Cut's Dream Journal

[Cut]

I'm new to all this, and I've read that a dream journal is necessary for the best results, so here goes I actually have had one lucid dream in the past that I can remember, and I became lucid when I realized that I had had the dream before. The first time I had the dream I was being chased in a very eerie version of my real back yard by a demonic dog. The second time, when I became lucid, I realized that I could stop the dog if I had something to fight it with. Soooo I materialized two massive chain guns and blew the demon dog away lol... Okay, on to the real dream journal. I'm going to kind of copy Jamal's format if it's alright with him Regular Dreaming Lucid Dreaming

[bro]

Good initiative Cut. I hope to see some good dream recordings here. It's good you've realized what can be done in dreams...anything. So really you didn't even have to summon guns, (though that must have been fun ) you can use pure mindpower...hehe. It's great to be creative. Enjoy the journey

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Tuesday, December 18 This is pretty long, but pretty deep as well. I signed up for these forums last night. I had been here before, but never really got into it. This time though, I read through a lot of posts and stories, etc., and decided I would really give it a try (you all make it sound so amazing, I just couldn't resist ). Anyways, when I finally went to bed and fell asleep, I started to dream. Unfortunately, I must have been trying too hard to exert control over the dreams once they started, and I half-woke up multiple times (probably 4-5 times). I decided I should stop trying so hard and went to sleep. A dream came. It started off with me taking a math/science exam in a small classroom by myself (I just had finals). I finished and left the room, giving my test to an elderly professor waiting outside. Next thing I remember, the rest of the class showed up to take the test. I guess I was taking it early for some reason unbeknownst to me. We were all standing outside in a kind of urban environment (alot like Crossfire on CoD4), and the professor was talking to the rest of the students about the test. Suddenly, I hear "BEAST!" yelled in my mind; it wasn't audible in the dream. I even saw BEAST! come up like subtitles on a movie. It confused me, because nobody else seemed to hear it. It happened again. This time it was "louder," as if the person saying it got closer. I suddenly took a shotgun shell to the back, pointblank, which killed me. As I fell dying I saw the person behind was crouched, wearing all black with a black hood on, and I think someone else was right behind them. You'd think the dream would end there, but it just changed drastically, and I think I was partially lucid during this part. I was aware it was a dream, but I couldn't control anything. I was dead, and the world of the dead in my dream was...well...dreamy. It was like a dreamworld within my dreamworld. I was walking down a street nearby where I had just died, and the world had a fuzzy golden tint to it. There were some ruins to either side of the street, as well as some perfectly intact, nice homes. There were even some people doing things outside of their houses, but none of them could see me...I was dead. Anyways, I seemed to be in complete harmony with everything, and I was happy as I walked. I started to hear a voice that was hard to understand at first, but slowly became clearer. It was God. He was saying something along the lines of "You are the One, chosen..." I don't remember exactly what was said, only the general idea of me being vastly important for some reason. When I heard these words, I could see a huge city on the horizon, and I think it represented the whole world. As the words faded, I started to return to the "real world" (my dreamworld). I was going to be some kind of savior or something like that for the world. The last thing I remember was recognizing that it was a dream, but thinking it was something more than just a dream, that God had really spoken to me. As my consciousness, and the dream, faded, I said a prayer. I don't remember exactly what I prayed, but I think it was for the general well-being of the world, and the people living in it. Then I woke up. I'm not too religious of a person. I do believe in God and in Jesus, but I'm very cynical about religion in general, especially with modern Christianity. But for some reason this dream felt like it pulled me closer to God. Is that absurd? Was it all just fabrications of my mind? I've never had a dream like this one before...I don't know, perhaps tonight will reveal more answers, and maybe I can have a conversation with "the Voice." Thanks for reading, and I would appreciate any thoughts or comments from anyone, especially the more experienced LD'ers.

[The Cusp]

Hey, it's the chosen one! The prophecies said you would show up here. I don't know what to make of that dream, but it was pretty cool. Shot in the back wasn't the best way to die, but at least you didn't go to hell.

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Wednesday, December 19 I had dreams, but nothing interesting or lucid, just stupid stuff. I remember bits and pieces at this point, but not worth mentioning. I'm going to sleep now, so I'll share my lucid experience tomorrow

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Thursday, December 20 I dreamed, but too many distractions in the morning made me forget them = [ Dumb dogs...Definitely not lucid though, shame... Hopefully I'll make some progress tonight...

