A few nights ago I had a dream that really affected me and I would love some interpretation of it if possible!

About me: I am a girl in my late teens who is fairly intelligent. I have some issues with friendships/relationships in that I have been let down severely in the past and I now have trust issues. I like to be alone a lot of the time and yet when I see my friends doing things without me or leaving me out, I feel extremely down and depressed, even if I am not being left out at all. I also get extremely jealous and suspicious of people for no real reason. I went through a period of self harming but I have been clean for almost a year now. Previously I have tried to open up to people about the way I feel but whenever someone gets close to me I tend to push them away. I'm not sure if this is too much information but I feel it is connected to the dream!

Anyway, my dream started with me walking along in the part of town which one of my 'close friends' lives in. As I walked past her house, I felt a sharp scrape along my back and turned round to see a man holding a knife/saw to my back. Another man appeared and pulled a strap of my bag, opening it but not taking it away from me. He took out of the bag my phone and purse (wallet) but also my sister's phone and purse which were in my bag for some reason. I didn't make any attempt to stop either one of them, and when he took my house keys out of my purse he actually pushed them into my hands and pushed me towards the door to open it. Somehow my house keys opened the door (which was neither the door of mine or my friend's house) and the men pushed me into a house that was unrecognisable to me. They pushed me into a wall and down onto the floor and then attacked my face and back with a knife. The pain was excruciating and felt as though it was ripping apart my face, but did not seem to draw any blood. Somehow I also had my phone hidden in my hands, and tried to text my mother to tell her I was in danger, but my texts would not send. The men were laughing whilst they attacked me, and after about 20 minutes they ran out of the house, which now had a completely open front so I could be seen from the street. I lay there in pain for quite a while before thinking to call 999, which I eventually did.

The next part I remember of my dream was seeing myself on the television on the news talking to Oprah (?) about how I was attacked, with scars, cuts, bruises and strange V-shaped marks that were like burns or bites on the edge of my face and down my neck and back, but no marks covering the majority of my face. Strangers in the street stopped me to tell me how brave I was, and how bad they felt for me. Later I saw my friends and they showered me with gifts and attention. They were obviously so sorry for what had happened to me, but I began to feel guilty as every time I thought back to the attack, I thought of it as less and less serious and like I was making too much of a big deal out of it. I also saw something in my friends' eyes that told me they were only being so attentive to me because they felt bad for me. However, although I knew the friendship they showed was not genuine, I still enjoyed it and was glad of it.

Later I found out that the police had identified my attackers. One of them turned out to be a woman, and looked like a girl I vaguely knew a few years ago, and one was a man I recognised from somewhere but couldn't place. The two had admitted they were the ones who attacked me, and yet the police seemed to do nothing about it, not arrested or detain them. I got angry that my attackers were not being punished, but the more angry I got and tried to explain how much the attack had hurt me, my cuts and bruises began to fade, until I was left with just a single V-shaped cut between my left eye and ear. The police and the attackers started laughing at me, and eventually got bored and left me. The dream ended with me alone, crying and feeling bitterly let-down, before I woke up.

When I woke up I remembered all of my dream vividly and yet strangely I felt upset that I was no longer in the dream. I loved the attention my friends, family and strangers had given me even if it was fake. Later on in the day as I felt left out again from my friends, I began wishing that the attack would really happen so that I could get their attentions and sympathies. However I also feel very uneasy when I think about the dream, almost scared (typing this out was not very fun!), and I now feel paranoid that I am going to be attacked, even though a part of me wants at least the consequences of it.

I am very confused and any help would be appreciated as to either what my dream means or how to get away from it! Thank you