Ok. A small problem has come to my attension in recent months. Please excuse me for lack of better words, I don't mean to offend or anything. When I haven't masturbated in a while, I act compleately different than if I just had like. Not just feel tired or any thing, but my behavior is different. The best way to describe it I guess is is sort of a lesser version of bipolar dissorder. Like without I have no trouble talking to people who I don't know and no problem speaking out. However, I think some weird thoughts. Very weird and sexual fetish thoughts, eirlier today I was debating if when I was 18 I wanted to get mtf surgery... Looking back, I was out of my mind.

Opposingly, I am the opposite. I am alot more quiet and tend to stick to the normal. I feel more like romance and whatnot. Like wanting love and love and to be wealthy.

The thing is it is kind of a high when I am in the risk taking stage, but then I fear I will make a bad decision. Maybe it is just because I had masturbated at least once a day for about a year, but it was an immense difference after only four days. So is this normal and I am just not used to it, or what.

Also I am sorry for using the word masturbate. It is a Very ugly word, but I don't know a polite one unless you want me to say hand releif.