[bro]

Hehe, I'm sure you'll have some luck soon enough...it's just a matter of time. Above all, take what your head gives you with some gentle inspriation and encouragement...don't force it. No frustration.., it sounds like you have a good attitude..keep that up and enjoy the ride. PS- i'd record even the random silly bits..but that's your call...sometimes you can draw something from even those.

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Thanks, Bro The random bits were far too random to have any effect on anything lol. They weren't coherent enough to even make sense lol. Friday, December 21 I had some real dreams, but once again, disturbances in the morning made me forget them almost immediately. However, I do remember the majority of the most coherent dream of the night. I walked/drove up to my old friend Aaron's house (I haven't seen him in years, but it wasn't enough to make me realize I was dreaming). I can picture how the scene from the road looks like in real life, and it looked that way at first, but changed almost instantly. The whole place was like the inside of a castle. There were huge brick buildings, forming a kind of medieval architecture. I noticed that the buildings seemed brand new, and that at least 3 or 4 were Inns, although I can't remember the names of them. The place was quite beautiful. I was suddenly fast forwarded to Aaron's father giving me a tour of the castle (apparently there actually was a castle...). By the way he was describing the different areas, it appeared that this was a very old castle that had recently been restored. The most explicit detail I can remember, simply because it was so strange, was the he pointed out a blood stain on one of the walls. He said, "And this is where the 20-man Choir abused some animals." I was really confused, and asked, "20-man Choir?" He said yes and moved on. I thought the idea of a choir comprised of 20 men being called the 20-man choir was so weird I didn't even give the animal abuse a second thought. (I imagine this came up because my girlfriend is a vegetarian because of animal abuse.)

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Saturday, December 22 I was browsing the forums last night before I went to bed in hopes of bringing about a lucid dream that way. In my search, I found the audio file that I H8 Reality had used to get 10 lucid dreams in one night. I downloaded it and played it and immediately was hypnotized by it. Seriously, as soon as it came on it was like a weird rush of relaxation. I suggest everyone try it out. Well, for some reason, I decided to try a WILD, based on my little amount of knowledge on how to. I set that audio file to loop so it would keep playing as I slept and such. I laid down on my back (I normally sleep on my side/stomach), closed my eyes, and relaxed. I didn't count breaths, but I focused on my breathing for most of the time, as well as the audio file. It was a battle not to move, as I'm not used to such a task (I bet those people who paint themselves up and pretend to be statues in big cities are amazing at this). I started to feel the sensation of having heavy blankets slowly piled on top of me, so I knew it was working. As the audio file reached its very climactic end, I really started to get into it. It was like my inner-eyelid vision expanded and became darker, and felt farther away from my body. But I encountered my first problem when a different song started playing; apparently the audio file was not on loop = [ It only set me back a little bit, and I tried to use it to my advantage. I kept falling deeper and deeper into the SP, but somewhere my mind began to wander, and I fell half-asleep. When my body sent me that huge "are you awake?" signal I have heard about, it jolted me awake but caused me to move a little, ruining everything...I was still a little submersed, but far less than I was before. I sat there for a few minutes and then decided to give up for the night (it had been like 45 minutes). It was interesting that when I decided to turn over to go to sleep, it was like pulling my body out of sand. *Note: I noticed that occasionally swallowing and slight movement of the eyes did not affect my results.* Well, I dreamed. There were quite a few, so I'm going to keep them brief. Dream 1: Supermarket Mayhem A few of my friends and I were in a supermarket screwing around. We almost had a full-on food fight, but security got onto us before it really broke out. They weren't the usual friends I hang out with. Dream 2: A Shot at Love...? The first half of this dream I don't remember. However, I do remember a sense of being on a show like Tila Tequila's "A Shot at Love" or "I Love New York." For the second half, I remember getting on a bus to go somewhere. I didn't think I was part of the show anymore, but apparently the bus I got on was the show's bus, full of contestants. I sat down in one of the front seats, and Jack Nicholson was sitting next to me, with the show's producer behind me. They both said something to me, and I got the idea that the contestants were supposed to go buy some nice new clothes for some fancy dinner. I hadn't, but I didn't care because I thought I wasn't on the show. Then Jack Nicholson is like, "well, he does look pretty good now anyways," and the producer agreed. They both decided what I was wearing was indeed nice and appropriate for the dinner, and that I was very stylish lol. The bus drives by the UF Library and there are people outside protesting something about it. The people on the bus suddenly become enraged, because they think the library is perfect. They run off the bus and start violently beating the picketers, starting by shoving a random bystander off her bike. In retrospect, the beating reminds me of 30 Days of Night in how savage it was. Well instead of thinking this is too crazy to be real, so I must be dreaming, I instead make it into a TV show. All of a sudden I'm actually watching this on TV, and it's part of an episode of House. I call my girlfriend to tell her to watch it because it's so crazy. End. Dream 3: Dad's a Pirate I'm sitting by my Dad, who in my dream looks like Kevin Sorbo. He's packing his things up because he's going off to be a pirate. (May have something to do with the fact that my dad just had eye surgery and he's wearing a patch =p) That's it for that crazy night...

