Thread: You Show Me Yours...

"First Action Hero"
-March 16 2007

I'm in a grocery store with Arnold Schwarzenegger. There are two 'bad guys' who have taken over the store, they have 'hostages' in shopping carts. Arnold is trying to rescue the citizens from their captors without much success. They all have guns except for me, everyone is shooting at each other. Somehow I get the idea to grab a 2L pop bottle and shake it up really well, then I pop the top and come around a corner to surprise the bad guys, I spray pop into both of their eyes, blinding and confusing them. This really gets them angry. Before they can fully recover I start head-butting them in their noses, this puts the two of them completely out of action. I wake up as I'm still alternately smashing my forehead into the the two bad guys' faces repeatedly. Somehow I know that if I stop they will recover and continue with their badness so I just keep on smashing their faces with my head. I remember when I awoke feeling dissapointed that I didn't get to see Arnie's reaction to what I did, ie: me "stealing his thunder" so to speak.

"Salty Swim"
-March 19 2007

I am standing in front of a nurse's desk, I am being admitted into some kind of hospital, my daughter A. has already been admitted. I'm with some guy who I don't know. The desk nurse is asking me if I need any access to the special smoking area, I proudly tell her that I have just recently quit smoking, so no, I do not need to go to the smoking room. (Oddly enough just yesterday I really quit smoking, for good.) When the nurse is done with me I go off to find my daughter, when I find her she is tucked into her bed and OK. There's another little girl asleep in her bed with her. Knowing that she's alright I head out to catch up with the guy I was with before.
Next I am looking around in some kind of convenience store trying to locate that guy, I am drinking water out of a measuring cup, which has all of the other people in the store looking at me like I am nuts. Finally I find the guy and I suggest that we should go for a swim. Now we are swimming in some kind of a hot-spring, the water seems very salty and corrosive but it is not hurting us. I am treading water over some kind of salt deposit, all crystaline and mounded up underneath me in the water. I remember it feeling very warm and humid.

"Hospital Parking Lot"
-March 20 2007

I am sitting on a hospital bed being examined by a doctor, he is asking me a lot of questions. Another doctor comes along and starts asking the first doctor a bunch of questions, he has a very large bottle of pills in his hand, I know that I don't want them. Next I am in the parking lot explaining the whole thing to some kind of security officer, this guy is VERY french but he has no trouble at all understanding me. Now a little kid comes along on a small motorcycle and starts chasing me around. I try to lose him but he always seems to catch up to me, when I try to hide he finds me out.

"Bathroom Visitors"
-March 21 2007

I am sitting on the toilet in my bathroom, my wife D. comes in and starts talking to me, then my Dad comes in with a bag of art supplies and tells us about the signs he wants me to make for the deli (which no longer exists). He explains to my wife how he is going to dodge the legal issues of what the signs are going to say.



"Party In B.C."
-March 21 2007

I am with my old friend Pat, we are both in British Columbia, apparently he is trying to find some heroin and I am tagging along with him even though I don't do that stuff (never have). We are searching in the forest, there are people scattered around in small groups here and there. Pat asks everyone we see to no avail. We find one guy who is cooking up his own fix in a spoon but when Pat asks the guy for some he appologizes and says that he just doesn't have enough to share, but as an afterthought he offers to smoke a frog (?!) with him. I watch, fascinated, as they somehow manage to actually smoke a little green frog. The other guy is putting a flame to the frog's ass and little puffs of smoke are coming out of the frog's mouth. Apparently Pat is not doing it properly so the other guy is coaching him. He shows Pat how to give the frog a gentle squeeze which makes a little bit more smoke puff out. This makes me laugh, but still I can only look on in sheer awe. Next Pat & I are leaving a party that we have been at all night, as we go to get our bicycles I notice that Pat's bike is right there where he left it but mine isn't, instead there's just some crappy old jalopy where my bike was. I am NOT happy about this at all and decide that I will just steal myself a new, better bike. There are amazing bikes everywhere I look, none of them are locked up. But I just cannot make up my mind, even though it is a "revenge theft" for my bike having been stolen I still can't shake the feeling of guilt so I just wander around the neighborhood looking at all the cool bikes and never pick one to steal.

