Thread: Mezzanine's DJ

Really Long Dream

So I finally remember something. After a week of fail. It started with me at work folding clothes and rearranging hoodies... but I've been playing Bejeweled a lot on facebook, so it felt like playing Bejeweled with the hoodies. It was really strange. Then someone told me to pick out a hoodie that I could have for free. I don't know what the reason was, but this part was kind of fuzzy. Then I'm on my way to a study abroad to Venezuela with a guy from my Spanish class, David. We arrive in Venezuela and I'm led to the room where we'll all be staying. There are beds for like ten people in one room (and I can remember having a similar dream before with so many beds in one place like a huge slumber party). Then we all go to dinner. This is fuzzy. Then I'm walking around in a neighborhood and I see through the window of this one house that used to be my friend Shelley's house. I hear someone saying that they don't know how to work their stereo equipment. I go up to the door and a woman answers. It's like a mansion house now. It's so awesome on the inside, just like... Crate and Barrel-ish. So I sit at the big dining room table with this woman and her girlfriend. The girlfriend asked me if I prefered Rodrigo Y Gabriela or some other music group. This part of the conversation was in Spanish. I said of course Rodrigo Y Gabriela, I can't believe you know that group! I thought I was the only one who liked them!!! So we talked about music for a while and then I hear The Chemical Brothers' "Shake Break Bounce" come on in the background. Then I look around the table and there are like four more girls there. I just remember being super happy that I've met some really cool people who don't have any drama going on in their lives and seem really intelligent and pleasant. Like... the perfect friends. Then the scene changes and we're oceanfront at a restaurant. Someone comes up and dismisses everyone. Then my friend Danielle's with me and we're in a hotel looking for these girls. We're walking down all these hallways and we can't find what room they're in. She's knocking on doors, and then I see in like a maid's room one of the girls come out and start vacuuming the hallway. I ask her when we can hang out again and she doesn't hear me, so I get up to her ear and ask her again and she says whenever I want to. So I said, great, how about 4 o'clock tomorrow? Then I woke up. That would be really sweet if I had part 2 of this dream tomorrow at 4am.

It's Been A Few Days

#1 nothing big. I was in the library at a school and I had to go to the bathroom in the middle of the library in front of the librarian.

#2 I was at a dinner party with GW Bush. He was acting a fool. I said I wish I had a camera. Then he says he wants to take my picture. He does with a strange contraption that went over my head. When I came out, everything was red and green.

#3 I was in a house that was being remodeled. A mansion. I was in the attic and we were building stairs. And more rooms. Then I went looking for something and found the maid's room. In her closet were multiple copies of the same set of pjs.

#4 I was at the beach and there was a hurricane. The sand was high like snow drifts. There were dead people in the sand. Then I went into my beach house and came back out the front door. There was a guy there. He told me his name was Xander... he actually whispered it into my ear. I told him, "Don't be surprised if someone inside says that's their cat's name." Then I think I took him upstairs... and I remember trying to go to the bathroom again.

Sigh. Me and the bathroom. What to do? And it's funny, because Xander is Andrea's sister's cat's name.

The Waterhorse-ish

I was being led downstairs to a basement by a child who wanted to show me something. He (or she) lifted up a couch cushion to reveal a basin of water and a small creature. It was slimy to the touch, but very friendly, like, it was ok to touch it. It reminded me of the way a puppy acts, like it wanted attention. So I petted it and I remember feeling very attached to it. Then someone was coming and I had to explain to it that we had to put it away and it was very sad when we coverd it back up.

Dry Skin

I was in the bathroom like I had just gotten out of the shower, and I was naked looking at myself in the mirror. My skin on my right shoulder was cakey like dried mud and when I touched it, it just fell to the floor in a pile. Just like chips and pieces. But it wasn't like you could see like veins and muscle underneath, at least it didn't feel like it... I didn't go back and look in the mirror for confirmation. I ran downstairs to tell someone, all freaked out.

(I *have* had dry skin lately! But this is kind of strange!)

