Why did I dream about the 3 people I miss in such a strange way..

**rosie21** · 02-04-2018 06:25 PM

Hi, my name is Rosie.
I had a rather complicated upbringing - I never knew my father and my mother, who was severely bipolar and violent towards me, died when I was 13. After she died I went to live with my grandparents, who I was close to anyway and always longed to live with them, but obviously living with someone is very different to spending 1-2 hours a day with them. They were very controlling and, sometimes, didn't really give me a lot of independence. In short, they treated me like my mother, who was regularly be off the rails when she was in her teenage years. However, I am nothing like her and it angered me when they compared me to her.

When living with my mother, I was severely neglected - she couldn't look after herself let alone myself. She would often be violent towards me, however I understand it was not her fault. I'm not a person to be open about feelings or anything like that, so when all of this was going on I just carried on. People say, "Oh, that must've been hard", but it wasn't, I just lived and did the same things as everyone else. However, sometimes my actions in terms of relationships and close friendships could be rather odd - I used to struggle a lot.

I wouldn't say that I was a 'clingy' person but I was very afraid of losing those around me and would worry a lot. Sometimes, I would just take things to far (not in an inappropriate way) but in a way that would attract a lot of attention. When something great happened, I would hold onto it, maybe a bit too much, and this happened regularly with people who came in and out of my life - basically, I could be a bit obsessive. Obviously, I realised this (the hard way).

I moved on from all that and decided to get closer to this person who I had drifted from in the past. It was one of the best decisions and we just clicked straight away - you really wouldn't have though we hadn't spoken properly in about 4 years! I vowed that I would never be 'obsessive' with him, simply because I could never do it to him. Things were going great, there was such a great connection between us and he was such a fun person to be around - it also had such a positive influence on my confidence and I became close with some amazing people as a result.

However, as always, it didn't last. I was told a few times that the feelings were mutual by some friends, and, even when I admitted my feelings for him, he distanced himself, like he was scared or something which is weird as he's not one to hold back in those situations. Eventually, we argued, quite a few times

. The problem was that we'd get super close and then he'd back off and say he has feelings for someone else. This obviously hurt me a lot to the point where I didn't know if it was worth it anymore and we'd pick fights out of nothing. Well, we haven't spoken in nearly 3 months now. He's had a girlfriend since but it lasted 2 weeks

and it was an obvious rebound relationship (don't know why). Sometimes I miss him loads and then other times I hate him

. But I've been missing him for a while now and have been wondering whether he does too. I've accepted that he's not perfect, there are things I dislike about him but I still miss the time we spent together and would love to talk to him again, as long as the effort would be equal

Last night I had about 3 dreams morphed into one. The first dream was that my mother's ashes had fallen all over my bed and on the floor and I was quickly trying to put them back in the pot before anyone came in. 2 days ago was when I first found how my mother had died and I didn't exactly take it well. I tend to hide my grief for my mother because I know that if I was to face it head on, I'd have to face the abuse and neglect that I was put through also and I don't want to relive it, therefore, I hide it. The other dream was about my younger cousin, whom I haven't seen in a few weeks and I miss talking to him and spending time with him. We were in my bedroom watching some of his favourite films/programmes, just spending time with each other. The last dream was about that guy that I rambled on about (opps...

). Just before the new year, when he got with his new girlfriend, I saw him standing outside a shop while I was waiting with a friend. She told me he kept looking at me but I just blanked him. He then walked out and walked away with his new girlfriend and that was the last time I saw him for a little while. It hurt to see it happen but I was going to have to face it at one point. In my dream I was sitting in a hospital and I was pregnant. He walked out of the lift and smiled at me and just walked away into the distance..scarily similar to how he walked away with his ex but this time he acknowledge me instead. Then, somehow, I ended up in Barcelona by a pool. Just in case it matters, Barcelona is my favourite place. I love the language, the culture, just everything about it, and again, I miss being there. I just feel like I belong there

.

Sorry for such a ramble, but thank you if you read this far

**Darkmatters** · 02-04-2018 07:16 PM

This is a very well presented request for interpretation - you gave a lot of good relevant information, something that many people don't do, so thank you for that.

I'm going to give my first impressions, which is sometimes the best interpretation, but sometimes on later reflection more comes to light that would change the interpretation. So I often like to give my first impression (assuming I get a strong one) and then possibly later come in and revise if I begin to see things I missed the first time.

