Thread: my suicide?

If it helps I will tell what I remember before that. I was with friends. One of the girls was crying so I leaned over and hugged her and comforted her..I was thinking about my other girlfriend there though. She seemed to have some animosity for this girl. That worried me because I didn't want to lose either as a friend. I believe the girl who was crying was my other friend's ex boyfriend's new girlfriend. Then I did something bad. When no one was looking the boyfriend leaned into kiss me and I kissed him back. (Bear in mind I have never had any attraction to him in waking life, but he has tried things on me before.) This part might be a little TMI so prepare. We girls were all in a hallway. They had their pants off and I noticed they were all on their periods and I wasn't. I pointed it out. One of them threw their used...pad at me. It was disgusting. I'm sorry to bring it up but it might mean something. Anyway I was totally disgusted. Then I was somewhere else. It looked like a boardwalk. I walked into this building, I think it was a lighthouse. But Wal-Mart employees worked there and I was wondering why. They were also from a pretty distant town. Not the Wal-Mart close to us. I inquired about a job there and they told me where they were from, I realized how far that was and that I didn't have a vehicle to make it there. I had nostalgia in this lighthouse. I saw pictures of my teenage self. I was a lot thinner and I felt an ache to go back. That's when I saw a picture of me in a bathtub and it turned into reality. In the picture the hairdryer was submerged in the water and that's why I felt it was safe to put it there, and that I should. Because I was smiling in the bathtub. It obviously wasn't harming me.

I had a dream somewhat similar before. However, in this dream I was in the tub and suddenly the water kept rising and i was being pushed down under the water by an invisible force. It was because I was stressed thinking of something before i went to bed and had anxiety. However, I'm not sure where the headache came from for you. Perhaps it was part of what caused your nightmare. Reading the other part of the dream makes me think that there may be something in your life that you feel isn't bad yet but has a possibility to be bad. It can be because of the boyfriend who tried things on you or something else. Can you think of anything that was stressing you out before you went to bed?

I drifted off pretty peacefully when I went to bed. Although I have just had a bad feeling all day..just been out of it. The headache went away after a few seconds of waking up. It was like nothing I've ever felt before, and I get migraines. Just a very strong, throbbing, very painful pressure. That sounds about right. I feel like I've been getting bad feelings and omens lately and I have no idea what it's about. I've been meditating a lot more frequently in the past two or three weeks. Maybe that has something to do with it.

Originally Posted by jgs2390

I drifted off pretty peacefully when I went to bed. Although I have just had a bad feeling all day..just been out of it. The headache went away after a few seconds of waking up. It was like nothing I've ever felt before, and I get migraines. Just a very strong, throbbing, very painful pressure. That sounds about right. I feel like I've been getting bad feelings and omens lately and I have no idea what it's about. I've been meditating a lot more frequently in the past two or three weeks. Maybe that has something to do with it.

I read before that meditation can cause nightmares. Don't know why but maybe the meditation does have something to do with it.

Maybe it does. I'll have to do some researching. Thank you for your input.

I read that it can be the minds way of bringing subconscious fears to the surface that you were less aware of before meditating, and cleansing them. Makes sense to me. Now to figure out what it was saying to me.