Forensics

I walked into a classroom and asked "Is this forensics?" And my teacher Mrs. Miller was there and Ms. Dixon, both of whom were forensics coaches. There was a whole classroom full of people and Ms. Dixon said that in order to stay, I had to sing a song. I think I made one up and ten a guy on the other side of the classroom started singing. Then we had to take a test. The overhead projector was on and Mrs. Miller handed me a scantron with my name bubbled in. But it was only a big block with the alphabet in it and the letters that make up my name were bubbled in. I looked at it funny because I was thinking... I have 2 R's in my name... how is that going to show up on the test results? Anyway, the test wasn't multiple choice, we had to write sentences. But I didn't know that time was up and I was still finishing. She had told everyone to pass their paper to the person in front, but the person behind me didn't even hand me a paper. He said that he wasn't there last week so he couldn't take the quiz. I think Mrs. Miller was mad at me, so she went out of the classroom and came back with a pair of sunglasses for me. I had to wear them, but the students around me thought I looked good in them, so it was no big deal... everyone else was wearing sunglasses anyway. But it made it difficult for me to see and I wanted to take them off while we were inside.

(It's weird that I've had two nights of dreams where my vision is affected... last night before I went to bed when I took out my contacts, I *did* think to myself... I wonder if your vision affects your vision in your dreams...)

PacSun

I'm somewhere in the annals of the mall, behind all the stores where they get their shipments. There are people walking around in the halls, and I follow one othe them. Then I see my friend Audrey going through a box of shipment in a back room somewhere. She looks at me and I ask what she's doing. She holds up some twizzlers or some red vines and says that the new thing to do body piercing with is candy. This doesn't faze me at all. Aparantley, this makes perfect sense. So I go into the front of the store to see my old manager friend from PacSun, Jen, changing a light fixture. She's explaing everything to me about what track number it's on and the wattage and everything, but I'm trying to explain to her that I know this stuff, I've changed that light before myself, duh, I used to work there. But she's ignoring me.

Next thing I know, I'm being chased out of the store, and when I get outside the store, it turns into a school. It's a campus style school, like my gradeschool and highschool, and I'm running down the side of one building, and I see an open door with a class going on inside. I run in and in the corner, see a door, but there's a student in a desk in front of it. I tell them to let me go in the door to hide me. I don't remember anything after that.

Stealing Sunglasses in the Fireworks Store

I'm at a store and on the walls displayed are fireworks for sale. Everything is well organized according to the type of firework it is... smoke bombs, bottle rockets, fountains, etc. I'm with someone who is particularly interested in smoke bombs, then I try to suggest to them that we get some M80's. I bring some things up to the register, and the price ended up being outrageous. I got mad and said they could keep it and on my way to the door, I see a display of sunglasses. They're Oakleys. I see a pair I like and I just take it like a klepto. I walk out the door, then start running to a car full of people. In the backseat is my friend, Melissa, and we're being driven by people I don't know. I put the sunglasses on and realize the left lens is totally busted. I'm pissed.

Bow Hunting

I'm in an SUV with some people and we jump out in a warehouse. There are aisles and aisles of weapons. The ones we're interested in are the crossbows. Everyone chooses a weapon and we walk out into an area of wilderness with a huge stream that we have to cross to get to the land on the other side. A woman starts wading through in front of me. Somehow we manage to get to the other side and we're standing around with our weapons in our hands. Someone points out that Bette Midler is there. Then this guy walks up to this other guy with like a handgun sized crossbow and puts it up to his chest and shoots him directly in the upperleft part of his chest. The guy is stunned for a moment then they agreed that that's exactly how it should have gone down and they're both pleased.

Shopping

I'm with Andrea and we're in the men's clothing department looking for some shorts for me. It looks like the clothes have been moved around to make room for new collections. We're in a department store like a Dillard's or something. For some reason I'm looking at shorts that are size 50" waist. At least, that's what the label says. They look like girl's shorts to me, though, because they are like mid thigh in length. I pick a pair up to try on and Andrea has done the same. We walk to the fitting rooms and she goes into one right next to me. I see underneath the divider that she's sitting on a toilet! I'm so jealous that she has a toilet in her fitting room. I see what appears to be a door through which I can get into her room. But when I open the door, there's just a mirror behind it.

Floating

I don't remember much, but I'm on a raft of some sort floating down a river with other people on the raft with me. On either side of the river are weeds and cattails and other assorted nasty stuff. I am not really on the raft, but halfway on it... I'm holding onto the raft and my legs are dangling underneath it. We start drifting over to the weedy area and I'm freaking out because I don't want the weeds and nasty stuff on my legs.

Tennis Balls and Biking

Again, I don't remember a whole lot, but I remember picking up a couple of tennis balls from a barrel of toys and stuff on the side of someone's house. I grab a tennis racket, too. Then I'm on a bike and I feel like I'm racing someone, but we are going in opposite directions to end up in the same place... like to see which route is shortest.

