A slightly different take on gender swap dream.

**Metaphasic** · 04-23-2012 07:26 PM

First, this is my first post here. I know the forum is primarily about lucid dreaming, but I wasn't sure where else to get an unbiased review.

The following is a little about my history, important events, and how they made me feel.

I am a fourty-three year old heterosexual male. I am married and have six children: two boys and four girls.

When I was five, I was lured away from my yard by two grown men from a few blocks down. I was detained in a treehouse in their backyard, bound and gagged, and was molested. My father later found me later that same night. I never told anybody exactly what happened until last year. I didn't understand what they were doing, but I somehow felt it wasn't right. It didn't hurt though, so I was left more confused than angry, though I was still angry at being bound. It left me feeling weak and helpless. Since then, I had a very strong dislike for adults, especially males. I could not get along with them at all. It's been a real issue for me today in the workplace. I get along famously with children, especially females.

When I was around eight, my parents divorced. My father had begun having an affair and choose the new woman over my mother. Once again I was left confused and angry. On top of that, I felt abandoned by the one male I still loved and respected. The one that saved me earlier in my life. Since then, I have had a problem with abandonment, and not wanting to be alone. But at the same time, my trust issues often left me alone. Today, I do not work. I stay home with the kids, do housework, and play on the internet.

When I was around thirteen, my sister took up dance. Not long after, I decided to tag along. I found myself totally immersed in it. I loved it and wanted to join in too. Unfortunately, I lived in a major city, and went to a horrible inner-city school. I would not have been treated well had I signed up. Instead, I just went every time, sat and watched, and learned what I could. I always felt denied from something that could have been wonderful.

Now for a little about the dream I had last night.

The dream began with me, as I am now. It took place in a house from my imagination. The whole family was there: mom, stepdad, two brothers and my sister. My sister pulled me into a room and gave me a bag. In it was a skirt, a blouse, and a wig. She announced that she'd gotten some things that might help me, and assisted my in putting them on. When I did so, I actually became the girl I was dressing up to be. Oddly, I regressed in age to around ten or so. I thanked her and spent some time mingling with the family. Nobody noticed the difference, or that I had changed. Strangely I enjoyed being who I was at that time. My biggest fear during the dream was people discovering the secret. At one point, some girls from down the street came in to play. They were also around ten and loosely based on people I actually knew back when I really was ten. I grew close to one and wanted to kiss her, and she agreed. It was warm and nice, but short. The dream continued for a short while doing mundane things with no adverse events. Later, my sister pulled me back into the room and helped me out of the getup. As you might surmise, I reverted back to my real self.

Questions and stuff:

Ok, so this isn't a typical gender swap dream. It didn't start out with me being changed. I started out as me, and then made the change happen, later to be reversed before waking. I understand that often gender swaps are explorations (in this case of my feminine side), but I'm not sure in this case. I do not understand the change in age or what the kiss meant. I'm a little scared to find out, but I have to know.

Please, can somebody take the time to comment on this and what the different elements might mean? If I left out something important, please ask. It took a lot of personal willpower to make this post, so please don't let it go.

**OpheliaBlue** · 04-23-2012 09:42 PM

Hey Metaphasic. First of all let me start by saying that I'm no doctor, nor have I had any training in psychology what so ever. Except for having 2 shrinks for parents

That said, it might not hurt to get some therapy for what happened to you when you were 5. Since you said that you never told anyone about the molestation until just last year, this dream may be your subconscious trying to work stuff out. It's not uncommon for people, when they have been abused, to dream about becoming the opposite sex. So in a way, you have escaped from being the target of your abusers. That may have been part of why you were interested in your sister's dance class, since the dance clothes appeared in your dream as well. It's not unheard of for people who were sexually abused to even experience feelings of gender identity disorder. Again, it separates you from your male form, the form that those men targeted. As far as kissing the girl, there again, she would have been the equal opposite of your abusers. Instead of older men with control over you, it was a young girl, equal to you (since you were also a girl in the dream). In my opinion, it all boils down to feeling safe, and changing form to be safe from your abusers.

Again I am no expert, a therapist of some sort would have the true diagnosis. But I can tell you this, I was hurt and betrayed in several ways by men all through my childhood, including my father and my stepfather. And guess who likes to dream that she's a guy

Still I'm happy for you that after all that, you have a nice family and get to be with your kids. I wouldn't be surprised if you start having more dreams like this. Since you are in a safe place now (meaning you don't have to deal with male conflicts at work since you stay at home and take care of the kids), your subconscious feels free now to explore things that have happened to you, and the feelings that sprouted from those experiences. If you start having bad nightmares about the abuse, then again, I would highly recommend some therapy. You'll feel more in control working them out with a trained doctor, than suffering alone with nightmares about it.

Hope I was some help.

PM me if you ever need to talk more ok?
~ophelia