Is the mindset THE most important part in dream control?

**mimihigurashi** · 01-05-2015 10:04 AM

I've lost count of the lucid dreams I wasted and dream goals left unaccomplished due to my inability to control particular aspects of my dreams.. The parts that I have the most trouble with are changing the scene and summoning people. For some reason, I can manipulate and change already existing objects just fine, very easily in fact.

After observing both my failed and successful attempts at summoning for example, I noticed there are two distinct 'mindsets' I had every time: when I would fail, there was this doubt in the back of my head, even if it was a really tiny doubt deep down, it would still cause me to fail, this distant feeling of "dammit, it might not work, watch it not work". When I would succeed, I had to adopt this mindset where I kind of had to, as weird as it sounds, I had to reject and block the logical part of my brain that said to me "that can't happen". And it had to be quick, that feeling is so damn transient, it's such a small window until the doubt leaks in and ruins it!

I read a bunch of fancy tricks you can do for dream control, but I've had both success and failures with both the 'bad' and the 'good' dream control techniques, the difference was the mindset I had when I used the techniques.
Is there any way to make that 'success' feeling accessible to you whenever you need it? Any sort of mental exercise or meditation or something? I'm so tired of 'wasting' LDs, and the most frustrating part is that I know it's my fault because the logical part of my brain refuses to stay away with its waking life logic and ruins all the fun.

**StephL** · 01-05-2015 03:23 PM

If your logical faculties were fully working, you should come to the well reasoned conclusion that this is your dream and you can control what happens. Maybe it's rather your intuitive feeling towards how reality should behave than too much cognitive insight?

Btw. - I believe dreaming of the future is one of the most valuable human activities, the beginning of everything we eventually manifest in reality and such our present moments later on. But I do get the point of your sig of course - never fall into the trap of missing out on your life by constant mental time-travel. Worst is to keep mulling over your regrets and failed chances, to yearn for the past with no lessons learnt.

**mimihigurashi** · 01-05-2015 03:34 PM

Originally Posted by StephL

If your logical faculties were fully working, you should come to the well reasoned conclusion that this is your dream and you can control what happens. Maybe it's rather your intuitive feeling towards how reality should behave rather than too much cognitive insight?

Yeah, it's possible. Maybe I find it too difficult to temporarily 'unlearn' the laws of the waking world.. Is there any way to deal with that?

**WaltersDreams** · 01-05-2015 04:53 PM

This certainly is a problem. But when it does fail, are you blaming yourself? If you do, you're only going to make yourself the problem. When you're dreaming, you're in a different world; and different rules apply. Just like when you're going to a new place for the first time, rules are different.

The next time you're lucid, ask yourself, "do you believe you can do this?" And answer with your heart. Work up from any result and tell yourself, "I am getting better." This mindset will gradually improve, seeing as you aren't confident in your abilities. Keep in mind that everybody has problems with different tasks; it's not just you.

**OneUp** · 01-05-2015 04:55 PM

When I would succeed, I had to adopt this mindset where I kind of had to, as weird as it sounds, I had to reject and block the logical part of my brain that said to me "that can't happen". And it had to be quick, that feeling is so damn transient, it's such a small window until the doubt leaks in and ruins it!

If I could give you the most simplest yet effective answer, it would be: know that you can do it. If you've realized that you can do anything in a dream when you stop doubting yourself completely, then you have to also know that anything is possible as long as you don't doubt yourself. I know exactly what you are talking about with the small window, but once you take away any thoughts of failure, it won't exist.
Ahem,
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V

**mimihigurashi** · 01-05-2015 04:58 PM

Originally Posted by OneUp

If I could give you the most simplest yet effective answer, it would be: know that you can do it. If you've realized that you can do anything in a dream when you stop doubting yourself completely, then you have to also know that anything is possible as long as you don't doubt yourself. I know exactly what you are talking about with the small window, but once you take away any thoughts of failure, it won't exist.
Ahem,
|
|
V

;_; Thanks man, you're right, I don't know why I find it so difficult to use expectations.. I'll try to convince myself of the things you said, somehow
Btw, are you on Skype? Just wondering cause I sent you a message some time ago and you appear as afk.

Originally Posted by WaltersDreams

This certainly is a problem. But when it does fail, are you blaming yourself? If you do, you're only going to make yourself the problem. When you're dreaming, you're in a different world; and different rules apply. Just like when you're going to a new place for the first time, rules are different.

The next time you're lucid, ask yourself, "do you believe you can do this?" And answer with your heart. Work up from any result and tell yourself, "I am getting better." This mindset will gradually improve, seeing as you aren't confident in your abilities. Keep in mind that everybody has problems with different tasks; it's not just you.

Yes, I do blame myself =/ and my scumbag brain for refusing to let me have fun.. I'll try that out next time, thanks.

**TravisE** · 01-05-2015 05:04 PM

I have a suspicion that mindset probably ultimately defines almost everything about LDs.

I have a similar problem with dream control (despite being at this for years), and I suspect a lot of it in my case has to do with the very sort of thing the OP mentions—it's awfully hard to unlearn a couple hundred LDs of being conditioned to see certain things as being very difficult to do.

I've recently read about a lot of what Sageous has said in his classes regarding developing self-awareness and “turning back on” conscious access to memory in LDs (e.g., by making yourself remember where you sleeping body is, what day it is, etc.) with great fascination, and this is what I will be trying out now. (Note that a lot of the stuff I linked to is primarily geared toward WILDing, but much of it is relevant to any form of LDing in general, and it's an interesting read if you have the time!)