I could not sleep at 3:00 in the mornng because shit like this is running trhough my mind. So if it seems like rambling it is!!

Memmory. What really is it? A memory consists of that of your actions of THAT memory. Then it is gone. If it is here now it is only here now.
With no knowledge of a memory it has a subjective existance. It is just you and your mind. Nothing to show for it, nothing to account for.
So what is crazy or sane? I once labled them as most of us do. One good and one bad. Put them under a microscope and a lable they are nothing more. A good perception and a bad perception, but a perception none the less. Any perception can be manipulated into a belief. Everything you are is someone else with your name on it. With your twist. Just as any musician or composer relies on his or hers predecosors.
So what is Unique? If you change this conditioned response from your previous insite, is it a form of self brain washing?
Are some meant to find a deeper meaning in things or are they plagued with a never ending disbelief of all things? This bringing rise to things like self Awareness, hypnosis, living in the moment ect. Are these not all distractions to a never ending void that can't be filled without a belief in something that has some validity to it? Something Solid?
Is being brainwashed to believe in anything so long as your content really a bad thing. Even if it is nieve or ignorant.
If you sleep walk through life, who cares? If eternal rest is the answer for both, then ignorance is bliss.