Smoking that frog is the funniest thing I've seen in a long time! Sparking up it's ass, hilarious!

Smoking that frog is the funniest thing I've seen in a long time! Sparking up it's ass, hilarious!

I KNOW eh? Even when I had that dream I was all like "wtf was THAT?!" I've smoked a LOT of stuff, but never a frog.

"Driving With Dad"
-March 28 2007

I am driving my Dad's car, he is beside me in the passenger seat. We have two passengers in the back seat, a man and his daughter, I'm not sure who they are. I keep on making wrong turns and we are getting more and more lost all the time. I park the car so that we can walk to where we want to be, then I realize how to get the car there too so I tell everyone to wait for me while I go back to get the car. I come back with the car and pick everyone up and we continue on our way. My Dad keeps on turning off my music and putting his on, this really annoys me. We keep on driving.



"Printing Shirts"
-March 28 2007

I'm with a few guys who I don't know, we are doing some kind of a computer design layout for a print job, moving graphics around to get the layout just right. Next we are watching the shirts being printed out, just like sheets of paper. Three are coming out at the same time, like when the printer pulls multiple pages that are stuck together through at once. The top shirt is perfect, exactly like the on-screen layout, the second one underneath is only about half printed from the soak-through. The third one is just black on white and is very cool looking, a very happy accident indeed. I ask the guys if I can keep this one, it is my favorite. They tell me "no problem" and I'm very happy that I get to keep the one I like the most.

"TV Shopping"
-April 03 2007

I have a big wad of money in my pocket so I decide to go shopping for a big-screen TV. I know I shouldn't spend the money on something so frivolous but I am going to anyway, even if it's going to get me into trouble with my wife D. I am at Futureshop looking at all the different models, the salesman shows me one set that has a reversable screen, I immediately realize that this is completely useless, why would anyone ever want, or need, to flip the screen around. He explains to me that this is a display model and that I can get a very, very good deal on it because there's some damage to the wood cabinet. I decide that the deal is too good to pass up and I tell him that I'll take it. He puts it into a shopping cart and I wheel it up to the checkout at which point I come to the realization that even though I have a LOT of money it's still not going to be enough. The cashier rings it up and I fill out all the paperwork and then I am leaving the store with my new TV... WITHOUT having paid for it! Somehow the cashier has left out that part of the transaction. Next I am back at home, showing the new TV to my wife D. she is not very happy about it at all until I tell her that I didn't have to pay for it, I prove this to her by flashing the big roll of money that I still have, then she doesn't mind quite so much. Next I am at work telling everybody what a steal of a deal I got, explaining how the cashier forgot to take my money.

"Almost Lucid"
-April 04 2007

(finally, some real progress!)
I am walking around with my old friend Mark who I haven't seen for quite some time, for some reason we are trying to find a bank. Everything is weird, nothing is normal or making any kind of sense at all. I exclaim "this is all too crazy, it must be a dream!". Next I am yelling at the top of my lungs: "Mark! This is a dream!". I feel as though I am saying this out loud, for real, in my bed. I half-expect my wife to be standing over me when I awaken. Later she reports not having heard anything.

"Future Office"
-April 11 2007

I'm in some kind of office, the cubicles are all clear, as if made out of glass or plexi. There are a lot of people bustling about. One of the woman is upset about losing some important data. One of the guys there is telling her not to worry about it, that's the beauty of his new back-up system, nothing will ever be lost again. One of the other guys is feeding a thick gel disc into a machine that is like a mangler (old washing-machine wringer), pulling the thick slab of clear gel between the two rollers. Another guy is preparing the next slab, trimming the corners off and making it round.

"My Birthday"
-April 12 2007

It's my Birthday, I'm with a few people, they have some Birthday cards for me but the dates on them are all wrong, none of the cards say my real birth date June 3rd but somehow I know that they are supposed to be for me.



