The stupid dreams of Markus Maximus

**♥Mark** · 04-03-2006 08:16 AM

Warning: what you are about to read may confuse you and waste your time. Viewer discretion is advised.

Feel free to [comment on/ interpret/ make fun of] any of the entries herein. And don't forget to vote ( -- for Forde)!

**♥Mark** · 04-11-2006 04:50 AM

Whoa! I'm actually putting something in it! Bet you didn't see that one coming. My recall has been very poor over the past few days so here are a few from a while ago:

(The date format is DD/MM/YY)

03/04/06

I was on Dreamview forum in the dream and I read a post about someone who had a broken cell phone. Suddenly I hear this noise nearby (oh, and for some reason I'm outside in my back yard). Upon locating the noise it turns out to be the broken cell phone in the possession of the person who just made that post. There was some weirdness about an instant messenger type thing, except you wrote your message on paper or something. The only other detail I recall is saying something to the effect of "We're probably the only two LD'ers in this town"

??/04/06

I was at home and my sister was there. I'd made it a point to note her as a potential dreamsign because she was (at the time) in Germany. Nothing in my surroundings seemed to be strange, though I didn't actively search for things out of place, and such I was under the assumption that I was awake. Just to be sure, I did a finger-poke RC and it did not go though, I didn't give it a second though and went on my merry, illucid way... (although what I did after that point, if anything, I cannot recall)

??/04/06 (Same day as above entry)

From where my recall starts, two of my cousins and I are sitting in a basement. I think this basement was some strange cross between my house's basement and the basement of the hall at the place where we hold our family reunion every year. Either way, it was the three of us and we were talking. I believe the topic was religion, though I'm not entirely sure. One of them said something about making the lights all shut off, saying that as it were some kind of a proof the existence of god (I think). The lights did in fact shut off, but the other cousin said "It was the battery [that died, which is why the lights went out]" (I guess it was a battery powered basement..?). There was another part after this, but the only memory I take from it were the words "She's self assured". Whether they were spoken by me or someone else I cannot recall. After that, on of my other cousin's boyfriend asked to borrow some money (a loonie*?). In response I said "All I have is a toonie.*" The last memory I have of this dream is seeing a giant swinging pendulum. I remember looking at it and noticing that it was "low resolution". I also recall having the feeling that I was the one who built it.

* For you non-Canadians out there: loonies and toonies are what we call our one and two dollar coins, in that order.

That's all for now, kids. Tune in next episode for more missed chances at lucidity!!

**♥Mark** · 09-13-2006 10:43 AM

Holy werewolves in worcestershire sauce! It's been a while since I've posted in here, it seems. Commence cobweb dustery (word of the day).

Hello, and welcome to Late Night with Markus Maximus! Now here's your host, Markuuuussss Maaaaaaaximuuuusss!

---

*reads today's entry for his DJ.

What the fick..? I don't remember that...

Uh, I'll just write yesterday's instead.

I was skateboarding with Tony Hawk on -- ready for this? -- a huge train made of ice going down the road in the middle of the night. That's all I can recall for that one, save for some other part about a car being dropped into some water for a "water pressure test" (testing how long it took for the car to break from the pressure or something).

---

And there's one from a few weeks ago or so that stuck with me. I don't recall any of it except the last minute or two:

I was walking down this train track. There were short tunnels and where it broke from a tunnel there was chain link fence on either side. The area seemed somewhat industrial. I knew it was dangerous walking down there, so I was carrying a knife with me. I saw some people in the distance and got my knife ready just in case. I walked by them and continued on. Shortly thereafter I saw another group. This time I decided that maybe having the knife drawn was not such a good idea, as someone may be threatened and attack in defense.

Bad move it seems.

There were two of them, I think. I recognized the guy who stabbed me. He's a kid I'd seen around sometimes back in school. It happened too fast for me to react. He just walked up, reached around and stabbed me in the back of the neck. Right through the spinal cord. I feel to the ground. He just kept walking. Didn't kill me for any particular reason, I guess. He just did it. He didn't appear angry or hostile. No particular expression, in fact. Just killed me. Anyway, after laying there for a few moments an old friend of mine came up to me. He looked down on me (I was lying face up) and I tried to tell him to take the cell in my pocket and call 911. Well, he took the phone all right. He stole it, actually. Stole my phone and walked away. I seem to remember him smiling. Not a happy smile, but a "Thanks for the free phone, sucker!" kind of smile. I knew I was going to die. The wound hurt, but that wasn't my main concern. So as I lay there, my final feeling would be that of ultimate betrayal. Everything started to "wash out" and I woke up.

