So you feel that your life is over now that the guy has gone, and you have moved back home to your folks?
You don't want to be back at home, for the guy to be gone and for your life to be over...
There is some fear about waking up and finding that someone is going or gone, that you have lost someone or something more - maybe yourself, maybe your job, maybe that guy (you never told us how the date went, btw...).
What happened to your friend is very similar to what has happened to you, huh? You must be close, but you are not fated to lose the man.
You started your job because the relationship ended? When you moved home?
It has been only two months, yet you feel compelled to go have dates with strangers you met online - you must have been talking a while, so I guess you had a short period of being upset and - because of your new job and not going out in the new area to meet local people, you have no close friends other than this girl and ... some man...
It seems like you are terrified of being alone, more specifically, a man leaving you.
Yet, as soon as you feel you start to recover from one disaster, you are setting up what could potentially be another...
I would take up a new hobby that involves a group, where you make friends instead of meeting people only because you have to (work) or with an agenda (date).
Where is your self?
What is wrong with being alone, or without a man?
Why must you risk opening a wound before it is healed, by allowing strangers to scratch at it?
I do not understand why you do this, but your dream shows that you are in no way over what has happened to you, and nothing will be fixed by plastering the wound with a new date.
My internet time is over, but I think that is enough anyway.
"You're the only one who saves me from myself", an independent woman.
https://youtu.be/Z1SJpNQIU7I
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