Alternate Relationship in Dreams

**Scissors110** · 07-17-2012 12:39 AM

Let me start off by saying this is my very first post on any forum about dreams, and this seemed like the perfect place to begin extending my knowledge of the subject. Glad to be here!

A bit of backstory, I have a great girlfriend that I've been dating for about 6 months now. She's always bending over backwards for me, but for some reason I find myself being unsociable most days. I do suffer from clinical depression but generally it doesn't affect me too badly. I feel bad sometimes because I feel like I'm hurting her, but she never shows it. Anyways, starting yesterday my depression began hitting me hard. I'm a bit more stressed as I just started my first "adult job" fresh out of college, and it's a lot to take in. Also, my girlfriend recently moved in with me which has also added stress.

This dream began more like a nightmare. It was a typical apocalypse-type dream, and apparently zombies were in my mind. It was more of a survival experience. At one point in the dream, I met a girl who looked similar to my girlfriend, but different. This girl had black hair, while my girlfriend has brown. Dream girl was into rock music, my girlfriend is into pop. Dream girl was independent and intelligent, girlfriend is needy of me and sometimes pretty ditzy. Basically, this girl in my dreams was my real life girlfriend, but with additional qualities that are important to me personally. For example, music is a huge part of my life that I and my real life girl just don't see eye-to-eye on. I instantly fell in love with this new girl but felt bad, because I felt as if I were cheating on my girlfriend. The horror aspect of zombies really didn't play much of a bigger role, it was more of the "end of the world" vibe that this new girl and I started our conversation on. It was almost as if we as a society had gotten used to the zombies being around, and that they were more of a minor annoyance than anything else.

Since waking up, I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. It seriously hindered my productivity at work today, and I'd like a little insight as to what this might symbolize. I know it's kind of my selfishness, wishing my girlfriend had qualities that she does not, despite her being amazing in many other aspects. I've never had a dream get me so depressed before though, so I wanted to ask about it. Thanks in advance for any replies!

**Jdeadevil** · 07-17-2012 01:12 AM

Welcome to the forum.

I think it makes a lot of sense for you to fall in-love with a girl in your dream, I'm assuming from the post that the feeling was more special than with her 'real' counterpart? Well this definitely makes sense as your emotions are much more powerful in your dreams. When you're not in this physical world, identifying someone is easier because you don't have to see or hear them to know who they are, you're relying on a different sense. You've already said that this person is your girlfriend so that indicates to me that you shouldn't feel like you're emotionally cheating, because it's the same person. The way you describe this dream makes it sound like that in an ideal world, your girlfriend would have the same qualities and preferences as in your dream, or at-least you wish there was proper communication about a lack of eye-to-eye.

The situation of her moving in with you whilst you're under the stress of a new job is similar to the situation of you and her meeting in a post-apocalyptic universe. Reason being is that it's quite easy to view most people nowadays as zombies, they all appear to be the same in terms of behaviour and preference and never seem fully awake; soulless. You and her living together can easily connect to you two being together in the dream.

Something I want to advise you on though is that from past experience, sometimes your dreams can point things out that other people simply can't for various reasons. Your feelings about a relationship can easily change depending on what they tell you as-well. I'll give you an example, last year I was a long-term relationship with someone I had strong feelings for, yet due to circumstance it was incredibly difficult; distance and lack of Internet being the most important. One night I had a dream where I had just started going out with her again, but in the dream she was a little child who I felt little connection with, yet I kept leading her on telling her that I loved her. When I woke up I felt guilty, disgusting and loveless and this pointed out that I didn't know what I was doing really, and when we broke up I was rid of the guilt and the stress of keeping up a relationship that was inevitably going to suck given what I thought about it/her otherwise. I'm not saying you should think about breaking up, because your situation is quite different, but you should listen to what your subconscious is secretly trying to tell you via your dreams; maybe you're uncomfortable with your differences or you have no spark thus the dream gave you the opportunity to spark with her again.

I haven't had much experience with dream interpretation, however I do think dreams can make you perceive things differently if you let them, especially if they relate to your life situation.

**Scissors110** · 07-17-2012 01:52 AM

Thanks for the extensive response! Your ideas really made a lot of sense to me and my situation. My girlfriend is currently away dog-sitting for her mother, but when she gets back I might talk to her about my feelings. I will admit, I've been feeling a bit disconnected from her lately. I guess it's a feeling of that spark being gone already. The dream did kind of renew that a bit. I guess I'll just have to wait and see what the next couple of days bring me so I can get my thoughts in order.

Thanks again for the input!