Want it too much?

[frizzyfolife]

I have been able to have LD's for 5 years, i can tell i'm dreaming, wake up and have near perfect recall without writing, i can fly, i can manipulate fire, but i have two dreams i cannot control, both involving "the one that got away". The only thing i can compare it to, and i hope a few people hear have read at least twilight, is a Bella type dream, set in the woods or somewhere else remote, she stands in my peripheral vision and i turn to look at her but she just moves with me, i can tell its her because i can even smell her. The other i'm running after her and she looks back at me smiling, i try to reach her but she speeds up. There's no physical limitations i can even chase her up a tree, but never catch her. And i don't even wake up from aggrevation or excitement, i wake up naturally. Any thoughts or ideas or possibly other stories of selective lack of control?

[frizzyfolife]

English is my first language, as for my grammar, I just wasn't writing like I was in English class. And if we are misunderstanding each other it's because I don't know how to word everything correctly here. This is the first time I have been on one of these boards, and first time knowing that a lot more people can do this than I originally thought. I always thought I just had the ability to recognize that I was in a dream and control it to an extent, I had never heard the term lucid dream before or the word sentient. Now, the person I speak of is a person that exists in this awake life, I knew her and I loved her, that is why I used the old expression "The one that got away." As for my misunderstandings towards your writings, I can't tell if you are trying to be philosophical when you say, "dream life is real life", because obviously in real life you can't fly. And after that comment, I can't tell if you want me to talk to her awake or asleep. If you are telling me to talk to her in a dream, I forgot to mention in the first post that I ask and beg for her to talk to me, and in the dream she still hides or runs. While it strikes true that I want to control other dream girls for less than noble activities, I do only want to talk to her, I didn't say "have her" before to mean "bang her". While she is in my dreams, she somehow remains in control. And I was merely pointing out a possibility, that maybe me knowing her feelings in awake life overpowers my control in my dream life. I hope the grammar in this entry was more satisfactory.

[LucidApprentice]

"Sentient being"? Just because a DC is not responding positively to dream control does not make it 100% a spirit or anything magical. Your idea that your sleeping mind just remembers her feelings towards you, and therefore her DC is responding as how you think she would respond to you in real life sounds like what probably is happening in my opinion. If you just want to talk to her...have you tried asking? Maybe offer to show her some cool tricks that you described in your first post? Good luck!

[Baron Samedi]

English is my first language, as for my grammar, I just wasn't writing like I was in English class. And if we are misunderstanding each other it's because I don't know how to word everything correctly here. This is the first time I have been on one of these boards, and first time knowing that a lot more people can do this than I originally thought. I always thought I just had the ability to recognize that I was in a dream and control it to an extent, I had never heard the term lucid dream before or the word sentient. Now, the person I speak of is a person that exists in this awake life, I knew her and I loved her, that is why I used the old expression "The one that got away." As for my misunderstandings towards your writings, I can't tell if you are trying to be philosophical when you say, "dream life is real life", because obviously in real life you can't fly. And after that comment, I can't tell if you want me to talk to her awake or asleep. If you are telling me to talk to her in a dream, I forgot to mention in the first post that I ask and beg for her to talk to me, and in the dream she still hides or runs. While it strikes true that I want to control other dream girls for less than noble activities, I do only want to talk to her, I didn't say "have her" before to mean "bang her". While she is in my dreams, she somehow remains in control. And I was merely pointing out a possibility, that maybe me knowing her feelings in awake life overpowers my control in my dream life. I hope the grammar in this entry was more satisfactory. Thanks for the clarification. Okay, when I say dream life is real life, you are alive and real when you dream, therefore dream life is real life just as waking life is real life. At first I thought you had only seen this woman in dreams. It sounds like it is actually her, her dream body. You and she are having the same dream. I suggest speaking to her in the dream.