Ok, your mother's ashes falling out and you trying to scoop them rapidly back into the jar. It's possible that it means you're in some way acting like your mother would. Sort of becoming her - as if her behavior is "spilling out" into your own personality. Your house in a dream often represents your life, and so a bedroom could represent the most inner or personal part of your personality. You trying to scoop it back in before anybody could see it (I assume desperately, you didn't mention any feelings associated with it) could mean that you're trying to bottle it up or stop acting like her before anybody notices. Or maybe before you notice? It is very common after all for us to begin acting like our parents when we grow up - even (sometimes especially) in the ways we really don't want to.

The second dream sounds like maybe just a pleasant interlude - maybe just a moment of pleasure before the next harsh part? I don't know, but I didn't get any particular impression from that one, unless it's just hopeful that your life can return to those pleasant memories the way you want it to.

Third dream (or third part I suppose). I think you put yourself in your boyfriend's place, felt what you made him feel when you ignored him. This seems to be very common in dreams. I don't think we always accurately see what the other person felt, maybe in the dreams we instead see what we either hope or fear we made them feel. The fact that he smiled at you this time could mean he was not hurt when you ignored him, but that he is happy going into his new life. Not too sure about this one, and not sure I worded it very well.

The fact of you being pregnant - often in dreams a child or pregnancy represents new possibilities that need to be nurtured and protected for some time but that, if they grow the way they should, will create a new life. In other words, I think it might represent that you're seeing his new relationship as something that might become permanent, that might grow to become his 'new life'. If I'm right that you were 'in his place' in the dream, then the pregnancy was his, not yours. Hey, I know - weird right, but dreams speak a completely symbolic language and don't need to follow actual biological reality.

Barcelona. Again it sounds like a pleasant interlude - or maybe a wish for happiness, by showing you the most pleasant place you remember being.

I might be way off, I don't know. But this is what occurred to me right off the bat.

**rosie21** · 02-04-2018 08:34 PM

Originally Posted by Darkmatters

This is a very well presented request for interpretation - you gave a lot of good relevant information, something that many people don't do, so thank you for that.

I'm going to give my first impressions, which is sometimes the best interpretation, but sometimes on later reflection more comes to light that would change the interpretation. So I often like to give my first impression (assuming I get a strong one) and then possibly later come in and revise if I begin to see things I missed the first time.

Ok, your mother's ashes falling out and you trying to scoop them rapidly back into the jar. It's possible that it means you're in some way acting like your mother would. Sort of becoming her - as if her behavior is "spilling out" into your own personality. Your house in a dream often represents your life, and so a bedroom could represent the most inner or personal part of your personality. You trying to scoop it back in before anybody could see it (I assume desperately, you didn't mention any feelings associated with it) could mean that you're trying to bottle it up or stop acting like her before anybody notices. Or maybe before you notice? It is very common after all for us to begin acting like our parents when we grow up - even (sometimes especially) in the ways we really don't want to.

The second dream sounds like maybe just a pleasant interlude - maybe just a moment of pleasure before the next harsh part? I don't know, but I didn't get any particular impression from that one, unless it's just hopeful that your life can return to those pleasant memories the way you want it to.

Third dream (or third part I suppose). I think you put yourself in your boyfriend's place, felt what you made him feel when you ignored him. This seems to be very common in dreams. I don't think we always accurately see what the other person felt, maybe in the dreams we instead see what we either hope or fear we made them feel. The fact that he smiled at you this time could mean he was not hurt when you ignored him, but that he is happy going into his new life. Not too sure about this one, and not sure I worded it very well.

The fact of you being pregnant - often in dreams a child or pregnancy represents new possibilities that need to be nurtured and protected for some time but that, if they grow the way they should, will create a new life. In other words, I think it might represent that you're seeing his new relationship as something that might become permanent, that might grow to become his 'new life'. If I'm right that you were 'in his place' in the dream, then the pregnancy was his, not yours. Hey, I know - weird right, but dreams speak a completely symbolic language and don't need to follow actual biological reality.

Barcelona. Again it sounds like a pleasant interlude - or maybe a wish for happiness, by showing you the most pleasant place you remember being.

I might be way off, I don't know. But this is what occurred to me right off the bat.

Thank you for replying!!

I agree with the part about my mother - the one thing I have always been afraid of was turning into her.

However in the third part, he was never my boyfriend (you're not the first to make that mistake!) and the he has now broken up with that girlfriend. I ignored him that time because we had argued and he had got with another person so I didn't want to think about him.