Wedding

I'm with my mom in what feels like a restaurant or bar somewhere and I'm with this guy from middle and high school, Lucas Householder. She says that we can go anywhere we want to get our wedding pictures taken. I tell her I want to go to Vegas. Next thing I know, I'm in a wedding dress standing in a room in what feels like a hotel getting ready to enter the room where the portraits will be taken. Lucas shows up in pyjamas. I'm pissed. I run to the emergency exit door and go into a stairwell. People are chasing me, but I get to the nest level down and it's more people getting their wedding pictures taken, I go through two more floors like this, then I exit through a door that was being guarded by an older gentleman.

When I get outside, I'm in an area that is a decorative water effect that is as big as about half a football field. There are low steps leading down to the middle of a pond and on the steps in the shallow part are a couple of monkeys that are taunting the crowd of people that are sunbathing and aren't really paying attention to the monkeys. It's a pretty bizarre scene. I find a handrail and proceed up the steps away from the water and find Andrea at the top of them. I tell her, "Lucas would have made the perfect husband, but there is just one problem with that, he's not a girl, and he's not you." It was very drama-movie-ish. Then my mom comes out of nowhere and asks me why I haven't called a cab yet.

Holograms

I just remember explaining to a kid how holograms work. I'm getting very detailed in my explanation and I remember waking up feeling like everything made so much sense.

Graveyard

I get the feeling that I'm playing a game of some sort, but I'm in a graveyard. The thing is, it's set up like the online game I'm playing, Kingdoms of Camelot. I found a piece of paper in a grave area and it led me to another one. Then I see what I believe is my landlord and high school classmate Kelly's mom coming down a walkway with gifts. She's explaining to the woman behind her that they are for her daughter who had passed away on April 4th (which, coincidently, is the day my friend David died ina car accident). They walk to an excavated grave site and proceed to throw the gifts into the hole in the ground. I am thinking, how long will this go on for? Are they going to come every year and bury gifts? What are they going to do when the hole gets full?

That's Discrimination!

I'm somewhere trying to get into a car with a group of three other girls. One who reminded me of a blonde actress says to me that she's from "Sociteyville." I get into the back seat, someone else gets into the passenger front and the girl from Societyville gets in the back seat next to me, but the girl in the front repeatedly closes the door onto the girl from Societyville's leg!! I freak out on the girl closing the door and tell her that just because she's from somewhere different doesn't mean that you can act that way towards her!!! That's discrimination!!!

Busted Pot Heads

I'm somewhere like a carnival or fair and I'm in one of those big character suits. But I'm like some porn star or something because I keep hitting on people and coming onto them. I can remember before being at the carnival someone telling me to look out for the cops. Out of the corner of my eye, I see across the way some cops talking to some people that live in like one bedroom apartments nearby. It looks like they used to be hotel rooms. I can see right through the doors into the building.

I walk around back and tell one of the two cops that I'm doing a documentary on drug busts and can I come in? He says that's fine and then there are people with me doing a documentary. I don't know if I'm still in the character suit, I don't feel like I am. I have a camera and I'm trying to take a picture of this fish tank that's inside that has a bong in it as part of the filtration system. Everyone doing the documentary is talking about how these people sure don't have their priorities in order... thousands of dollars worth of fish tanks and living in a one room apartment. My camera won't work, it's taking too long from the time I press the button to actually take the picture.

Halfway House

I am walking around a busy commercial row and I see inside this window what appears to be a furniture store. I go in and find that it's a halfway house and everyone staying there is just a wreck. I stay the night. I wake up and someone is telling me that Ani DiFranco (folk-singer whose concert I'm going to in March) had stayed the night there. I look around and remark on how nice the place is for what it is.

I start to pack my things up and Katy Tompkins (an ex-girlfriend of a friend) comes up and picks up a five dollar bill that I had put on the bed and tries to take it. I tell her to give it back and she does. Then I start putting stuff in my backpack again and she hides a ten dollar bill in a reciept and tries to take that, too!! I told her to knock it off!! Then I start looking for my keys to get out of there and start looking for my car. I have keys, but they're not for *my* car. I walk onto the street and start hitting the button to make the door lock sound. I find my car and it's a Jeep. I'm mad because someone parallel parked right on my bumper. I take out my camera and try to take a picture, but it doesn't work. I'm trying to get a picture of the license plate of the asshole that boxed me in. Camera fail.

