The ol' "It's Just a Forum" argument...

[Mes Tarrant]

So, at times I've used this myself in response to people getting upset about what happens on DV: "It's just a forum, calm the hell down." And then there were other times when that argument has been used against ME, and I argued that it's not just a forum. I change my mind a lot about things. ANYWAY... I'm just wondering, especially after seeing that thread about how many hours we spend on the internet (and many of us DVers replied 40+ per week), how much do the people and events in this virtual environment affect you? I happened to catch a clip of the Tyra Banks Show (yeah don't laugh at me, I know, I KNOW) where they were discussing various stories of teens being extremely affected by what people say to them on the internet, sometimes to the point of suicide. Do people's words on the internet affect you as much as people saying something to your face? I don't know. After watching that episode I kind of vowed to myself to be civil no matter what online... You never know who you might be hurting, and more importantly, to what extent.

[ClouD]

So, at times I've used this myself in response to people getting upset about what happens on DV: "It's just a forum, calm the hell down." And then there were other times when that argument has been used against ME, and I argued that it's not just a forum. I change my mind a lot about things. ANYWAY... I'm just wondering, especially after seeing that thread about how many hours we spend on the internet (and many of us DVers replied 40+ per week), how much do the people and events in this virtual environment affect you? I happened to catch a clip of the Tyra Banks Show (yeah don't laugh at me, I know, I KNOW) where they were discussing various stories of teens being extremely affected by what people say to them on the internet, sometimes to the point of suicide. Do people's words on the internet affect you as much as people saying something to your face? I don't know. After watching that episode I kind of vowed to myself to be civil no matter what online... You never know who you might be hurting, and more importantly, to what extent. I mostly act online like I do in real life, and I've spent the majority of my time awake online instead of offline in the last few years. I try not to let things get to me, but sometimes they do, and it usually affects me as much as if a person said it to me face to face. People can say "this is just the internet - don't let it affect you", but it's real people interacting. In real life, I can also approach everything as "it's just life - don't let it affect you". A difference in medium doesn't matter, it all still involves human input, and if someone says something that I don't like, I'll react like I will offline (that's not necessarily negatively - I'm generally an easygoing person, but I do have my moments). When I say I love someone, whether it's offline or online, I sincerely mean it. Just because all I come across as is pixels, doesn't mean it isn't genuine communication. That being said, it's easy to discredit things on the internet, just a click and the connection between people disappears.

[Never]

Things on here do not really affect me, but that said, I do believe one should behave the same online as if they were standing in front of the person they are conversing with. I see all too often people act like complete assholes in what is called "hiding behind the screen" because I simply cannot get my hands around their neck from here. It's a sort of identity crisis, where one must be "e-tough" to compensate for the lack of toughness in their actual lives. Their is a definite lack of decency on the internet; way more so than in society. I see it as evidence of how morally weak many people really are, and it's quite sad. If you are an asshole on the internet, then you must be one in life as well unless you are a coward; because obviously it is not consideration of others that drives you to be decent in real life, correct? Rather it is fear of being clubbed over the head for your audacity. "Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split, as a general thing." - Robert Howard

[Kushna Mufeed]

So, at times I've used this myself in response to people getting upset about what happens on DV: "It's just a forum, calm the hell down." And then there were other times when that argument has been used against ME, and I argued that it's not just a forum. I change my mind a lot about things. ANYWAY... You are a woman. This is expected of you. You are forgiven for your natural shortcomings. Impulsive sexism aside, I'd have to say that what people say to me on DV actually does effect me as much as what people say to me in real life. Which is not very much. I'd say people overall are effected by what people say to them on the internet as much as in real life. The issue is not where the interpersonal communication is happening, but within the person. You've got to be rooted in yourself and know who you are. It's the difference between being firm like a rock so the river washes over you, or being a pebble that gets swept along by the current easily.

[Mes Tarrant]

I try not to let things get to me, but sometimes they do, and it usually affects me as much as if a person said it to me face to face. Just because all I come across as is pixels, doesn't mean it isn't genuine communication. That being said, it's easy to discredit things on the internet, just a click and the connection between people disappears. I feel the same way about these points. Although even if I click someone away, whatever they say still stays with me, especially if it's something negative. (By the way. WHY do negative comments stay with us longer than a million positive ones?) I see all too often people act like complete assholes in what is called "hiding behind the screen" because I simply cannot get my hands around their neck from here. It's a sort of identity crisis, where one must be "e-tough" to compensate for the lack of toughness in their actual lives. YES. Those kind of people drive me NUTS, and in the past I've felt no guilt about being an ass back to them... But I guess in the future I should just rise above the situation because at the end of the day they're just miserable people who need help. It's the difference between being firm like a rock so the river washes over you, or being a pebble that gets swept along by the current easily. How about a sea sponge, where the water runs through you?

[Kushna Mufeed]

I guess that works too. The point is you have to be in a state of mind where all the bullshit and backbiting that people spew on a daily basis just flows over you, or through you, leaving you ultimately unaffected by it.

