Thread: Dreams of Some Significance

The dream begins from the onset with a subtle lucidity. There is the knowledge that this is a dream state present. I also know that I must find a way around feelings of desire and attachment that are present.
I am driving in my car to a destination. I am going to meet a woman I have known for 25 years, a woman whom I was very attached to early on. I havnt seen her for at least 15 years and havn't heard from her in about 3 years or so.
In this dream her husband , whom is a great deal older than her, is dying. I have the feeling I am summoned there to help her deal with grief and attachment.
While on the way there my own past feelings of desire and attachment rise and fall like great waves on a turbulent ocean. Images come and go. I seem to fight them, then supress them. Alwys seemingly caught up in them over and over again no matter how I move to deal with them.
Then I move to see them as being transparent. They are there and I recognize them and their movements, but in a transparent way. Instead of riding upon them I move completely through them, as though they themselves move through me without getting caught on me or me getting caught on them.
It is at this point I arrive at a house. I park the car out back to the west of a garage and a picket fence. I go through a gate and its as if I am present with the family in mind watching the events going on on the house without actually being there. I see here husband in a bed. She is tending to him.
Someone comes out and greets me. It seems as if it is one of her brothers. He directs me to get some medicin in a refirgerator. He says it is on top of a package of hot dogs.
I look in the refirigerator in the house and find nothing. I am told it is in the refrigerator out back. I go to the garage and find a second refrigerator there. Again I find no medicine. Then I have an image of a third refrigerator out to the west of the garage near where I parled the car. I have a image of it being there when I drove up, walking by it unnoticed as I walked in the gate.
I go to that thrid one and again seem to find nothing. I feel a warm presence. It is the woman, my friend, standing behind me . She is in tears. I have images arise within me of her husband being taken from the bed about to die. The view shifts back to er standing in front of me. All my own desires and attachments are no where to be found, it is as if I do not exist as who I have been. That psyche has been removed. I am there for her and all my being is directed in an outward pouring towards giving here the understanding and comfort she is in need of, is looking for. I am telling her things ( though I do not know what it is I was sayoing other than it had to do with the spiritual realities of being rather than ophysical existance and false consoling of grief. It seemed as if she grasped what was being said and her grief was subsiding.

At this pont I wake up from the dream, or did I?

Believing myself awake going over the above dream in my mind, I am laying there and I suddenly have thoughts of the spiritual teacher Baba Ram Dass. Images and words from some of his writings and the movie he made " Fierce Grace" are racing in front of me. I have never met this person, yet I feel vividly as if I am in the same room as he is, with him in front of me.
At first the thoughts are of me being there because it is me that is seeking teaching from him, yet there almost immediately there is the knowledge present that What I seek is not there to be found from him. Its as if it is he is seeking something himself. Its as if he, or his seeking is what has summoned me there. There the experience ends as the alarm clock goes off.


Was I awake or asleep dreaming? Was it a dream or imagination? Very odd. I simply do not know for sure.

In a house. Sort of a split level, but older. Main floor contains living, dining and kitchen. Seems to the back there is an even older part of the house which has an upper and lower floor to it.
Seems I move from the main area to the lower level in the back . There is a bathroom there to the left with no walls. The toilet is missing and there is just a cap over the pipe where it would be. I go upstairs to the second floor. There is a play room filled with childrens toys. All of the toys are scattered all over the floor out in the open.
Amidst the toys is trash mixed in. Old pop[corn spliied on the floor, candy remnants, wrappers, and paper coverings of food and toys everywhere.
I get down on the floor and am playing around with the toys and while playing I sift all the trash out and begin to throw it away.
After a few moments of doing that I get up and move back to the stairs. To the right there is another apparent bathroom, just as the one downstairs directly below. No wall, and no toilet. There is a piece of paper half covering the end of the pipe where the toilet would be. I move the paper over to completely cover the hole.

The dream view shifts. It seems as if I have just had my eyes opend to a new teaching relating to eastern spritual writings. I find myself being led by two persons, both men. They seem like they are hiding something from me as we go into this fenced in area. As we get to the gate I have an inner feeling, a presence filling me with a awareness about these two. I sense the need to get away from them, not out of fear so much as out of heeding this intuituitive feeling.
I break away and run to the back of a old farm building. They go past it and lose me . I watch as they meet up with some others. Seems they have an intent to do me harm, at least this is the first intuitive impulse.
I suddenly find myself totally and completely lucid, I even say out loud to myself that this is a dream. I realize I can take whatever action I need to regardless of normal physical laws. I move to run fast. It does not work. I try to fly and then jump, but neither work. Its as if I am barely able to move at all. The more i try to do anything but stand there the more slowly I end up moving, like being paralyzed. My focus is then redirected to the persons who were after me . Seems as If there is something I need to be aware of. then I am pulled quickly away from that view . Before another view can take shape the dream suddenly ends there.

An interesting intuitive thought came up shortly after I awoke this morning from this dream. It stems from a piece I read the night before by the Islamic Sufi Poet Rumi. The thought was that the toys in the room represent al the material world, the physical patterns in it, and the human psyche that all of it is processed through. The trash intermixed represents all of the impersonal human constructs, such as governments, religions, groups, organizations and such. The thought goes even deeper than that too, covering judgement and perception in relation to the previous. Collective humanity in short. That was the feeling.
All that was left in this perception, this thought, that seemed important and more aligned with the toys was the individual and the interaction of one individual with another, not through any group or collective body.

It has come to light that these two men in the latter part quite likely represent attachment and desire. They seem as old friends leading one into a cage, and once in the cage the gate will be locked behind and you will be imprisoned to endure self inflicted suffering and solitude.

At a two story house. I enter the ground level. Everything seems dirty and desolate as though the house has not been used in a very long time. The dreamview is quite strange as I seem to be looking around inside while having an almost vivid awareness of the outside in the same moment.
There is a second floor to this structure, but I cannot seem to locate stairs going up to it. There are pieces of furinture lying sparsely here and there, some on their sides others sitting upright. Everything is covered in a thick layer of dust.
Walking around in the lower floor its like there is a room in the center of that floor, a walled room that you can walk all the way around. There are windows in the exterior walls and a door to the street at the front of the house. There do not seem to be any openings into this central room.
There are two or three, maybe four other persons with me. When two of them walk out of sight I and this other person find a hidden door into this room. We go in and find a old wooden ladder going up to the second floor. Nothing else seem to be in the room but a chair lying on its side.
We go up to the second floor. Up there it appears to be a childs playroom. There are a few old dirty toys scattered on the floor. Seems I remember a blackboard on a stand with colored chalk and some stick drawings of persons and such on it in different colors. Seems as if there were other pictures hangin or taped up on the walls, not sure as I never focused directly on them. I have a weird sensation of looking up from the inside and looking at myself in some form while also in the same moment looking from the outside down into the room looking again at myself in there.
At that moment or shortly thereafter, without moving there seems to be a shift in the view. Its as if another house is within this house, existing as in another dimenssion or plane. The view is now from within this other structure.
The layout of this house is almoist exactly like the first only with one distinct difference. There is no ladder going down through a hidden room. Instead There is a wide stairway with red carpet going down to the left to the first floor.
The person I am with on the upper floor tells me I must go down the stairs and bring something back with me. There is something I must do when coming back up to open the way back up at the top of the stairs because once I proceed down there is some sort of dimensional door that will close at the top of the stairs. I can see through it but cannot go through it. It seems that this something I am to bring back is part of me , something within me, some aspect. I am not clear as to what that is. All I know is that it cannot come through the doorway by any other means than what was specified to me by this person. I am also warned that the two others are down there waiting for me. They will do everything they can to stop me from getting back.
I go down the stairs and find that the layout of the structure is about the same as the previous structure, only this one is rich in color, clean and polished. Rather elegant yet simple at the same time. The main difference is that there is the stairs on the left side of the building and the wall to the center room to the west is not there. INstead you can walk around and back under the stairs. The stairs block the way so you cant go all the way around on the first floor like you could in the previous structure.
Almost immediately the two men are after me. Whats intersting is that these two men are dressed kind of like the agents in the movie "the Matrix". They are shooting at me with some sort of light beams. Whne they hit me it seems as if these beams try to change the way I resonate with the surroundings around me. Everytime I get hit I find it inreasingly difficlut to get back to the stairway, and have progressively more trouble remembering what it is I had to do to open the doorway at the top of the stairs.
I have the knowledge that these men cannot go up the stairs so I head back to the stairs and stay there trying to decide what to do next.
There the dream ends.
This dream also seems to carry the same metaphor as the prevoius dream listed in this journal. The dirty, dull appearance of the structure at first is as a shadowy reflection of the true appearance of the structure as represented in the latter part of the dream. It is a likeness of our situation of being trapped in the world we all live in thinking it the end all and be all of existance. When we do find our way out and back to the original state of things we are astonished at just how ignorant we were, how very trapped.
These dreams leave off where I seem to be in my view of reality, at a juncture waiting for a change of some sorts, a shift in awareness, or perhaps a letting go of sorts to make room for a true shift in perspective, without hanging onto or continueing to grasp at the former ignorant way of seeing.

My view begins moving rapidly above the ground as if flying disembodied. First over fields, low rolling hills and valleys up towrds a snow capped mountain range rising out of the foot hills. Approaching these mountans the view statrs rising high into the air and veering off the the left. Then plummeting downward in a dive it ends up inside a structure that seems half completed on the upper level. There are stairways going down to engineering and mechanical areas like on a ship. Things seem to be a mix of construction of a normal house and the insides of a Star Trek Starship.
Mr Scott, chie engineer of the Starship Enterprise is there with a couple of other persons. It seems as if the ship is heavily damaged and about to be destroyed. We are trying to make our way to people trapped in the forward part of the ship to rescue them. Mr Scott is referring to me as the captain. The plan is once we get there we and these people must get to the shuttlecraft hanger and make an escape.
Scott is working on isolating hull breaches and trying to get access to the hangar bay controls while I make my way forward to get the people trapped there.
As I move my way through the ship I end up having to seal off hallways and doors as breaches open up in the hull as I go. Getting back is going to be like going through a maze.
After what seemed like a long time I get to the forward areas and meet up with the people. There are about a dozen people more or less. Some friends, some family others I have never seen before.
We make our way back to MR Scott tediously through the maze of open and sealed off corridors. Once back in an area where Mr Scott is next to some controls and two stairways going down, it is suggested I look in an area down the right set of stairs for more survivors.
I go a ways down in there and do find more people. Turning back to takle them to the others I feel a presence of some threat. I see the shimering outline of some sort of energy forms or patterns. First one then another. They seem to enter the people, or person , though once in the person I can still see the pattern by itself while it is in them.
Once in the person the pattern seems to cause a change in the way the people percieve the world around them. They no longer wish to follow me to their own safety. Its as if they do not believe anything I am telling them about the situation around them. They seem at times to me almost posesses of some mild insanity.
I find I have to do battle with these people in their posessed condition. My troubles are in that I must fight the pattern inside them without engaging the persons body so as not to do them harm. After a few difficult exchanges I find I can bring the person to actually fight the pattern themselves, within themselves and thus dissolve the posessing pattern.
After the initial person is freed however, I find therr is an abundance of these patters lurking in this shipwreck. One person is freed and almost immediately another is stalked and posessed. The paterns always come in pairs, first one pattern then the other, always attacking the individual targeted as a team.
I manage to make my way ack to Mr Scott with this group of survivors after some lengthy battles with these patterns. Mr Scott is working on getting the mechanism to work that make the hanger bay doors open. We finally get it to work and start to plan our next move when the dream ends.