"The Long Way Home"
-April 12 2007

I've had this dream before and I know it. I am trying to make my way home and I am going down a street on foot. Sometimes I'm in the houses, other times I am outside going across the front yards. It's very familiar to me and it is always a very long, almost endless journey. When I am inside the houses they are all connected, like row-houses only they don't have any doors, instead the passage into the next unit is always hidden or disguised in the cabinets or under a closet door or something. It's hard to explain but I am always climbing over or going under some kind of barrier to advance into the next apartment. There's another guy with me who shows me one of the passages that I have been having trouble with. Next we are in some lady's apartment, she is not happy with us at all. I'm looking everywhere but I can't find the exit so finally I ask her the way out. She shows me the door, just a normal door this time, nothing unusual.



"Gas For Stan"
-April 12 2007

I'm on my way in to work, I go past Stan B. in his truck waiting to turn, he pulls out and is following behind me. I'm watching him in my rear-view mirror. We are going down a gravel road and he is right behind me, then one time when I look up he's not there anymore but I see that he is way back up the road. I can just make out that his hood is up. I immediately turn around to go back to help him. As I approach his truck I am asking what the problem is, he's answering that all he needs is a boost and he's making that gesture with his hands, but then instead I am giving him fuel, like he was out of gas. As I am filling his tank I'm explaining to him that the "gas" I use is used deep-fryer oil but that cars can run just fine on it, only it smells like french fries a little bit when you're driving.

This night before I went to bed I read the thing on erowid about melatonin by the guy who pretty much overdosed himself. I thought to myself wtf, I've tried melatonin before in varying dosages, having read that 3mg might be "way too much" so I tried a half (1.5mg) & a quarter (.75mg) with little or no results. Then I read this guy's experience of taking 15mg so that's just exactly what I did. I took 15mg about half an hour before going to dream. Well I fell asleep faster than if I was at a Leonard Cohen concert (& that's pretty damned fast, lemme tell ya!) and proceeded to have 2 really vivid dreams, they are as follows...

"Second Action Hero"
-April 16 2007

My Wife and my Baby are in some kind of trouble, they are being held captive in some kind of caged compound by a "bad guy". I decide to sneak in from the other side by coming in the front gate. I make my way unseen to the back where they are being held, the bad guy is transporting them out as I approach, they are coming out through a fence gate, I lower my head as I get near to them, somehow I know that it's important for me not to be recognized by the bad guy. I duck into an ajoining cage/room as they go past me. I duck down low amongst the room full of people, I pretend to be the photocopier repairman so as to not stand out. I'm down on my hands and knees inspecting this big old photocopy machine, I tell the people something to the effect that I am fixing the wheels on it but then I notice that it is bolted right down to the floor. I leave that room. Next we are at "our house" only it's some house that I have never been in before. We are in the bedroom and I am holding the Baby, still trying to not be recognized by the bad guy who is still there with us. I'm successful in keeping my head tilted just so that he can't tell who I am.



"Baby At Work"
-April 16 2007

I'm at work holding my baby boy M. on my shoulder. I have some tent-peg spikes in my hand but they are broken. I start to head down the stairs towards the workshop area and my boss P. is standing on the landing, halfway down the stairs. As we approach he goes down the stairs in front of us. At the bottom of the stairs he asks me exactly what it is that I am doing, like he typically does. I show him the broken spikes and explain that I am going to fix them with some nails or something, he agrees that that's a good idea then asks me how the baby is doing. I tell him that M. is fine, very healthy and happy. I bring M. down off of my shoulder in front of me, he is smiling broadly and making happy baby gooing sounds.

"Cocaine Decisions"
-April 17 2007


I'm with some guy I don't know, we are at a party with a lot of people. Then we are out on the street flagging down vehicles trying to score some cocaine (verry odd, I haven't done that shit in years) eventually we connect with some people in a van who chop out a bunch of lines for us. Next we are walking up a long flight of stairs going up to the guy's apartment, I'm complaining about how we didn't stay long enough for me to snort any rails, the guy is asking me: "really?". This dream is brief on paper, but it played out really, really long in my head, I remember thinking when I awoke how odd it was that so little activity could take so long to occurr, if I had to guess I'd say that probably a lot more went on that I couldn't quite remember, nonetheless I remembered the overall length of the dream just the same.