[Carôusoul]

This is tapping into the true teachings of the troll. The troll understand its just a forum and realises that other people take it seriously; hence they can demonstrate the total absurdity of these 'srs business' people by trying to induce "internet-rage" or making them show that in fact they are taking the internet way too seriously practicing the art we know today as "trolling". Trolls remind us that it is after all just the internet, and is almost a parody of itself. In laughing at us and indeed annoying us, the troll is in fact trying to essentially teach us the fundamental troll dogma, that is, that the internet is in no way, shape, or form: serious business. <3 trolls.

[Never]

I disagree; sort of. Can't that, then, be said about anything? As long as someone is an asshole (troll) about it? Where is the line drawn? "It is just this or that"; "Don't take it seriously". It's a license to be an ass. "I only spit on you, don't take it seriously". Unfortunately people don't get to choose their emotions; but you can choose your actions.

[Never]

Going in circles now...

[ClouD]

Yeh, I'm going to let that slide, back on topic now. A practical example of trolling isn't required thanks.

[tkdyo]

honestly, when someone acts tough or yells in BOTH real life and virtual life...it makes me laugh. I try to live by not letting emotion get in the way of debate and those who do have my pity.

[Oneironaut Zero]

"It's just a forum" is, more often than not, what people say when they have provoked someone into saying something that completely destroys them and removes all hope for an effective retaliation. It is a "trump card." It's used to make any onlookers think that the person saying it is "above" the argument at hand - most effectively when they have been painted into a corner, themselves. The funny thing about it is that those who say it most often are, usually, the same ones you can find defending their points of view to the bitter end, on a subject they are more passionate about. And yeah, the "hiding behind the internet" is a huge aspect of it, too. People do use it as an excuse to be as obnoxious as they want, although I don't see the logic behind it. It's kind of like poking your fingers around an inch from someone's eyes and saying "I'm not touching you!" implying that it shouldn't bother you because they aren't actually touching you. This, of course, is an idiotic declaration. It may not be physical contact, but it's still annoying as fuck. Just the same, it may be "just a forum," but you're still an obnoxious prick who deserves to get slapped. I still stand by the observation that those who use the phrase are often the same ones you can see getting just as heated about other subjects, though, as Mes has admitted to.

[ninja9578]

So, at times I've used this myself in response to people getting upset about what happens on DV: "It's just a forum, calm the hell down." And then there were other times when that argument has been used against ME, and I argued that it's not just a forum. I change my mind a lot about things. ANYWAY... I'm just wondering, especially after seeing that thread about how many hours we spend on the internet (and many of us DVers replied 40+ per week), how much do the people and events in this virtual environment affect you? I happened to catch a clip of the Tyra Banks Show (yeah don't laugh at me, I know, I KNOW) where they were discussing various stories of teens being extremely affected by what people say to them on the internet, sometimes to the point of suicide. Do people's words on the internet affect you as much as people saying something to your face? I don't know. After watching that episode I kind of vowed to myself to be civil no matter what online... You never know who you might be hurting, and more importantly, to what extent. Does it make you feel good when I call you pretty on the internet? I can get pissed off sometimes on forums, but it's not as bad as face to face.

[Universal Mind]

I find internet arguing to be too much fun for me to ever get all that affected by what somebody says to me or about me. When I get insulted on the internet, it is like somebody coming to my side of the field with a soccer ball. It's just a chance to have fun. However, I try really hard to make sure I never personally insult anybody who doesn't really deserve it. I have seen just how seriously some people take internet comments. Even though I try to watch out for that, I think people who participate in forums need to understand what game they are playing. The internet is a cesspool for assholes. Beware. People who can't deal with that need to stay off the internet until they can. But more importantly, people shouldn't act like assholes. Just know ahead of time that they do.

[joshiejack]

I wish I could be the person I am online, a happier, more confident person, unlike my real self. I can say things that I'd want to say in real life but would just be too embarassed or scared to say. But that's me. Im different everywhere. I'm different online, at university, i was different at school, i was different at drama, i'm different at home, but aren't we all?

[Brandon Heat]

Hmmm I've caught myself saying that phrase a few times. However more often than not it's under circumstances where an individual has gone way overboard on his views or whatever the circumstances had been. However I only have this view because I also lead a life offline. If this online world was all I had then of course I would take things that happened on it far more seriously and get way more worked up over things than I normally do. But, that is not the case. And so when I am online I see it as a source of entertainment and interaction. You can talk with people, joke with them, be an asshole, etc. And at the end of the day shut it off and boom it's done. Or you can turn it back on and do it all over again. So I would have to say the offline me and the online me are pretty much identical only difference being I don't have any fear in voicing my opinions online. I am much more outgoing and bolder in my comments. So to answer the question since there is a 99% that I will never come into personal contact with anyone I meet online, and thus they will have no actual impact on my offline life I have to say I can't be hurt by much that goes on here. Except of course when your rights to visit a site is taken away. At which point it would break into a routine I had formed and then I'd get a bit of a pissy attitude. But that's life it's shit and gets flushed end of story.