[Amethyst Star]

I'm a bit more skeptical when it comes to the "shared dream" idea (though I'm not 100% opposed to it). I'm not discounting Nomad's idea, but it's more likely that she is one of your dream characters. How often does she show up? Do you usually summon her or does she just appear? You say you try chasing after her. Do you expect to catch up to her or do you think that she's going to get away? I'd recommend staying put and waiting for her to return. Perhaps present her with a gift. If this is something you really want to do, just remain persistent. Perhaps try to involve another DC to help you persuade her that you just want to talk. My next (mostly rhetorical) question is this: Why are you trying to catch her? Do you really just want to talk to her or are you trying to prove to yourself that you can do anything in your dreams and this challenge has been presented to you? If it's the first, what exactly is it you plan to say? If it's the second, consider this: a part of you might be aware that you're trying to "show off" and may be reluctant to permit this. Now, that's just one interpretation and I may be completely off, but it's just something to consider. At any rate, happy dreaming! -Amé

[frizzyfolife]

I will answer Amé's questions in order. - Yeah um...shared dreams? I don't think she's dreaming of me. - She shows up on her own. And no matter what the beginning looks like, I always end up chasing her through the woods. And earlier I compared that fact to the New Moon scene where Bella chases after Edward. Now before you say "well there is your connection" I had this dream multiple times before i saw that movie. - I want to catch her, but I keep up with her so it's hard to say that I'm afraid of her getting away. As far as persistence i run till i wake up. - As much as I like the idea of using a DC in my corner, the one skill I lack is summoning and we are always alone in the forest. I think things are a little different for everyone, I can control what "I" do after the realization of a dream state, which is easy for me because I never have dreams in like - realistic places - still worldly, but not my home or other buildings. But the who and where are preset. - All i want to do is talk to her. And when I'm around her i feel more powerless so it's not about "showing off" - Yes, I do have a plan what to say. I want to tell her that I love her but all I want is her company. Enough of the "I run you chase me" game, I will be content just with your presence. I do feel really protective of her and I did in real life punch a guy that groped her.

[theandresanchez]

Don't chase her. Don't ask for a response from her. When you sense her presence, just do something. Like say, start cooking her breakfast. Start telling a story or joke. Start doing something cool leaving her the option to join you, but without feeling like she has to. Don't demand a response. HOWEVER!!!! Clinging to "the one who got away" is very, very unhealthy. THEN AGAIN!!! Your behavior around her seems very desperate, needy, which might be why she "got away". If you can change this in the dream, there might still be a chance that you could fix your relationship in real life. Maybe. I don't know. Most women don't like to be constantly chased by needy guys. You may have an unconscious understanding of this, which is reflected in the dream.

[simm]

I would try a passive approach. Wanting something to much in a dream can definately get in the way. Trying your hardest to out run a beast for example, usually ends up with the feeling that your wading through mud or something. So maybe you can just say "ok you win, let's take a break from playing tag for now", then turn around and just accept that she will follow. I notice that sometimes you can have half lucids, so you know you are dreaming, but you keep playing along with the dream even you are just wasting time doing something boring. -like trying to convince somebody of something, or wasting time putting on your motorbike gear when you just wanted a change of scene.

[hgld1234]

She could be your DG. Ask her to show her face mabye?

[Moonsong]

I think that regardless of whether you are sharing a dream with the real-life "her" or she is just a defiant DC, you should stop attempting to will her. If she is sentient, than this simply won't work although you may be able to alter the shared dream and slow her down, maybe by making brick walls appear in front of her. Lots of options here. But if you are willing to accept the possibility that this is her, and you two keep falling into the same dream, you probably shouldn't go too far here. If she is a DC, which most people would find easier to believe, you obviously aren't having luck with your current methods. Perhaps there's just a mental block here. Whatever the case, try to reason with her. She must just be faster.

[Amethyst Star]

The questions I posed were, I hope, food for thought. I don't know your dreams as well as you do, so I didn't know if those were things you'd considered. At any rate, it's interesting how there are little things that we don't/can't control that make us feel like we have no control at all. Your options really are just to either continue to pursue her, or let her be. You can still talk to her even if she doesn't want you to catch her. It's your dream. Say what you want. See what happens.

