Thread: Insurmountable staircase, loose killer and other such oddities

Greetings,

Before I begin, there is something I intend to mention. The following dream is not actually mine, it happened to a very close friend that I have been chasing romantically for a while (she is completely aware of this, knows my intentions). She is usually very intrigued in her dreams, but she didn't feel this one was worth asking about, and so gave me permission to ask instead. As a result, I cannot express how she felt, nor does she remember feeling anything. I will try to give a brief overview of what each person involved means to her as best I can, however. This is how she recited it to me, as such it will be presented in first person. I don't have the patience to completely re-jig it.

Basically, I was meant to meet my sister (her sister and herself are not outstandingly close, they are on good terms though) at the train station and I was waiting for hours... So I went down the station and there were these stairs with a person on each step smiling at me. And I thought to myself 'what's going on?' Even though I kinda knew I was in a dream. And then I walked down the stairs that lead underneath the station and you (me that is, we are VERY close, we talk every evening for upwards of 3-4 hours. We have been physical before. She intends to reconsider the status of us not being in a relationship after we have finished our education) were there, but you didn't look at me, you were just walking. And I shouted your name and you looked back at me and I said 'what's happening?' I didn't understand why everywhere was so empty apart from underground. And you said 'didn't you hear? There's a crazy guy around here killing everyone'. And I said 'no! Where's my sister?' And then you said 'this way'. So I went to hold your hand but you didn't hold mine back. You lead me the way And then I had to go up some stairs to get to this flat (not actually my house), you were gone by this point, and I couldn't get past the last step... I was trying to climb up it and just couldn't. And I reached my hand out to my dad and asked him if he could help me and he rejected me (she does not share everything with her dad, he works extremely hard and has little time for her, but she loves him all the same). So I held onto him anyway and pulled myself up, and he spilt his coffee everywhere. Then him and my two sisters were shouting 'what are you doing?!' at me.

That's all the information I can give, if I have missed anything big forgive me. I fear that this will not be enough detail, but I am personally intrigued at what this could all mean. Your help is all much appreciated, thanks in advance!

I was hesitant to reply to this thread at first because I am not fully comfortable giving a dream interpretation to someone other than the dreamer, since a lot of the dream interpretation is actually a conversation between interpreter and dreamer - I think it is important many times to hear back the dreamer's response to the interpretation, corrections and additional details that might shed light in a different way. It is so easy to misinterpret a dream, especially since dreams have different meaning for different people, and only the dreamer knows best what is in his or her head. Furthermore, I am worried that the dreamer herself did not wish to pursue the meaning of his dream herself, though she gave you permission to do so.

However, I have decided to respond after all because if I am right, this may give you some additional understanding into your friend's concerns - however, please do confirm with your friend, and do not assume that any of this is correct, and if she denies any of is, please trust her to know her own mind much better than I do, of course.

The one thing that stuck out for me in this dream especially is the similarity between these two parts:

Originally Posted by Tekapeel

So I went to hold your hand but you didn't hold mine back.

And later

Originally Posted by Tekapeel

And I reached my hand out to my dad and asked him if he could help me and he rejected me (she does not share everything with her dad, he works extremely hard and has little time for her, but she loves him all the same). So I held onto him anyway and pulled myself up,

In both cases, she reaches for the man (you and then her dad), her advance is rejected, but she holds on anyway.

I think it is not uncommon for us to evaluate relationships in terms of comparing them to our parents and their relationships subconsciously. This does not mean that she thinks that you are like her dad I think, but it may mean that she subconsciously considers possible parallels, and maybe worries about them. He has little time for her, but as you said, she loves him anyway, and in the dream she holds on to his hand anyway, just as she held on to your hand.

I think incidentally her willingness to hold on despite the other not holding the hand in return may be a reflection on her character that she is the kind of person who does not give up on others who are important to her, even if they give her reason for concern.

Have you given her cause for concern by the way? It is curious that even though everyone else in the dream is smiling at her, then you do not look at her, and you refuse to hold her hand, and then you disappear from the dream.

Of course, the reason why you disappear may well be because her dad then appears, and the two of you represent kind of e same role, there is a parallel there, so that is why I think you are not in the dream at the same time, because in the dream you and her dad are kind of one dream character, the male in her life, the one who might be expected to reject her advances, or about whom she worries that he will reject her - remember this worry may not be actually a reflection of anything you did do, but rather may be a fear.

The fact that she is trying to climb up the stairs but cannot, this may be about inability to move to the next level. This may be about something different of course (all of my interpretations may well be wrong), but what if this is about the inability to take the relationship between you and her to the next level. Incidentally that is around the time you disappear and are replaced by her dad, and so one could speculate that maybe she is worried that she won't be able to take her relationship with you to a higher level because maybe she fears that you may reject her like her dad.

The coffee spill, followed by everyone shouting at her blaming her for it, unfortunately reminds me too much of my own relationship with my dad, and my resultant feelings of guilt where I will feel like something is my fault even when it is not, blaming myself. In general her dad sounds much like my own dad, who has always been a workaholic and yet I was daddy's girl when my parents divorced I staid with my dad. A lot of my personality and self esteem issues stem from the fact that my dad was too strict when I was growing up, and I blamed myself for every spill. Do you know whether her dad is too strict as well?

I have no clue why the killer is in this dream, except to perhaps add an emotional urgency, a feeling of emotional distress. When she hears about the killer, her first concern is where her sister is, so I would speculate that her family is important to her.

As I said earlier, all this could be wrong.