Castle

I'm on vacation somewhere and I'm trying to take pictures outside my window. It's so dark that I can't see anything, but the camera is taking pictures. I go to show someone the pictures I took and they're really awesome pictures of an old Gothic style castle. Then I hear someone say that they're going ona Sweet cruise and that I should ask Andrea if she wants to go with us.

Smalls is my Cat

I'm in a gang. I'm in the ocean trying to do a hit and drown someone. I am successful. I go back to our "hideout" and there's this other group of girls. The boss of the girl gang is introducing herself to everyone as "Kat." I shake her hand, but I don't think she was impressed. Later my boss asks me about her and I, said, "who, Kat?" and she says, "No, Smalls." And I look at her puzzled and say, "no, her name was Kat, she said so, Smalls is my *cat's* name..."

Lucid Andrea, Wake up!

I just remember checking out this little cottage in the woods a la Hansel and Gretel... I went inside and I had a feeling that someone was looking for me. I realized that I was dreaming and didn't have to worry about who was looking for me. I turned the doorknob to let myself out of the house, thus achieving one of my goals , and looked for Andrea. I found her in a closet on the back of the house somewhere and shook her and told her something stupid like OMG I'm dreaming and I know you're in bed beside me, but here you are, isn't that awesome?!?! And she didn't really care, cuz it was dream her, not real her. Then I woke up.

Fire Under the Deck and Playboys

I'm at my old house with a deck on the back. It's like autumn and I guess I'm having a party because people are out back smoking and drinking. Someone lights a match and it falls between the slats on the deck and I can see that a fire has started with all the dead leaves under the deck. Everyone freaks out and runs away. I run to get the hose and spray down the leaves. Upon doing so, I notice that there's an open door under the house. I spray water in there, too, for whatever reason. Then Neil Patrick Harris comes to help me with some paper towels to soak up all the water. He goes into the crawlspace under the deck and I can hear him freaking out that something totally awesome is in that room. I go in to find that it's my dad's hideout and there are porn magazines everywhere. NPH has spread them out all over the wet floor. I am now freaking out because the Playboys are like the first Playboys ever and I run with the paper towels to start drying them off because they're in a huge puddle. I tell NPH are you nuts? This is issue #4!!!! I leave the little room to find that my dad has come under the deck to look for me. I tell him there was a fire and we had to spray everything down. I can't remember if he went into his little room or not.

Skull Underwear

I'm at my school showing my mom around. We're outside going from building to building and I'm telling her, this is Oliver Hall where I have all my education classes, this is the Temple Building where I had a couple of Spanish classes, etc. Then we go into the commons, which isn't anything like the real student commons at VCU. It's like a maze. We walk in and there are people in cubicles everywhere. I feel like I had something to do there, and I walk up to an information desk that has tons of people working there, not just the usual two. There are tons of pamphlets and drop slots for comment cards. I have my library book with me and I drop it into the book return slot. I see my mom walk across the aisle and go into the optometrist.

I figure she'll be in there a while, so I go into the bathroom. Then four kids follow me in there! A boy and three girls. The one girl goes immediately to the toilet and starts freaking out. She says she's started her period and somehow I realize that this is the first time she's ever gotten her period. Somehow she gets a tampon and handles the situation. Then one of them asks me if I have or want a cigarette. I tell them I haven't smoked in two years. Then one of them gives me an Ecstacy cigarette.

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I start smoking it and although in real life it's not at all like doing real ecstacy, I start feeling really relaxed and pretty awesome. This doesn't last long, though, because we can't hang out in the bathroom all day, right?

We leave the bathroom and I'm now in a mall. There are cops everywhere. It feels like it's late at night. Everyone in the crowd is singing a part in a musical. What musical, I don't know. I walk up to a place in the food court which is kind of like a place in my student commons, Alpine Bagel, that sells coffee drinks and... bagels. I order a cafe mocha and watch the woman make it. The kid behind me in line tells a guy behind the counter that he put his order in for a t-shirt and it should be in now. The guy hands the kid a brown paper bag. I get my drink and when I'm paying for it, a girl behind the counter give me a pair of underwear. They're awesome: the front is dark gray and black and has white skulls on it and the back is red flames. Then she hands me another pair just like it and I go on my way.