And I could still feel that knife stabbing me after I woke up.

**♥Mark** · 12-16-2006 10:12 AM

Telekinesis, singing ants and a trip to a video rental store with books instead of videos.

15/12/06

IN THE BEGINNING

Actually, I don't remember exactly how it began, so I'll start here.

It was a dark and stormy night... well, it was late at night... And I went out to the back yard for some reason. There was no snow and it wasn't cold, but I didn't notice. Somehow I ended up discovering that I could levitate. At first it was just a few feet off the ground, then I accidentally shot myself up really high. Somewhat frightening, but I managed not to die, so all was well. Back on the ground, I decided to try to apply my new found powers to other objects. I levitated two of these peach flavoured gel candy ring things over to me. After that, I tried getting the other three that were floating in the sky (I think I put them there, but I'm not sure). I was having trouble and couldn't get them.

At this time I heard knocking coming from the window of my parent's bedroom upstairs. At first I ignored it, but at the second time I knew it was my mom trying to see out the window or something. I'm not sure why, but I didn't want her to find out that I was out there. The logical thing to do was, of course, grab the nearby blanket, lay down on the ground and pretend I was sleeping. Now she had a flashlight and was scanning the yard. She passed over me and paused for a moment. I thought I had been discovered, but she continued sweeping and then shut the light off. Luckily I was laying next to something that was of a similar colour to the blanket, so I guess she didn't notice me there.

I got up and went to go inside. Mom was at the door and probably said something. We (mom, sister and me) decided this was a good time to go to Video Update (a video rental store). My cousin Ryan appeared. As we were just getting past our house, it was suggested that we stop to pick up the three candies that were floating in the air. I don't know how they knew, but it didn't strike me as odd at the time. Sure enough, the candies were on the ground above where they had been previously floating. I started eating the two from earlier, then considered eating the other three. "But we don't know how old they are" I said. Ryan took out his convenient hand-held carbon dating machine that he conveniently had on him and proceeded to date the candies. The three from the air were 17 days old. "Hmm, kinda old." I said. He then dated the piece of the other one that I had yet to finish eating. 20 days old.

Suddenly the candies no longer existed for the rest of the time and we got to Video Update which was, of course, filled with books instead of videos. I decided this would be a good time to try my powers on unsuspecting victims. I started by knocking over a few books near where people were standing. I failed a few times, but eventually I got pretty confidant in my powers. I was knocking books all over the place, opening them and stuff. The reactions were not that great. No one was really shocked as much as I had hoped they would be. On the way out, I decided to drop a book on someone. Don't remember what happened.

Now we were walking home. Some lady was out in front of her house saying things that sounded like she was suggesting that I should take a shortcut through her house, but I realized that wasn't at all what she was saying before I went into her house. How embarrassing that would have been. Also, I think she had pseudoscorpions on her doorstep.

As I was walking down the street (it was just me now. The others vanished) thinking about the whole telekinesis deal, I thought "Now, wait a second... This isn't possible. This can't be real, I must be dreaming." I looked around and noticed just how real everything looked. I proceeded to do the finger poke, but I felt pretty solid, so I kept on keepin' on.

So instead, I cut through someone's rather forest-like lawn. I happened across a line of ants led by a rather strange insect. It was fairly large and had a long "nose" and a "tail". It stiffened its nose and tail to point the direction of marching to his line of ants. They heeded his advance command and followed it, complete with singing and all. They had a snare drum, too, I think but no actual drum was present. Just the sound. Oh, and when I say "sing" it's more like humming. They were high pitched and somewhat screechy... The kinda sounded like Pikmin from the game of the same name. They were pretty good and I hummed along. I guess I knew their song. It was a little high for me, though. The last thing I remember was taking note of how unusual it was for an animal to actually "sing" in a structured song with a consistent tempo.