Again, this dream I feel has the same sort of metaphorical meanings as the last two in reference to the two patterns. I believe these patterns to represent attachment and desire. Each dream seems to expand on the previous in one way or another. Very interesting and thought provoking

I find myself getting into a truck with a freind of mine. Seems he is going to go fishing and I am going with. There is a boat in the back of the truck. Its a nice sunny day with scattered big white clouds. I feel energized, at peace and content.
Seems we shift and I am driving. I am driving the truck with my mind. When I focus on where we are going the truck seems to steer itself and follows the path of the mind. Something is said and my focus breaks and shifts to driving the truck. I cant seem to make it go where I need it to go. I losee control of it.
The dreamview shifts.
I am up high in the sky in what seems to be a big airship. I and a bunch of other people are in the framework hanging under the airship.Seems there is power equipment show going on there. A large chainsaw is clamped in a holder. for demonstrating its running. The only way to get it out is to split the chain and take it out. I see the saw run and among other general things in the awareness I see the master link in the chain that is necesary to remove to split the chain.
Someone says if you can get the saw out you can have it. I shifft to focus on the master link and find that I can no longer find it. Try as I might its just not there. Sveral of us are fighting over getting the saw first. I shift my focus to using the saw to cut firewood at home and in the awareness there ( kind of like in ones peripheral vision) I see the master link again. I remove it and get the saw. Next thing I know I am home cutting firewood.
Dreamviw shifts again. This time I am in town with my wife and the kids are there too. Seems she is going to meet me somewhere.... at a hobby shop , once the kids get gathered together. I go ahead to the store. Going there I seem to know where it is. Once I shift to focus on the store itself I cant find it or remember where it is at. Something occurs and shifts my mind to being at the store and wallah! there the store is, found it.
Going inside there are people there milling around like at a reception party. It seesm to be for military personnell being deployed to war. I walk in and a lieutenant, a pilot, comes up to me and addresses me as if I am his new commanding officer. I tell him thats interesting as I am not even in the military. He gives me a very strange and confused look, as if I am the one deluded, or I am just joking with him. Its a strange deja vu feeling with this one. There seems to be a latent feeling of familiarity with being whom this lieutenant is taking me to be.
The dreamview shifts again . I am with my wife and we are in a motorboat out on a lake or river on a nice day. The situation seems out of sorts as she is all over me with affection. Caressing me, kissing me etc etc. Totally out of character for her. The more I focus on her doing this the less she does it. The less I focus the more she does it. I turn my focus onto where we are going on the lake. I am driving the boat with my mind. Where I focus on going the boat seems to follow in direction and steering. I get causght up in focusing on where a boat ahead of us is going. It goes into a turn off skirted by cement retaining walls. I panic and need to turn the boat to keep from going in there as there is no way to turn around.
I shift from focusing on where I am going to steering the boat. Doing such I cannot get the boat to turn, slow down, or anything. Gradually I collect myself and my thoughts and focus back on where it is I am wanting to go, the going itself. As I do the boat slowly begins to slow down and turn to follow my minds direction of travel.

Lucid now I have the thought that this needs to be worked on in waking reality. I have this in my mind that this is exactly how the mind brings things into solid reality in waking life. To accomplish what is considered "supernatural feats" in life one must focus on the doingness or beingnes of things around them and not the subject nor objects of that beingness or doingness. The beingnes and doingness will attract the subjects and objects in the course of doing and being. Here the dream ends and I awake.

Driving my car at night. Stopped at a parking lot. ots of people and other cars around. Well lit area. Another car pulls up next to mine. I am out of the car with a friend. The owner of the other car gets out and talks to some people and goes off. Later comes back and slams his door open into my car.
I feel anger. I kick a dent in the trunk lid of his car as he drives away. He stops and gets out as if to fight. He looks at me and something about me sends him off back into his car and he leaves without any words at all.
I lean down to look at the dent in my car and see that the whole side of my new car is already beginning to rust away and deteriorate, almost as if before my very eyes. All my attachment to the car seems to wane and dissolve into nothingness. The dent is completely forgotten, and the matter seems so insignificant now
The Dreamview shifts and I am walking around with Dr Wayne Dyer. The view shifts around as we walk from at home, to work, and other places familiar to my (this) lifes experience. He is asking very brief questions concerning the things popping up in the dreamview relating to "my" life. Mostly he is quiet, though giving a nod of the head and a Mmmmmmm Hmmmm when I answer and point things out. As we walk I am thinking there were a number of questions I had for him, but they seem lost and unimportant, or more so unnecesary. that is the feeling I would say is creeping up on me as we walk and I talk.
Dr. Dyer then turns and sits down on something a little higher than where I am standing. I am looking up at him and I finally say I had things to ask, but I have just realized that there is nothing I need to ask. No answers from another will gain me anything, not one more piece of spiritual scripture, nor the words of one more teacher will get me where i need to be. Everything I need now is already within me. It is within that I need to be and within where I will find what it is I have been seeking all along.

With that he starts to get a big grin on his face and he nods his head in a gesture of affirmation to what I have said.

With that the dream ends

The last few nights have fostered fragmentary bits and pieces of dreams it seems.
In the first I am with some teenagers it seems, moving through a bigger city trying to find clothing, shelter and food. Basic necesities. The dreamview alternates back and forth between this and then being in a housing complex or place with rooms. In that place I am with a friend I havnt seen in a long time. I am just there with her, I dont know why.

The next dream is in like a large public swimming pool. Cement walkways, a clubhouse etc. In the pool are fish and sea life. Different areas of the pool contain different species.
Something is killing the fish, but only certain kinds of fish. They keep floating to the surface as they are killed. There is a monkey with a knife and it seems to be what is diving and swimming and killing these fish. I and one other person there are the only ones that can see this monkey. Loads of other people are there but they all think the two of us are nuts.
The monky cannot be causght . We cannot even see it under the water most of the time, only quick glimpses as we follow the trail of dead fish. The monkey seem to avoid the pools with the octopuss and sharks.

Then there is a dream of being with my wife walking somehwere. There is a tension between her and I as we walk. Its as if the tension, or anxiety from her is counter to the the feelings within me. It seems an agitant, an irritant, trying to create tension in me to match that in her. It seems I am at peace with myself in spite of this. It is a strange dream. There was more, but I dont remember any at the moment.

As with the walk with my wife, I , or my view is following my second son around. He as his mother tend to create tension in those around him. It is as if I am witnessing what is going on and not a part of it. He is being told what he needs to be doing. He is uncoopoerative. He seems full of spite and anger. He says he knows what he is doing despite evidence to the contrary and advice from those around him likewise to the contrary.
At first its about school then home. This is where the dreamview shifts from and to. Then he is going outdoors. There is a battlefield of sorts. He is aware of my presence and speaks to entice me into the tension around him, participating, taking hold of it, being consumed by it. I find myself indifferent, at peace. A detached witness.
He says he can make it across an open field no problem. His mother, family and others in terror watching advising desperately not to do it to do one some other action or another rather than what he is set on doing. He sets out running, zig zagging across the field. Machine guns open up and the bullets follow him, closer and closer as he runs. Then they catch up and he is literally cut to pieces in mid run. His mother, the onlookers, all are distraught, wailing, crying. I am in total and complete indifference witnessing this.

This one starts out where I am with a few friends I used to play role playing games with. Seems one is going to go to a town 3 hours away for an overnight gameing session. He leaves ahead of me in his own car. I end up leaving a little while later in my own car.
It is strange in that there seems to be a precense of a woman with me. This is why I left late as well. A lover. I am talking to her as I drive it seems, though there is no responses from her. It is getting dark as I get near to this town I am going to. I have an awareness that my friend is already there.There is also an awareness that a storm seems to be coming.
When I arrive it is suddenly daylight, and I am no longer in my car. The dreamview has shifted to that of being in an open field on a hillside overlooking a small stream running around the east side and down under the highway to the left. The town is down to the east a mile or two it appears. It starts to rain.
There seems to be, or there is a sense that there are three woman in this dream. The one that was in the car with me, seems vague and distant, as if not really there. Another interesting note is that the three aare as children, in respect to an attitude towards life. I dont know how just to describe it. Its like they are adult women and the men in the dream are adult men, but the mindset is all like children at play.
As it starts to rain there is the second woman driving what appears to be half a school bus. She is driving around all over the place. No order, just ramdomly. I make no sense of what she is doing.
I find myself on a bulldozer or road grader with a blade on the front. I am pushing field debris, dead trees and undergrowth off the hill into a ravine by the stream to the east. As it continues to rain, the waters in the stream are ever rising. As they rise thay start to take the piles of brush and debris away bit by bit. Shortly the waters are raging torrents. They start eating away the hill on the east then the south sides as well. I move quickly to the west and then north along a west fence row. The hill is falling away into the raging waters very rapidly. I jump onto the fence clinging to it, but strangely I am not emotionally disturbed. I watch the machinery I was on fall away into the swiftly moving waters.
Then the half bus arrives again with this second woman still driving. I get in and along with now a third woman it would seem. The dreamview is fuzzy on this. No detail. Its like a presence as with the first woman. The woman driving this bus goes down the hill to the north and onto the highway below. She turns east and towards the town. Its as if sunrise in the morning. We go across the bridge over the raging torrents just as the brige collapses behind us.
The bus begins to slow as we approach the town, though still not there. As it rolls slower and slower I do not notice the second woman anymore, just the outline of the third woman near the front of the bus offf to my right. Here the dream ends.

This one has some interesting ramifacatins. I am once divorced, many years ago now. My current wife is my opposite. I have learned a great deal abot myself living with her. She is like an abrasive, continually sanding away on me. I do not feel close to her, nor balanced with her. My whole life expereince with here is a turbulent as the waters of the river in the dream, yet I would not be that which I am now without having have been with her.
Interesting things in this dream...

I am in a extremely large shopping mall, some of it is enclosed indoors and some is outdoors. Everything imaginable pertaining to physical human life is represented in this place. There are countless crowds of people milling around caught up in shopping and looking.
There is a sense about me that I am there with some purpose. Gradually as the dream progresses this purpose is unveiled. As I am milling around observing the crowd I am aware that there is a storm coming. I somehow know it is no ordinary storm. It is a storm that is spritual in nature which also alters the physical reality in some undefined way I am not yet aware of.
As the dream progresses I notice others, very few, among the crowds who seem to become aware of this storm coming. They seem to drop what they are doing and go outside to a place on one side of the mall area.

I step outside and see several large limosines waiting. They are similar to those used to carry the family at funerals. They are a deep blue color as in the blue seen in the oceans from space. The drivers look like the agents from the movie the matrix, suits and sunglasses.The suits are the same blue color as the cars, and white shirts with blue ties
I seem to be directing the people leaving into the cars and trying to hurry them along. The cars and drivers seem to be working for me, or at my direction.
I look up and see the storm coming swiftly. There is a great wind and behind it a huge tornado. This tornado is pulling a blackened darkness out of the earth in front of it. It rises out of the ground like huge plumes, sheets, and swifts of smoke, but there are no flames. These plumes, sheets, and swifts of blackness swirl into the tonado turning it jet black as it moves over the ground. As it pulls the blackness up out of the earth, the whole sky is turned black in front of the storms procession. The darkness enters the tonado around the top where it meets the sky, which is now black. Everything on the ground is being pulled in at the bottom of the cone. There is daylight around the sides of the twister framing it like a picture against the darkness around it and going into it.