"On Yer Bike"
-April 18 2007


I'm on the back of my ex best-friend G.'s motorcycle, we are sitting in a long line of traffic waititng to turn left at an intersection. There are two turning lanes and they are very backed up. Most of the other traffic is also motorcycles. Seems like everyone is jump-starting their bikes, like nobody's ignitions are working. This is slowing things down a lot. As we get to the set of lights nearing our turn the guy to the right of us is on a big-ass Harley. My friend & I both comment on how much of a waste of money that bike is, and that for that much money you could buy TWO decent motorcycles, the guy doesn't look too impressed but still nods in agreement. We make our turn, with me pushing and G. jumping on the kick-start, he stops to let me on.

I had many, many long dreams last night, unfortunately I could barely remember any of them. Here are a few of the odd fragments that I did recall.

"Bulldozer From Tony"
-April 19 2007

I'm with Tony Soprano, we are doing something illegal in and/or around a swimming pool, the ceiling is very high. There are other gangsters helping us, none of them are characters from the TV show. When we are finished there is a massive oversized bulldozer there ,I don't know if we stold it or we built it or bought it or what. It is a gift to me from Tony, wow! Then there is an old man sleeping in a bed near us (?!) I don't remember much else.




"Spanking A Dead Monkey"
-April 19 2007


This dream was just too weird. I'm standing in front of a mirror masturbating, or at least trying to, but willy is not responding. Still I won't give up, I'm jerking away on the limp noodle. Then when I'm ready to climax I end up urinating instead. I was really relieved to wake up in dry underwear, I checked right away suspecting the worst. Told you it was weird.

"Tease A Bull"
-April 20 2007

I'm in some kind of contest, like a Japanese game show. We have to eat different food items and get a bull to chase us back and forth through a wall of doors. My daughter A. is playing with me and we are eating black olives and spitting the pits out at the bull. He is chasing us like he is supposed to, we do stay one step ahead of him. At one point the bull manages to get out through the real door, everyone is scrambling to get it back into the game arena.

"Safety Deposit Garage"
-April 21 2007

I'm with a high school buddy, oddly enough I'm not exactly sure who it is. We are standing in front of a garage door waiting for the elevator. When it arrives it takes me quite a while to figure out how the whole thing works but I finally manage to latch the door mechanism so that it won't come down on our heads. We load all of the boxes that we have onto the elevator, we are putting them in to storage of some kind, like a gigantic safety deposit box system. When we get to our destination level we start unpacking the big boxes. It seems that we are putting some stuff in and taking some other stuff out. At one point I find a bunch of pairs of socks and underwear, then I'm telling my buddy "hey, don't pack these, I can always use them".

"My Karate Kid"
-April 23 2007

My wife and I are having a discussion with the sensai of the Cobra-Kai dojo (Martin Kove from Karate Kid), he is at our house. I am explaining to him that his style is too aggressive and that we don't want him teaching our daughter A. anymore. He's then telling me something about the dangers of being too soft and that kids today need all the hardness that they can get ahold of. I keep on explaining that the way he teaches is just far too mean and aggressive, this gets him very, very mad and I start to get the feeling that I'm going to be getting a beating, I tell him that I understand the importance of being serious but that my daughter won't be fighting Steven Seagal or Jean-Claude Van Damme. I tell him also that I don't want it just to be a play session for her either but that there has got to be some middle ground there somewhere. Then he is crying.. I sense that maybe he has heard this before, and here he is losing yet another customer. At least I don't feel like I'm going to get beat up anymore. *Phew*

"Concert With Luke"
-April 24 2007

I'm at a concert in general admission waiting for the show to start. I'm with some black guy who I don't know, we are talking a lot. I spark up a joint and start to share it with him, just then my best buddy Luke comes along. He says "Hey, save some of that for me!". I tell him "no problem, since I've stopped smoking every day it doesn't take a whole lot to get me really stoned anymore". He's asking me about quitting: "Wasn't it hard?" "Do you miss it?" etc.