Originally Posted by JoannaB

I was hesitant to reply to this thread at first because I am not fully comfortable giving a dream interpretation to someone other than the dreamer, since a lot of the dream interpretation is actually a conversation between interpreter and dreamer - I think it is important many times to hear back the dreamer's response to the interpretation, corrections and additional details that might shed light in a different way. It is so easy to misinterpret a dream, especially since dreams have different meaning for different people, and only the dreamer knows best what is in his or her head. Furthermore, I am worried that the dreamer herself did not wish to pursue the meaning of his dream herself, though she gave you permission to do so.

A very valid set of concerns. I did indeed feel somewhat uncomfortable sharing this for all to see, given that it was not entirely my dream to share, though as I say I was given full permission to. I intend to make her aware of your response, should she want to hear it, and perhaps that would convince her to get involved and enlighten us on some of the finer details; thoughts, feelings and whatnot.

Originally Posted by JoannaB

I think incidentally her willingness to hold on despite the other not holding the hand in return may be a reflection on her character that she is the kind of person who does not give up on others who are important to her, even if they give her reason for concern.

Yes, this rings somewhat true. She looks after the people that care strongly for her, even if she doesn't feel the same way back.

Originally Posted by JoannaB

Have you given her cause for concern by the way? It is curious that even though everyone else in the dream is smiling at her, then you do not look at her, and you refuse to hold her hand, and then you disappear from the dream.

Incidentally enough, we argued shortly (a week or so?) before this dream occurred about the status of our relationship (me wanting to advance it, her on the opposite side). This led to both of us saying a somewhat final goodbye, and though we did make amends after and she claims it is in the past, I believe she is still sore.

Originally Posted by JoannaB

Of course, the reason why you disappear may well be because her dad then appears, and the two of you represent kind of e same role, there is a parallel there, so that is why I think you are not in the dream at the same time, because in the dream you and her dad are kind of one dream character, the male in her life, the one who might be expected to reject her advances, or about whom she worries that he will reject her - remember this worry may not be actually a reflection of anything you did do, but rather may be a fear.

We share all our worries with each other, and I do try to offer what meagre advice I can muster, in this respect I think she may subconsciously be making the parallel link between myself and her father. As for her fear of my rejection, she knows my aim is to make her happy, and she also knows I would never reject her anything. The latter is far different for her in regards to me.

Originally Posted by JoannaB

The fact that she is trying to climb up the stairs but cannot, this may be about inability to move to the next level. This may be about something different of course (all of my interpretations may well be wrong), but what if this is about the inability to take the relationship between you and her to the next level. Incidentally that is around the time you disappear and are replaced by her dad, and so one could speculate that maybe she is worried that she won't be able to take her relationship with you to a higher level because maybe she fears that you may reject her like her dad.

This intrigues me; before we had the aforementioned argument, her and I shared (by her own admission) a relationship almost identically akin to that of a couples, in all but the label attached to it. This seems oddly similar to the stairs, she climbs all but the last step; very similar indeed. The spark that ignited the argument was her telling me that she hadn't wanted any of that, but rather had been doing it to make me happy, in tone with her 'look after the ones who care for her' philosophy. I cannot comment on the rejection topic, in the last two large elements of the dream you comment on particularly, her opinion would be far more valuable than my own.

Originally Posted by JoannaB

The coffee spill, followed by everyone shouting at her blaming her for it, unfortunately reminds me too much of my own relationship with my dad, and my resultant feelings of guilt where I will feel like something is my fault even when it is not, blaming myself. In general her dad sounds much like my own dad, who has always been a workaholic and yet I was daddy's girl when my parents divorced I staid with my dad. A lot of my personality and self esteem issues stem from the fact that my dad was too strict when I was growing up, and I blamed myself for every spill. Do you know whether her dad is too strict as well?

All too often she does blame herself for things beyond her control, she does feel guilt for things she wasn't responsible for. I wouldn't like to say whether she believes he is too strict, that would be one for her to answer, but I do know she feels that her dad has become more restrictive as each of his daughters grow up (her being the youngest, she believes she has received the least freedom).

Your interpretations are more than welcome, my greatest gratitude for the time you have obviously spent on these musings, I am very thankful indeed. I will try to become a regular contributor to this section of the website, 'tis the least I could do. I will be sure to ask about any dreams of my own that I find strike a chord!

A different line of interpretation that has occurred to me after reading your response: what if the line of who is the dreamer and who the dream characters are is blurred. You said that you wanted to advance the relationship and she did not: it appears that in the dream there is a bit of a role reversal there since she is the one who wants to hold hands but you do not. In dreams it is not unusual for the dream characters to also represent aspects of the dreamer's own personality, so the "male" part of her personality rejects the holding of hands, and perhaps she perceives that part of her personality as being more like her dad (subconsciously seeing a parallel in her own behavior or emotions to her dad's). This could be a struggle between two parts of her personality in the dream, the one who wants to hold hands and the one who does not. She identifies in the dream with the part who does, but more of the dream characters reject the idea (as if it is outnumbered in her mind), and she has trouble climbing to a higher level with the part of her personality who seeks closer relationship, and then the other parts of her personality all blame that part for "what are you doing?!" - most of her personality rejecting her holding on despite her own rejection. This for example could be about an inner struggle and second thoughts about whether taking the relationship to a higher level is something she desires or rejects.

Both of those possible meanings do have a certain sort of resonance, methinks. As I say, I will attempt to get the lady herself to take an interest in this, I think she may be rather intrigued upon hearing your thoughts. Until then, if anyone else reading this thread has any differing opinions or something to build on what has already been mentioned; please, I'm all ears.

Thank you very much for your help, it is much appreciated!