Behind the tornado, seen beyond theopening of daylight on each side, the earth is as if it has been bleached white, the image is like a desert. Nothing but white across the whole view. No buildings, roads, trees, green life, nothing. Just white landscape.

I turn and seem to have the drivers ready to leave once the last person coming gets in/on the cars. I scan the crowds. There are only a couple more running forward. Everyone else is totally oblivious to the storm and those running to the cars to leave. Its like none of this is happening around them at all.

I look back and the storm is upon us . I tell the drivers to go. I stay one more moment to see no one else coming. The last person there jumps up on the moving car infront of me which is so full that he has to cling to the hood and windshield. About to miss the ride, I yell at the agant dribving to pop open the trunk, which he does. I manage to get both hands locked onto the inside edge of the trunk lid as the car starts speeding away. I am half jumping half being dragged as I finally get one leg into the trunk. Strangely I am completely calm through all this. I get a second to look around and see the darkness touching upon us as we are getting away.

What s interesting is that all the cars take and actually turn into the storm wall and drive through it, or rather into it . Describing this would be like taking a line and instead of crossing the line they drove inyo it lengthwise, becoming part of it it would appear. I have this knowing that being in/on these cars protects us from being altered in some way by the storm. As we pass into the storm wall I wake up. This leaves me with questions as to what sort of changes were prevented from happening to us. I also remember seeing the mall being enveloped in the darkness but did not get to see the results at all of what happened to it or the people around/in it.

This dream seems to move rapidly. Hard to remember accurately, so heres the best I can do.
Inside a structure. three floors and many many rooms and wide open areas. Seems I am outdoors and also on the ground floor connected to the outdoors. Each room and outdoor setting seems to contain parts of my life, this bodies existant experience. There is where i work, where i have worked before, home now home before, bits and pieces of this and that. It seems that in one part it is raining and there are pools of water on the ground. Maybe a pond or lake. I cant really remember.Everything is distorted it seems. I go to these rooms and seem to watch things happen. I take part in the distorted situations. remember. None of it seems real. I feel as though I need to wake up from a dream. This seems a dream, yet I am not what I would call lucid. I feel I wake up, but into another dream.

I am on the second floor of another structure. There are people there i seem to know from my daily life. Everything here is in current time it would appear. Work, home, things that are done everyday.
After a while of going around room to room, everything centers on A open area with what seems like dept store merchandise shelves with firewood on them. The supply is quickly dwindling. I go around a corner to get more from outside the area. There is more there, but not much. It would seem there is only enough for another day to burn and keep the fire going. I try to get others to help find or move firewood, but no one seems to want to help. Again I feel this is unreal. I feel a need to wake up , but am not really lucid.
I wake up, but into another dream.
I am on the third floor of a structure. I feel as if this floor is way high up in the air. Inside it is as if there are rows of airplane seats with people in them. There are three children running about. There is a man there that calls the children to the seats behind me. The man is looking at me and talking to them. He tells the children that they must forget what they think is real. If they jump out the door( which seems to appear off to the left, they will be given three keys when they get outside of "here". I see the keys as he lets them dangle from his wrist on a chain. Each key has something shiny attached to it with another chain.
It is so strange, because as he is looking at me and talking, I am experiencing jumping out the door with these kids. No fear. Outside the door there seems to be only light. Nothing else, but I also feel a sense that within that light is more than I can imagine.
I wake up. This time I am in my bed with my eyes open I find myself with tears in my eyes writing this. An incredible sensation running from the base of my spine through the top of my head. I am deeply moved in some way

I have been mulling over this dream from last night all day....

Nothing in this dream seems real clear and it seems fast paced. I am in a place where there is a building to the left of me. it is an open ended building with what looks like a metal roof. Inside the building is some machinery of some sorts. There are people in there working with it.

Out side in front of me is something. At first it appears to be barrels, 4 standing on end on a platform. They seem shorter than a normal 55 gallon barrel, but they also seem half buried in the ground, or covered with a thick layer of dirt. Up closer there looks like connections of sorts betweeen each barrel. I get the notion that this is a machine of some kind that has been long forgotten by all the people around. The scene is very vague of detail.

I start brushing the dirt of from this supposed machine. No one seems to care or even notices what I am doing. They are all seemingly occupied and consumed with the machinery they are using. They are laughing and carrying on. An occasional fight breaks out. Its almost like they are gambling or something, playing games of sorts with their machinery over there.

I start looking around for a pressure washer to wash the machine off I am looking over. I find one and a water connection and hose. Someone from the crowd over by the building ses me with the washer and tells me to go over and wash something off for them over by their building. I do so, as it seems I am some sort of servant to them. I finish and go back and get set up to wash the machine off I am interested in.

A few onlookers see me and what I am doing and they laugh telling me that hasnt run in generations, its junk, I am wasting my time. But, they dont stop me.

As I begin to wash this off there seems to me a certain familiarity with it, but its not defined. The more I wash, the more I feel some connection to this machine. A few people start to take interest and walk over to watch. As I finsh washing I reach down and begin to reach out to this machine, then instantly at the moment I touch it the dreamview shifts radically.
I lose my vision for a few moments to where all I see is white light in 3/4 of the dreamview. The lower right corner is like a earthen roadway. Up from there is a earthen ridge and what seems a body of water behind that and blue sky above. The rest of the view to the left is white and empty.

I can still hear the people that were standing around and feel their presence. I hear one say that someone had just died in the background. In that moment, on the roadway in front of me is what I take as this person dead body. As the view begins to focus, it seems to be a likeness of a body made from clay. As the view further focuses and more detail arises it has the appearance of what looks like a brain and nerves without any body to go with it, all still made of earthen clay.
Now at this same moment all through this I have some strange intuitive thoughts arising. Its like all of this imagery represents patterns and pathways of energy as they move in and around the body through their channels.

Looking at the brain in clay of this supposed dead person I see that to the back , in the lower central area of the brain part, there is a place that is arching like an electrical short. I have another intuitive thought that this is the place where the connection has been broken causing the death of that person.

I look up as I hear some one say to me something to the effect of " surely you dont think you can do anything for him do you?"

Ignoring the comment as if I am in a deep meditative state of concentration, I see that this person talking looks just like this dead clay representation in front of my I am kneeling over and toying with, only this one is animated and active just like a living body.

I start with another intuitive thought, its to where i am talking to myself. I am saying to myself, and reallly have the feeling, that I used to know how to do this, but its been a while and I seem to have forgotten. The more I dwell on it the more I feel the knowledge coming back. As I reach out to the dead representation in front of me with the thought of restablishing its connection I have this very strong feeling of being on the virge of a moment of total recall of some significance . In that split second I awake and the dream ends.

Last night I framed a thought in my mind before I went to sleep. What I frames was "Show me this aspect of myself, this Self that seems so elusive.Give me an understanding of this aspect."
This is much deeper than these words reflect, but I am not going to get into it here now.

I have spent all day trying to recall more of the dream I had. Here is what I remember.

There is much detail in the early part of the dream I do not recall with any clarity. I am at the bottom of a hill. Seems on the south side with the top to the north . The sun is setting in the west and I am headed into the early night to the east around the base of the hill. Based on my driveway here, I would say the hill is around 600'-800' tall.
Seems I am following someone, actually it feels like "we" are following someone, or something. I dont know who "we" is though. I think there was flying, buildings and images of riding in machines or something, a mixture of events, but I just dont recall any of it.

Anyhow, "we" end up at the top of the hill. This I do remember. Coming up to the top there is a large structure made of white stone. There were two columns on each side of a entryway, or gateway. More I think on either side along a wall. Its like this structure was hewn out of the hill itself, not a freestanding structure sitting atop it.
Outside leading up to the gateway and all around the hill was activity of one kind or another. Constant motion of things., persons, etc etc. Nothing really distinct, just a blurr of misc motion.

I look to the gate as "we" appraoch and its like my view is drawn through the gate in that instant. The dreamview shifts to another setting. In this setting all the blurr of motion is gone. It is much more peaceful and serene. I remember being , or going down a stone hallway. The stone in this construction is all seemingly white stone like one would seee in structures of ancient Greece and Rome. As the dream progresses its like the stone is not as bright a white the more I continue. Its as iff it is dirty, in need of being cleaned off.
The hallway exits into a courtyard of sorts. to the left there is trees and bushes growing wilds and thick, almost like brush. There is no walking through it, seemingly impassible on foot. On the far left there is a wall running to the right. I have a sense of direction here, in that this wall is north , the hallway I came from is east. There is another wall to the far west. To the right or south, there is a narrow walkway running along a fourth wall down some steps and under what looks like a aquaduct.
I am drawn down the pathway and the steps. On the other side of the aquaduct, there is a small open are about 12'x12' or so. There is a doorway to the right in the south east corner where those two walls meet. To my right(north) there is a stone wall dividing the courtyard. It only runs to just east of the aquaduct and stops. At the end of the wall there is a set of train type tracks sitting up on supports about 3' off the ground. They lead to the north through a opening in the wall, an opening like a mine tunnel. Seems like there are more of these to the west, but they are covered with brush and vegetation. This one that is visible has what looks like a mine cart sitting on it.
At this point I lose the ambiguouse sense of "we" as aperson suddenly runs past me , or out from me, Hard to say. Its like this person is part of me, connected in some way outside this place, but in here is percieved as seprate to a point. It is a male, and I got a glimpse of him, but not a detailed glimpse. Off hand I had the notion he looked like me, but couldnt really tell.
He jumpred in the mine cart and was trying to escape. I felt the urgency to try and stop him. I felt there were answers to be gained from him. I jumped quickly to base of the cart at the tracks and wedged something in the wheels or something like that to stop the cart. I then jumped up to the side of the cart only to see this person running over the top of all the brush like it wasnt even there, or like it was just flat ground., and he was gone through a opening in the north west corner where I think 4 columns stood.

Next I find the view shifting and I am in the doorway at the south east corner. I go down a long hallway. At the halfway point in the hall there was a kitchen area set in the east wall. It was a mess. Odds & ends piled on all the counters, dirty dishes, everything out of place. I ran my hand across something and got grime and dirt all over it. I found myself getting filled with anxiety and anger to where I percieved a need to leave before I took action on those feelings.