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Sunday, December 23 Nothing special. I met a few of my friends that I don't see very often at the airport, as they had just flown in. Next thing I know we're playing Call of Duty 4, but it's like virtual reality in that we are the characters on the screen. I own as usual. Progress Report I've come to realize two of my personal dream signs. Video game related themes, such as setting or subject, and the appearance of friends that I don't see very much (e.g., friends from high school). Now, if only I could recognize these while in my dreams well enough to make myself reality check... Off to bed now, Merry Christmas to all who celebrate the Christian Church's lack of originality ; )

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Monday & Tuesday, December 24-25 I had dreams, but I don't remember them now...I tried to WILD last night, but I guess I was too tired because I just fell asleep after 10 minutes. My dream recall is getting better. I remember that I have dreams every night, and as soon as I wake up I can remember them. I can't make myself get up and turn on my laptop to record them, though = / The problem with trying to have a DILD for me is that instead of my mind saying, "wow this is too weird to be a dream," it changes it into being something on TV or something like that. One of my dreams last night was about these zombies attacking a town I was in, but I ended up watching it on TV in my dream. Maybe watching TV is a dream sign for me lol. I'll try that...

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Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, Dec. 26-28 Nothing on Wednesday Remembered having one dream on Thursday, but couldn't recall it. Remember one dream from last night which started with crazy sex and ended with my girlfriend cheating on me with my dad...I woke up shaking. Nothing relevant =/ Chocolate doesn't help me, and it seems that B6/Fish Oil doesn't help either.

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Saturday, December 29 I remember a part of a dream, where my girlfriend and I were planning some naughty mischief (lol) and somehow my mom knew and we got in trouble... That's all = [ Dream recall is fading and I think it's because of my diet lately. Meh. I'm gonna try some WBTBs this week. I think I'm going to reality check everytime I see my girlfriend IRL, because she's in my dreams a lot.

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Sunday & Monday, December 30-31 Nothing to report from Sunday night. I remember having one dream, but I don't remember anything about it. I had a lot of dreams last night, but I can only remember part of one. How I wake up in the morning severely ruins my dream recall (phone, parents, dogs, etc.). Anyways, here's the part I can remember: I was in school, macking on all the girls lol. I gave this one tall girl a nice sweater, for Christmas I guess? Next thing I can remember is I'm standing outside shortly after school. The tall girl thanks me again for the sweater, and I think I tried to kiss her but she backed away. Well, I guess I was waiting for someone to pick me up, because I was just kind of wandering around in this outside cafe area. Some guy was offering free wine tastings outside of a restaurant. Another girl I had been flirting with during school was sitting at some table alone. I talked to her for a bit, but failed when I ran out of stuff to talk about. I kept walking around, and decided to try the wine. As I tasted it, I woke up. =/ Haven't had a lucid yet, very disappointing...

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Tuesday, January 1 Went to bed later than usual and woke up earlier than usual. All together about 4-5 hours of sleep. I had dreams, but only remember fragments. The first dream was about deciding which headphones I wanted, the AX360s or A40s. Again, I don't remember any details other than what it was about. The second dream had my girlfriend in it, and I remember that I kept loking up for a helicopter. I think we were avoiding this helicopter, and now for some reason I remember it was in the first dream as well. That's all = /

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Wednesday, January 2 Took a nap today and woke up a few times, and I had a few dreams. Only one I can remember was another CoD4 game. I was just inside of it like the last time... We'll see what happens tonight. Later that night... Tried a WILD but got disturbed when my dog barked after about an hour. I had been visualizing a cue ball as my concentration maker, and at one point it started to look real, but I never got past "close." No dreams to report either.

