Strange dreams about my mother, help?

**lederstol** · 12-27-2010 08:46 AM

Hey Guys, I have been dealing with some strange dreams for a while, and I was hoping maybe someone here might have some insight. I have talked with my therapist about this and she seems to be stumped, so you guys are my only hope. A little background; Im 22 years old, have been living on my own for two years now. Previously I lived with my single mother, who is currently living in New York. We keep in contact, and have a very healthy relationship. I have been having these dreams for about a year now, I have had each of them so many times that they are like a clear image in my head at this point. At first they were not that frequent, but over time, they increased to the point that I have them several times a week. Alright, on to the dreams. The dream I have the most, usually starts of with my mom and me driving in a car. We usually reach a town, or some sort of village. The middle of the dream constantly changes, but the end result is almost always the same. It always comes to my mother physically fighting someone, in front of me. It shifts between being a brawl, to being an actual match. The length of the fight varies. It also seems that in the dream I never choose to intervene. The part of the dream that is absolutely always the same is the end. Whichever opponent my mother is fighting, wins. My mother always looks at me, and in the moment that she looks at me, her enemy hits her in the face, causing her to fall to the ground unconscious. In the dream I always run up to her and start trying to wake her up. The person she was fighting is never there past that point, it is just me and her. The rest of the dream just consists of me trying to wake her, but it is always to no avail. Something to note, is that in the dream my mom never has any blood or bruises, and that somehow I never fear for her safety, because I know for a fact that she is just unconscious. The dream usually ends with me stroking her hair, or simply holding her in my arms, waiting for her to wake. The second most frequent dream is a lot shorter, it usually consists of my mom playing catch with me on a grassy field. Unlike the other dreams, I am almost always a child in this one. After playing catch with a ball for a while, I suddenly feel as if I can throw the ball like Superman. At this point I always throw the ball at my mom, even though I know that It will be to fast for her to catch. The ball always hits her, and just like in the other dream, she always ends up unconscious, with me trying to wake her. So there you have it, very strange huh? There are other similar dreams I have about my mom, however they always end with her somehow rendered unconscious, I have even had a few where she simply faints in my arms. My therapist said to pay attention to what my mother wears in the dreams. What I noticed is that her clothes always change except for the fact that she is always barefoot. This is funny because my brother and I have a long running joke, that we have almost never seen our moms bare feet. Yet in every single dream I have about her, she has always been without shoes. I am really hoping that someone can provide some sort of theory on why I am having these dreams, or if not that than at least some sort of discussion. Because in all honesty, I don't think my therapist is very knowledgeable on this subject.

**underhiswing** · 12-28-2010 05:04 AM

Dreams should be first looked at in their most simple form. Your mom fights and loses when she looks at you. Second you play ball with your mom and you get confident and throw hard (stretching your wings in reality) and she checks out of consciousness=half alive. You and she are incorrectly connected. She is fighting her way through her life and you are a distraction that causes her to go into half life/half alive. She does not ever move forward to the next phase in life in your dreams. She is unconsciously compromising her life for you. When you play ball with her you start "feeling your oats" and throw the ball hard. This means you are exerting your adult manhood and she goes into a half alive state of suspension again. You and she need to back away from each other. She needs to let go of guiding you, and you need to stretch your wings (throw the ball hard) and both of you need to go on with your own lives. She is barefoot, and this means she is hyper in touch with her world, her feelings, and shows a rebellion against the rules of the establishment. She is a spiritual fighter and a social rebel, and you are not like her....are you...

**lederstol** · 12-28-2010 10:49 AM

Thank you for your comment, that is a very intelligent and interesting theory. However given a few more facts about the situation, you might see why I doubt it is the right one. First off, my mother is a teacher, who makes a decent living. Teaching a class has been her dream since childhood, and she is very happy in her work. As for my presence in her life, honestly its not that big. I live in a different state, I have a job, am going to college, and we only communicate a couple times a week. Therefore I don't see how I can be that much of a distraction to her. As for her lack of shoes in the dreams, my mom is actually the opposite of hyper, which is why it is so jarring to dream of her fighting someone. And given the fact that I so rarely see her barefoot, makes it strange that she always appears that way in the dreams. Something I might have neglected to mention, is that the dreams themselves are pretty long, but the situations where I hold her while she is unconscious, are easily the longest parts of the dreams. Sometimes it almost seems that I fall asleep while holding her, in order to properly wake up. Like I said there are some dreams where she just faints into my arms, and the entire dream consists of me holding her. Maybe I am just loosing my mind?

**underhiswing** · 12-28-2010 11:52 PM

You aren't losing your mind. There is a connection problem here, and this is the most obvious issue in reading your dream quotes. I know that you feel this relationship is ok, but dreams don't lie, and this is your dream.... not your mom's. Your subconscious is telling you through your dreams that something isn’t right in your view of your relationship with her.
I would like to point out that you have misunderstood a couple of my points. First, I didn't say she was hyper, I said she is "hyper in touch with her world" that is very different from hyper in general. She is a school teacher, and I have counseled many teachers. They are strong personalities, to say the least. Your distance in miles from her makes no difference in your spiritual connection with her. You think she is not living her fullest kind of life she can live because she keeps her eye on you, and this your perception and has nothing to do with what you are doing, or what she is doing. It may, however, be related to what she is NOT doing. You say her work and income is sufficient, but that is not all there is to life. Does she have a mate? Do you think she is where she wants to be as far as her faith? What do you think about her accomplishments or her personal growth level and/or her social life? You are concerned about her personal inner strength (because she faints in some dreams) and the condition of her spirit (she is fighting her way through life). Also, you cannot hold your mother throughout life. You have your own life to live and wanting to hold and protect her is a common “son-ship” role/desire. It is admirable, but it is right now, to the degree of holding you back from your fullest life. The connection you have between you is sweet, but the dysfunctional part is coming out from your subconscious into your dreams.. Anyway, tell her about your dreams, and show her this interpretation. It may not be 100% right on, but it will bring issues that should be discussed for your sake You both may surprised once you start discussing these real issues here. I am sure it will all come out and be resolved if you do. A son’s love and protectiveness of his mother is a beautiful thing, as long as it doesn’t cause him to carry her around in his arms through his daily life. This can be quite the burden. I wish you the best in life.