Reaching the other end of the hallway The roof disappeared and the hall opened up into an outdside area. There was a high wall running west. The sun was rising in the east at this time.
I percieved the man running away from me again. He ran past or out from me again up the wall and to the west on top of it jumping back down after a ways and on westward. I looked up on the wall and there was Sylvester Stallone of all people walking down the wall to the west. I yelled up at him and said, "Hey Stallone!, hurry up and catch that guy. He immediately took off after him, but As near as I could tell didnt catch up with him.
The view shifted bac to being in the hallway. This time I was moving north in the hall past the kitchen area almost to the door I came into it from the courtyard. On the west wall there are several doors standing open. Windows can be seen inside the rooms on their west walls. Outside is thelight of day and what appeared to be a normal bust city street with cars going by and people walking going about their normal daily routines.
I goin in the last door on this wall and inside to the west wall I stand with my back to the window facing what looks like a washing machine. This is no ordinary clothes washer, the machine is sky blue in color.
On the control panel to the right where the dial would normally be there was a large compass set into the panel. It appeared to be stuck in mid tuirn not really pointing to anything. I think the "N" was prominently visible in a slightly tilted position. I remember thinking that this was so odd.
Even more odd was when I looked down at the top where the door would usually be there was a sink. The water was already running. I put my hand under it and began to wash the dirt and grime off. I noticed that the drain closed when I put my hand under the water and the sink began to fill as I washed. Before I could get my hand cleaned the sink was about to overflow onto the floor. I noticed a button on top of the spicket and pushed on it with my left hand. It was my right hand that was dirty. As I pushed the button, the drain would open and start letting water out. The only thing was that I had to keep pushing the button to hold the drain open. The water would never shut off. I was at a loss as to what to do. I tried to wash my hand by itself without the other, but it woulnt come clean. I really wanted to wash my hand off but couldnt because I needed the other hand to do it, but I had to keep exerting pressure with my other hand to hold the button down. so the water wouldnt overflow. Its at this point that I woke up.

There is some notes to be made here. My existant psyche is of a moderate neat freak type of mentality. I do get stressed when things seem overly out of place. I am of the growing opinion this needs transcended somehow. My initial thought framed prior to this dream does in fact tie into searching for the means for such a transcendence.
As to the end of this dream I now look at it and think , what if I just pulled both hands ot of the sink? Perhaps the drain would have remained open without any effort?.. and I could have been free to wash my hand which was now wet.
This may well tie into looking for this aspect of myself, this elusive Self. Perhaps if I quit looking and just relax without effort? Perhaps then it will find me, or arise to or within me - who is now aware of its being? Hmmmmmmmmm, this bears more in depth consideration

Before sleeping I continued with the framing of a similar question as was done he night before. This time I framed it more to the tune of Show me the nature of the elusive Self I am observing.

The dream starts out where I am merely a dismembodied view( disembodied senses all rolled up into one), witnessing all that is occurring. I am again direction oriented in this dream. I am facing west with north to my right, south to my left and east to my back.
Moving backwards to the east, low over rolling sand dunes of what seems an endless desert barren of green living things. Its as if night, the stars in the sky are as if they are within me, part of me as I look up at them. I can "feel" their presence within me. The light cast upon this desert from the night stars is so bright its as if daylight out but as if severly diffused under cover of heavy clouds. Though there are no clouds in sight.
It seems there are people walking through this desert fleeing from something. They are dressed in heavy robes to protect them from blowing sand and wind. Many are children. I turn left and there is a man riding a giant lizard like creature the size of an elephant. He seems to be scouting the way ahead to the east.
I see a child has found something in the sand. It is a samll black box with a dial on one side. In a circle around this dial are a number of symbols. Then I hear as if someone talking that it is a activator for something left behind by ancient peoples. It must be left alone as the meaning of the symbols is long forgotten and that some of those could be dangerous and deadly if activated. The child drops it in the sand and the people move on. My view is still focused on this box. There is a feeling present that those pursuing these people are using some aspect of this box in the way of violence as a weapon . Somehow it is tied to them, the pursuers, and then in as much to the plight of these refugees.

The view shifts to the right or north. As it does it is inside a structure. Momentarily there is the feeling that this is a ship carrying these people through space and time. There are many bodies covered with white sheets lying in bunks both along the walls and up high in alcoves around a catwalk on a level above. There are also the living mixed in among these bodies taking refuge in this structure on this journey.
There is a feeling that the bodies are not truly dead, but in a death like state. They are saved for a later time when they will be revived when the war and suffering ends.
There are people coming and some are directing others to some action. The dreamview shifts and I am witness to a large complex. It is seemingly circular. Very large. There are high walls all around that make up the outer circle. Everything that is going on is going on inside this circle. There is nothing outside of it and no one seems to come or go in or out of it. Both the enemy and the people fleeing are here. The Pursuers are on one side(west) and the refugees on the other(east). Fighting does not start till those on the east begin to fire on those to the west. There are machine guns in sandbagged gun emplacemets. Boxes of grenades and such. The refugees open up and fire on their pursuers. I do not see anything happening to the pursuers, but I dont really even see the pursuers themselves. All I witness is identical fire returning upon the refugees that author it. The refugees that open fire get slaughtered almost immediately. Its like they are shooting out and then the fire comes back at themselves it seems. When the refugees guns go silent there is no response from the pursuers the carnage ends. The pursuers onlyseem to fire when fired upon.
The view shifts slightly and I am seeing a child climbing up into a machine gun emplacement. It looks as if he is going to start shooting. I find my mind filled with a thought of No! Violence is not the way! Realize that You are as they are. What you author goes out and is returned to you. There is no "They", only you. You will be fighting only yourself. This is the essence of the thought that arises, really less the words and more to the feeling.
This child actually unloads the gun and hides the ammunition, which for some reason suprises me. The child then moves away and climbs up over the wall as others seemingly begin to follow him abandoning all the weapons of this place.
It starts raining. It feels refreshing, like the kind of refreshing feeling of clean air and warm sun on a spring day after it rains hard. I look down into the pool of water below me on the ground. When I look up I see the dreamview has shifted. There are people milling around. I am in the driveway of an apparent shopping mall. It is like a spring day as I just mentioned. There are pothole in the roadway into this place, but as I look around I see that this is a new structure that is still unfinished and presently under construction. Apparently I am embodied now in some way as others are greeting me as I move about. It seems I am walking with someone, but that someone is undefined and not visible to me, but it is as a "presence" to me.
I am being shown around this place by the persons there. They are showing me their new businesses. All the businesses, of which there are only a few up and running, are dealing with lifes necesities. Nothing extravagant or unnecesary is being sold here. Peoples minds seem to be unfettered by such things here.
I see some people I know. One is a hair dresser I went to school with years ago. She has just started a hair cutting shop here and is overseeing several persons in her employ. Near her shop is a half circular hallway on the inside of this mall. Inside this hallway there are no windows to the outside save for one windowed door to the west. Through it one can see green grass and trees, but there are no walkways leading to or away from the door. No one seems to go to or through this door. I cant make out the details in the hallway. Its alsmost as if there are control panels lining the west wall in here. Each panel divided by a short dividing half wall. The panels seem to be covered or concealed.
Going back outside to the east one sees that this mall is not an indoor mall, but a outdoor mall, The buildings are connected north to south, but the entrances are all on the east side to the parking lots there. It seems all stores with windows to the west save for the stores with that one hallway behnd them.
I am led to an empty store still under construction. There is a couple of people with me now and they are telling me I should open a store in this building. Thoughts race through me as to what that would possibly be. I have thoughts of selling machine parts like I used to in Ebay, but It just doesnt seem right, unecesary. They say yes yes, but I say no. I have subtle thoughts that there is nothing here that is needed, nothing here that I need to do.
As these thoughts come and go I look out the windows and door to the west. I see green trees and grass, There are now people seen milling around out side there in this view, They appear totally unaware of this structures existance. I feel powerfully drawn to these people and this world to the west. Not for that I want anything there, but that it is there I am needed in some way, that there is the existance of need itself there. i feel a sense of compassion, not for one or another, but the whole. I have this feeling inside my mind that there is a need for teaching, I see myself as a teacher, then as if being a well filled with water that these people would drink from. It is strabge becaise I am not seeing myself as a embodied person, but rather as a presence of sorts. Its strange in that the context of the thought is as though I am seeing myself as the act of teaching or the act of water being poured itself. Difficult to describe how the feelings are transcending the words and images.
I find myself , this view, being drawn to go through the doorway to the west. As I do, the dreamview shifts. I am driving a car or at least my view itself is following a schoolbus west along a paved road. It follows it down a big hill where I see two other schoolbuses ahead of this one. All the buses disappear to a turn to the right(north) into a residential area of sorts.
It is strange as while continuing down this hill its as if I am lost in a daydream inside this dream. The details I have difficulty remembering but the daydream is of having a family. I am in a body in this daydream and have a wife and kids. There seems to be a familiarity, sometimes as though they are recognized as my wife and kids now and other moments as if they are totally other physical people still carrying this same recognizion though. Off hand it was almost as if i were looking back along a line of people and places all relating to "my" families, my wives, and my Children, like I was seeing past lives or something. This view shifts right up to where I am now in this dream following the bus. Its almost as if present moment were swirling with what is just ahead. Damn strange .
I break from this daydream and arrive at the turn the buses took I stop there and meet what I take to be a child of mine. We are looking for a place to live. Seems money is difficult to get and places to live are almost non existant. There is a ladder to the left and his mother has procured a place here on the corner of the street. It is a loft on the second floor of this house. You have to climb the ladder to reach a staoirway going up to a apt in the attic of this structure. I have this notion that there are 4-5 of us that will be living there. I seem to feel disatisfaction, discontentment, and a swift of anger rising inside. I feel the need to let go of this and be free of it in some way while still living in the existant situation. Here I wake up.

Again, I am still framing the same thoughts in mind prior to sleeping as the last two nights.

It seems this dream is set in the small town near where I live, where I used to live just a few years ago, same town where I work. Some of the settings seem to incorporate components of the house where I grew up. Also there are scenes where there are structures and layouts I am not readlily familiar with.
Coming upon the town from the north moving south, I find people milling around among residential structures. I look to the east and see an apparent business district. Somehow , through overhearing others talking about war the dreamview begins to incorporate persons walking around with weapons. This in turn begins the view incorporating military themes. Its as if the talk is creating the thoughts which in turn are creating the images and the reality present in the dream.
Whats interesting is how I am at first subtly aware enough to pick up on this, as if some aspect of me were just watching myself experiencing all this from a distanced vantage point. Soon I lose this awareness and my view falls into simply believing the so so reality of what is happening. At that point I find myself feeling the need to participate in defending the town from a percieved enemy. I am in charge of several soldiers and setting up a a defensive line on the northwest part of the town. I sit in nervous anticipation of a perceived imminant attack, which does not come. Instead more soldiers arrive as if having just been in battle. I am looking for their commander to coordinate a defense. They seem disorganized. My men go off with these taking over the defensive line.
I notice I do not have a gun. I go into the business district where they have told me the command post is. I am looking to aquire a pistol. I walk all over the are through crowds of people and never seem to locate anyone who can get me a pistol. I find myself depending on others for what I need and nothing ever happens. It is as if my own seeing myself as being dependant is what is preventing me from realizing the aquisition of a pistol. As I have this subtle realization, I am beginning to doubt in the whole dreamview of the war and fighting. As I doubt more and more of the military components of the dream begin to just vanish. I find myself with others pursuing enemies that just are not there to me. These others are gung ho and act is if what they are folowing is real and there, but I never see it.
I am moving west through town , through residential areas. The farther west we move the less militaristic the dream view gets. Soon even the ones I am following dissappear. The sky in the dream has been dark and overcast from the beginning of the dream, but now it is cleared off and the sun is bright and shining. I am at the southwestern part of the town next to the fence looking out across the open fields to the west as the sun is setting. there is this inner feeling of peace and tranquility in me.