"Fixing Drunk's TV"
-April 24 2007

This is a recurring dream, I've fixed this drunkard's TV before & I know it. This guy is an ex-neighbor of ours, his name is Winston or Charleston or something. I'm on my way up to his apartment, when I get there I let myself in. He's loaded, as usual. The TV is really not working right this time, his cable box is not connected so he's just getting "air" channels. When I look at the back of the TV I see that one of the UHF/VHF wires is disconnected completely. I take the little box apart to repair the wire, he keeps on telling me that's not the problem, and he's starting to get upset. I tell him that I have to fix this wire to get the TV to work, then I notice that the wire is completely gone, when I ask him he sheepishly admits that he removed the wire himself and tells me where it can be found. I get the wire and complete the repair. Then we have to go somewhere in his car, his friend is driving. We have to pick up some meat and deliver it somewhere, also we have to pick up some cheese on the way. When we're done and are parking the car there are 3 or 4 little girls playing there in the parking lot, they are asking us if we brought them any toys. One of the little girls is showing me one of her toys and asking me if my daughter has one. We go back up to drunk guy's apartment, leaving the girls playing in the lot.

"Big Sword"
-April 25 2007


I'm with some guy who I don't know, we are at some kind of a school building trying to find a sword, I'm not sure why. We scan each classroom one by one, finally we find one room that has a bunch of people, there's an elderly asian man giving some kind of presentation. He's showing a huge sword with a wavy blade, at least 5' long. The guy I am with springs into action, he dashes into the room, takes the sword from the old guy and proceeds to decapitate him. Everyone in the room is screaming as the old guy's head rolls onto the table. With the sword now in hand my friend rejoins me and we make our way back out to our van, along the way people are trying to take the sword back from us, including a family with 2 little girls. One of the little girls is so brave that she actually grabs the blade with her bare hands. I gently take her back to her Father telling him that his daughter is very brave. We get outside the building and put the sword into the back of our van and close the doors, I have to move the sword around in the back to make it fit.

"Drugstore Wifey"
-April 26 2007

My wife D. is on the phone with the pharmacy, she's really upset, almost in tears. She's yelling at the pharmacist because he could have saved her some money but didn't. She's telling him that we're not all made out of money and that she really could have used that money elsewhere. I come over to where she's sitting to ask her about it, she tells me the amount of money that she's talking about, which isn't that much really, it doesn't seem like a big deal to me. She tells me that it's the principle of the thing that matters, I shrug and say "whatever".



"School Detective"
-April 26 2007

I'm in the change room at school, getting into some kind of uniform. I'm chatting with the guy next to me who obviously isn't a student. I ask him what he does, he tells me that he is the school detective, "full time?" I ask, he answers yes. I comment that "wow, when I was a kid there was no such thing" he tells me that it is a different world today than the one he and I grew up in. I say "yeah, when I was in grade school we just got a once-a-week visit from Constable Taylor (we called him "constipated failure"). I finish putting my clothes on.

"Sandwich Cat"
-April 27 2007

I'm in the kitchen making a big smoked meat sandwich like the ones I used to make when I was running the deli. I'm microwaving the plate of thinly sliced meat and putting the rye bread in for 20 seconds at the end. After it's made I come out into the living room and ask my wife D. where our cat Sylvester is, she tells me that he is behind her in the foyer but when I look there I see our cat Matisse there instead looking out at me. I shout his name "Matisse!" I am thrilled to pieces to see him, it's been just about 4 years since he passed away. He was the best cat ever in the whole wide world. He looks up at me startled.



