly have no hope in hell of winning. As I'm fighting, some friends show up and tell my the bachelor party is starting, so I abandon this hopeless fight in favor watching strippers.

We walk to where the bachelor party is being held, and I'm a little concerned about my clothes, which are all torn up from my fight. We arrive at a building, go up a long set of stairs to a bar that seems familiar. There is a small blond stripper with a squeaky voice who hands me a large book someone wrote about her. Worst stripper ever.

Don't know where I got the money, but I buy a sweet ass boat, along with my own private island with a fantastic cottage on it. I cruise around in my huge ass boat for awhile, then head to my cottage. I talk to my brother for a bit, when through the window I see the boat floating away. I forgot to put down the anchor!!! I run, and it seems to take a ridiculous amount of time to get our of the cottage.

Wake up here, back to sleep...

In the dream, I have a weird feeling that I bought a boat. It makes no sense since I can't afford it, but I can't shake the feeling I bought a boat. I mention it to my friends, and they're like "yeah right". I recall I had two sets of keys for it, one in each pocket of my pants. I reach into my pockets and pull out two sets of boat keys, each with a green floater in case they get dropped into the water. So now I have keys for a boat, but where's the boat? I spend the rest of the dream looking for it unsuccessfully.