I turn back east and I see that darkness is falling across the view. More and overcast sky as before rather than darkness. There is some deadwood and brush here in the lot behind me and I am trying to move it. I mentally frame the thought I need a loader tractor, and one appears to my left in a lean -to building.
Its like the one I use at work. This notion seems to shift the dreamview to where I work. Now I find myself split into two aspects. One involved in what is going on in the dream picture and the other set back observing all that is occurring from a detached perspective. By detached I mean not needing anything, not being attached /attracted to anything in particular or wanting anything, but from a standpoint of being connected to/with everything. I am experiencing both views at once, suprisingly without difficulty of conflict. In fact it is as if as such the involved viewpoint is better able to work with what is happening without getting caught up in or distracted by it emotionally or mentally. this is a really unique experience, though the feeling is as if it is completely natural.
The tractor begins acting up (as it really has for a few weeks) and my father comes out ( whom I work for) in his usual negative mood and/or mindset. He is raising his voice about cost and so on and so on (as he usually does). What is interesting here is that I am not caught up in this like I usaully get in waking life. I start to be, but it quickly stops. In fact what happens is that through this double perspective I am seeing that I started to, and have been getting caught up in his experience, that which he is framing up in his mind. Its at this point that my dreamview begins to shift away from this work setting, leaving me with a feeling of freedom of sorts. I awake at this point.



This dream has left me with some interesting things to explore/experiment on within the mind, and perception

I am apparently in a building with other people. They are wearing clothes in the style of the 1880's western United States. There are windows all around this building, but when I look out its like my seeing has transcended the building and I am seeing from above the building.
There is green grass and trees around the area. Fences, livestock. There are moe buildingsc across railroad tracks to the west. I began the dream facing north. This train follows the tracks heading north then loops around to the sout and along the east side of the building I am in or around. It appears to be a train station.

From back in the building my view follows some people out on to the rampway towards the train that just arrived. When we get out there there is no train, no tracks and the scenery has changed. It is now overcast. There are no green trees nor grass. All there is is sand and dead folage here and there. There are houses scatterd far apart in the dream scape. Looking out from under the station roof the wind is blowing sand in the air. the whole environment seems harsh and foreboding.
Seems there are persons lin two groups. One to the east and one to the west. I recognize John Wayne in the group to the west. I am facing north through all this.

Seems as some conflict arises and shooting starts between the two groups. I look down and see I have a body now and have a gun. It is not loaded, but I have the ammunition in my hand. I find myself moving backwards to the south away fron the fighting. Some the group to the west is ahead of me to the north moving back towards me. Most are all still carrying on the conflict up at the building which is now off in the distance. I see there are persons from the eastern group making their way closer to the north and east of this view point. John Wayne is telling me to load up and shoot or something like that. I start to, but then hesitate.
I examine my feelings and find no anxiety. Upon finding that, I recognize a lack of need to do anything. I have a feeling of not needing to be here, nor a need to participate. In this the dream view ends and shifts.

When the dreamview resumes I find myself in a building. going into a large room. There are persons in there milling around as if at a get together of some kind. Almost has a family atmosphere, though I recognize none of them present.
The room turns into a very large bathroom. Still a number of people are in there using the sinks, cleaning up and getting dressed as if to leave to go places. I go up onto a semi enclosed landing and stand in front of a shower /tub. There is a wall there that is about neck high. I am getting undresed there to take a shower. It is strange in that I have no anxiety about anyone else being in the room to watch. Its as if they are not really there or cannot see me.
One person down on the main floor does see me. A younger blonde woman says something to me laughing. Its as if she is poking fun at me for some reason. I say something in a joking manner to her and invite her to take a shower with me. She laughs it off as she seems uninterested, in that, or me for that matter. However she does come up to the shower. I am with my back to her and tell her to follow me in as I lift the shower curtain I feel her presence close behind me. She says something seemingly unkind and hurtful while laughing, but it rolls off me without me taking it in. I turn and see she has her clothes still on, unintending to get in with me.
Though totally detached from this person and not wanting anything from her, I look her in the eyes, with some deep seated love and compassion and tell her something. I dont know what it was I said, but it was loving and kind, it is as if I knew she has not heard such from anyone in a long time.
I kiss here gently but quickly on the lips and step into the shower.
I see her face as I back away and see that she is deeply moved in soime way, almost shocked in a way. Like she is in a deep contemplation. I see a tear in her eye.
As i am showering she is down on the lower level getting ready to leave. She begins talking to me. She says she wants me to call her later that night after she get done playing a part in a play she has to go to now. She seems visibly shaken for some reason, almost as if confused by her own inner feelings and thoughts. Its as if I am empathically feeling this.
She leaves. Now the dream is interesting in that my view or perception is split into two, much like the dream written of the other day. One part is continuing with me as the male going on about its business and the other as if witnessing this female going about hers. Its as if I am aware of both at the same time.
The view following the woman sees her at the beginning of her play. Still empathically connected she is feeling unsure about her part in the play. Its as if she has disconnected with it. As if she no longer remebers her part or her lines. She is feeling as if it were unimportant. I find myself emapthically pushing here to continue and help her to remeber her part as it seems something she needs to continue for the time being.

In my own view, I am going around town in a vehicle it seems. The view shifts to being in a large parking garage of sorts with a few large semi trucks in it. I see a driver I know and get i his truck with him. The truck is parked in tight among two others. It seems s if there is not enough room to get out of the building, but amazingly he gets the truck out. I feel and see in my minds eye the woman coming looking for me. I feel the need to meet with her. As the is a sense of the two views coming together as one I awake from the dream.



This dream is interesting in that the view is from both perspectives in ways . Perspectives of being what I would identify as the Buddha mind( represented by "me" in the latter part of this dream) and the other as being the embodied mind( represented by "me" in the first part, and the woman in the latter part of the dream). At least this is how I am going to put it at this moment. Normally the perspective is from the embodied mind. The merging of the two views is significant, to me anyhow.

Whats more interesting yet, is yesterday while meditating on this dream I found myself relaxed into a state where I actually experienced this state of connection between those aspects of the mind, or aspects of being. I can hardly put it into adequate word. It was as an ego-less state while retaining a sort of "continuity" of the individual embodied experience, seeing and experiencing everything in view, in mind, as ones self. A connection to everything. It seemed as if this connection was relavant to the state of emptiness of the mind, that relaxing I mentioned. I feel led to meditatively examine this state of emptiness.

Prior to sleeping, I had framed the thought of "show me the connection to the empty state, the element of space. Show me what I need to know". I find myself looking for something that I realy do not know forsure what it is I am looking for. Intuition tells me what I seek is as his Holiness the Dahli Lama says, " The middle way. In this case its the middle way between the absolutes of physical conscious existance and the non physical intrinsic awareness as decribed towards the end of the dream description.


It seems at the beginning of this dream there were things that happened that I do not now remember that brought me to the basement of a church. It was as if it was the church that I grew up going to as a child. I found myself sittting at a table in the sunday school area of the basement. A large rectangular room with black steel supports between the floor and cieling in about 6 locations in the room. There are a number of folding tables , rectangular in shape set up with chairs around them. I am at the south eastern part of the room sitting at the south western part of a table facing north. I see my father walking around in the room. It doesnt seem like there is anyone else in here. From seeing the windows, it appears as if it is daylight outside.

I look down and find myself working on a machine of sorts attached to the west end of the table. At first it has the appearances of a pencil sharpener like you used to see in all the public schools. However this is no pencil sharpener, as I remember it in the dream. It seems I am taking the front part of it apart. I seem to know exactly what I am doing. Its like my mind is in a state of emptiness and all that I am doing is arising out of that state of emptiness. Its like the knowledge is arising directly to action without the slightest thought of it being done arising in any way. I sit as if just watching myself work on this. I am carefully using a very small screwdriver to stick in two slots to press two tabs inward. When they go in they unlock the front cover of this machine. It seems like delicate work. I remove the cover. It seems that I change something around inside and when I start to replace the cover it is different somehow. There is what seems to be a fuse holder incorprated into it now. I see myself installing a fuse as I reassemble it.

As I am getting it finshed up , just prior to putting the last of it together my father says it is time to go upstairs. I follow him up the stairs to the north east end of the room. that run up the north end of the
building to a foyer area and then into the worship area of the church. Going up to the front below the altar area I hear him say the place needs starightened up before the next group of worshipers comes in. I find myself picking up trash, bits of paper and stuff under the seating benches. Then I find myself picking up books that are laying around on the floor and putting them in empty slots in the book shelves behind and to the ends of the benches. As I picking them up I see that what I am handling is coloring books, as in childrens coloring books. After while, these seem to turn into three ring binders of technical papers and instructions. I then hear and see my mother seated in front of me telling me to put them away in order so she knows where to find them later.

People seem to be about to arive and I feel a need to leave. I go back down the stairs and upon reaching the bottom I find myself in a seemingly totally different building. It appears as the basement of my parrents home, but way different than what I know it to be. I have the feeling that this is my home, no one elses. The lights are already on and it is dark outside. There is an extremely large bed in the east end of the room with the foot of the bed to the west. It has white sheets and a white comforter on it. The stairs are to the north wall at the east end of the room next to this bed. I walk over to the south side of the bed and seem to be facing the south wall. I am thinking something to myself and begin to have an experience I am well used to. Its as if I begin to see bright white light and feel as if I am being pulled from my body. This experience is different from the many previous experiences I have had like this. The difference is that the while light is shimmering with rainbow colors. The feeling is as usual, with a feeling of energy being built of and trying to exit through the upper part of my head. I seem to be trying to resist it, to get a grasp on it, to control it in some way. The experience subsides and I move to the bed and lay down. I dont see my dog, but I literally feel the presence of my dog enter the room.

I seem to drift off to sleep. The experince returns with double the intensity. It is as if I have awakened. The same feeling of energy building up in the upper part of my head and trying to exit is there as is the shimmering rainbow colors in with the white light. I open my eyes and see the room around me at the same time I am seing the white light and rainbow colors. The lights are out save for a light coming from up the stair way. Suddenly I find myself being jerked around in the bed as if some great force is turning my body for me. I am shifted abruptly in the bed from a laying flat position facing west to facing north, flat on my back , with my legs in the air as if I am seated in a chair. In this momemt I become keenly aware that the build up of energy has shifted from being centered in the area of my head to being centered in the are of my belly button, maybe just a little higher. Instead of the energy being drawn upwards from the lower parts of my body into my head as before, it feels as if the energy is now being draw from all parts of my body to this lower central area of the torso. It as if the dreamview is centering itself in that area as well. I am seeing my body in the middle of this white light and shimmering rainbow colors. I fnd myself resisting what is happening. Then suddenly the whole experience ceases.

I immediately stand up and look around the basement. I look up the satirs feeling a precence up there. As I reach the landing above I see that this is much like my parrents house again, but way different. The layout is much the same but all the details are radically different. I turn and see my dead grandmother sitting in the north chair at the table in the dining room adjacent to the kitchen. I have this uncanny feeling , this lucid knowledge that I know she is dead, that this is a dream, and even more strange that so does she. She smiles at me and waves her fingers at me. ( this is typical to her character in life) I lucidly know her presence here is significant and not random.. She moves to a second table in the kitchen sitting again in the north chair. I sit opposite her in the south chair and begin to explain what happened to me downstairs and these experiences I have been having for a long time. She looks at me and says "eeegods kid, cant you control it?" ( totally in character for her). She says it in a manner that suggests she is suprised not at that there isnt a way, but in that I have not already found that way. She then smiles at me and looks to the right, my right ( east).