"Biking To B.C."
-April 27 2007

I'm on a very, very long bike ride in the Winter, I'm on my way to meet my friends Pat and Luke in British Columbia. I get to a huge train bridge but I am down at the bottom wondering how I am going to get up to the top. I start to make my way up and then there's a train up there collecting more cars. By the time I get to the top the train is gone but it has left a few box cars behind. I'm feeling rather thirsty and that's when I notice that one of the cars is open at one end and filled with cases of bottled water. Being that it's Winter and colder than Hell I just assume that they are all frozen cock-stiff, but when I grab a bottle it's just fine, I take a few big swigs. The water doesn't taste bad but somehow I can tell it's old and just not very good. Then someone is yelling at me, railroad security perhaps, something about trespassing and move along or I'll be shot. A couple of bullets whiz past near my head but I can't see where they're coming from, still and all I decide that it's time I was moving along. Then I am arriving in some little town, I stop and call Luke on the cell phone he tells me what street to meet them on. I hang up and start looking for that street, somehow I know that I am headed in the right general direction. When I decide to finally look at my map to locate myself I realize that I am on the street that I was looking for, then I see Luke and Pat coming towards me and I tell them that I was just about to look at my map until I saw that I was already where I needed to be. Then as we start talking the yard that we are sitting in on our bikes starts filling up with other people on bikes. Luke and Pat start to tell me about some good deals we can get on bikes and accessories but that we have to buy 3 of each in order to get the good discount. Then we are browsing in a showroom, we each pick a frame then forks then tires and wheels. They tell me the model of MP3 player that they want but I don't want one at all. They keep on trying to convince me but I just don't want one at all.



"School Chips Ruffles"
-April 27 2007 - WBTB

I'm in a school classroom with a bunch of kids, I can only assume that I'm a kid too. We are having snack-time and everyone is munching on some food, there are bags of chips on some of the desks and we are running around helping ourselves to them. I spot a bag of Ruffles and grab a few handfulls of them then I run away munching on them. The odd thing is that when I wake up I can actually still taste the potato chips in my mouth, that's a first for me, very odd.



"Parking Garage Sales"
-April 27 2007 - WBTB

I'm with our neighbor Steve in a parking garage, he's showing me a car that he wants to sell to me. We are walking around the car inspecting it. He's telling me what a good deal it is and that even after it's paid for I'd still be able to get a lot more than what I paid for it. Then the superintendant of the building is calling me on my cell phone asking me when we are going to move some thing (can't remember what) off of one of the balconies, I tell him that we are on our way, but then I can't seem to find the way over to the other side of the parking structure to where the stuff is that needs moving. Then we are inside the building in one of the apartment units, looking around in a dresser of drawers. I find a big bag of weed and wonder if I should take it or not because I'm getting the feeling that it's a set-up. I decide to go ahead and take it. Next I am waiting for the elevator and the super is there asking me again when I'll be moving that stuff. I remember being paranoid that he was going to find out about the weed I took.

"Neighbor Talk"
-April 29 2007

I'm at home, the neighbor Barry from across the street is visiting. I'm telling him the story about when my wife D. and I stayed awake for 60+ hours straight, but I keep on getting interupted by different things. I just tell him one part of the story and something happens to stop me. Then my wife D. comes home, yet another interuption. I continue again with the story, D. confirming all the details as I go along. I think I finally manage to get the whole thing out.

So here's the story: We were coming back from Amsterdam, we got up at 6:00am at my Dad's place in Abcoude, we had to be to the airport in Brussels Belgium before noon-ish. My Dad's buddy Frances gives us a ride to Belgium (he had a business meeting there later in the day anyhow, lucky us) and we make our flight on time. We land in Mirabel at around noon (6 hr. flight with a 6 hr. time difference = teleport) which is perfect because we have a concert (Queensrÿche's Empire tour) in Ottawa at 7:30pm only we find out that Mirabel is NOT Montreal and that it's going to take a long-ass time to get to Ottawa by bus. So we finally get to Ottawa at about 7:00pm & our friends pick us up, we zoom back to our house to get changed and drop off our luggage. We drop 2 hits of acid each and go to the concert. We meet a bunch of friends at the show and invite everyone back to our place afterwards. At noon the next day we are still wide awake but fading fast.. my wife D. loses control of her tear ducts and starts crying about "nothing" but can't stop. We finally fall asleep, it's been over 60 hours that we have been up for when we add it all up. What a trip.

"Wife Won't Come Home"
-April 30 2007

I'm waiting at home for my wife D. to get home, she is really, really late. Our baby boy M. is wayyy overdue for feeding. When she eventually gets home I shake her silly and yell like crazy. At first she doesn't care at all, but after awhile she gets very appologetic. I'm still very mad and I call her a bunch of bad names, it really ticks me off that she could just leave and forget about our son like that. Eventually I accept her appology and we reconcile.