[Baron Samedi]

I will answer Amé's questions in order. - Yeah um...shared dreams? I don't think she's dreaming of me. - She shows up on her own. And no matter what the beginning looks like, I always end up chasing her through the woods. And earlier I compared that fact to the New Moon scene where Bella chases after Edward. Now before you say "well there is your connection" I had this dream multiple times before i saw that movie. - I want to catch her, but I keep up with her so it's hard to say that I'm afraid of her getting away. As far as persistence i run till i wake up. - As much as I like the idea of using a DC in my corner, the one skill I lack is summoning and we are always alone in the forest. I think things are a little different for everyone, I can control what "I" do after the realization of a dream state, which is easy for me because I never have dreams in like - realistic places - still worldly, but not my home or other buildings. But the who and where are preset. - All i want to do is talk to her. And when I'm around her i feel more powerless so it's not about "showing off" - Yes, I do have a plan what to say. I want to tell her that I love her but all I want is her company. Enough of the "I run you chase me" game, I will be content just with your presence. I do feel really protective of her and I did in real life punch a guy that groped her. HI-5! You are a real man. I am looking forward to hearing about your results of you speaking with this dream woman.

[Klaudyw3]

If i were you i would just sit there and watch her run away. I would say "Hi" to her. Try to speak to her but if she doesn't want to just stop trying. She may or may not be a sentient beeing but the fact is that the two of you are in the same dream and you shouldn't try to force her come to you.If you know where she lives or if you used toy meet somewhere(judging by the fact that you love her) go there and wait for her. Or you can simply go take a walk and use your feelings to lure her in. In most of my dreams feelings are the most important things and if you really love her it shouldn't be difficult to talk to her, find her. Just project your feelings onto her and she should understand that you love her.

[frizzyfolife]

you probably shouldn't go too far here. What do you mean by that?

[Moonsong]

What do you mean by that? What I mean is that if you consider it could be the "waking life" her, which I understand can be a stretch in some cases, you certainly wouldn't want to do anything to her dream self that you wouldn't to her waking self. Just be careful in the things you do to try and catch her. It doesn't seem like she reacts well to your attempts to catch her anyway, so it really seems that you should change your tactics. Don't chase her. Make her come to you, try and work your charm on her, etc. Or maybe go somewhere in the dream world you have seen her in the waking world and see if she isn't there waiting for you.

[frizzyfolife]

Okay. For a second I thought you meant I wouldn't go far on this board and with DL's just because of this stubborn DC. The fact is that this is the only dream I can't control, but still have the recognition I'm dreaming.

[Moonsong]

Okay. For a second I thought you meant I wouldn't go far on this board and with DL's just because of this stubborn DC. The fact is that this is the only dream I can't control, but still have the recognition I'm dreaming. Oh no, sorry for the miscommunication. Na, anybody can go far here on DV. I hear some people even go all the way...

[frizzyfolife]

ok where i am its 3:30 am and i just thought of this site so tomorrow i will update everyone on the progress

[jimmychoo]

Time keeping is essential to dream weaving.IF you want something, go get it.

[dakotahnok]

shoot a web like spiderman and pull her to you

[monclerjackets1]

Dream and reality there is always the distance. But as long as willing to try could become reality. I do not think that "you think too much". Have a dream in life is good.

[frizzyfolife]

Okay after a month long ISP issue I can finally update. I tried most of the suggestions you all gave me. I tried picturing her in a place she would be, and that didn't work because my dreams tend to occur in extravagant or secluded places I would never see her. Then I tried the character control and found out that my control is limited to my own self and the when, where, and who seem to be prearranged from the beginning of the dream. And someone suggested stop running/chasing and the only one who stopped was me. But I did have a success. The dream began as usual, I'm alone in the forest and I hear her running up to and past me. I immediately start running after her and it was the forest for a while, but then we ended up on a long-long driveway with forest still on either side. Then the forest thins and we are headed for a ?Louisiana-Bayou-Plantation-Style? house if some of you know the look I'm trying to describe. And in front is kind of a roundabout road and in the center of its full grass with two old, twisted, yet lively trees (very symmetrical). She doesn't climb, but leaps into one of the trees and sits on a branch which caused me to stop perplexed. She says to me, "Oh come on, isn't this what you wanted?"....................Okay it is 4AM where I am so I promise, tomorrow, not a month from now, I will post the conversation portion of my dream.

[Amethyst Star]

It will be interesting to hear what she said

[frizzyfolife]

i believe the fact that i can't catch her proves no, and part of my whole schpeal asked any other more experienced LDers if they had any uncooperative selective controls or if they had any ideas why my control would be selective.

[Baron Samedi]

You cannot control her because she is sentient being. Communicate with her instead.