I look over and standing there is a woman whom I went to school with years ago. She looks the same as I remember. I wasnt particulary atracted to her in any way back then, but I feel very deeply drawn to her here, now. Its as if I am seeing through the physical preferences of appearance and am looking at the essence of her as a woman, being my opposite as me being male. My grandmother says to me "tell her, go on, tell her". I walk up to here and start to stammer and stutter like I am aprehesive that she will reject me after she hears. I start telling her that I have these experinces where I am "visited by God". At least this is how I witness myself putting it.. At first she had a unreassuring look on her face like she was unsure of what she was getting into before I started talking. After I said that here eyes got a little wide, and I began to think she was going to laugh at me and just leave, but she just stood there, looking into my eyes.

In that moment I felt the White light / rainbow color experience coming on again. It started in the area of my head and as it did I felt myself being pulled back hard against the wall behind me to the south of the table my grandmother was seated at. It was almost as if I had been literally picked up and slammed against the wall with my back to the wall. Immediately thereafter I felt the energy shifting inside me from being centered in my head to moving again down towards my lower mid torso. As it started to move downward , it was as if I ( my view or seeing)were ripped from my body and spun upward and slammed upside down against the wall above my body . I was percieving this initially as if I were a negative image of my body( like a photographic negative) hinged at the head. The head of my Seeing was overlapped at the head of the(my) body. The negative ("seeing" body) stretched upward with feet towards the cieling, while the physical body streched downward with feet to the floor. Both pinned with backs to the wall.

In the next instant this negative, the seeing part of me was ripped from the wall and pulled to the north, upward and away from the room but turned to face the room itself. I felt almost panicky in that I was going to lose my ground to the physical body and be lost to it, and as I moved farther away, the notion of "I" totally vanished. As I reached the upper north part of the room almost as if being on the virge of leaving the house it was as if this view were pinned again to a immaterial wall of some sorts preventing me from moviong away any farther. There "I" just sat and witnessed the scene. I saw my grandmother, the woman , my physical
body, the room, the house, and all that was there. I say "I", now in describing this scene and experience, but in the dream there was no notion of "I". I know this experience as I have has it a number of times. It is that which is described as per the wikipedia description on Dzogchen:

" Our ultimate nature is said to be pure, all-encompassing, primordial awareness. This 'intrinsic awareness' has no form of its own and yet is capable of perceiving, experiencing, reflecting, or expressing all form. It does so without being affected by those forms in any ultimate, permanent way."

This is what I was experiencing here at this point in the dream. Something, as I said, I have experienced or "tasted" before..
At this point the dream ends and I awake. I also note that when I went to sleep my dog was not in the room. When I awoke the dog was on the floor sleeping next to my bed.

Some notes:

The pencil sharpener like machine part is interesting to me. It brings back thoughts of teachings having to do with the unenlightened human mind/body being unable to accomodate the immensity of power associated with some aspects of spiritual realization. This part of the dream suggests that the mind/body is altered or re-arranged in some manner to allow for the power to come through in a regulated manner that will not destroy it. IE the installation of the fuse in the dream.

I see my grandmother in this dream as representative of the Dzogchen teaching or master/teacher. I even appraoched and talked with her as if she were such without any hesitation. the whole dream is as such really. Master, student and teaching are all one. Incedentally my grandmother was a teacher in life for about 40 years.

The woman in this dream is much the same representation as the blonde in the previous dream, though in this dream there is much more depth to the teachings here. It is not to focus on the image of this person, but on my feelings associated with my way of seeing this particular person as I used to.
What is noticed here is how there are three ways to see people. One being aversion towards them in one way or another, second being attraction in one way or another. The middle way is seing them as they are and being in complete peace with them just as they are. Personal preferences do not come into play. This I feel bears close scrutiny when looking into ones own self in the way I am. This is valuable in many ways, and touches me much deper than this desription would indicate.

This representation also goes into the depths of male and female, union, conception , and birth. All representative of what is going to "spritually" occur in some way upon letting go to this light and shimmering rainbow colors. There is so much here to consider. So much is being subtly said...

I must say, having three instances of what is described above in one sitting is unusual, and very powerful. Though hesitating and resisting, there was part of me that wanted to just relax and let go, and trust in what was happening. Like the man in the dream a couple of days ago or so who held the three keys said, one has to trust implicitly that nothing will happen. I found myself not ready this time to trust whole heartedly. My attachments to this physical "self" must subside. I can go no further with this until that moment arrives.
I am at the doorway, I want to step through, but when I do, this perception, this view, will change. I know the view will continue, and that the conscious mind will also be merged into that view in some way, but the ego self will cease to be a influencing part of that union. The "I" that "wants" to step through will die for all intents and purposes. I must willingly let go of that, but in letting go willfully perhaps it is not death. Perhaps it was never alive to be able to die. Such paradoxes, such ironys. Much more difficult than it seems, but yet also so simple...

LAst night before going to sleep I was at a loss as to what to frame up in my mind. I cleared my mind and relaxed. Looking around my desk I came to the various books sitting there. I was drawn to the "Tibetan Book of Living and Dying".
Thinking of rainbows I looked it up in the index. I fopond Rainbow body and read that section. When I finshed I randomly thumbed through the pages and a page with Tibetan script caught me. It was a section on Tibetan mantras. This one in particular was The Mantra of Compassion, OM MANI PADME HUM. I Recited this , framing up in my mind thoughts of compassion and oneness as I drifted off to sleep.

The dream began with me moving from scene to scene. There is not much recall here in this early part other than I was moving around, going places, talking, and seeing things with Wayne Dyer. We were visiting charitable foundations various persons have set up in years past. One that stood out seemed to be associated with a past presidents wife. Then we were going over a foundation that Wayne himself was working with to help establish. I seemed to be here just witnessing all this as it played out, though there was interaction between Wayne and I between settings as we traveled from one place to another. It would seem he was teaching me as we were going and I was asking questions.

Then the dreamview shifts slightly and we are in a shopping mall and Wayne picks up a wallet full of money off the floor someone had dropped. HE hands it to me as it would appear to be mine, though I have no sense of ownership present. I immediately take a portion of the money and hand it to him in gratitude. Knowing he would not accept it, I tell him to give this to someone who really needs it as I myself feel no need for money. There are tears in both our eyes. I remember looking up at him as if he were 8 feet tall. It was as if love, compassion and peace just eminated from him surrounding all around him. I seemed to share in this and felt it growing within me. The wallet and the rest of the money just simple vanished from sight, faded away into nothingness. He smiled at me and the dreamview shifted again.

I find myself following an line of people and places. Its as if they are lined up walking alongside a road. Its like the places are seen moving along with the people, as if the whole of each persons life expereinces were traveling in full view with themselves around them. HArd to describe. The line stretched as far as one could see in both directions, with no beginning nor end in sight. This road was running north and south it seemed. I turned north and began to follow this line moving past these persons as I traveled.
Then I turned and looked back and when I turned back around again to the north it was as if I were going east. It was as if this ine were really a circle looping around back towards itself. HArd to say. At this point the people dissappear and the line becomes what appears to be an electric fence on a farm. I am heading east along the fence and then south to a large barn structure. Right there around the barn the wire of the fence appears broken. I see the two ends and pick the one up to the north where i came from. I start to reach for the one to the south and stop.
There are people here at this barn. I recognize them as my family in the here and now. The y do not notice me and are going about their business unaware. I see that the fence is plugged in ans still live, though the wire ends need to be connected to complete the circuit and let the power flow through it. I have this sense that the fence cannot be unplugged but that I must connect the wires while it is still live. I try and think about how this can be done without being shocked. The conclusion is that the only way to do it is if I am not grounded to the earth while picking up both ends. Oddly I have this picture in mind of transforming myself to being the splice itself and not being the body standing on the ground. I have ideas on the meaning of this, but am still unsure. The view shifts as I see myself reaching to pick up the other end and pull both ends together.

The view shifts to being in what has the appearances of being a large auditorium. There is a bank of stadium seating to the left which is south. I am facing west with my back to the east. To the right, north, it is dark. To the nothwest corner the is a source oflight , a path going west then nort as if into a tunnel. Along with light , there is all sorts of living thigs, birds, trees, grass, flowers, plants and so on on that path.
I look back to the south and there are many many people filling the stadium seating. No seat is empty. All around is dark except where the people are seen.
I begin moving to the west along side all these people. As i see them I recognize each and everyone of them. They range from people I know well, to others I have only seen once in my life. I feel energy building up in the area of my head and neck, a tingling like that which preceded the light expereinces described in the dream from the other night. I have feelings of identifying with each of these individuals as myself. Its as if my ego self has faded away and I am at a sort of oneness with these persons. It is as if I am the ocean experiencing all the unique waves arising on my surface, its as if I am a father embracing his children. Thats as close as I can come to setting the feeling to words. I feel a deep seated empathy with each and everyone, yet there reamins a independant conscious nature to this experience, being that which is experiencing it. This is a very strong sense of being. Neither being independant of all, nor being completely distinct from them. So peacefull. Here the dream ends.

The last few nights have seen me not remembering much of anything of the dreams that occured. Bits and pieces at best. Not enough to even write about.
The only one that I did have any real recollection of was one from the night before last( 3-31 I think) where the scene remembered was of many different women apparently each having sex with a man. the mens faces were not visible, only the woman were completely visible. Each woman had a night gown on and they were on top of the man who was lying on his back.
There were couples as far as the eye could see engaged in this. All of this scene was set against a backdrop of white light, though not real bright in intensity.
There were every type of woman represented in this view, all shapes, races, sizes. Every aspect of descriptive duality was present, yet I found myself looking upon this and feeling a complete equanimity with regards to each woman present. no preferences, no attractions or aversions. I seemed to be feeling acceptance towrds all of them. Its as if I were seeing through the physical shells of the persons and seeing into each person as though what I were seeing was the same from one to another.

Last nights dream was difficult to remember. Not sure I recall all of it. It was very lengthy.

It seems to start out with my disembodied view travelling raods as if in a car, but no car. Seems there is a presence of others along with. We are travelling on a blacktop road that winds through mountain passes. It seems cloudy and somewhat overcast outside with the sun occasionally shining through the cloud cover.
the mountains are always on both sides of this view. Seems most of the travelling is done from north to south and south to north. It seems we go west then east very briefly. Its like we are going in a circle for some reason. There are others we run into. They seem to carry talk of war and rumors of war. I seem to be ignoring it.
At one point it feels as if "we" are out walking around after having stopped and discussing where to go next. Here the dreamview shifts.

