Thread: freak's Dream Journal

Dream 28 (July 13, 2008)

I’ve been plagued with very intense dreams lately, ranging from: vivid and horrifying nightmares, prophetic visions, lucidity (on occasion), and mild episodes of deja vu. This one was no different, but it seems (I hope) to be one showing me the path to healing. I have a few images I made on MS Paint, so I can better describe to you what some of the building layouts looked like. Currently, my girlfriend and I aren’t in good relations and on the verge of a break up. I’m trying to work things out with her, and an hour before writing this dream, we made a step forward to fixing what’s broken. Her name is Charlotte, but I call her Foxi. Anyway… now for the dream.

I was with my girlfriend’s mom, and I was also at her house, in her kitchen. Charlotte’s mom was eating bread and wiping her mouth with tissue--non-stop. She went through four boxes of tissue. (What is with me and the number four?) I have completely forgot what it was she was saying to me, and it’s frustrating to me because it might have been important. After this, everything goes black for a moment.

When I started to recall again, I was in a large, black van that pulled up to the entrance of my High School. The entrance was almost the same, except its layout. I got out of the van, and I was followed by: my parents, my grandfather, my dad’s cousin and his wife and baby child (he only has one child, yet she’s a teenage, not a baby), and my girlfriend. Seeing my girlfriend step out was surprising to me, and I tried not to pay too much attention to her. My father’s cousin and his wife were walking around with the baby and speaking Spanish. I told my girlfriend that they don’t know English, but she should have already knew this, and she didn’t even turn her head to listen to me. I walked over to my grandfather, and he asked "Is this the girl?" and I replied back with a simple "Yeah".

Everything I said to my granddad was in Spanish, but I’m going to write down the translated phrases.

"She’s beautiful, isn’t she?" I asked him.

"I didn’t think she was a tower," he said. What I think he meant by this is that he didn’t expect her to be that tall. My girlfriend is 5’10", and I’m 6’.

"She’s beautiful, isn’t she?" I repeated, ignoring his comment. I’m not too sure what his answer was, or if he even gave me an answer.

My grandfather and I moved on with the others after the exchange and entered my high school. The school entrance looked like an airport, and it had classrooms. When I entered, I was looking for my girlfriend and wondering why she wouldn’t walk with me. I saw her walking with my mom, but they weren’t talking to each other and they had their backs turned to me. There was a crowd of people, and I tried my hardest to get to her but I was getting blocked off by the crowd. I followed her through many zigzagging and repeating hallways… until her and my family just disappeared.

"This must be a dream," I said to myself. I stood for a few moments, then turned the corner to see the same repeating layout on this side of the school, too. This time, though, I looked into the rooms and I could see kids jumping up from the seats with joy. As I passed each class, the students were a year older than the next… but they stopped aging at 15. This age is significant to me because I started to lose friends, popularity, and saying "No" to every girl that asked me out at my high school. That’s when I started to know I was in a dream; however, I’m not exactly sure if I became lucid or not. My guess is that I was close but didn’t reach it, so it’s just a "regular dream".

Part: 2

I’m not going to keep you in any suspense or attempt to add drama to this part, so I’m going to say it right now: I thought I was awake, but I wasn’t--I was still dreaming. I’m not sure if that’s lucidity or sleep paralysis, but I do know that I had absolutely no control of my dream self.

I’m now in my room, but it was bigger than what it really is. I was sitting at my desk, in the dark with the only light source being my laptop monitor. I was very sad, but not in tears like I have been for the past few days. I don’t recall what I was typing, but I do know I was talking to someone on MSN, most likely about the current state of my relationship. I started to feel chills and fear, like I usually do when I sit in the dark early in the morning like that. I looked at the clock on my nightstand and saw that it was 3 AM, and I remembered what my friend told me: "Between 3 and 4 AM Satan is out and at his strongest." I can’t tell you the story behind his belief, so I’m not going to bother trying to explain it. I jumped on my bed and reached over to turn on my lamp--but no light came from it. I heard a voice call to me and say: "Light is what brightens our world… it also brightens *your* world." I tried to turn my overhead fan light on, but no luck. I tried both my fan and lamp light, repeatedly… but still no light would shine. I panicked, and I could feel something evil surround me. I could feel it staring me down… taunting me. It wasn’t a demon or creature; it wasn’t even an invisible presence: it was the manifestation of my own fear, despair, and hopelessness, born into reality. I sat in a futile position, watching the negative energy swirl around me, and I began to ask myself a few questions:

Am I to live in a dark world forever?
Am I doomed to suffer all my life?
Will I ever see the light?
What am I to do?

Suddenly, my TV screen started to glow, faintly, and my bedroom door opened, slightly. I could see light pouring in from the crack, slowly, from the outside, but I wasn’t allowed to open the door all the way or get out of the room. I was blocked and being attacked--not by creatures, but by negative energy itself. I was panicking but somehow I stood up, rejuvenated with hope and strength; it’s source unknown to me. I tried to turn the lights on again, but they still didn’t turn on; however, for some reason, I knew they would eventually. I was knocked to the ground, now, and I was being held by the dark energy but even though I was afraid, I used the strength I had to drag myself across the floor. I was crawling to the bathroom because the door was open, yet it was dark. When I got there, I saw a large orb of energy levitating up and down in front of me, humming with power and distorting everything behind it when I looked through it. I didn’t know what sort of energy it was, but I felt safe now. I reached out to touch it, and as soon as I did, I found myself lying in bed, awake and confused.

For several minutes I was disoriented--unsure if I was still dreaming or not--and once I got up, I touched everything around me to give myself a reality check. Was this a sign, a positive sign of good things to come? Are things slowly starting to get better for me? Is the light finally going to shine? Is my time of darkness finally coming to end? The future is uncertain, and I can only hope the answer to all those questions is "Yes", but I’m not out of the dark room just yet.

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