I go to find my car in the parking lot and I'm lost. I walk almost all the way around the mall looking for it, pressing the button to lock the car and make it honk. As I'm walking, I end up in a parking deck and I walk to a stairwell. I'm still listening for my car to honk and I finally hear it. But in order to get to the next level down, I have to get through this chain link fence. I bend the fence down from the top almost exactly in half and go through the opening, then put it back to normal. I walk to where I heard the honk and it's a non-parking space. It's an access lane for a handicapped spot. I'm so mad because I got my car towed!!! But I heard it honk, WTF? So I walk a little further and end up next to this silver mustang with a strange vanity plate on it. I can't remember what it said, but it started with "P" and was like five or six letters long. I was contemplating whether I should take this car or not when my mom drove up and I asked her where my car was. She said she didn't know, and then I woke up.

Cyclops

I feel like this was a false awakening. I get up to go to the bathroom and remember that I don't have my contacts in. I ask Andrea where my glasses are as I go into the bathroom. She's asleep and I get no response. I look in the mirror and instead of my own two normal eyes, I just have one in the middle of my forehead. I kind of stare for a minute not believing what I'm seeing. I don't remember what happened after that.

Charlie

I'm in a store. No idea why I'm there, like working or shopping. This guy comes up to me. He asks me if I remember him, tells me that I wore a certain outfit he really liked because he asked me to. Then he asks me if I remember that he had told me that he would get me a pull up bar for my room. Then it's like a light goes on. I totally remember, and he gives me a package. I tell him, your name's Charlie, right? And he's totally thrilled that I remember him.

Makin' out with Mary

I'm in a hotel room with some people. All of a sudden, we need to pack up and leave. I'm looking around and the room's a mess. Then I look back to where my suitcase was and I see that it's all been packed. Upon closer inspection, I see two cell phones that I'm trying to sell on eBay. Oh, just a moment of realization there, almost lucid, but no. I turn around, and there's Mary J. Blige laying on the bed.

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So what do I do? Of course I jump up onto the bed and start making out with her. Like, really intense, I remember she was a great kisser. She had awesome lips. I'm grabbing her by the back of her head, saying, "Oh, Mary!" Then... scene change!

We must have packed our bags to go on a trip. But now my family's with me instead of Mary and an old Canadian friend, Doug. We're going through customs. I tell my dad not to leave his bag unattended because "you know what happened last time!" (No idea what that was about!) So as we get through "customs" which was more like the gift shop you go through after you get off a roller coaster... it turns into a beach. I'm in the water swimming to the shore and I see my sister and Doug bring these rafts over to me. Then I see that to my right it's like the beach ended and was just a wall. Of sand. Like it was a pool that was made to look like a beach. It was strange.

Angela & Magazines

I remember being in a van, cruising an apartment complex. Then the van stops and some guy jumps out. He walks up to a dude to try to sell him a magazine. I tell him to wait because we don't even have padcases. He's just got receipts and a pen. (I've had dreams like this before, with being unprepared to sell mags with just receipts.) Well, dude is spieling other dude and we end up walking back to his apartment and going inside. Lying on a couch inside is my boss from work, Angela. The dude I was with was saying something about how she should buy a magazine and she says, "or I could just tell you to get the hell outta my house!" Then she looks at me and is like, "Robyn?" And I'm like, "yeah, so you said you wanted which two subscriptions?" And I told her I knew it was her (?) because 1.) her boyfriend's name is Aaron, and I listed off like four other ways I knew it was her. One of which was that she told us to get the hell outta her house. The dream kinda fades from there.

My Buddy

I'm somewhere in a theater with a stage. I'm in the audience, watching what appears to be a drag king show. There's a girl on stage who is obviously dressed up like a guy, but it's kind of sexy, not your usual butch women trying to be guys. Then out of nowhere I'm on the stage. I'm wearing either a codpiece or a strap-on dildo, I can't really tell because I don't look down. Jenn Roe's song My Buddy is playing in the background. I think my part in the show is to stand there and look sexy and be objectified. I'm ok with that...! Very shortly thereafter I'm backstage and I see my friend from a while ago who I've since lost touch with, Lissa. And the teacher whose classes I'm interning with. Lissa offers me some quaaludes and my teacher has a bag of weed.

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I think I take like 6 quaaludes and pass out. When I come to, it's like 5 in the morning and my first thought is "oh shit, Andrea's going to be so pissed!" And Lissa looks at me and I'm really out of it, so I say I'm going to just start walking home. Then my teacher grabs some car keys and we end up going to a gas station in her car. Then we're driving a gold cart through what feels like an airport, but there is a Spanish class going on. My teacher gets up and gives a lesson then in Spanish, asks me if I want to borrow her sunglasses. I tell her, in Spanish, no thanks, I have my own. Fade out.