Now I find myself with percieved others again. Wwe are in a building, a house, in a kitchen. I am looking for bowls to put morel mushrooms in as it seems we are going to go looking for them out in the woods around this house.
Going outsde we are looking around in fenced in yards. The fence is chainlink fence. I find myself seeing mushrooms along the fence lines on both sides of the fence. There are many people out picking them. I have a feeling as if I am on someone elses property . No one is there at this particular place in the fence so I am encouraged to pick some there though I have feelings of misgiving over it.
The view shifts, I am still looking for mushrooms, but we are in a kitchen area of a banqet hall or something of the sorts. There is a party going on. My dad and his brother are there. Both are drunk.( totally out of character or my dad) I tell him to look for mushrooms. I look in the sink and countertop area where there are piles of dirty dishes sitting around. Oddly there are mushrooms growing in the sink , and at the edges of the countertop. Even more strange is how it seems that where I am seeing them it is as if they are not really growing there but in a outdoor setting that seems to be overlapping into this kitchen setting. Its as if two dreamviews are interdimensionally overlapping with one starting to show through another. Its very interesting in that it would appear that my view remains fixed in one place while what I see in it is moving by this fixed view, and that the individual views or dreamviews are overlapping layers that I can shift through. Very interesting perception, though not terribly clear.
The dreamview shifts again and I am in a snow covered landscape. It seems as if we are out in/ on a half frozen lake in a boat.I see my dads brother off to the side smiling. There is something alive in the water and under the ice. We make great effort to get off the ice and out of the water as this thing seems to be after us, though we never see it actually. We get on to firm ice and I seem to be in a hurry and put my legs through the bottom of the boat, pick it up and run to the ridge of land to the northwest of the lake. I see a companion doing the same with their boat. Seems to be a woman I think.
Getting to the ridge the boats disappear and we are on a railroad track on another ridge. There are buildings to the west and north. We climb around the ditches and ravines around the rig=dge and make our way to a are where a part of sorts is going on. It seems we are in Russia, as everyone is speaking russion. ( probably thanks to dreamviews april fools joke). Cant find anyone who speaks english top help us find our way out of here.
I still do not see the face of the woamn I am apparently with. We come upon bands playing next to their trucks and rv's. Seems they are american on tour here. We begin to see if they can help us. As we do the dreamview shifts again.
Now I am alone in a building with persons here and there, armed as if guards. Seems I am driving nails and setting screws in the walls here and there attempting to make repairs to the place after it has weathered some sort of storm or battle or both. Unsure.
I work my way through the place and as I do I hear peopl giving orders and the guards are moving outside to do something as if something or someone is coming out there. No one seems to see me and what I am doing, or at least they are taking no notice of me. At the south end of this building I come to a wall with a door in it. I feel the presence of a woman behind it and have a knowing she is in charge of this place, I als feel a knowing that she is changing clothes behind it and I am careful not to open the door while I put a screw into the panel above the door. I feel she knows I am there as well. I also have a feeling that she is trouble, not to be trusted. Seems also she is directing a war or battel going on outside agains some force seeming intent on taking this building. Seems I am part of that force in some way though I do not know in what capacity, nor do I know what my purpose is being on the inside.
Again things shift and It again as if dreamviews are overlapped. I have the experience of that it seems i am telling someone of these dream views. As I am telling them I am revisiting each view I just described. It is strange in that each time I begin telling of one of the views as I tell it I am not telling the same as I experienced it earlier. Its as if I am changing the description and as I an changing the description the view I am witnessing is changing to match that description. Its an alomst instantaneous thing. As the words form so to does the view described change from what it originally was to what it is now being described as.
I go through this with each of the situations described above and then I wake up.

Last nights dream was preceded by dreaming that I dont recall. This is getting to be a theme in my dreaming. I know I dreamed but once awake there is no recall of anything save for very brief bits or pieces, and then those do not remain clear for long. Then that will be followed by a vividly remembered stretch of dream.

This dream starts , and this is as if everything is fading into focus gradually, outside in a mix of country and town scenery, night and day images. As things come into focus, in memory, I find myself entering buildings, multi story ones. Its like they are apartment buildings or hotels. Always seem to be entering from the south side of the buildings and heading north, up a set of stairs.
I feel the presence of another with me. A woman I feel. There is also a sence of one or more others following closely behind, but the feeling is detached and distant. Very subtle.

We enter several of these hotels or apartment buildings, I think 3 in all. The first two seem to do not yeild any results. We seem to be looking for room numbers. These two seem oridinary, not particulary well lit, somewhat dark. Both are just average in appearance and layout. At the top of the initial entry satirs there is a wall it seems and you can go left or right from there.

In the first building we go up some stairs ahead to the north and then turn right East, then right again and are going up a set of stairs top the south. At that point the view shifts and we find ourselves coming up to the second building. This time we seem to tun left, west, after the initial set of stairs and left again going south. Here the view shifts again.

In the third place we get to one and go up a set of stairs and it seems to be a fairly elegant place. Nicely lit. The walls are white and clean. There is a open area there with a long hallway directly ahead, but just off to the east. Just ahaed off to the west there is an open are going on north and west.

We seem to follow the hallway on the east side straight ahead. As we go into the hallway there is noticed many doors on both sides of the hall. Suddenly we are back out front at the landing atop the stairs in front of the hallway. I see in my minds eye a door with the number 66 on it. ( I was born in 1966). There is a second door that appears raight about the same time, but I do not catch the number as vividly as I did the other door. It seems to flash by too quickly. I want to say it is in the latter 70's, 78 or 79. I just do not know for sure. I could be just grasping. It could be similarly related to this female presence I was talking about. Dont know.
Folloing this We go west and north inside the same building. This female presence materialzes into more of a solid person, though still not clearly distingusihable in facial features of bodily appearance. Its as if I explain I will never have any great amount of monetary wealth myself. I look right then back and see here on the floor as if passed out. There is a slot machine in front of her and she has just one a huge jackpot. There is a feeling as if through her all needs will be met. I will be freee to do what is in front of me, though what that is is not made known. I feel it onvolves helping others who will be coming. Interesting notions playing out here.
I see this womans face. She appears to be in love with me. Her face is not recognizable in the dream, it seems ambiguous in a way,almost as if in the process of changing appearances. We share a nice warm kiss.

The view shifts and we seem to be heading around to the outer wall of this buidling along the west side. It appears daylight outside. INside it appears as if a indoor baseball staduim, with several levels of seating. We are on a level with one below us. Seems we are ack to looking for an apartment again. This time we mill through crowded seating to find stairs going down. Each time we find nothing going down them. Everytime we come back up there are less people and less seats to be seen.

The view shifts somewhat and where the seats were , where the peole are now gone there is open dirt. A hose appears and I appear to be watering the soil for something to be planted to grow. The woman is helping me with the hose. There are small hills and ridges I go up and down. It appears to be getting dark out the more I water .

The view shifts and it is as if I am dreaming. I see my car and I am driving somewhere. I stop and give charge of my car s to soemone else till I get back from walking somewhere amd talking to someone. I am with this woman again looking to unhook the hose or turn the water off. I see myself slip and spray water on some people in the seating below. The view shifts to a hydrant where I have the urge to turn a valve. At that point of reaching for the valve its like I awake from a dream and see some body driving my car wildly around in the mud. I start to get upset with the person I left in charge of it, but almost immediately I let go of the whole idea of needing the car and am at peace with the whole situation and do not care about it anymore. I let the car drive away and turn away and walk off back to my woman friens and the area behind me I was watering. I see now it is becomeing green with new growth.
At this point I begin to wake up.

If I remember more I will come back and write, but at this point thats about all I can recall.

LAst night I had a lengthy dream. I woke up briefly and as going over it in my mind and went back to sleep again. I immediately began dreaming from the point where I left off in this first dream. I do not recall any of the preceding dream, but vividly recall the second dream. Its as if the first was only necesary to bring me to the second.

The second begins in what appears to be a large machine shed with a high cieling and a concrete floor. It reminds me of ,and has a subtle familiarity to the one at my parrents house, but this one seems bigger and somehow different.
There is a big open door to the east with windows in the walls to the west and south. To the north the shed extends further, beyond where the eye can see. It appears to be daylight outside the building and it is well lit inside save for to the north beyond this particular room. BEyond that point it gradually fades to darkness.

There are picnic type tables and benches set up in the center of this room with space to easily walk between them. There are only a very few persons sitting or standing in here . Less than half a dozen I think.

To the north of the seating area and off to the east part of it stands a man speaking . He is teaching on the ways of mind and energy patterns and their manifestation into the realm of form. I recognize the form of this man as Dr. Wayne Dyer. He is dressed as he was in a previous dream recently ( listed above somewhere) , he wears a black oriental robe style clothing. He wears no shoes.

Its as if I have arrived in the middle of a teaching, just appeared in the room already seated at one of the tables facing east and looking north. Its strange , as if in the previous dream I was thinking about what he is currently talking about and appeared hear just as he is picking up where my thoughts had left off.

I notice as I am sitting there that the upper areas of my head and body are alive with a tingling of energy of sorts, at least thats as I choose to describe it. I feel in the area of the "third eye " or central forehead, as if this percieved feeling is moving into that area and focusing itself there, forming a circular loop in the forehead creating an "opening" of sorts in the center of that loop. I would describe the opening as pure emptiness. Its as if all my thoughts and concetration are focused around that point of emptiness. Not on the emptiness but swirling around it, creating a mere awareness of that emptiness, slight and subtle.

At the same time I am listening to the teaching I am caught up in these sensations, foucsed on both equally in the moment. Dyer begins speaking of bringing thoughts into form, manifesting the energy into the material realm, into the images of what is percieved around us. I find my thought drifting and almost immediately I find myself walking away to the south with Dr Dyers arm around my shoulder talking to me. I say something to the effect : that yes I already understand that where you focus your thoughts brings such into form. He corrects me eagerly but gently to the effect of: you must understand that your physical body only carries the focal point and it( the body) is part of the overall arising pattern of energy and that you( your conscious mind/awareness) must allow the energy to make use of it as it will without being attached to what is happening and thus interfereing with the arising of that energy and its crystalization into percieved form.
Furthermore, there was mental imagery and understanding that arose here to where all the energy, arising from all individuals, works hand in hand towards the manifestaion of what comes into physical existance. The individuals energy can be seen as both direct and indirect in affecting outcome, or the end pattern and the way it crystallizes into form. IE one can flow with the energy and move with it or one can stand firm, anchored, as in opposition thus creating disturbances in that flow. All can be similarly observed in the flow of water in a stream. this was a subtle experience, but it has great depth yet to be explored.

I immediately found myself seated again at a table, facing north this time, listening to Dr. Dyer teach. Its as if he never stopped talking and never left his place to the north of the room. Its like he was helping me individually at the same time he was teaching from the north of he room. Linear time, nor sequence of events therin, did not apply.

As he continued to teach, I found myself intensely focused on the energy and tingling sensations swirling throught my body. This energy seemed to be drawing itself together into the area of my forehead. As this was happening I felt an almost complete disassociation with my physical body. I began to feel myself as nothing but energy. I percieved myself as light of sorts in the form of energy, swirling around this loop of emptiness. the more I felt the disassociation strengthen, the more I began to feel as if I were drawn into that loop of emptiness. This is hard to describe. Its as if as I( as the swirling energy) entered the emptiness my "sense of presence" felt if it left the room and expanded instantly in all directions. I reacted to the experience with fear, as if I were not going to be able to come back and I snapped out of it and lost all the concentration that had been building.