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Thursday, January 3 I went out and bought some B-Vitamins, a sleep mask, and some melatonin. I'm gonna try these out tonight and see how it works. I'm pretty confident that I'm going to have a lucid tonight

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January 4-6 The melatonin seems to make my sleep deeper, because I get a general feeling that my dreams are longer and less choppy. Over the last few days I've only been able to recall 3 dreams. Post-Apocalypse I was in some world where order was slowly being restored after an apocalyptic event. The only real thing I can remember is that I was flying in a helicopter over the ocean, radioing a survivor colony, when all of a sudden a giant killer whale comes up out of the ocean and tries to take our chopper down. It misses with its jaws and tries hitting us with its tail as it falls back into the water. It misses again and we fly off. Just weird... I remember being at a large house in a mountainous environment. There were these people, kinda like munchkins, but less ridiculous looking. They were building up some kind of tunnel system through the house, starting in the basement and working up. I left and came back later in the dream (don't remember the middle stuff) to find the tunnel system destroyed and the munchkins cleaning up the mess and digging through the rubble. I asked what happened and the leader said that Leonidas (as in the Spartan king) had destroyed it. Apparently, he destroyed it as part of some country-wide contest, like a giant war game, which also explains the building of the tunnel system. That's it. First Day of School Again I note that all of these dreams were much longer than is written, but I only remember pieces. For this dream, I remember getting out of some class and seeing a guy I never really talk to who goes to UF with me. (Note that this dream was the night before my first day of class - today.) I asked him about his classes and maybe about his Christmas break, and continued on my way to my next class. Interesting thing happens next. I have to drive to my next class because it is too far away to walk. The road I'm on is a long straightaway with trees on either side. My destination is the only turn off of this straight, but I can't seem to control my car well enough to make the turn. I drive past it, turn around, drive past again, 80 point turns, insanity. I've read on here that in dreams driving a car doesn't work, but I never experienced it before. I just wish I could have remembered it during the dream instead of afterwards, so I could have recognized it and become lucid. That's pretty much where my memory ends.

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Monday, January 7 The only thing I can remember is that my dream had some kind of background music, and I feel that it almost made me lucid...I think I'm getting close.

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Tuesday, January 8 Ok, the melatonin DEFINITELY makes my dreams longer and more coherent by putting me in a deeper sleep. I had two dreams last night. Crazy Spider from Hell [COLOR="Green"]I was walking through the woods and bumped into this huge spider web that coered the trail in front of me. This spider that was about the size of a softball starting coming down at me from the branches above. I ran... Later I came back to the same area, but I wasn't sure where exactly the web was. This time someone was with me (I think my girlfriend). She was a little a head of me and to my left when I saw the web right next to her. She touched it and the spider came out of a bush to the right of the web and hissed. I hit it with something but it didn't phase it. We ran and it chased us a short distance before going back. I guess I reported it to some scientists, because the next thing I know we caught it and we're going to do some test on it or maybe try to kill it. The scientists put a bug on a big cracker looking thing, and have this balding DC eat it. Once that's down, they have him swallow the spider (I guess it was supposed to eat the bug on the cracker?). Apparently, the stomach acid was what was decided should kill it, but something went wrong. The guy said he didn't feel good, and he started to sweat. We were trying to figure out something to do to save him, but that's where my dream ends.[/COLOR] Semi-gay dream I don't remember the first half of the dream, but I know it resulted in my girlfriend and I breaking up. There was this kid, Travis, who I knew IRL, but in my dream he was gay. Apparently, since Josie and I broke up, I thought it was a good idea to go out with him I'm missing some memories, but the next thing I know we're at the movies with some people, including my girlfriend, but I'm there with Travis. It was even weird to me, because in my dream I wasn't gay. I was just going out with a gay guy. My dream self thought it didn't make sense either...Anyways, I look down the row of seats to where Josie is sitting and realize how much I love her and miss her. I look at Travis and say, "Come on, I need to talk to you." I take him back to some house I was in earlier in the dream, and tell him that I can't be with him anymore, that I love Josie. He gets upset and starts rambling on about how "that's not the way things work" and that I was breaking some kind of homosexual rules by doing this. I only half-listened as I played with some really cool device. It was like a sphere container on a table, and I could stick my hand through it. It was like a sphere of liquid that wouldn't get your hand wet. It was a container for some crazy bouncy balls. They were like super bouncy balls of all different shapes and sizes, and they glowed! It was sweet. Travis finished his rant and we went back to the movie theater to finish the movie (the new AVP), since this house was next door to the theater. Apparently, the theater exploded or something like that happened, because there were police and ambulances and everything there. The dream jumps to the hospital, where I find myself incredibly worried about Josie. I'm in a room where a few people are in beds, including her. I fall to my knees in despairing grief, and crawl to her bedside (more like a couch). I put my hands together to pray, aware of how ridiculous I must look. Just before I prayed I looked up and saw Josie open her eyes and look at me. She smiled, and I knew everything was going to be okay. I confessed to her how much I missed her and loved her more than anything, and probably admitted how stupid I was for going out with a gay guy Definitely one of the weirder dreams I've had. It seems that my dreams lately have become more realistic in setting, with the major oddities occurring in actions instead of objects.