Strange Library

I took a nap yesterday and dreamed that I was in the library at my old high school, which is the one that I'm interning at twice a week currently. It's set up a little differently, as things in dreams often are... I walk in and there's an aisle that you have to walk down to get to the books. To the right are aisles of books floor to ceiling. As I walk to my left, I see that same Spanish teacher from the last night's dream. She's teaching a class in the library and as class ends, she comes up to me and we discuss going somewhere. I turn to leave with her following me, but in the aisle to get out of the library are all these cords for electronic equipment like computers and televisions and stuff. I have to be very careful and limbo under some cords and tiptoe around some others... fade out.

In the Office

Feels like a false awakening... I'm in the office at my house sitting in front of the computer... masturbating. I don't think I've ever masturbated in a dream before. I remember thinking, "I hope Andrea doesn't come upstairs and catch me," even though if she did, she'd just think it was hot and jump in on the action.

Topless with Mark

I'm in my old neighborhood in Illinois. I don't remember what led up to this, but I'm in a little paddleboat in the lake with my friend Mark. He's fully clothed and I'm wearing shorts and no top. This doesn't concern me. It's dark. Mark starts to tease me that he's going to tip me out of the boat and into the lake. We're over by the side of the lake, so I reach for the bank and pull myself out of the boat and onto the grass. The lake is in the middle of the neighborhood, with the backs of houses all around it. In the backyard of on of the houses where I got out of the boat are some people hanging out by the side of their pool. Since I'm topless, I grab one of their towels and wrap it around myself. Now it's light out and these people are tanning. One of the girls asks me to take off my towel because she wants to see my tan. I take the towel and wrap it around my neck so that my breasts are covered. I guess this wasn't quite what the girl had in mind because she looked really disappointed.

Strange Slot Machine

I'm in a casino, but it feels more like a video game arcade. I remember seeing skee-ball and slot machines and other arcade games. I guess I'm looking around trying to get my bearings and I see a slot machine that is malfunctioning. It is spitting out coins that are a mixture of quarters and tokens. No one's looking... no one's even around, I'm by myself... so I start scooping up all the coins. I'm putting them into my pockets and when my pockets are full, I start to look around for a game to play. I find a slot machine that has a Press Your Luck theme.

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It was like that except it had three reels and it was going pretty slowly. A guy walks up behind me to watch what I'm doing and he touches his finger to the screen. I tell him "no, this isn't a touch-screen, it's old school... look at this paper taped to the side with the pay table!" He walks away. I win and paper money comes out of the machine like an ATM. It was like $5 or $6.

So I walk to another machine and I see that you put the coins into it like an arcade game. I put in my coins and there are reels spinning, but instead of winning anything, a movie clip plays, or maybe a music video, I can't tell. I was just frustrated that it took so long to find out if I won or not. This happened a few times, then I look down and see a $50 bill come out and some other various denominations. Ok, I guess it was worth the wait?

Airport & Jackets

All of a sudden, I'm in a mall, looking for... something. It feels like I'm in a race. I'm wearing rollerblades and I have a rolling suitcase. I start skating as fast as I can following some friends of mine. There are a lot of people in this race, but I don't know if they're wearing rollerblades, too, because I never look down at their feet. So I have this suitcase and I'm pulling it behind me when I come up to this flight of stairs. I grind down the handrail with the suitcase behind me, also on the rail. I dismount and continue following my friends who are ahead of me... they reach a fork and I don't see whether they go left or right. I go right and reach a hill. It's a really steep hill that's hard to get up, so I turn my skates sideways and do a strange crabwalk up the hill, still toting my suitcase. I reach the end of the mall and see some glass doors to go out of. I see my friends, but I don't see Andrea... cuz all of a sudden I'm looking for her? I ask them where she is because our flight is leaving soon... which could explain why I was in such a hurry.

They don't know where she is, so I continue looking for her. I see her to my right at a leather store. She's trying on jackets. So I forget all about the flight we're supposed to take and start trying on jackets... seems like a good idea, why not? Fade out.

