I have some thoughts, but you'll have to wade through a couple responses first ...
[QUOTE=Gills;1920981]That's interesting as well, because it shows that this is really different from person to person. Although I do remember reading one post on the old Lucidity Institute discussion forums, where one user described the exact thing I am talking about. He too, noticed his dreams always having to do with something that he least thought about during the day. [\QUOTE] I wasn't questioning your "condition;" indeed, I've heard of it myself ... I was just offering my own twist to the subject, to agree that I think this can happen, with variety.
Expectation rarely worked for me. I tried to induce/incubate certain dreams by fully expecting to dream about something, but it never ever worked. Not once. I do agree however that emotions influence dreams.
Deeper expectations might be necessary (more in a minute).
Exactly, because MILD never worked for me. Nope, not a single time. I find this interesting because Stephen LaBerge said that MILD was his favorite method. This again shows that there are really extreme differences from person to person.
LaBerge will also be the first to tell you this, and would likely add his basic disinterest in specific "techniques," just for that reason. Yes, Stephen has a personal (annoying) knack for memory, memory games, and centers his DreamCamp lectures around memory. Funny thing is, though, he rarely suggests using MILD ... probably because he knows how different people can be! So, yeah: what you said!
It is in all seriousness always one of those things which I least thought about. For example if I had a 2 minute conversation during the day with someone about ducks, then there would an extreme likelihood I would dream something duck-related that night. But of course this would only work if I completely forgot that I had this conversation about ducks. In other words, it has to be something which happened during the day, but which is forgotten.
I think you misunderstood me on this, which could have been my fault. What I was trying to point out was that the "big" things in your daily experience might actually be showing up in your dreams, but they're too "macro" to readily notice. I guess the thought might not make sense, but that's where I was going...
If I were to think about it several times during the day, then the chances of dreaming about it would be very low. If I think about it right before going to bed, or while laying in bed, then the chances of dreaming about it are close to zero.
This is slightly different, so I separated it. That you were thinking about a thing doesn't necessarily make it something that would show up in your dreams; indeed, you seem to have a built-in mechanism that keeps the stuff you think about from turning up in your dream -- at least as recognizable events (see above), which is what you're looking for here, I think. I also think this isn't as unusual as you might think.
No really that's not it. I noticed a pattern, that whenever these nightmares occurred, it is when I wasn't thinking about them much during the day. But if I thought about them right before bed, and while laying in bed, then they wouldn't happen.
The problem is, that because of this "issue", dream incubation is basically impossible for me. Unless I were to trick my mind to think about something once or twice during the day and "forget about it" later, I have no chances of dreaming about something I want. That's why lucid dreams are the only way out for me.
See? you've already begun to solve the problem on your own, on a couple of levels.
Now I have a question: If you had the same problem as I, how would you try to incubate a dream? Lucid dreaming induction aside, I am asking myself how you would try to "trick" your mind into having a non-lucid dream about a certain subject. If it turns into an LD later on that's not a problem. I'd just love to hear your thoughts on this.
I'll give you my thoughts, but you're not going to like them...
The only solution I've found with this is to either not bother with dream induction at all, or use your imagination.
Ignoring induction means simply doing DILD (or MILD, which in your case is already moot), and preparing your mind during the day with many RC's and a heightened sense of the "odd." I won't insult you with descriptions of how to do these things, because I'm sure you're aware. Suffice it to say that, if you cannot rely on traditional signals like day residue to help you recognize the dream, you need to go to sleep with more powerful-than-normally-needed self-awareness coupled with maybe a habit or two that forces you to ask after the state you're in. This activity could also include the "deeper expectations" I mentioned above ... include your latest expectations -- maybe just a quiet thought about them -- in every RC, and you might very well find yourself remembering the expectations you went to bed with when you have your first post - Ah-Ha moment during a DILD RC. That will do nothing to incubate a dream, it will have you in the right place during the wrong dream to lend your hand to making it the right dream (see below).
But, though that answer I think is the right one, it has nothing to do with incubation, so here's another thought: Use your imagination! Don't use the dream as supplied to you at all. How? Enter your dream through WILD/DEILD, and build the dream as you see fit, with no need for references to day residue or hopes that your life's major subjects might show up. As I noticed above, you're already doing this in reverse when dealing with nightmares, so you know what to do.
In other words, with WILD you retain your waking awareness and memory throughout the dive to sleep, so there is no reason you can't "bring along" what's important to you that particular LD session. It might not be easy, because your dreaming mind is clearly not drawing from the same list of priorities as your conscious mind, but there's no reason you can't coax your unconscious into playing ball. For instance, let's say you just had a major fight with a dear friend, and want to revisit it to see what went wrong: you do WILD and, while your dreaming mind is forming a moment you spent in the market trying to decide between peas or beans, you remember your goal and simply leave the market, turn a corner, and walk into the pub where you had the fight. You might have to produce a DC of your friend, and maybe throw a beer at him to fire him up, but your dreaming mind ought to catch on eventually and give you a salient situation.
tl;dr: So I guess my suggestion is not to try incubation at all, but rather let your mind do what it must and adjust the dream to your needs after you're "in." And if you really want to get therapeutic about it, after you've made you're adjustments choose to lose lucidity and let your unconscious have at you!
I hope that helped!
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