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Wednesday - Thursday, January 9-10 I had a dream Wednesday night, and was planning on writing it down as soon as I woke up. I grabbed the notepad next to my bed, but didn't see a pen close by so I just went back to sleep =/ Nothing to report from last night, although I'm certain I dreamed.

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Friday - Saturday, January 11-12 Don't remember anything from Friday night. I tried a WILD last night. Weird results, but I got farther than ever. I did the usual stuff, laying there with my eyes closed, without moving. I felt my body getting heavier and I started seeing some HI. I started to feel pressure building on/in my head, and my sense of sound changed a little. The HI got pretty crazy, but nothing really formed. I started counting "1, I'm dreaming, 2, I'm dreaming...". At one point, it felt like my eyes started flexing, like they were trying to push through my eyelids. At the same time, My neck muscles became tense and I started to feel some discomfort. The HI I was seeing started to get some color; more specifically, there was a blotch of green on the right side of my vision. I figured it was a dream forming, so I started trying to focus on the texture of a wooden table, trying to make one form. I also tried to "step" into the dream or pull it to me. Nothing changed. The feelings went away for the most part, and they came back a few different times. Nothing. I thought that maybe I could be in a dream, so I tried pushing my tongue through my teeth or the top of my mouth, but the RC failed. I slowly opened my eyes a little, enough to see that I was still in my bedroom. I tried one last test and tried to breathe while holding my nose, but that failed too. I finally gave up and moved to my normal sleeping position. Trying to move my body was like trying to get out of quicksand, partly because my body was tired from working out, and partly because I was so close to SP. I checked my clock and I had been trying for a little over an hour... Didn't remember my dreams either.

[Burned up]

Tuesday, January 8 Semi-gay dream I don't remember the first half of the dream, but I know it resulted in my girlfriend and I breaking up. There was this kid, Travis, who I knew IRL, but in my dream he was gay. Apparently, since Josie and I broke up, I thought it was a good idea to go out with him I'm missing some memories, but the next thing I know we're at the movies with some people, including my girlfriend, but I'm there with Travis. It was even weird to me, because in my dream I wasn't gay. I was just going out with a gay guy. My dream self thought it didn't make sense either...Anyways, I look down the row of seats to where Josie is sitting and realize how much I love her and miss her. I look at Travis and say, "Come on, I need to talk to you." I take him back to some house I was in earlier in the dream, and tell him that I can't be with him anymore, that I love Josie. He gets upset and starts rambling on about how "that's not the way things work" and that I was breaking some kind of homosexual rules by doing this. I only half-listened as I played with some really cool device. It was like a sphere container on a table, and I could stick my hand through it. It was like a sphere of liquid that wouldn't get your hand wet. It was a container for some crazy bouncy balls. They were like super bouncy balls of all different shapes and sizes, and they glowed! It was sweet. Travis finished his rant and we went back to the movie theater to finish the movie (the new AVP), since this house was next door to the theater. Apparently, the theater exploded or something like that happened, because there were police and ambulances and everything there. The dream jumps to the hospital, where I find myself incredibly worried about Josie. I'm in a room where a few people are in beds, including her. I fall to my knees in despairing grief, and crawl to her bedside (more like a couch). I put my hands together to pray, aware of how ridiculous I must look. Just before I prayed I looked up and saw Josie open her eyes and look at me. She smiled, and I knew everything was going to be okay. I confessed to her how much I missed her and loved her more than anything, and probably admitted how stupid I was for going out with a gay guy Definitely one of the weirder dreams I've had. It seems that my dreams lately have become more realistic in setting, with the major oddities occurring in actions instead of objects. Hi Cut. I'm really interested in dreams like these - relationships that have different meanings in dreams than irl. Especially interesting to contrast the feelings you have for Travis and Josie (in the dream, that is). Different than irl because the DCs are your own constructions, although it's normal to try and fit real people into our idealised projections. Sounds like in your case you know inside you can be relaxed with a guy but perhaps this brings up questions of sexual politics? And you know you can be overcome with passion for a woman. Weird? Well, that's how it seems. But in my opinion, very revealing about your (people's?) inner workings. PS I get these sorts of dreams too.

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Wow, it's been a while. Taking a break I guess? Thanks for the interest, Burned Up, I've never had a dream like that one before lol. January 13-18 Only had one dream that I could remember after waking up, but it seemed VASTLY complicated. It was like the Aeneid all pressed into 5 minutes. I was too lazy to write it all down =/