I found myself up and walking around startled, contemplating what had just happened. I turned and it was as if Wayne Dyer were right there with me talking to me while at the same time he was still teaching the others, his lecture unbroken still continuing. I told him of my fear of not being able to come back. He smilingly said something to the effrect of : come back from where? Here?
In that I began to think the same as he was speaking to me, all in the same momnet, that all there is- is here. Here and there are one in the same. What I see around me as "here", is not intrinsically real, just as neither "there" is intrinsically real either. I am the "here" and the "there". Both issue forth from me. My troubles, my fears , come from grasping at one or the other not realizing that it is I myself that is merely a "perception", a "perspective point of view" that is being grasped at.

I was reaching the point where I was losing my fears of what I had experienced when I woke up.



I wish to share an observation that seems to relate to the content of this dream.
I have watched for some time now how animals react to people around them. Animals seem to sense the underlying alignments of energy within people. Dogs and cats in particular I have noticed this. With them it seems to be more directly focused with the individual. With horses I have noticed that they seem, or can seem more sensative to the overall energy flowing through or around people. The interconnectedness of the energys at work if you will.
I see the dogs growl at different people when the enter into proximity of the dog here where I live. They sense the imbalance in those particular people in a way others do not. Even when those persons appear to be nice the dog still growls. Agitate those persons just a little and the imbalance comes right out to be seen. Rage, anger, hatered, jealousy etc etc. Its whats inside them, what they are tuned into, so its what pours out. Animals sense this more so than people, but one can tune into this energy as well and sense it in others, around others.
Horses seem to have an awareness of the mix of energy, and its movement around them. this is even more subtle than what the dogs are tuned into with particular individuals. Horses seem to be able to be spooked by changes in the energy fields around them. I will notice how a horse can be fine with one person then another. Then when interaction between the two takes place and imbalance comes out in that interaction the horse can get uneasy. This is hard to adequately describe.
For years in my current marriage, I have been running loose as if chasing my tail trying to make the marriage work from my end. All to little progress. My wife says its all my fault and wont go to counseling. The one time she did go , the counselor readily noticed that she was terrified of confronting herslef and what was inside her. She never went back. The same problems just keep arising no matter hwat it is I do. I have changed my approach so many times trying every concievable way that its almost uncountable. Nothing seems to work. No matter how I change myself, nothing fixes the problems.
I recognize my shortcomings, and worked to eliminate how I was reacting to the situations. I have reacterd terribly at time. I haveat times been the asshole of assholes to put it bluntly. This I must concede to. HEre we come to cause and effect.
I remember when before I me her I was at a really stabil state of well being. Slow to anger, had a good outlook, and felt good about myself. Then I married my wife I have now for the last 18 years. The first two were oK. She started having kids, then the attitude on her side went and shifted. I started letting here mood swings get to me and then I started getting caught up in anger and resentment which led to verbal expression of said anger and resentment. So there she is right in her perspective that I am the cause of all this. But I had to wonder.
I began to look at the rest of her family and noticed the same negative tendencies she was exhibiting. The tendencies that were working to provoke ill feelings in me. It wasnt til the last couple of years when I began to explore buddhist and hindu teachings as well as the metaphysical ideas presents by some that I began to see things differently. I began to see this negativity, this imbalance in her and her family as a wave of energy they were all "tuned into". It was there that I began to try and tue myself out of that wave. And lo and behold it seemd to work. WHile I was getting less and less cought up in that imbalance, it didnt seem to change her much., only in how she was reacting to me. The same things that I had been reacting to from her all these years were still clearly present.
I then remembered how since before we were married that she had a dim , negative view of marriage and how she literally saw herself as being someone who was going to be divorced and rasng her kids on her own. It was almost as if she was wanting it to be that way, thats how strong the idea was/still is in her minds eye. She sees marriage as a bad thing and men in general as cheaters and unreliable. I used to think I was outside this view, but I see no that I am also included in it, though I really havnt done anything to warrant such an inclusion. She grew up with an alcoholic father and a mother who abused him verbally and physically. All her siblings have had broken homes, broken relationships and numerous divorces. Seeing all this as patterns of energy flowing through this connected group of people makes this all make sense to me now, where it didnt before. I dont get caught up in it like I did before.

Anyhow, I see our marrital problems as part of this energy pattern that she is tuned into. I also see that I have been unwittingly tuned ito it as well. Furthermore, of even greater value I also have seen through tis how I get tunesd into other peoples energy patters that they are tuned into. Evidence is in my first marriage as well. I also see how others can get tuned into the energy flowing through me. It works equally for both percieved positive and negative fields of energy.
Now, bringing this back into perspective, Seeing my wife caught up in, and pouring out this negative , anti marriage - me being the despcible husband energy or midset, I began to see me as having stood in opposition to this all these many years. Not flowing with the natural flow of things but being attached to the situiation, the persons in it( wife and kids), not letting things flow but trying to block that flow, trying to exert some control over it, trying to change it from what it is.
This week I began to try to un-anchor myself and simply quit trying to oppose the energy of what is happening. I decided to let go of the attachments and just flow with the movement of this energy to where ever it takes me. I took off my wedding ring the other day. She took hers off 10 years ago. Yesterday about 6:00 pm. I sat here looking at a picture of her on my computer thats been there for about almost ten years now. I took it down and put it away up on a shelf behind me.
My wife had been out riding one of her horses. Almost to the second of me removing that picture and the thoughts of letting go that went with it, the horse went beserk, threw her off and went running through the yard like it had been shocked with a cattle prod. I ended up taking her to the Emergency room for bruised ribs and so on and so forth. She had no real expalnation as to why it threw her. Coincidence?

I had the sense I was moving through the basement of a church. Seem the same church basement setting as in the dream a number of days ago. Moving west but facing north Imy view moves into a kitchen area.
It seem I am looking for a glass to get water and drink out of and a plate to put food on and eat of of. In froont of me there are piles of plates, dishes and glasses all jumbled together on counters and in drawers and on shelves. All are dirty. Even the ones inside the closed cupboards and drawers. Everythig has a thin layer of grime covering it. Nothing is usable to eat or drink from.

The view shifts and I find myself in a house, though it seems its partly in the structure partly out of the structure. Its as if the house is cut away like some of the walls and cieling have been removed so much is open to the night sky and dark outdoors. Outside it is quite dark. Stars can bee seen in the sky, but I do not recall seeing the moon.
Inside the are of the structure there is lots of odds & ends of stuff. Apparent accumualtions of living many years. I mull over all the odds & ends and do not see anything in particular that seems useful. Just a lot of clutter I keep tripping over. none of it seems to be my own, but rather it seems to belong to my wife.
I see her and her sister going through the stuff one section at a time. They are sorting through it all, saving some and organizing it and moving it to the north part of the building( this is the south west part we are in). I have this sense of a death. Its like the scene has me thinking of a parrent dying and persons going through the dead persons stuff afterwards, however, the feeling with this scene is that all this stuff is more so related to my wife than anyone else, belonging directly to her, though this feeling of death is not centered on her. Its as if the feeling of death is associated with another unidentified individual.
As they are moving stuff. I find myself helping at my wifes direction. I am stacking things and either putting the elswhere or handing them to her directly. In the process I see a apparent broke shop vac. There is something about the configuration of the hose and its way of connecting that I identify as having a use for. They give it to me and I start to take it away.
The view shifts and I am in a east bedroom in the same building. There is wood panelled walls in it with a bed up against the walls. their is a thick coat of grime on the walls, much like there was on the church dishes and glasses, only much darker and much thicker. I have the sense that this bedroom is my wifes room and mine.
I find a large washtub appear out of no where on the bed and it is filling with pepsi col( something my wife drinks and takes into her body. I find myself with a washrag in hand and I see myself wiping the walls with the rag soaked in the pepsi cola. Amazingly the walls are getting cleaned off. The pepsi is cutting through the grime. I find myself calling out to my wife telling her of this. I tell her that this stuff is acidic and eating the grime, I say something like " and you drink this stuff and put it into your body?"

Again, there was much more to the dream, but once awake this is all that was vividly remembered. I do have a sense that this dream deals with spiritual connotations in a number of ways. this I felt even while yet in the last part of the dream, almost as in a subtle lucid sort of way..

Its like what we take into ourselves that seems detrimental turns around later to be a catalyst for actually cleaning ourselves up.

Another observation that may apply to this dream is that sometimes what we accumulate within ourselves drags us down and buries us until such a time that something happens in our life, something traumatic like a death or terribly challenging event that makes us face ourselves, that triggers a big clean up.

I do not know by any means, but I could take a guess that this dream could carry a meaning of that my wife is going to suffer such a event in the near future. More likely though, this all deals with myself and what is going on within me, not outside persons, places or things.

One other part I remembered later this morning was that which followed what I described above. After the pepsi experience, the view shifted once more to where i seemed to be walking in and around other people. Still my wifes was there and it seemed like the other people were members of here family. It was strange in that I was witnessing myself and experiencing what I was doing at the same time. More of this "split perception" as I have described in previous dreams. I was identifying more with the witness perception thatn the experiencer perception in this case. I could see my self drinking Scotch whiskey and starting to get drunk. I do not drink and was attaining lucidity as a result of this awareness. It was becoming in the dream as if this person drinking was not the person/body I am used to seeing myself as, but someone else. I remember thinking quite boldly that this is not me I am seeing drinking and getting drunk. At that I woke up.

Here is another what I am calling a waking dream for the lack of a better label. Slipping into a dreamlike state while yet awake.

I was watching season 3 of Battlestar Galactica on DVD . While I was watching I was propmted by some of the situations on the show to think about the Dahli Lamas teaching on Compassion and other teachings on the oneness of all things. As my thoughts raced and the drama on the show unfolded I found myself in a dreamlike state. The room, me watching the show, the show itself, all seemed to become distant, as if my view were simply watching "my" body sitting there watching the show. Yet I still had the sense of sitting there watching TV in the same momet.
Its like my view, my perception were broken up into different layers, levels, or tiers, all percieving in the same momemt , but percieving in different ways. In this moment I was "seeing" from the perspective of the body sitting on the couch watching TV. I was also percieving from the perspective of witnessing the body in the room ,in the house, watching TV on the couch.
There was a third tier as well. This perspective was as if I were a "field of energy" spread out to infinity with no feeling as to an end or a beginning. In this perspective I also felt as if the embodied individual were simply an extension of myself, like a hand or a finger. It felt as if it were merely part of me, my field of energy temporarily crystalized into form. Even more interesting was that there was also a feeling of having many such appendiges in the moment. All me, all one yet each having its on distinct characteristics while crystalized in form. This is difficult to put into adequate words.
I felt during this dreamlike state, a feeling of disassociation with my body, or the "me" that I have been used to seeing in the mirror each day. I did not see this "person" this "body" as me anymore during this, at least not the "total me". Only a part, a perspective that I can shift my view to or away from.

This is hard to describe accurately in words.

Furthermore, I had a distinct feeling that as this field of energy, I was moving through all my various apendiges, or persons, to effect a state of balance among and between other fileds of energy that seemed to be part of me, yet disturbed. Disturbed in as if individual musical instruments playing out of tune in an orchestra of many instruments. It was a very interesting feeling.

It was weird as all of these perspectives were happening all at the same time with no conflict. It was like I was there in each and I could shift my focus to be more involved with any one of the three while "screeing" out the other two, yet still be aware of what was going on in the other two. Damn, this is hard to describe.

This all happened in just a minute of the movie time going by, if that. I didnt even miss the part of the show I was watching while this was going on.

It was there an over all that quick, yet it seemed like a long time being there in it.