Crazy 7-11

So I'm in the 7-11 of a gas station in Carytown with my mom. She's pushing around a cart full of liquor like Captain Morgan's and some vodka. (7-11's do not sell liquor.) She asks me to ask the guy behind the counter what's the lowest temperature that it can be stored at. I told her it's alcohol and you can stick it in the freezer. I told her to be careful with putting beer in the freezer, though, especially in cans. Then there are three frat boys that come up to the counter where I'm standing. I ask the guy behind the counter if I can get a couple of scratch tickets. He pulls one out and it's a $10 one, but I tell him I just want a $5 one. I pay for my ticket and leave. The frat boys come out and start harassing me. I get mad at them and run over to their car and jump on the hood and rip off one of the wiper blades. This obviously pisses them off. So one of them, which turns out to be my friend Matt Tacey, gets out a little NERF crossbow and starts shooting foam arrows at me. As this is all happening, I'm standing by my car and in the parking spot diagonal to me is parked a big Chevy truck. Out of nowhere, a little Yaris-looking car comes up behind the truck and starts ramming into it repeatedly. Everyone stops what they're doing and watches this happen. We could see the damage being done to this truck, like the left taillight was being knocked out and paint was coming off and the bumper was getting destroyed. Eventually the crazy woman in the Yaris pushes the truck out of the parking spot and it goes sailing out in the direction of the gas pumps and blows up when it hits them. Fade out.

Happy Elephant

I was on an archaeological dig or something and all I remember is looking over my shoulder to see a baby elephant playing in the mud. It was almost cartoon like. It was the happiest elephant I've ever seen.

Crazy iPod Man

I'm in the backyard of my friend Shelley's house where we used to swim in the summertime when we were in high school. This man peeks over the top of the fence and is trying to get me to sell him my iPod for $50. I keep telling him no. Them he throws TI-82 calculators over the fence like they were hand grenades. They're shrink-wrapped in plastic with Archie comic books. I just look at them and think... great, I can put these on eBay!

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Adam Lambert

So I was in my bedroom on my bed... watching some porn. Which is totally weird since I don't have a tv in my room and I don't watch porn! I turn off the porn and realize that it's 1:30 and I'm really late to get to my internship. I'm looking around my room for something to wear and I see a bathing suit top that I can use for a bra because all of mine are in the washing machine. Except the bikini top is too small. I am putting it on and I turn around to face my bed and Adam Lambert from American Idol is lying there. He tells me that I look really great in my bikini top. I tell him, well, these jeans that I'm getting ready to put on are not so flattering, because they're guys jeans, and all my jeans are in the wash. (I must have a huge washing machine because it seems like everything's in the wash.) I tell him there's some porn in the VCR (VCR!!!) and he can watch it if he likes.

I leave and I'm at school. There's a sign in the window that says that Real World tryouts are at 7pm tonight. I'm confused because I don't know if that means that anyone is at school or not because I don't see anyone walking around. Then I walk into the building and see a couple of the kids in the classes I'm interning with sitting at a table. They are begging me to teach them how to smoke a cigarette. I pull a pack out of my pocket and proceed to light one up. I see that they have been trying to light the wrong end or have made the cigarette so wet that it won't light at all. I tell them that we're going to get in trouble smoking inside the school and I start looking around for security cameras. I run outside and there are faculty walking around but they don't seem to see me.

I run to my car as some other kid is getting into it to get a book out for me. I tell him thanks and I get another pack of cigs out of the glove box. I walk over to one of the kids that was inside the school and tell him to put a cigarette in his mouth and I'll light it for him. So he does, and I light it. He then sucks the cigarette into his mouth! He gets this look on his face because it's burning him. I tell him no wonder you're having cigarette fail. You are just not cut out for this!

Tegan and Sara

I'm in my apartment making dinner: some steak in a frying pan with some sort of Cajun or Mexican marinade. I pick up a walkie talkie and put it up to my ear like it's a phone. It's Tegan and Sara and they're asking my advice on whether or not to raise the price of their new album, Sainthood. I tell them, "you get what you pay for, and you are totally worth it! You rock your shows and you totally slammed on your last album!" They ask how much to raise it to and I say, "that's a good question... $14, but no more than $14.50." I then say, while looking out my window and down the street as if they were on their way over, "are you in Richmond? you know these walkie talkies don't have very good range!" They reply, "we could be in Australia for all you know!!" I then go on to tell them how awesome they are, but don't hear a response, only static. I check to see if my walkie talkie is working, but someone knocks on the door and interrupts me. It's Brittney and Illyah and I let them in as I start to wake up.

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