I put quite a bit of time yesterday into getting ready to potentially have a LD. All that went out the door last night because of a single phone call it seems. Something about that phone call I guess had a bigger impact on my subconscious than anything else I did that day. Not surprising though, since the call was from my ex-girlfriend. Up until the night before last, my dreams were pretty much full of either unpleasant situations, pretty obviously symbolized versions of what I am feeling about the whole thing, or direct dreams about her or about me moving on. Some of the dreams where I had moved on were kinda nice, others were actually just as bad as the rest. I dreamed a few times that we had gotten back together even. Night before last I thought I had finally broken out of it, shortly before going to bed my mood suddenly improved (haven't quite figured out why) and that night I didn't have a single dream related to her or the breakup. But then that call last night did something. Last night I dreamed something completely new, I dreamed that she had moved on. All I wanted to do in this dream was punch this guy in the face, I refrained from doing so, but that's what I wanted to do. Thing is, we're not together anymore, so I realize that if she actually did move on to someone else, it shouldn't bother me, but this dream sorta. After that dream I was going to try and do a DEILD, but I was to distracted and disturbed by what I had just dreamed about, so instead after falling back asleep I dreamed about almost drowning, before going to a hotel with um, very leaky plumbing....... yeah, fun.

We broke up on the 8th of this month (December), well, I dumped her, over the phone, 2 days after her birthday. Long story. Anyway, I know I hurt her by doing that, but obviously the point of doing that wasn't to hurt her, in fact I felt terrible about having done that to her. We had some problems, problems I tried to resolve diplomatically several times, but it just never worked. Unfortunately it seemed the only way to fix said problem was to simply get out of the relationship, because the problem wasn't going away, and if I just let things go on like that much longer, I may have found myself with a whole new set of problems that I really couldn't get out of. I really didn't want to break up with her, but I had to. Here is the kicker, based on all of the post break up conversations we have had, including the one from last night, I know she wants us to get back together, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to either. Its also possible that from all of this she got the message, and may finally actually let the problem I mentioned earlier go. I'm not convinced that would be the case, and even if it were, I don't think rushing right back into things is the best move. I feel like whatever happens, I need some time before I can let myself back into that relationship, or into a new one. This was also my first break up.

So I'm wondering, is there any way to fix my dreams? One of the biggest problems right now is, I'm tired of my subconscious telling me stuff I already know. Yeah, it sucks, I got the picture already. Obviously, LDing is one way, taking control of the dreams and simply turning them into something else, but as I saw last night, that may not exactly work. Are there any other ways to try and change the content of my dreams? What about dream incubation? Is there any way to make my subconscious prioritize dreaming about something else over this stuff?

The only other ways I can think to fix this and force the dreams to stop are to either just get back together with her, and as I already mentioned, I'm not really ready to do that, and by the time I might actually be ready that option may not even be on the table anymore, or to move on in such a way that even my subconscious is satisfied that I have moved on, and that is a lot easier said than done.

Help?


tl;dr: Broke up with my girlfriend. Dreams have sucked since. How can I fix that?